So, you didn't match at #1.

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tellme_areyoufree

tellme_areyoufree

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Last year I felt a stab of disappointment when I didn't match at my #1 program either. My heart was set on this program, for a lot of reasons, and I was kind of sure I would match there (foolishly). Don't get me wrong - I loved the other programs on my list, and part of me was just happy to match. But I felt like there was something special about my #1 that I would now be missing out on.

So, you didn't match at your #1 either, and today might be a weird mix of happy and sad.

That's ok. You can feel a little sad and mourn a little for the future you imagined.

Here's the good news: The program where you matched is SO excited to have you. I'm beside myself with excitement today to find out who is joining us. Whether you matched at #1 or #20, the place you matched wanted you badly enough to rank you above other incredibly highly qualified candidates they interviewed. Even if you're feeling down, I hope you'll take a moment to bask in that glory - that the program you matched with went all-in on you, over literally thousands of other applicants they could have interviewed and ranked, and it's ok to feel really, really proud of that.

After I matched at #3 on my list, life turned into kind of a rush of planning. Finding a new apartment in a new city, making moving arrangements, finishing up M4. To be honest, I didn't have a whole lot of time to dwell on my disappointment. I'm thankful beyond belief for that fact, because I think it kept me open to a building excitement and pride in my new program (which built up pretty quickly).

I ended up really thriving in my program. Before day one I was really scared that residency would be hard, that I would struggle, that I was going to go through a very trying time in life. F that noise. This has been a great time in my life, I've learned and grown a lot, and my co-residents have become some of my best friends (in addition to being people that I really admire on personal and professional levels).

So as I moved through intern year, I learned a few things. 1) I ended up at a way cushier program than my #1, with particularly cushy medicine months. Whatever, I'm happy about it, I won't lie. I might actually have struggled at my top program on my rank list. 2) I have an easier call schedule, I'm also happy about that and won't lie. 3) I didn't know what to ask in interview season, and if I had known it would have affected my rank list. I had a lot of pleasant surprises when I got here and figured out what actually really mattered. 4) Your co-residents might make or break your program (boy did I ever luck out on that). And, it can feel good to be part of "making" the program for everybody. 5) Everything moves by quickly (even the medicine months). That can be good or bad. I'm thankful that it's "bad" for me (in that I'm enjoying my time and wouldn't mind if it slowed down a little).

If I could go back, I'd rank this program #1. You may or may not end up feeling the same way, but I just hope you know that it's possible.

I wanted to make this post because I remembered feeling this weird tension between joy at matching, disappointment at not being #1, a bit of embarrassment at being wrong about where I would match, and kind of shame at being upset about all of that. Even though I knew the majority of people didn't match #1, I still felt sort of alone in those feelings. If you're in that weird space of feeling those things (and/or more feelings), I hope you're ok. If you want to chat about it, send me a message, or talk to other people who didn't match #1.

Oh and last but not least - I'm SO excited for you!
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I matched at ten. I love the program but the big betrayal here is that my home program passed me over.

It's really hard not to feel at least a little bitter over that even though I know I'll be fine...
 
MisterKitty said:
matched at my 9. hurts man
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NeuroKlitch said:
Same matched at my number 9/10 . So I guess In a sense should be kissing the ground that I matched! But i feel you man.
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ridethecliche said:
I matched at ten. I love the program but the big betrayal here is that my home program passed me over.

It's really hard not to feel at least a little bitter over that even though I know I'll be fine...
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OK to give yourself some room to hurt a little.

Still proud of you for matching, and for the exciting and successful careers ahead of you.
 
I pretended to be happy on Match Day, but was bitter and sad about landing mid-way down my list. Not even my #3 took me? Ouch, the rejection was rough.

