Stalking experiences?

[Rivi]

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Hello everyone,

While doing research on stalking amongst college students, I stumbled across multiple articles on patients/clients stalking healthcare professionals. I saw prevalance rates from 5-40% (amongst psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychiatric nurses). I wondered what everyone's thoughts are on this issue? Has anyone here had any experiences or knew of anyone that was stalked by former patients/clients? Also, what, if any, safeguards do you guys take (private facebook, unlisted address, etc.) to protect your privacy?


Gentile, S. R., Asamen, J. K., Harmell, P. H., & Weathers, R. (2002). The stalking of psychologists by their clients. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 33(5), 490-494. doi:10.1037/0735-7028.33.5.490
Mental health nurses targeted by stalkers. (2006). Nursing Standard, 20(46), 8. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.
Romans, J. C., & Hays, J. R. (1996). Stalking and related behaviors experienced by counseling center staff members from current or.. Professional Psychology, Research & Practice, 27(6), 595. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.

 

[deleted106747]

I have never been stalked, nor known anyone who has been stalked. I might be naive, but I think some of the fear of this is related to the fear of the mentally ill. Of course, we do know our patients on a more intimate level than, say, a dermatologist probably does. So maybe that makes it more likely. I'm sure others will chime in with stalking stories, but I've never seen it happen since I began school a million years ago. That being said, I would be very upset if my home address appeared online!

 

[PerhapsMaybeOk]

real life stalking? Not so much. Online stalking? Hell yes.

Avoid this by having pseudonyms on things like facebook and keeping it professional.

Fun times.

 

[DrGachet]

It hasn't happened to me though I am more on the research side of things, and I live in a nice part of the city and doctors working with me deal with YAVIS anyways.

If I have to speculate, I'd say it depends on where you live/practice, the sort of disorders you treat (e.g. addiction) and the severity (psychosis vs neurosis), and excuse my French, how much of an ASS you are to people. If you are generally a kind and sympathetic person, inflicting a major narcissistic injury or dashing the hopes of a patient in a real helpless position, are things that could recover from.

But I know a particularly narcissistic psychiatrist who has such dismissive attitude towards his patients, and he seems constantly surprised when they leave his office either swearing at him or in tears. Though he is an accomplished doctor and usually right on the money, I always wonder if he could learn more compassion and how to build better rapport with his patients. But then again, I don't deal with the sort of people he sees. Then again, it's HIS Boxster getting keyed regularly, not mine.

 

[cara susanna]

I made myself unsearchable on Facebook. Not that I'm sure if anyone's ever tried to look me up, mind you.

 

[SingingCow]

It hasn't happened to me though I am more on the research side of things, and I live in a nice part of the city and doctors working with me deal with YAVIS anyways.

If I have to speculate, I'd say it depends on where you live/practice, the sort of disorders you treat (e.g. addiction) and the severity (psychosis vs neurosis), and excuse my French, how much of an ASS you are to people. If you are generally a kind and sympathetic person, inflicting a major narcissistic injury or dashing the hopes of a patient in a real helpless position, are things that could recover from.

But I know a particularly narcissistic psychiatrist who has such dismissive attitude towards his patients, and he seems constantly surprised when they leave his office either swearing at him or in tears. Though he is an accomplished doctor and usually right on the money, I always wonder if he could learn more compassion and how to build better rapport with his patients. But then again, I don't deal with the sort of people he sees. Then again, it's HIS Boxster getting keyed regularly, not mine.

The mental health professionals (clinical social worker, MFT, and psychiatrist) I know who have been stalked happen to be kind, compassionate people well liked by their clients/patients. So, it's not about retaliation or anger, but "too much love."

 

[DrGachet]

What do you mean, too much love? Are you saying they had terrible boundaries?

 

[deleted106747]

What do you mean, too much love? Are you saying they had terrible boundaries?

I think SingingCow means the patients?

