So Angry

[Hard24Get]

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What do I do? I am about 3/4 done with my Sub-I in medicine, and I just don't like it. At first I thought it wasn't so bad, but esp when I am on call with no sleep, I am so angry and I feel like everyone knows I am irritated. The minutaie and pretenses and rounding have just gotten to me. Everything everyone does just pisses me off and I want out. This has never happened to me before, not even working 80+hrs on surgery.

So far the rotation has been going well, people like me and try to recruit me into IM. I would hate to ruin my eval, just need a coping mechanism to hold it together for another week and a half without snapping at everyone. HELP!

 

[ericdamiansean]

What do I do? I am about 3/4 done with my Sub-I in medicine, and I just don't like it. At first I thought it wasn't so bad, but esp when I am on call with no sleep, I am so angry and I feel like everyone knows I am irritated. The minutaie and pretenses and rounding have just gotten to me. Everything everyone does just pisses me off and I want out. This has never happened to me before, not even working 80+hrs on surgery.

So far the rotation has been going well, people like me and try to recruit me into IM. I would hate to ruin my eval, just need a coping mechanism to hold it together for another week and a half without snapping at everyone. HELP!

It happens, you get pissed off at nothing and snap at everyone, could be due to:
a) Boiled up sub-conscious emotions
b) Early signs of burning out (for starting on too strong) but unable to cope
c) There are alot of people whom you've been too nice to who are annoying (Although people in IM are generally nice, there are some pain in the a** as well)

My advice to you not only now but in the future, when you're not supposed to be in the hospital or if you have some time off, for example the weekends, stay away as far as you can from the hospital. Have some alone time, switch off your phone/pager. You'll feel alot better.

 

[carrigallen]

I think it may be less than optimal to be taking overnight call on a 4th year rotation, for three reasons:
1. Taking overnight calls q4 may lead to unexpected burn-out.
2. I think that the quality rather than quantity of interaction with your attendings is helpful for a good letter of recommendation.
3. You may retain and learn more from your rotation with a good sleep pattern.

 

[ChildNeuro]

What do I do? I am about 3/4 done with my Sub-I in medicine, and I just don't like it. At first I thought it wasn't so bad, but esp when I am on call with no sleep, I am so angry and I feel like everyone knows I am irritated. The minutaie and pretenses and rounding have just gotten to me. Everything everyone does just pisses me off and I want out. This has never happened to me before, not even working 80+hrs on surgery.

So far the rotation has been going well, people like me and try to recruit me into IM. I would hate to ruin my eval, just need a coping mechanism to hold it together for another week and a half without snapping at everyone. HELP!

Be glad that you are 75% done, if this is a regular 4 week subI then this must be your last week? Do you have to take more than 24 hr. call? It doesn't sound like the attendings or residents are attacking you, but you feel generally irritable even with little things. I'm not trying to pass judgment, or be sarcastic, but you should really consider perhaps seeking counciling via a Family Practice doctor or even psychiatrist who could prescribe an SSRI. Sometimes depression manifests as anger or irritability with little things, it does sound odd that you sound slightly hopeless with your subI alhtough it is almost over. . . Alot of medical students become depressed during clinical training, what you don't want to happen is find out that you feel the same way on your next elective, which may not be so demanding. Whatever the reason for your general irritability and fatigue with medicine, it is way better to fix it now then to let it build up. I would NOT recommend seeing a medical school appointed council/psychiatrist as they will and do blab everything to administrators, assume that you can only get confidential counciling by going to a psychiatrist without any affiliations to your med school. Keeping on ploughing through the rotation, watch a funny comedy if you have the time, and try to keep your perspective, this is only temporary.

 

[Hard24Get]

LOL, I'm not depressed, just sleep-deprived and not meant for IM. Call is usually 6am to 1pm the next day and peppered with social work issues and electrolyte & anticoagulant management. And I don't hae the IM personality. I just have gotten this far and want to get a good grade so I can match in EM as I am meant to, but I am not good at "fakin' the funk" and came on here looking for tips. I did just watch a comedy and it helped.

