Some inspiration from people that struggled while in school?

[alysp13751]

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Ok, so long story short, last year I was in my first year but I took a leave of absence during the second semester. That is, first semester completed and second semester pending. I have come back to complete the second semester and of course my mind is playing tricks: are you ready to stand the pressure? you probably forgot how to study, will you be able to give what it takes etc First semester I got good grades, but my situation is a little different than all of you. I am not in the US, Im european, here ppl start med school at 18. I am 22 now and obviously still in first year which to be honest does my head in, because I am much older than anybody else and instead of being the most mature and better at copying with pressure and self confidence I am the worst. Moreover, when I was 17 I had an eating disorder, which i still struggle with but thats another story. point is, my grades suffered, my school attendance suffered and I did not get into med school at 18. I got into pharmacy which I hated and I quit. Then volunteered for 3 years and travelled and at 21 I got into med. The school I go to is not hard to get in, but is hard to stay in, meaning there are incredible amounts of ppl failing it, something you would never see in normal schools. I am going to transfer back to my country in the 3rd year because the universities there are state fund and to have my family near me.

Cliffs:
-Did first semester of first year, went back home and paused my studies, came back to do the second semester of first year now.
-Problem is Im scared ****less about not being able to cope with the workload and the pressure and feeling worried about not having good basic knowledge.
-First semester I got good grades but I am scared after not studying for so long.
-Please, can someone share their stories of school not going as smoothly as expected with them and still making it through?

/Sorry for the rant, just moved back to this country and my friends are all back home till school starts in a week, forever alone

 

[tryp]

Well, in my case, I went to university at 18 and due to the compounded effect of childhood trauma, adult trauma and probably some sort of biological predisposition, I developed crushing depression and I had to drop out of a whole bunch of classes. It took me years and years to get even a little bit of control over the depression and I still don't have it 100% under wraps - I had to take a lot of incompletes and deferred exams and there were certainly times when I KNOW I could have gotten a better mark if I hadn't been so horribly depressed.

But I pushed through it and I am in medical school now and doing well. It's a major cliche, but I tell myself that all of my struggles will make me a better doctor than I would have been otherwise. Stay strong and carry on!

 

[alysp13751]

It is really nice to hear that I am not the only one, and that other people still make it regardless of what other things are going on in their life. I started going to the free counseling system my school offers yesterday, and while I found the psychiatrist really cool and easy to talk to, he is focusing too much on the eating disorder part. I mean, he is a phd student and when I briefly mentioned anorexia as one of the things why my grades went down, he literally got super happy lol because that is what he is doing his research on and I guess most ppl go there with problems to concentrate and panic attacks etc so all hes doing so far is focusing on my eating patterns, so next time im going to bring up what other things I want to talk about.
More ppl share their struggles plz, I would never ever talk about these things with classmates, one girl fainted before and exam and everyone was laughing and saying she should not be a doctor if she cant stand the pressure, when in fact shes a really good student, so after that, def not showing any weakness apart from the counseling which will not even show in my student records and is confidential

 

[tryp]

Counselling isn't a weakness, it's actually a really smart idea. The people who don't make it are the ones who have a problem but don't ask for help and end up spiralling out of control.

Probably as the counselling goes on the other issues will be explored - I mean, you have to start somewhere.

 

[alysp13751]

Yea, the reason why I took the initiative to go to counseling was because if I had gone last year, I would not have taken a leave of absence most likely. This is the first time that I am going willingly so I think it will help, previous times were when I was younger and basically forced by parents and I thought I was fine.
I dont know how ppl in your school are, but as I said my school is relatively easy to get into and then hard to stay in, so what everybody is talking about is who will be the next to quit, or fail or be kicked out, so I rather not talk about my issues with friends from school, plus everyone is feeling the strain and pressure, if the little free time we have Im a downer, nobody will appreciate it.

 

[herkyMD]

So I'm currently an M2 and getting ready to take boards in June and I had some problems first year. I literally passed anatomy by 9 points, passed physiology by less and was seriously looking at other career opportunities on multiple occasions. I had a lot of problems trying to focus while studying and even got checked out for any learning disabilities. I did well in undergrad without putting forth much effort and didn't have good study habits at all and it really showed in my first year; HOWEVER, I made it through by the skin of my teeth. Needless to say it was a roller coaster ride. Second year came around and I really decided I was going to put forth the effort and figure out how to make this work. I'm still going strong and trying to get in the mind set to redeem myself on boards. So this part was really just to show you that it's not just you.

The real moral of this story is that med school sucks and you just gotta do what you gotta do. Don't lose the faith and just keep chugging along. Despite everyone in your class seeming very confident and seemingly doing well, I bet half of them have had an OH **** moment or two in med school and they just aren't letting on. It happens to a lot of people. Going from big fish to a guppy. It's really humbling (at least it was for me) but it'll make you more prepared for the rest of the crap you have to wade through. Good luck.

 

[alysp13751]

Thank you for posting, it helps reading that other ppl have gone through a similar thing and it wasnt all great.

 

[ruiner]

22 is young (sorry misread at first. but overall, 22 is still young)

 

[alysp13751]

22 is young (sorry misread at first. but overall, 22 is still young)

22 is young in your system, in mine is ****ing old, you graduate at 24 and start at 18