 

[DrGachet]

Oh, sorry, I didn't read that correctly. Yes, those infatuated with the therapist can cause problems too. Specially those with Cluster B personality traits. But I have a bad habit of speculating too much, I need to look at surveys and research, for motives.

 

[SingingCow]

Oh, sorry, I didn't read that correctly. Yes, those infatuated with the therapist can cause problems too. Specially those with Cluster B personality traits. But I have a bad habit of speculating too much, I need to look at surveys and research, for motives.

It can be related to poor boundaries, personality traits, or some types of delusion.


This isn't a case of stalking but this thread reminds me of this:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs...lf-police-say/2011/07/23/gIQAb0UKVI_blog.html

 

[Rivi]

It creeps me out how easy it is to find people online too. I did a search on www.pipl.com (also see intelius.com) with only typing in my name and my city/state and my parent's address came up 😱.

 

[deleted106747]

It creeps me out how easy it is to find people online too. I did a search on www.pipl.com (also see intelius.com) with only typing in my name and my city/state and my parent's address came up 😱.

****! My address comes up!
I guess it's a good thing I haven't been stalked. Good Lord.

 

[cara susanna]

Can't find myself. Sometimes it's great to have a ridiculously common name. 🙂

 

[futureapppsy2]

I made myself unsearchable on Facebook. Not that I'm sure if anyone's ever tried to look me up, mind you.

Same here. Plus, I too have a ridiculously common name and don't use my full last name on Facebook. I was a bit creeped out when facebook once friend suggested one of my former clients in undergrad, tbh.

I don't know to what extent googling someone on the internet is stalking, though--I mean by that definition, plenty of grad schools and employers "stalk" their applicants. It's probably one of those gray area things.

 

[wigflip]

I don't know to what extent googling someone on the internet is stalking, though--I mean by that definition, plenty of grad schools and employers "stalk" their applicants. It's probably one of those gray area things.

Just put myself into that www.pipl.com website--not only my name, address, and cross street come up, but an exterior picture of my house taken in the early a.m. (satellite photo?)! Googling someone on the Internet isn't stalking (you'd need a pattern of unwanted contact for that), but the Internet sure would make stalking much easier. Creepy.

Funny part is that I put hubby in too just to see if same stuff came up--according to spokeo site we're not married. I am "in a relationship," but hubby is single. Will have to have a talk with the Mr. when he wakes up (tee-hee)...

 

[wigflip]

I made myself unsearchable on Facebook. Not that I'm sure if anyone's ever tried to look me up, mind you.

I'm unsearchable too--cause I'm not on Facebook (and hoping to stay that way).😉

Am just wondering whether folks here feel like professionally it's important to be ON or OFF Facebook. I don't feel any personal need to do it, but a friend of mine said her profs in law school are very clear that you need to be on, you need to update at least monthly, you need to disclose some (so it appears that you have a personality and aren't just a work drone) but not too much (so it doesn't look like you're a mess). Guess Facebook is important for law job searches. Is it the same in psych/counseling--gotta be on for internship/postdoc/job searches because that's how prospective employers find out who you are?

 

[psych00]

So, I have contacted some of these sites in the past regarding putting our personal information out there, and have never gotten a useful response other than "it is public record." I think that sometimes we deserve some privacy in the form of not having our names, DOBs, addresses, emails, relatives, and other information available for 95 cents. I really wonder how these websites get all of your information, other than companies that claim to have privacy policies selling it to them. Another thought is that, the first year in my program, I realized my school automatically included your local and permanent mailing addresses, as well as phone number, in the school's directory (which anyone could search online), so I obviously made my directory listing private, although the registrar's office staff were thoroughly confused about why I wouldn't want this info to be easily accessible to the public. Not sure if others feel the same way but, although my actual address is never listed because I live in an apartment and don't have a landline, even the thought of my parents' address being out there makes me nervous, particularly when working with clients who have longstanding patterns of dangerous and generally socially unacceptable behaviors. The facebook/what you put out there stuff is much less of a concern to me personally, because you generally have control over that...although there have been some concerns I am aware of in the past with someone going on others' facebook accounts and setting everything as public in order to show faculty pictures. I think it is fine to have facebook or other sites, although I intend to maintain tight privacy settings and just use the sites for the purpose of keeping in touch, rather than displaying myself online (I don't even like the attention of people singing happy birthday at restaurants...).