At first, I wasn't thrilled with my program. The regret continued through PGY1, and lingered into PGY2, but I decided to work hard and make the best of it. I knew I was at a famous place that trained excellent residents. I worked my butt off, harder than ever. People started to notice. I got great evals and ended up in a top fellowship. Worked my butt off in fellowship. Graduated, didn't fully succeed at starting my own practice, but decided to make the best of it. Networked like crazy and landed 2 jobs. Worked my butt off there. Finally landed my dream job and feel blessed for how things ended up. I look back and think all that disappointment was for nothing. Nobody asked me where I went to residency. It was my hard work that got me to where I'm at. No matter how disappointed you may be, your hard work will get you where you want.
 
MisterKitty said:
matched at my 9. hurts man
Click to expand...

For everyone who is hurt that they matched 9/10 or not their top 5 or more than halfway down there list, look below you and you will feel more grateful.

I interviewed at 13 places, and got the "You did not match into ANY positions" email on Match Day.

Tried to SOAP into Peds, and got a call from a good program and their Associate PD, PD, Chair, Chief resident, Med/Peds director all interviewed me over 2 days. The PD calls on day before SOAP round one and says "Get some good sleep tonight, I think you will be "happy tomorrow." Round 1 comes, NO OFFER. Called the program, told me I was number TWO on their list and that also ended up filling, got nothing in Round 2..

At this point, I tried to get TRIs, and NOTHING, no calls, no interviews.

My boards are ABOVE AVG for matched applicant, and no I am NOT bad at interviewing. I am taking this as a part of my journey. There is nothing more I could have done and so I am content and not angry, sad, in shock, or in disbelief. To me, this is just a bump in the road so I am planning my next steps. Life happens. Sometimes we don't understand the wisdom behind the events that happen in our life, and sometimes we understand them years later. So we should trust the process and keep our heads up.

I thought i would share this. If my post makes any of you feel better about your situation, than I am happy. 🙂
 
@gainstAllOdds said:
For everyone who is hurt that they matched 9/10 or not their top 5 or more than halfway down there list, look below you and you will feel more grateful.

I interviewed at 13 places, and got the "You did not match into ANY positions" email on Match Day.

Tried to SOAP into Peds, and got a call from a good program and their Associate PD, PD, Chair, Chief resident, Med/Peds director all interviewed me over 2 days. The PD calls on day before SOAP round one and says "Get some good sleep tonight, I think you will be "happy tomorrow." Round 1 comes, NO OFFER. Called the program, told me I was number TWO on their list and that also ended up filling, got nothing in Round 2..

At this point, I tried to get TRIs, and NOTHING, no calls, no interviews.

My boards are ABOVE AVG for matched applicant, and no I am NOT bad at interviewing. I am taking this as a part of my journey. There is nothing more I could have done and so I am content and not angry, sad, in shock, or in disbelief. To me, this is just a bump in the road so I am planning my next steps. Life happens. Sometimes we don't understand the wisdom behind the events that happen in our life, and sometimes we understand them years later. So we should trust the process and keep our heads up.

I thought i would share this. If my post makes any of you feel better about your situation, than I am happy. 🙂
Click to expand...

This will only make you a better person and doctor and I have no doubt you’ll end up in psychiatry if that’s what you want.
 
tellme_areyoufree said:
Last year I felt a stab of disappointment when I didn't match at my #1 program either. My heart was set on this program, for a lot of reasons, and I was kind of sure I would match there (foolishly). Don't get me wrong - I loved the other programs on my list, and part of me was just happy to match. But I felt like there was something special about my #1 that I would now be missing out on.

So, you didn't match at your #1 either, and today might be a weird mix of happy and sad.

That's ok. You can feel a little sad and mourn a little for the future you imagined.

Here's the good news: The program where you matched is SO excited to have you. I'm beside myself with excitement today to find out who is joining us. Whether you matched at #1 or #20, the place you matched wanted you badly enough to rank you above other incredibly highly qualified candidates they interviewed. Even if you're feeling down, I hope you'll take a moment to bask in that glory - that the program you matched with went all-in on you, over literally thousands of other applicants they could have interviewed and ranked, and it's ok to feel really, really proud of that.

