Starting med school with children?

[Ajav]

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I have 2 kids but I want to go to med school and become a pediatrician. Do you know other people who have successfully become doctors even though they hasd kids before med school?

 

[Bonne Nuit]

I have 2 kids but I want to go to med school and become a pediatrician. Do you know other people who have successfully become doctors even though they hasd kids before med school?

Most medical school classes will graduate a handful of parents. It can definitely be done, but raising kids while in medical school requires at least one of the following conditions to be met:

1. Spouse that stays home with the kids
2. Nearby family who are willing to watch the kid(s) whenever
3. Independently wealthy and can afford a nanny
4. Kids who are at least high school aged, independent, and trustworthy

Medical student parents always need to have a plan B for when grandma gets sick and can’t come over or the nanny’s car breaks down.

Of course, none of this addresses the enormous time commitment that is medical training. You can “successfully” become a doctor, but it will come at a cost to the time spent with your family. That is something to consider.

 

[petomed]

Most medical school classes will graduate a handful of parents. It can definitely be done, but raising kids while in medical school requires at least one of the following conditions to be met:

1. Spouse that stays home with the kids
2. Nearby family who are willing to watch the kid(s) whenever
3. Independently wealthy and can afford a nanny
4. Kids who are at least high school aged, independent, and trustworthy

Medical student parents always need to have a plan B for when grandma gets sick and can’t come over or the nanny’s car breaks down.

Of course, none of this addresses the enormous time commitment that is medical training. You can “successfully” become a doctor, but it will come at a cost to the time spent with your family. That is something to consider.

I will be starting medical school next year and will have a 3 year old and < 1 year old at that time. I’ve been preparing for this for the past five years and can say the above is concisely spot on. While we will try to add in 5., being daycare such that my spouse is able to work, 1 and 2 will doubtlessly be required whenever the kiddos are home sick from daycare, which is quite often with young children in the hypersensitive COVID era. We do not fall under 3., so balancing daycare with 1., 2. and 5. will be a constant flux for us.

 

[Goro]

I have 2 kids but I want to go to med school and become a pediatrician. Do you know other people who have successfully become doctors even though they hasd kids before med school?

Yes. I have had single moms as students who did well, and brand new moms who had babies right before medical school or even in medical school! It's doable.

You will need a good support group either at home and were in school.

You will find your fellow students who are parents parents be a great resource.

 

[NontradICUdoc]

When I started medical school I had a five year old, three year old, and one year old. It’s doable. Hard but doable. When I finish medical school I added a one year old.


Today those kids are 20, 17, 15, and 11.

 

[NontradICUdoc]

Most medical school classes will graduate a handful of parents. It can definitely be done, but raising kids while in medical school requires at least one of the following conditions to be met:

1. Spouse that stays home with the kids
2. Nearby family who are willing to watch the kid(s) whenever
3. Independently wealthy and can afford a nanny
4. Kids who are at least high school aged, independent, and trustworthy

Medical student parents always need to have a plan B for when grandma gets sick and can’t come over or the nanny’s car breaks down.

Of course, none of this addresses the enormous time commitment that is medical training. You can “successfully” become a doctor, but it will come at a cost to the time spent with your family. That is something to consider.

Now that I am at my desk, I can provide a more detailed answer.

As mentioned above, when I started medical school I had 3 children. My wife was self employed however she still had deadlines to meet. The school added childcare to my cost of attendance (of course this meant a higher loan burden). During the application process, both of us (because it is not just me going to school, it affects the whole nuclear family) looked at the schools and what kind of support we would need and get. We were lucky in that my in-laws moved within close proximity to us. This is very, very important. You and your spouse need to have a support system in place. You will be very busy with studying and they will have to go on with their lives without you at times. Of course, you need to make it a point to spend time with your family.

When I was in medical School, there were two classmates who were my regular babysitters allowing my wife and I to go out and have a date night. This is very important as well.

You will need to be creative. Certainly you can PM me if you have any other questions. I would just like to address these points

1. Spouse is expected to work and help support the family. The school wants to ensure that you are not taking out too many loans. In addition, the school's health insurance will only cover the student and not the family (you can but you have to purchase it separately and it is very expensive). Do not agree with this statement

2. 100% agree.

3. No.

4. Easiest.

Plan B: A must for any parent who works or goes to school.

I especially would like to address the last point. That going to medical school will come at a cost. Yes and no. This is up to you. I am going to tell you what we did and by no means is this what you "should" do. Rather, it is an example. As mentioned above, I had a young family. I treated medical school like a job. Right after class, I came home so that we can eat as a family. This was family time. After dinner, I went to the public library and studied until it closed at 9pm. Came home, relaxed for a bit. Tucked those that needed tucking in and went back to studying. Friday night through Sunday noon was family time. Saturday night was date night. Saturday afternoon, the public library had many free offerings, specifically Lego time (of course the kids became bored very quickly, the moms were around the periphery on their phones, and the dads were playing with Legos. Sunday afternoon, back to campus to study.

Any breaks (winter, spring, summer (MS 1 and 2), were family time. Day trips, etc.

I made it a point to write down every school activity my children had on my calendar and did what I could to be there (I attended every science fair, every play, every parent/teacher conference, and especially graduation). We planned the birthday parties around my exam schedule. Yes, I missed some family functions (extended family, not nuclear) but this was the sacrifice I made. We including our children in a lot. I even brought my eldest to class with me for "bring your daughter to work" day.

Medicine is a life long endeavor and you MUST work at ensuring that you do not miss important things. It is not just in medical school, residency as well and this has less leniency than school.

 

[LukeChester]

Yeah, you're not alone 🙂 I know a lot of awesome stories when working (!) people with kids (!) started their studies. Of course, they found their special options - most of them had blended learning with an online theory part and an offline practical one. Some of them chose remote work to get a possibility to visit a school. And some of them are single parents - I just think they're heroes.

Actually, a lot of universities offer special programs for mature students, furthermore, there are annual scholarships. I would like to share this post with back-to-school tips for adults - it contains information about these scholarships, different options, and other useful stuff you can find helpful before you start.

Hope it helps! Nothing is impossible 😉

 

[CM1850UV]

When I started medical school at the age of 37 in 2003, my wife and I had two young children. My wife worked two jobs, day and night, to support us through school. I was a farrier and scheduled horses on the week-ends or vacation weeks. When she was working, I was watching the kids. I would cook supper, bathe them, and put them to bed in the evening, then go to sleep (in the Navy when I was younger, I learned how to sleep any time, anywhere, in any position). When she got home from work, I would wake up and start studying. I would finish at about 3 A.M., take a little nap, then wake up to go to school. In my clinical years, it was different in that I had to stay at the hospital a lot, "on call." She was not able to work as much, so for third and fourth years we shared one car, ate a lot of rice and beans, and entertained ourselves at home. I was determined that my family came first and that I would not lose them in this process, so had to learn to be content with (actually overjoyed by) settling in the middle of my class. We grew very close as a family and shared major decisions, with our "eyes on the prize." I look back and wonder how we did it. This is the way.