Social life in Medical School.

[introvert]

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Hi all,

I am going to be a MS1 for 2010 - 2011 school year. A main concern I have is establishing good relationships with my classmates/getting to know them well enough that they remember my name and can at least have a good conversation if I meet them on the streets.

I want to attend the several large group outings organized during orientation week to get to know my peers, but I am not very good at talking to new people. In undergrad, I have always been very shy with few 'friends', and I characterize myself as perhaps borderline socially awkward (yet socially in tune enough to hold a convo with my interviewer). Does anyone have advice to help me fix this?

So I am worried about the following:

How important is integrating yourself into your class? I don't want to be the loner on the weekend who doesn't go to bars with his med school peers, (only been to one once in college). Or is everyone too busy studying to do this?

Does it hurt if you don't really know a lot of your classmates? For example, I hear getting elected to AOA might mean your classmates vote for you, which means you have to be friends with a lot of people.

 

[swamprat]

suitable username

sorry i have nothing valuable to contribute. i would assume having friends is a good thing right? so go to social events and bull**** with people. talk about woman and nights you got wasted back in college. other than that, idk im also a soon to be ms-1...but i don't think you really need a medical student to tell you its better to have friends than to not.

 

[Random Anesthesiologist]

introvert,

Don't try to force interactions with others upon yourself if that makes you uncomfortable. When it comes time for the MS1 orientation and all the meet-n-greets, everyone will be eager to meet with everyone else, and it's very likely that just by showing up you'll have many people approach YOU.

I would say it's important to be friendly with your classmates - you will get to know many of them in some way in labs and classes. You could start off trying to get into a small study group and build your confidence there.

Just to give you an idea, I'm a non-trad student, who barely went to class. Most weekends I traveled home to my SO 3 hours away and didn't hang out with the class. I still got to know most of my classmates enough to say "hello" if I saw them! Retrospectively, I think I would have liked to join a study group, and that's something I will be working on next year.

Good luck - really, don't sweat it too much.

 

[Perrotfish]

Hi all,

I am going to be a MS1 for 2010 - 2011 school year. A main concern I have is establishing good relationships with my classmates/getting to know them well enough that they remember my name and can at least have a good conversation if I meet them on the streets.

I want to attend the several large group outings organized during orientation week to get to know my peers, but I am not very good at talking to new people. In undergrad, I have always been very shy with few 'friends', and I characterize myself as perhaps borderline socially awkward (yet socially in tune enough to hold a convo with my interviewer). Does anyone have advice to help me fix this?

So I am worried about the following:

How important is integrating yourself into your class? I don't want to be the loner on the weekend who doesn't go to bars with his med school peers, (only been to one once in college). Or is everyone too busy studying to do this?

Does it hurt if you don't really know a lot of your classmates? For example, I hear getting elected to AOA might mean your classmates vote for you, which means you have to be friends with a lot of people.

This is a good reason to seek out counciling with a psychologist, maybe paired with medication if (s)he recommends it. Treatment for an avoidant personality has a very high success rate, and a lot of your peers will have been through the same treatment. It doesn't sound like you're akward, akward people are the ones who aren't shy and cause everyone else to run away. Considering that you' do well in a high pressure conversation like an interview that doesn't sound like you. You just sound shy. Shy is fixable.

BTW AOA isn't generally voted on and you wouldn't be the only loner in medical school if that's what you wanted to be, but if that's not what you want (and its pretty clear from your comments that you want to be social) then there is no reason not to live the life that you would enjoy living.

 

[DaisyBuchanan]

I'd say to definitely go to the social events! I think med schools go for a diversity of personalities as well as a diversity of backgrounds etc. Trust me, if I saw someone looking uncomfortable at a meet-and-greet, I'd definitely go talk to them. Also, med school classes are tiny in comparison to many college classes. You'll have no choice but to build close relationships with many of your classmates.

Enjoy your time in med school as much as you can, worry about the material, not the kids! 🙂

 

[red10]

instead of worry about what to say or if you're being w/e enough, listen to people, ask them questions about themselves and actually attempt to get to know them. People usually like talking about themselves.
once you stop focusing on what you're doing right or wrong and start focusing on what the other person is saying, you'll not only be able to relax but you'll also be able to make friends.

 

[MB333999]

Buddy you are my target market for this iPhone app i'm developing!!!

you basically shake your iphone and a conversation topic pops up

hopeuflly i'll get it done by the end of the summer, check the app store then only $0.99 to be socially accepted!!

on a more serious note, i think its critical to make friends both with your classmates and outside of med school. you will be happier. and im sure you want to be happy 🙂

 

[WholeLottaGame7]

This is a good reason to seek out counciling with a psychologist, maybe paired with medication if (s)he recommends it. Treatment for an avoidant personality has a very high success rate, and a lot of your peers will have been through the same treatment. It doesn't sound like you're akward, akward people are the ones who aren't shy and cause everyone else to run away. Considering that you' do well in a high pressure conversation like an interview that doesn't sound like you. You just sound shy. Shy is fixable.