After I matched at #3 on my list, life turned into kind of a rush of planning. Finding a new apartment in a new city, making moving arrangements, finishing up M4. To be honest, I didn't have a whole lot of time to dwell on my disappointment. I'm thankful beyond belief for that fact, because I think it kept me open to a building excitement and pride in my new program (which built up pretty quickly).

I ended up really thriving in my program. Before day one I was really scared that residency would be hard, that I would struggle, that I was going to go through a very trying time in life. F that noise. This has been a great time in my life, I've learned and grown a lot, and my co-residents have become some of my best friends (in addition to being people that I really admire on personal and professional levels).

So as I moved through intern year, I learned a few things. 1) I ended up at a way cushier program than my #1, with particularly cushy medicine months. Whatever, I'm happy about it, I won't lie. I might actually have struggled at my top program on my rank list. 2) I have an easier call schedule, I'm also happy about that and won't lie. 3) I didn't know what to ask in interview season, and if I had known it would have affected my rank list. I had a lot of pleasant surprises when I got here and figured out what actually really mattered. 4) Your co-residents might make or break your program (boy did I ever luck out on that). And, it can feel good to be part of "making" the program for everybody. 5) Everything moves by quickly (even the medicine months). That can be good or bad. I'm thankful that it's "bad" for me (in that I'm enjoying my time and wouldn't mind if it slowed down a little).

If I could go back, I'd rank this program #1. You may or may not end up feeling the same way, but I just hope you know that it's possible.

I wanted to make this post because I remembered feeling this weird tension between joy at matching, disappointment at not being #1, a bit of embarrassment at being wrong about where I would match, and kind of shame at being upset about all of that. Even though I knew the majority of people didn't match #1, I still felt sort of alone in those feelings. If you're in that weird space of feeling those things (and/or more feelings), I hope you're ok. If you want to chat about it, send me a message, or talk to other people who didn't match #1.

Oh and last but not least - I'm SO excited for you!
Click to expand...


Thank you for writing this. Matched at my #4 and it has been a day of mixed emotions.
 
It’s hard to see now, but you will soon realize that 90% of how good a psychiatrist you will be coming out of residency is how much you put into it. There really is no secret sauce in any program.

Work hard. Ask a lot of thoughtful questions. Seek out the harder and unpleasant cases no one wants. Pick a favorite journal or two to read religiously and try to read every great article someone mentions in passing. Recognize a particular culture you’re drawn to and make yourself a passionate advocate. Recognize a category of patients that turns you off and learn more about them and how to empathize with them until you feel affinity. When someone’s mind, work, or personality resonates with you, adopt them as a mentor (explicitly). When you find that an aspect of psychiatry is particularly meaningful to you, learn as much as you can from the experts and realize that you with enough work, focus, and ingenuity that can one day be one of those experts and mentor future you’s.

With all of that hanging you over for the next four years, immediately identify three aspects about yourself you won’t let residency change. Immediately choose two hobbies that have nothing to do with medicine or psychiatry to continue to nourish for the next four years. If you have a spouse, partner, or special someone, immediately make a commitment to remind yourself to consider how this journey is affecting them at the end of every long or tough day and take small steps to mitigate and be present for them. Hug and love them liberally and allow yourself to be hugged and loved liberally. If you don’t have that special someone (yet), realize that they are out there and keep yourself emotionally available and remind yourself that you are worth it.

Before you know it, you’ll be saving lives and quality of lives. You’ll use your science, your creativity, and your compassion to do so. You’ll be well-paid and (with the right attitude) you’ll find the work mostly fulfilling and always meaningful.

You’re about to start an amazing adventure and regardless of where you matched or where on your list you matched, we are looking forward to having you as colleagues.
 
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@gainstAllOdds said:
For everyone who is hurt that they matched 9/10 or not their top 5 or more than halfway down there list, look below you and you will feel more grateful.

I interviewed at 13 places, and got the "You did not match into ANY positions" email on Match Day.