 

[zenman]

I made myself unsearchable on Facebook. Not that I'm sure if anyone's ever tried to look me up, mind you.

I'm in your front drive now in my pickup truck. I'm sure you want to go out with me 😀








Just kidding...

 

[cara susanna]

But Mr. President, your wife is right behind you!

 

[Ollie123]

Guess Facebook is important for law job searches. Is it the same in psych/counseling--gotta be on for internship/postdoc/job searches because that's how prospective employers find out who you are?

I've heard of it being a "red flag" if people publicly post pictures of themselves stripping/snorting lines of cocaine/other craziness. Never heard of a facebook page being "good" on a job search and I know several recently hired lawyers (admittedly all on the policy side) who do not meet what you said.

Most adults have some kind of access restrictions on it, so I'm honestly unclear how it could be used in a positive way for job decisions (besides networking of course). Would you receive a friend request from "Stevens & Sampson, LLC HR Rep" after sending in your resume?

I have one I barely use, never given it a moment's thought. If I'm ever in a position where the frequency of my facebook updates is a critical decision criterion for any job beyond "Cool kid in high school", I will be leaving the US and starting a farm in the developing world. Even if I can barely feed my family, we'll all be a lot better off.

 

[SFPsyd]

Unfortunately I've known several clinicians with stalking experiences, one of which was particularly scary in nature. In each case, these were individuals I respected a great deal professionally who did nothing to invite this sort of behavior. Each worked with patient populations on the more severe end of the spectrum. It's a good reminder that even if 99% of our patients are goodhearted, decent people simply trying to better themselves, we do work in a field where we are exposed to the occasional "bad apple." This is not to say that therapist boundary issues may at times play a role, but more often than not that I've seen it's been a reflection on particularly sick individuals.

 

[wigflip]

If I'm ever in a position where the frequency of my facebook updates is a critical decision criterion for any job beyond "Cool kid in high school", I will be leaving the US and starting a farm in the developing world. Even if I can barely feed my family, we'll all be a lot better off.

hahahaha--I like your sense of humor, Ollie!

I don't understand it either. I think according to her you're supposed to not restrict your profile thingy (you can tell I don't know how FB works) so prospective legal employers can sniff you out. Sounded CRAZY to me too, but she's not one to fib, so I believe her. She's not at a Tier 1 school (it's not Crapsville U either though), so maybe that's part of it?

 

[PerhapsMaybeOk]

one of my clients is an actual poster on SDN. Yes they are on this site and have recently posted. Hence this psuedoscreename. Catchmeifyoucan.

 

[PrisonPsych]

one of my clients is an actual poster on SDN. Yes they are on this site and have recently posted. Hence this psuedoscreename. Catchmeifyoucan.

Heh. You know all of us that are doing therapy through CCs are now scratching our heads and wondering if you're our therapist.... 😎

 

[futureapppsy2]

one of my clients is an actual poster on SDN. Yes they are on this site and have recently posted. Hence this psuedoscreename. Catchmeifyoucan.

Um--and please don't post any identifying info (it's against SDN TOS, not to mention our ethics code)--but how would you know this? Did they actually tell you that they are an SDN member?

Granted, people post some pretty identifying stuff here, but it's generally professionally identifying stuff (what program they're in, which their research interests are, where they interviewed for internship, etc) and not so much *personally* identifying things (we're one of the more asocial boards on SDN when it comes to off-topic/personal stuff even though we're probably easier to identify professionally thanks to how focused psych is in terms of specialization of interests).