Be glad that you are 75% done, if this is a regular 4 week subI then this must be your last week? Do you have to take more than 24 hr. call? It doesn't sound like the attendings or residents are attacking you, but you feel generally irritable even with little things. I'm not trying to pass judgment, or be sarcastic, but you should really consider perhaps seeking counciling via a Family Practice doctor or even psychiatrist who could prescribe an SSRI. Sometimes depression manifests as anger or irritability with little things, it does sound odd that you sound slightly hopeless with your subI alhtough it is almost over. . . Alot of medical students become depressed during clinical training, what you don't want to happen is find out that you feel the same way on your next elective, which may not be so demanding. Whatever the reason for your general irritability and fatigue with medicine, it is way better to fix it now then to let it build up. I would NOT recommend seeing a medical school appointed council/psychiatrist as they will and do blab everything to administrators, assume that you can only get confidential counciling by going to a psychiatrist without any affiliations to your med school. Keeping on ploughing through the rotation, watch a funny comedy if you have the time, and try to keep your perspective, this is only temporary.

 

[DeLaughterDO]

LOL, I'm not depressed, just sleep-deprived and not meant for IM. Call is usually 6am to 1pm the next day and peppered with social work issues and electrolyte & anticoagulant management. And I don't hae the IM personality. I just have gotten this far and want to get a good grade so I can match in EM as I am meant to, but I am not good at "fakin' the funk" and came on here looking for tips. I did just watch a comedy and it helped.

Heck, with that avatar (and the hair on BeYonce in that avatar) I'd think you'd have monsta' "funk!"

About getting out the hate - sometimes on the way home from work, postcall, whenever, I'll roll up all the windows, blast some metallica/mudvayne/whatever metal music I'm listening to at the time and scream it out.

Also, watching really violent movies or playing violent video games helps me get out the aggression, anger, and frustration. I picture my patients/attendings/whoever gets under my skin as the victim of the wrath!!

Or, you could meditate, if you're the non-violent type 😀

jd

 

[DocOB]

Heck, with that avatar (and the hair on BeYonce in that avatar) I'd think you'd have monsta' "funk!"

About getting out the hate - sometimes on the way home from work, postcall, whenever, I'll roll up all the windows, blast some metallica/mudvayne/whatever metal music I'm listening to at the time and scream it out.

Also, watching really violent movies or playing violent video games helps me get out the aggression, anger, and frustration. I picture my patients/attendings/whoever gets under my skin as the victim of the wrath!!

Or, you could meditate, if you're the non-violent type 😀

jd

man, I can't wait until I get to where you guys are. 🙂

 

[ChildNeuro]

I think alot of medical students feel that IM is not for them because often times the residents and attendings waste alot of time talking about irrelevent topics not related to medicine when we have work to do! As a subI you are more within your rights to say that you need to get work done, and walk-out of a non-productive conversation. It helps pass time on a rotation if you think of your residents and attendings doing funny things. My favorite is that volleyball coach from what comedy I can't remember, but he says, "If you can learn to doge a wrench, then you can learn to dodge a ball" and throws it at one of the players who of course gets hit in the head and passes out. On some medicine rotations I like thinking the attending is is saying, "If you can learn to dodge a wrench, you can learn to be an intern" and then he/she pegs you with the wrench. heh heh

 

[VFTW]

It helps pass time on a rotation if you think of your residents and attendings doing funny things. My favorite is that volleyball coach from what comedy I can't remember, but he says, "If you can learn to doge a wrench, then you can learn to dodge a ball" and throws it at one of the players who of course gets hit in the head and passes out.

Just a shot in the dark here, uh... could the movie be Dodgeball?

 

[JPR22]

Im on a similar IM rotation now, and I feel the same way. By the shear number of patients I am learning alot, but the 14 hr days, and all the paperwork, social work nonsense issues are killing me. Its amazing how much of internal med really isnt related to medicine at all, more just getting stuff done.

 

[Celestron2000]

Yeah.

 

[Hard24Get]

I think alot of medical students feel that IM is not for them because often times the residents and attendings waste alot of time talking about irrelevent topics not related to medicine

Nah, my problem was that the work I had to do was unrelated to medicine, as JPR22 points out. I had no problem walking off or calling consults while they were standing around talking - who likes downtime at work, anyway (not me! 😀)

Yeah, that's why I hated my IM rotation, among various other reasons including an evil intern...

I thought I would choose IM, but now I know it sucks.
I don't think I like inpatient medicine in general.

Yup, everything just ain't for everybody. I just thank the lord that there something out there for each of us. I am in a great mood now 'cause I am free of my last med student IM rotation and have a break before starting my EM sub-I 😍.

When I saw this thread updated, I was like, "why was I angry?" 🙂