Tried to SOAP into Peds, and got a call from a good program and their Associate PD, PD, Chair, Chief resident, Med/Peds director all interviewed me over 2 days. The PD calls on day before SOAP round one and says "Get some good sleep tonight, I think you will be "happy tomorrow." Round 1 comes, NO OFFER. Called the program, told me I was number TWO on their list and that also ended up filling, got nothing in Round 2..

At this point, I tried to get TRIs, and NOTHING, no calls, no interviews.

My boards are ABOVE AVG for matched applicant, and no I am NOT bad at interviewing. I am taking this as a part of my journey. There is nothing more I could have done and so I am content and not angry, sad, in shock, or in disbelief. To me, this is just a bump in the road so I am planning my next steps. Life happens. Sometimes we don't understand the wisdom behind the events that happen in our life, and sometimes we understand them years later. So we should trust the process and keep our heads up.

I thought i would share this. If my post makes any of you feel better about your situation, than I am happy. 🙂
Click to expand...
is this the future?
 
@gainstAllOdds said:
For everyone who is hurt that they matched 9/10 or not their top 5 or more than halfway down there list, look below you and you will feel more grateful.

I interviewed at 13 places, and got the "You did not match into ANY positions" email on Match Day.

Tried to SOAP into Peds, and got a call from a good program and their Associate PD, PD, Chair, Chief resident, Med/Peds director all interviewed me over 2 days. The PD calls on day before SOAP round one and says "Get some good sleep tonight, I think you will be "happy tomorrow." Round 1 comes, NO OFFER. Called the program, told me I was number TWO on their list and that also ended up filling, got nothing in Round 2..

At this point, I tried to get TRIs, and NOTHING, no calls, no interviews.

My boards are ABOVE AVG for matched applicant, and no I am NOT bad at interviewing. I am taking this as a part of my journey. There is nothing more I could have done and so I am content and not angry, sad, in shock, or in disbelief. To me, this is just a bump in the road so I am planning my next steps. Life happens. Sometimes we don't understand the wisdom behind the events that happen in our life, and sometimes we understand them years later. So we should trust the process and keep our heads up.

I thought i would share this. If my post makes any of you feel better about your situation, than I am happy. 🙂
Click to expand...

Goodluck! You sound like a great person! Good karma your way for providing insight for people to help them be grateful. I hope you match in psych because you would be a great psychiatrist!
 
zoreo09 said:
Thank you for writing this. Matched at my #4 and it has been a day of mixed emotions.
Click to expand...

I matched at my #3 for residency and after 4 years I matched at my #1 for my child fellowship for 2019 (which coincidentally, was also my #1 for residency)! It sucks not getting #1 but so much of residency is what you make of it. Residency is residency and it will suck anywhere you go to some extent. You'll also have opportunities wherever you end up, and at the end of the day, you'll get to be a psychiatrist. Just soak in the few remaining months of being income-less and enjoy as much vacation as you can...
 
@gainstAllOdds said:
For everyone who is hurt that they matched 9/10 or not their top 5 or more than halfway down there list, look below you and you will feel more grateful.

I interviewed at 13 places, and got the "You did not match into ANY positions" email on Match Day.

Tried to SOAP into Peds, and got a call from a good program and their Associate PD, PD, Chair, Chief resident, Med/Peds director all interviewed me over 2 days. The PD calls on day before SOAP round one and says "Get some good sleep tonight, I think you will be "happy tomorrow." Round 1 comes, NO OFFER. Called the program, told me I was number TWO on their list and that also ended up filling, got nothing in Round 2..

At this point, I tried to get TRIs, and NOTHING, no calls, no interviews.

My boards are ABOVE AVG for matched applicant, and no I am NOT bad at interviewing. I am taking this as a part of my journey. There is nothing more I could have done and so I am content and not angry, sad, in shock, or in disbelief. To me, this is just a bump in the road so I am planning my next steps. Life happens. Sometimes we don't understand the wisdom behind the events that happen in our life, and sometimes we understand them years later. So we should trust the process and keep our heads up.

