Social Skills

[spiderman888]

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I have been getting waitlisted post interview at several schools despite high stats. I wanted to know how I should build my social skills and conversational ability. Should I read a book, get a minimum wage job, or just do mock interviews?

 

[Boolean]

I have been getting waitlisted post interview at several schools despite high stats. I wanted to know how I should build my social skills and conversational ability. Should I read a book, get a minimum wage job, or just do mock interviews?

Mock interviews are a great way. If you can, take a course on public speaking, or just watch YouTube videos on the topic (but follow through!) You'd be amazed how vital as of a skill it is (even just in a conversational setting, as you've mentioned)

 

[muddyduck7]

Just read any of the threads started by streampaw... Do not ever think or say anything that she has said, and you will be well on your way...

In all seriousness, mock interviews are probably the best way. Now that I am on the other side and am interviewing applicants I can give you the following pointers. Make sure to make eye contact, smile and keep your answers concise. While I love to ramble as much as the next guy, it can get pretty damn annoying from an interviewer's perspective. Don't talk just to fill silence.

 

[Boolean]

Just read any of the threads started by streampaw... Do not ever think or say anything that she has said, and you will be well on your way...

In all seriousness, mock interviews are probably the best way. Now that I am on the other side and am interviewing applicants I can give you the following pointers. Make sure to make eye contact, smile and keep your answers concise. While I love to ramble as much as the next guy, it can get pretty damn annoying from an interviewer's perspective. Don't talk just to fill silence.

How do you feel when interviewees redirect the question? Say they get stuck in a predicament where their answer to the question isn't quite the best one, but they choose to rephrase it in a way that they can better answer. As an interviewer, do you dislike this practice? Is this something that you've come to expect?

 

[muddyduck7]

How do you feel when interviewees redirect the question? Say they get stuck in a predicament where their answer to the question isn't quite the best one, but they choose to rephrase it in a way that they can better answer. As an interviewer, do you dislike this practice? Is this something that you've come to expect?

I think it is to be expected to a certain extent. At times, it can feel kind of ridiculous to ask certain questions (e.g. tell me about a time when...), but the questions still need to be asked. Other times, I will ask an intentionally open ended question expecting the interviewee to take it in whatever direction they want to, only to have them fumble over the ambiguity of the question.

In essence, the interviewer likely has a set of criteria through which they will evaluate the interviewee. Any question asked will likely be an attempt to probe one of those criteria. Say that I were to ask you about a time that you have worked in a team. You can be pretty damn well sure that "teamwork" is one of those criteria. Thus my advice would be to keep in mind what the question is probably evaluating, and to realize that you have an opportunity to make a strong impression. Fumbling over the question / avoiding the question is really a missed opportunity.

In addition, some interviews will be pretty rigid in their duration. In those instances, long rambling answers may actually prevent your interviewer from asking questions that probe other facets of your application.

 

[Boolean]

I think it is to be expected to a certain extent. At times, it can feel kind of ridiculous to ask certain questions (e.g. tell me about a time when...), but the questions still need to be asked. Other times, I will ask an intentionally open ended question expecting the interviewee to take it in whatever direction they want to, only to have them fumble over the ambiguity of the question.

In essence, the interviewer likely has a set of criteria through which they will evaluate the interviewee. Any question asked will likely be an attempt to probe one of those criteria. Say that I were to ask you about a time that you have worked in a team. You can be pretty damn well sure that "teamwork" is one of those criteria. Thus my advice would be to keep in mind what the question is probably evaluating, and to realize that you have an opportunity to make a strong impression. Fumbling over the question / avoiding the question is really a missed opportunity.

In addition, some interviews will be pretty rigid in their duration. In those instances, long rambling answers may actually prevent your interviewer from asking questions that probe other facets of your application.

Thank you for your detailed answer. Much appreciated 🙂
Say for instance, you are answering a teamwork-style interview question. Do you feel it is better to use a stronger yet less directly correlated to medicine instance, or one that is moreso related to medicine, but perhaps a tad bit weaker?

Sorry if that's a bit vague.

Once again, thank you for answering. I really appreciate it.

 

[muddyduck7]

Thank you for your detailed answer. Much appreciated 🙂
Say for instance, you are answering a teamwork-style interview question. Do you feel it is better to use a stronger yet less directly correlated to medicine instance, or one that is moreso related to medicine, but perhaps a tad bit weaker?

Sorry if that's a bit vague.

Once again, thank you for answering. I really appreciate it.

Stronger, less correlated to medicine example. You can be pretty certain of your interviewer's ability for abstraction. Demonstrate an example of strong teamwork, and we can make the connection to how it would apply in medicine... Same thing for leadership / other attributes.

Feel free to PM me about any other questions

Also, take everything I say with a grain of salt. You may encounter interviewers that feel otherwise...

 

[Boolean]

Stronger, less correlated to medicine example. You can be pretty certain of your interviewer's ability for abstraction. Demonstrate an example of strong teamwork, and we can make the connection to how it would apply in medicine... Same thing for leadership / other attributes.

Feel free to PM me about any other questions

Will do. Thank you once again!

 

[Gene Parmesan]

"Learning" social skills is somewhat difficult. When you get to the point of analyzing a social interaction and devising strategies for how to converse with someone, it just doesn't feel natural. I wish I had better advice than "just talk to a lot of people." I was really awkward back in high school, but as I got older and went to college things improved. Try to meet and talk to a lot of people, perhaps through your extracurricular activities. I know that working as a medical screener at a free clinic really helped build my social skills by chatting with people who were very different than me.

 

[Redpancreas]

You seem to think that you're socially lesser by the way you worded this. I strongly discourage this sentiment. Social skills are so subjective. I would say don't really try any sort of didactic training. Just gain confidence and find something to make yourself less nervous. As I said with subjectivity, what brings joy to one person may piss another off. Just be polite, sensitive, a good listener and passionate. As an example, I have been called for a third interview at one school and I could tell the interviewer didn't like my personality. However, at another school, I had the opposite situation and I was told I was a perfect fit for the school. Keep trying!

 

[Redpancreas]

"Learning" social skills is somewhat difficult. When you get to the point of analyzing a social interaction and devising strategies for how to converse with someone, it just doesn't feel natural. I wish I had better advice than "just talk to a lot of people." I was really awkward back in high school, but as I got older and went to college things improved. Try to meet and talk to a lot of people, perhaps through your extracurricular activities. I know that working as a medical screener at a free clinic really helped build my social skills by chatting with people who were very different than me.

This is good advice too, but keep in mind that now is not the time to start doubting yourself. If you're not the smoothest person in the world today, you're not going going to be anytime soon. This transition takes a lot of time. I feel a lot people claim that sociability is a highly objective measure and that some people (the ones that they're jealous of) don't 'have' social skills. I think that confidence is the key. As long as you're not arrogant, being confident will do a lot of things. It will allow you to look in the eyes of your interviewer properly. It will also allow you to sell yourself in a passionate and thus positive manner. It can even be a subconscious indicator of how sincere you are. You could be the most sincere and passionate person but unless you have the confidence to convey it properly, it will remain unexpressed and then you'll get all these stupid ideas about how you're supposedly unsocial or something else?

Do you feel happiness, sadness, pain, etc. on a regular basis? If so, you're probably ok socially. Just work on the confidence 🙂

 

[DaenarysDuhh]

Can you give a little more context on what seems to be breaking down in your interview? You went from stating that you have gotten waitlisted to assuming it's about your social skills and conversational ability. What did you notice in the interview that led you to that conclusion? Try to be specific!