Sometimes it's the simple things that get you . . .

[eventualeventer]

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Or, part of why I'm a large animal person -- I do better with dead horses than dead cats.

Tonight, I helped with the work-up on three colics, the second of which was euthanized. She was euthanized in the drop stall and dragged on a dolly down the aisle outside, then I helped one of the research doctors harvest some tendon for an experiment. It took us a little while to get the forklift positioned just right to pick her up and then maneuver her into the cooler, but it didn't bother me -- it almost never does.

Then, when I was almost home, I drove past a little black-and-white cat lying in the middle of an intersection. The roads were empty, and I turned around and parked the car. I couldn't bear to leave him(her?) there for more cars to hit in the morning rush. Surprised by how warm the body was, I checked the corneal reflex. I laid him/her in the grass at the edge of the road, and cried when I got home. That was someone's little kitty.

Sorry for going on. Maybe it's just fatigue after a long night, but the random little things get me more than the situations at work that you'd think would be upsetting.

 

[athane960]

I completely understand! While I love working with all animals, I have always leaned more towards picking large animals for my rotations because I get a little too emotional when working with small animals. Whether it be euthanizing them, trying to save their lives, dealing with ignorant owners, or dealing with straight out abuse. While we need to be compassionate, we need some kind of clinical detachment to do what vets do on a daily basis.

 

[oregonhopeful]

I hit and killed deer on my way to town the other day. Never in a million years would I have expected my reaction. I had to pull over to blubber. But I'm a farmer and sheep die if you look at them crosseyed so I'm largely used to death. Somehow, probably because I caused it by accident, this was way worse.

 

[EqSci]

I hit a baby bear once. I sobbed hysterically all the way to Walmart and all the way home. It still upsets me, and this was years ago. I definitely agree it's being the cause of an unplanned death that makes it so hard.

As far as large animal vs. small animal, I couldn't handle doing small animal. Not because I'm more emotional, but because I'm more irritated with owners. I can't STAND irresponsible breeding, extremely obese dogs and cats whose owners think they are just spoiling them (IMO obesity is just as much abuse as starvation), flea-infested animals in which the owner has no clue, etc. etc. Yes, you get all of that in the horse world too, but to a much lesser extent. Being a small animal vet would mentally drain me all the time - I wouldn't be able to handle it.

 

[cubs11]

i had never hit an animal, until two weeks ago (in one day) i hit two birds. i tried to remain composed but failed miserably. i felt like such a horrible person. 🙁

 

[david594]

I hit a deer a couple years ago and I am sure I shed a tear. A fender, 2 headlights, a bumper and a hood later..... I am still pissed at that deer. Live and learn. If it ever happens again I am pulling my car over and finding that deer. Next time I will take it with me and at least be eating venison for the next month. 🙂

I dont feel bad. I was driving the speed limit and the deer was apparently suicidal. It jumped a guardrail right in front of my car practically landing on my hood.

 

[cwazy cat lady]

I went to Scotland recently and right outside of Edinburgh on the main roads I saw so much roadkill. It really bothered me! Birds galore and a cat. The cats are what choke me up. I thought it was because I am such a cat nut, but maybe it is a wider experience. As the OP said, you know that was someone's pet. I think I would be absolutely devastated if I found one of my cats lying on the side of the road. The image of it would haunt me forever.

I haven't ever hit anything yet, although a deer did jump out right in front of our rental car on this very same trip. I definitely lost my breath for a several seconds because I could see every detail of this young stag. He was gorgeous and he could have killed us (and himself).

The worst roadkill by far that I have ever seen was in the Czech Republic. The little regional roads have stiff dead cats all over the place. It's horrendous. Clearly they got hit often, but it also appeared that no one ever claimed them or cared to remove their bodies. It was disturbing.

As for large animals, I don't know. I haven't had to deal with the death of any, really. None died while I was shadowing the large vet. Maybe that was just luck! i do know that I am not as 'in tuned' to horses... not enough time spent with them.