BTW AOA isn't generally voted on and you wouldn't be the only loner in medical school if that's what you wanted to be, but if that's not what you want (and its pretty clear from your comments that you want to be social) then there is no reason not to live the life that you would enjoy living.

Our school voted on AOA, but regardless, that's not a great reason to decide to be social. As others have mentioned, it's not something you should really force if you don't want to. But it kind of does sound like you WANT to be social, though, which is a good step. Fortunately, there is an easily available medication available to all these social events, and it goes by the name of EtOH.

Trust me, I hate forced social interactions as much as anyone. They feel so...forced. I think the best bet is to go out as much as possible the first couple weeks, see if you connect with anybody, and go from there. If you do, awesome, if not, no biggie, you will have plenty of opportunities to interact in small group/rotations where people will at least learn your name even if you don't become buddies.

 

[RedSHIFT]

keg standing will get you plenty of friends, ladies, and fame.

 

[nmbutah]

This is a good reason to seek out counciling with a psychologist, maybe paired with medication if (s)he recommends it. Treatment for an avoidant personality has a very high success rate, and a lot of your peers will have been through the same treatment. It doesn't sound like you're akward, akward people are the ones who aren't shy and cause everyone else to run away. Considering that you' do well in a high pressure conversation like an interview that doesn't sound like you. You just sound shy. Shy is fixable.

BTW AOA isn't generally voted on and you wouldn't be the only loner in medical school if that's what you wanted to be, but if that's not what you want (and its pretty clear from your comments that you want to be social) then there is no reason not to live the life that you would enjoy living.

I just have to say I strongly disagree with this, introversion is not a disease! extroverts are uncomfortable with introverts because they don't understand/misread shyness. I'd say be comfortable with who you are. be social when you want to be social, but feel free to be introverted when you need to recharge. I identify as introverted too, and I've found that despite my worries, I've always had a good group of friends around me. things work out, relax and love yourself. the rest takes care of itsself

 

[Caesar]

Just go to the events. I am fairly shy myself in large groups, but you A. won't be the only introvert and B. will have plenty of people who want to talk to you. A simple hello and a handshake with a "my name is ____" works wonders, and its virtually impossible to embarrass yourself doing that.

 

[airplanes]

Orientation activities always involve the entire class, so its up to you whether or not you want to get out there. Usually, someone will also organize class get togethers after tests and what not and extend the invite to everyone. You won't be alone if you don't want to. Loosen up, have some fun, be yourself. If you think you're "different" than everyone else, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Everybody can make friends if they try.

 

[Perrotfish]

I just have to say I strongly disagree with this, introversion is not a disease! extroverts are uncomfortable with introverts because they don't understand/misread shyness. I'd say be comfortable with who you are. be social when you want to be social, but feel free to be introverted when you need to recharge. I identify as introverted too, and I've found that despite my worries, I've always had a good group of friends around me. things work out, relax and love yourself. the rest takes care of itsself

Introversion is not a disease if you want to be an introvert. If you just feel more comfortable alone and find other people annoying at most times then you should be a loner and there's nothing wrong with that. However shyness is a disorder, and a very treatable one. If you avoid social situations because you're sure that everyone will judge you as akward/strange, if you want friends but just feel like you don't know how to go about getting them and generally get very anxious whenever you try, well then I think you should seek out help because this is something that psychology has had a lot of success with. As I said, there's no reason to spend your life like that unless you want to

 

[Law2Doc]

Orientation activities always involve the entire class, so its up to you whether or not you want to get out there. Usually, someone will also organize class get togethers after tests and what not and extend the invite to everyone. You won't be alone if you don't want to. Loosen up, have some fun, be yourself. If you think you're "different" than everyone else, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Everybody can make friends if they try.

Everyone gets the emails, but that doesn't mean much. You really got to "bust a move". Go to the orientation events, where nobody knows everybody yet, and meet and shmooze with everyone. Approach folks early to see if they want to be in your anatomy group/study group. Be the cruise director type who grabs a bunch of people to go to a restaurant before the scheduled orientation event. I totally disagree with the folks who say "don't force yourself" to be social. Nobody is going to seek you out to be your friend/study group member/anatomy group member. Med school can be a very lonely place if you don't get out there and do stuff with people when you have "free" time. After the first couple of weeks, folks will be in serious study mode, some will stop going to class, and the invites for class-wide get togethers will only come for post-exam parties, which are few and far between. So before that it pays to be as gregarious and social as you can possibly be, even if it's against your nature. You need to put yourself out there or yes, you probably will be the forgotten man/woman who people see in the class picture and wonder who the heck that is.

 

[mdeast]

You'll be fine. Most people will be in the same position as you. They'll know nobody and be seeking out new friends. I'd say that this is definitely a problem you need to get over though. Beyond normal friendship/social interaction, the best doctors are those that can connect with their positions. Being happy and sociable outside of the clinic will probably make you a better physician in the hospital.