I thought i would share this. If my post makes any of you feel better about your situation, than I am happy. 🙂
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry. After med school I was very limited geographically and couldn't move (I was caring for my Grandma) and I could only apply to 3 programs. I sat out that year and volunteered at a free clinic . The next year I was still as limited and did a TRI because I was afraid not to match and the DO match was before the MD match. Following year I matched into my #3 choice. BUT for me the TRI made me realize I want to do FP. I knew it my first year of psych residency and didn't realize how hard it would be to get a second residency, so yes everything does happen for a reason. If I had matched into psych and not done the TRI I never would be applying for FP next year. Sometimes things just work out weird. And who knows, people get pregnant and decide not to start, have family issues, etc. something may open up. Good luck to you
 
MisterKitty said:
My #1 vs #3 would not be a huge disappointment and would likely provide similar training opportunities. But I matched at my 9th which is in an impoverished state with compartatively extremely limited mental health resources/understanding. Facilities are very rundown and limited to a couple floors in the regular medical hospital. Compared to having the opportunity to spend time at McLean, Menninger, and other recognized psychiatric facilities this is a massive f'ing let down. I understand I could have very well not matched but this also really blows, and I have no doubt it will affect my career trajectory
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I was specifically replying to the person who matched at their #4, but I had med school friends who matched at the bottom or near the the bottom of their rank lists. One of them got a super prestigious fellowship and will be staying in academia. It blows matching at #7,8,9, especially if your top was MGH, Baylor, UPMC, etc, but if you were good enough for your #1 to take you seriously enough as a candidate to interview you, then surely you can find opportunities during residency? Plus, if you really want to go somewhere fancy, there's always a fellowship.
 
@gainstAllOdds said:
For everyone who is hurt that they matched 9/10 or not their top 5 or more than halfway down there list, look below you and you will feel more grateful.

I interviewed at 13 places, and got the "You did not match into ANY positions" email on Match Day.

Tried to SOAP into Peds, and got a call from a good program and their Associate PD, PD, Chair, Chief resident, Med/Peds director all interviewed me over 2 days. The PD calls on day before SOAP round one and says "Get some good sleep tonight, I think you will be "happy tomorrow." Round 1 comes, NO OFFER. Called the program, told me I was number TWO on their list and that also ended up filling, got nothing in Round 2..

At this point, I tried to get TRIs, and NOTHING, no calls, no interviews.

My boards are ABOVE AVG for matched applicant, and no I am NOT bad at interviewing. I am taking this as a part of my journey. There is nothing more I could have done and so I am content and not angry, sad, in shock, or in disbelief. To me, this is just a bump in the road so I am planning my next steps. Life happens. Sometimes we don't understand the wisdom behind the events that happen in our life, and sometimes we understand them years later. So we should trust the process and keep our heads up.

I thought i would share this. If my post makes any of you feel better about your situation, than I am happy. 🙂
Click to expand...

i love your attitude! I hope things work out for you.
 
MisterKitty said:
Opportunities during residency will be tough to come by. Matched at home program so I have a pretty good idea about what is here. Home program is elated that I'm staying as they were sure I was heading somewhere "fancy". Really looking like it will be an uphill battle breaking into this tier of academia considering where I am heading at this point. Very surprised things worked out like this.
Click to expand...

I’m sorry you’re so disappointed. Considering you had some “fancy” places on your rank list, your application must have been quite impressive. Perhaps you can look into a transfer to a PGY-2 position after the first year? Some good programs such as Yale apparently keep a spot open (if you browse through SDN there are more programs mentioned who do this). I still think you can make the best out of the program you matched at, but perhaps the possibility of a transfer can diminish some of the despair and help you do well in your program next year.
 