I mean, you can discuss professional issues with your clients, but still... it just strikes me as strange that you would be able to clearly, with full certitude, identify one of your clients based on posts here. 😕

 

[cara susanna]

Is that a Macross avatar?

 

[TenaciousGirl]

Last year while working at an in patient psych facility, one of the patients that had been discharged and referred to outpatient tried to follow me home. Luckily, I happen to be slightly paranoid and I noticed a car following me. I pulled into a gas station to see what would happen and sure enough, they pulled in and parked. Someone told me once that if you think you're being followed, make sure to take down the license plate/model/make and drive to the police station. So, that's what I did. I then called my supervisor to verify what the protocol was for that situation.

I happen to have a somewhat common name, but last time I checked fb wouldn't let me be "unsearchable". I don't know if they've changed this now, but to cover my bases I use a pseudoname that is even more common than my "real" name. I am not in the network for my current program, either. I heard that even if you're unsearchable, but you're in the network, people can go to the network and look through the listings and find people that way.

I've also checked some of the people finder sites and elected to remove my information from the ones that list it.

 

[TenaciousGirl]

I'm unsearchable too--cause I'm not on Facebook (and hoping to stay that way).😉

Am just wondering whether folks here feel like professionally it's important to be ON or OFF Facebook.

We've talked about this quite a bit in my program. The faculty seems to be divided. I know some that refuse to be on it and some that see it as a way to keep up with social media. Professionally speaking, I'm not sure how it could be important to be on it what with boundary issues and all. As far as being on it for personal reasons, that I get. I have thought about deleting mine. I have so many friends/family that live on the other side of the country and it is unfortunately convenient to be able to connect with them through fb that I can't yet bring myself to get rid of it.

 

[Rivi]

Last year while working at an in patient psych facility, one of the patients that had been discharged and referred to outpatient tried to follow me home. Luckily, I happen to be slightly paranoid and I noticed a car following me. I pulled into a gas station to see what would happen and sure enough, they pulled in and parked. Someone told me once that if you think you're being followed, make sure to take down the license plate/model/make and drive to the police station. So, that's what I did. I then called my supervisor to verify what the protocol was for that situation.

If you don't mind me asking, what ended up happening? What was the issue of the person who was following you?

 

[TenaciousGirl]

The pt was upset that i transferred him/her to out patient. I called my supervisor who basically took over from that point since technically the pt wasn't on my caseload anymore. She informed hospital personnel (security) and the new treating clinician. I met with the pt and his/her new clinician and talked about what happened and restated the clinical boundaries.

 

[KillerDiller]

I haven't been stalked by a client (that I know of). However, I did work with someone who stalked his previous therapist, who was also a female trainee at my externship site. He revealed some of his stalking behaviors in our therapy sessions. In my opinion, this particular incident was a case of poorly set boundaries, but I don't think that is always the case with stalkers. Anyway, it scared me quite a bit and I became even more paranoid about any personal information that was publicly available. I learned to take a lot of extra precautions.

 

[psydtobe]

i have had vairous clients look up myself and other coworkers on fb. our pages are all private and names have been changed or altered for search purposes.

 

[2012PhD]

i have had vairous clients look up myself and other coworkers on fb. our pages are all private and names have been changed or altered for search purposes.

Even if you don't have a facebook account, everything is public these days.

just go to www.whitepages.com. If you have name, city and state you can get anybody's address. My home address with cell phone was on there.

 

[psydtobe]

Even if you don't have a facebook account, everything is public these days.

just go to www.whitepages.com. If you have name, city and state you can get anybody's address. My home address with cell phone was on there.

very true. i was just making reference to the previous posters who mentioned facebook. i keep everything else of mine private or in my spouse's name.