 

[aspiringDVM]

When I was four years old my cat got hit by a car, and I still remember wondering why my Dad was stopping at the end of the driveway, then looking out the car window and seeing my kitty lying in a bloody heap next to the mailbox. So that's what I think of every time I see a HBC pet, and it makes me teary every time.
Not only do you have to deal with the horrible accidental death of an animal, you feel compassion and empathy for their owner too.

 

[cwazy cat lady]

When I was four years old my cat got hit by a car, and I still remember wondering why my Dad was stopping at the end of the driveway, then looking out the car window and seeing my kitty lying in a bloody heap next to the mailbox. So that's what I think of every time I see a HBC pet, and it makes me teary every time.
Not only do you have to deal with the horrible accidental death of an animal, you feel compassion and empathy for their owner too.

I'm so sorry you had to experience that. 🙁
Awful...

 

[ckd816]

I hit a deer a couple years ago and I am sure I shed a tear. A fender, 2 headlights, a bumper and a hood later..... I am still pissed at that deer. Live and learn. If it ever happens again I am pulling my car over and finding that deer. Next time I will take it with me and at least be eating venison for the next month. 🙂

I dont feel bad. I was driving the speed limit and the deer was apparently suicidal. It jumped a guardrail right in front of my car practically landing on my hood.

I've got to say that I find the differing male and female opinions on this subject entertaining! I think I would be mad at the deer for screwing up my car as well, but at the end of the day I think the death of a living thing would bother me more than damage to a material possession.

 

[1Vista1Grey]

This is why small animal med is a tough field to go into. I think I am pretty composed when it comes to euthanasia, even when I know the animal very well. But once I had to hold off for a euthanasia on a doberman (I an a dobe owner) with cancer. It was like I was putting my own dog to sleep. I knew the dog pretty well, he was only 4 and I would always compare notes with the owner. It was rough. My clinic ended up buying me a sympathy card at the end of the day, even though it wasnt my dog.

 

[eventualeventer]

To clarify, I didn't hit the cat myself, just found it and removed it from the middle of the road. It didn't look very beat up, so at least if the owner finds it they will be spared seeing tire tracks or anything like that.

AspiringDVM, that's awful! I'm sorry you had to see that, especially at such a young age. 🙁

I was hit by a deer a couple years ago -- it did minor damage to the car but totalled the deer. I am a bit sad, too, to see a dead deer on the side of the road, but I just don't feel that closeness to the deer that rips my heart out like with a cat.

Cwazy cat lady, what doesn't make sense to me is that I've been around horses forever, lost/PTS a number of patients, and lost two horses that I loved, but I still feel like I'm more detached with horses than cats. I do cry or at least feel it more when I spend a lot of time with the owners, or if I've known the horse for a long time, so maybe it's a matter of knowing that death is usually the best thing for the horse. I guess emotions tend not to make much sense, though.

 

[SvartaRosa]

A bird flew into my windshield once. It was the first time I had ever hit anything. I sobbed for the rest of the day.

 

[VeganChick]

When I first started working at the emergency hospital I am at, the first euthanasia I saw was a saddle thrombus kitty. I've had my own pets euthanized, but that was the first time I had ever seen an animal come in clearly in pain and distress, and need to be pts right then and there. Since then, every time we get a saddle thrombus cat in, I am completely torn up and always end up crying.

 

[philomycus]

My severe weak spot is for kitties. Always has been, always will be.

 

[incendium04]

The animals that need the euth due to pain or quality of life I am usually fine with. It's when the issue is the comfort or money of the owner. Had a young beautiful golden come in 3 days after a dog fight with all metatarsals broken on a hind leg. The breeder put her down because the expense was too much (several hundred). 🙁 It was a very hard euth for me. However, what made a lot of people feel better was this dog had a horrendous heart murmur. The breeder was not known for selectivity of breeding stock....