PlasticBag said:
I’m sorry you’re so disappointed. Considering you had some “fancy” places on your rank list, your application must have been quite impressive. Perhaps you can look into a transfer to a PGY-2 position after the first year? Some good programs such as Yale apparently keep a spot open (if you browse through SDN there are more programs mentioned who do this). I still think you can make the best out of the program you matched at, but perhaps the possibility of a transfer can diminish some of the despair and help you do well in your program next year.
Click to expand...
Probably not going to apply for transfer. Just going to graciously accept my offer and make the most of it. I am extremely grateful that I have my home program as it is possible I would not have matched without them. Plus I would feel like a total jacka** if I tried to bail after one year. I’ll likely build as competitive of an application as possible and apply for fellowships. The rat race continues
 
Unless you get to a place where "fancy" means nothing and you have no academic ladders to climb, the rat race will always continue until retirement.
Hey Dreamer, top places don't make a habit of wasting their time by interviewing candidates they have no interest in. They also have no clue as to how the match will go and they also have to "interview widely" now days. This year it didn't happen, but if it were next year or last year, who knows?
 
I matched at my #5 on Friday. My top 3 were all top ten programs, one of which I did an away at and had been dreaming about for a long time (though upon getting there it wasn't all I had hopped for). I would have been really happy with any of my top 4, possibly because a large part of me still values prestige so highly. I'm happy to have matched, and best of all my program will allow me to be close to family in a location I consider great at a program I think is still strong so it's really a blessing. I'm proud of what I've accomplished, especially coming from essentially a no-rank USMD school. It still stings a bit though right now, especially seeing one of my classmates match at my #1. I was happy for him, and it made sense especially since he had a lot of history/connections to the institution but it still stung a bit. Hoping to make the most out of my program, the location and time with fam and maybe either land a prestigious CAP fellowship or go into psychoanalysis for my prestige fetish 😉
 
I'm also in the #5 club. Same story as some others here...my top 3 were also top programs and I fell into the trap of thinking that we were on a level playing field once offered interviews and didn't have my expectations properly calibrated. Lots of emotions since Match Day, including jealousy towards classmates who got their #1 and annoyance at my home program for telling me to kick rocks. I had to snooze their facebook page so I can stop seeing the "tears of joy"-type marketing photos they keep posting from our Match Day. Anyway, just wanted to say hey to the other future psychiatrists who didn't quite make it on to the podium at our ceremonies. Excited to be your colleague! Gonna make the most of my spot regardless of how I ended up there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
My only fear is that this is practically an unknown community residency program in New York City. Will this affect my ability to have a successful career in private practice or be able to work in hospitals/emergency psychiatry. I am not interested in academics .
 
NeuroKlitch said:
My only fear is that this is practically an unknown community residency program in New York City. Will this affect my ability to have a successful career in private practice or be able to work in hospitals/emergency psychiatry. I am not interested in academics .
Click to expand...

Nope
 
NeuroKlitch said:
My only fear is that this is practically an unknown community residency program in New York City. Will this affect my ability to have a successful career in private practice or be able to work in hospitals/emergency psychiatry. I am not interested in academics .
Click to expand...
Nope.
 
The OP's post is spot-on and good advice for those who thought they wanted one residency program and ended up with something else. It's really hard to know what's important and what you want/need in a residency program when you're an MS4. Programs are on their best behavior trying to sell themselves just like you are, and you don't always know what you don't know until it's too late. Anecdotally at least, most people seem to wind up liking the program they end up at even if it wasn't their top choice.

And the opposite can happen too. I matched to my top choice program (not psych), and I think my former PD would be the first to agree with me when I say that it was a horrible fit and I would have been a lot happier at a different program. As in, probably any of the other 16 programs on my rank list would have been better for me than the one I ranked first. There's no question that the education I received there was excellent, and in hindsight I am much more appreciative of how hard my program pushed me out of my comfort zone than I was able to be at the time. But despite the fact that I honestly believe that my training there made me an excellent doctor in the long run, it was also three of the most miserable years of my life, and I seriously considered dropping out of residency and even out of medicine altogether at several points along the way. The point being, sometimes not getting what you thought you wanted is a blessing, and sometimes getting exactly what you thought you wanted turns out to be a pretty mixed bag. And regardless, life is not a thought experiment where you can go back and keep doing replays to see how each possible outcome plays out. So the best thing to do is to have a good attitude about where you matched, look forward, and don't think about "what if." There is no "what if." There's only what is.
 
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