 

[Neuropsych2be]

I was stalked by a client about 19 years ago. I was young, foolish, and actually believed in Rogerian client-centered therapy. I made the mistake of using Rogerian therapy with a borderline client. Bad mistake. But I was fresh out of a M.S. program and did not have the clinical skills or knowledge to avoid that mistake This was before the invention of the Internet thankfully. It was a horrible experience but I learned a lot from the experience about maintaining my privacy. However, to this day, one of the scariest things for me is to have a voicemail where the caller does not identify themselves and I don't recognize the voice and they seem to know me.

 

[aventurine]

I have never been stalked, nor known anyone who has been stalked. I might be naive, but I think some of the fear of this is related to the fear of the mentally ill. Of course, we do know our patients on a more intimate level than, say, a dermatologist probably does. So maybe that makes it more likely. I'm sure others will chime in with stalking stories, but I've never seen it happen since I began school a million years ago. That being said, I would be very upset if my home address appeared online!

I know of several such situations, though there is probably a higher incidence of erotomanic delusions among the patient population with whom I work.

A warning to soon-to-be grads: Do not use your home address when you apply for your NPI number. A lot of people make this mistake if they are in the hiring process, seeking a job or do not want to use their current workplace location for whatever reason. Not only can anyone look it up in the database, but the database provides it to all of those health care professional rating sites (healthgrades.com, ratemds.com, vitals.com, etc.), so your home address can end up all over the internet and it is not easy to change it everywhere. Yes, resourceful people can find you, anyway, but no need to make it that easy!

 

[futureapppsy2]

While stalking obviously is really bad/frightening/problematic, I don't know how much we can fault clients for just googling or looking up their therapists on FB. I mean, FB itself is kind of "stalkerish" (using that term very loosely) in its very nature, and that's part of what makes it so popular--you get to keep up with and learn more about people. Of course, it's important to discuss and set boundaries (and I tend to lean to the strict side with boundaries) with clients and to not FB friend them or anything, but in some ways, it might be stranger for a client *not* to google their therapist than the other way around, especially with younger populations. After all, they're trusting you with a lot of very personal things. So, it is something to discuss up front with clients because in this day and age, at least some of them are likely to do it (if they didn't already). JMHO.

 

[MinnPsych]

I can't personally speak to the issue of therapy clients stalking as I am just starting my doctorate. I have dealt with stalking in my personal life that bled into my work life though.

Things that I found helpful in the situation were making any social networking (IE facebook, twitter) private and unsearchable. Like others have said though, if there is a will there is a way to find information in this day and age.

Inform the appropriate individuals such as your family, spouses, coworkers, bosses. Some erotomanic stalkers may go through great lenghts and many venues to contact the victim. Informing these key people helps them know what to expect if they get a suspect phone call, email, or visit.

Depending on the level of stalking document, document, document. The police will try and help you, but they need specific information.

Hopefully no one on this forum has to deal with stalking. But if you do, I think the take home message is be proactive about it. A lot of what the individual will do is boundary testing, that may escalate if gone unchecked.

 

[lo9392]

I know this forum is a bit old. But it's helped me in my current situation. I'm a PCA with a health care agency and I go to a university. I work for a girl with a disability who cannot use her arms and also goes to the university. So I help her shower, get dressed, etc.

She calls me her best friend and tries to invite me to outside of work things. I politely decline because we have extremely different views (politically, religiously, morally) so I'm only interested in working with her. She has added me on facebook, and has my phone number and I didn't find it a big deal.

She has asked me personal sexual questions about myself and my boyfriend, of which I've declined to answer. She has accused me of having mental disorders and has asked me about what medications I'm on. She asks me to do things that I'm not supposed to be doing for her because she is capable of doing them herself.

She recently has asked where I live because she wants to live in the same apartment complex as me. And she has asked what my class schedule is so she can walk with me to classes. I've had to make all of my social media private because she admits to "stalking" them. And we go to the same university do even if I quit my job, I cannot get away from her until I graduate. I realize a lot of her behavior is simply to feel powerful over me.

This isn't severe stalking/privacy breaching, but it's extremely bothersome and I hope to find relief soon.