Struggles and Self Doubt

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timshady

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First post for me, so hello everyone! TL;DR is last 4 paragraphs, which isn't a TL;DR at all really.

To start I'd just like to clarify that I had no idea what to name this, or even what to search for to answer questions; so forgive me if I missed something.

Let's begin.
My first quarter of college (R.I.T.) I was an I.T. student, I then transferred into medical informatics (add I.T. & Pre-med = medical informatics) and I've loved it ever since. I've always wanted to be a doctor but I never truly considered it because I was afraid of getting out of college with a biology degree and not being accepted into med school and having no where to turn except being a lab tech. Medical informatics alleviated that stress because it gives me an outlet if things turn sour.

** R.I.T. is in the process of converting from quarters to semesters. I've never had a semester experience so if the GPA or whatever else doesn't seem correct this could be why. A quarter at RIT is 10 weeks of class, 1 week of exams and 1 week of break before the next quarter begins. There's a 2 week winter break between weeks 4 and 5 of the winter quarter.

Everything was fine and dandy the first year, I ended up with a 3.85 (was mostly I.T./Medical Informatics courses, Calc A was only science) . Then this past year came along and wrecked me.

The beginning of the fall quarter was going great, Biology and Chemistry and Calc B were running smoothly for me and I was confident. But, about 3-4 weeks in I ran into some MAJOR relationship issues. Unfortunately, I wasn't as resilient as I should have been and it seriously affected my grades. I came out of that quarter with a 3.470 with B's in bio/lab, calc B, and chem lab (woohoo, A in chem I).

I got things together for the winter quarter; really decided that I was going to get things done and this was going to be my rebound quarter. Looking back on it, I was an idiot, but regardless, here goes: I took on 20 credits (total of 5 classes & 2 labs) because 2 of the classes I didn't think would be that bad. Well, the issues persisted, and to top it off I picked up a second job because I needed the money. I ended up working ~30 hours a week, and taking 20 credit hours along with the quarter having a 2 week break right in the center of everything. It didn't turn out so well; it was the first quarter since going to college that I didn't get any A's, I missed Dean's List, and I got my first(only) C (in Calc C, how convenient). I got all B's in Bio/Lab, Chem/lab, and 2 computer courses.

Spring quarter comes along, I get my hopes up again. I stopped my 2nd job so I'm only working 10 hrs a week, I'm still taking 20 credits because one class I know is easy and it's a requirement for a double major that I want (because of transfers from HS/summer courses I've got a free year of fin. aid, might as well get something out of it yeah? ). I really try to pull myself together but relationship issues persist (I know at this point it would've been a good move to ditch the relationship, but to anyone who has been in a long term relationship it's difficult to just throw it away, I had to try.) but fortunately they only persisted a short while, we (finally) sought help and it honestly made a huge difference. Anyway, Finally saw A's again in 2 of my computer courses. Still got B's in Bio/lab & Chem/lab. Ended up with a 3.42 that quarter, which left me with a cumulative of 3.52.

So I'm writing this now because I'm getting really stressed about med school, my chances, and everything else. I still have 2 years of college left to go, I've only got to take OChem & Physics to be done with my pre-reqs for the MCAT so I'm finishing those up this coming year and aiming for the MCAT next summer.

I KNOW I could have pulled A's in Bio lecture if I would've just studied for ~30 minutes, I got 86's (surprisingly I almost always got an exact 86 on all 10 exams through the year) with only taking notes and finishing homework/quizzes (mastering bio), and I KNOW I could've got A's in my last 2 chem classes if I would've gone to class and done the homework, I almost always got >95s on exams when I went to class, and did the homework. I just ran out of steam/motivation I guess. I really hit a wall mentally, emotionally, and physically. I LOVE chemistry and biology because they're so interesting but I just couldn't get the energy to do even the simplest of things.

I guess the TL;DR of all of this is: I have a year to really smash the MCAT exam preparations, I can't afford specialized test-prep though (woohoo khan & wiki-premed!). I really feel like a failure and I feel like I let myself down with my grades this past year because I know I could've done better and there's no real way to justify the poor performances beyond relationship troubles, financial troubles, and simply doing too much at once and I feel those justifications won't really hold up when it comes to my GPAs (sci/non-sci/etc.) will they?

Where do I turn? What should I do next to solidify my chances of getting into med school? I guess those are really what I'm getting at. I just don't feel confident in my performances on my pre-reqs and I really don't feel that they're an accurate description of my abilities as a student. Should I just give 'er all I've got on the MCAT and hope for the best?

Thanks for your time.
 
First post for me, so hello everyone! TL;DR is last 4 paragraphs, which isn't a TL;DR at all really.

To start I'd just like to clarify that I had no idea what to name this, or even what to search for to answer questions; so forgive me if I missed something.

Let's begin.
My first quarter of college (R.I.T.) I was an I.T. student, I then transferred into medical informatics (add I.T. & Pre-med = medical informatics) and I've loved it ever since. I've always wanted to be a doctor but I never truly considered it because I was afraid of getting out of college with a biology degree and not being accepted into med school and having no where to turn except being a lab tech. Medical informatics alleviated that stress because it gives me an outlet if things turn sour.

** R.I.T. is in the process of converting from quarters to semesters. I've never had a semester experience so if the GPA or whatever else doesn't seem correct this could be why. A quarter at RIT is 10 weeks of class, 1 week of exams and 1 week of break before the next quarter begins. There's a 2 week winter break between weeks 4 and 5 of the winter quarter.

Everything was fine and dandy the first year, I ended up with a 3.85 (was mostly I.T./Medical Informatics courses, Calc A was only science) . Then this past year came along and wrecked me.

The beginning of the fall quarter was going great, Biology and Chemistry and Calc B were running smoothly for me and I was confident. But, about 3-4 weeks in I ran into some MAJOR relationship issues. Unfortunately, I wasn't as resilient as I should have been and it seriously affected my grades. I came out of that quarter with a 3.470 with B's in bio/lab, calc B, and chem lab (woohoo, A in chem I).

I got things together for the winter quarter; really decided that I was going to get things done and this was going to be my rebound quarter. Looking back on it, I was an idiot, but regardless, here goes: I took on 20 credits (total of 5 classes & 2 labs) because 2 of the classes I didn't think would be that bad. Well, the issues persisted, and to top it off I picked up a second job because I needed the money. I ended up working ~30 hours a week, and taking 20 credit hours along with the quarter having a 2 week break right in the center of everything. It didn't turn out so well; it was the first quarter since going to college that I didn't get any A's, I missed Dean's List, and I got my first(only) C (in Calc C, how convenient). I got all B's in Bio/Lab, Chem/lab, and 2 computer courses.

Spring quarter comes along, I get my hopes up again. I stopped my 2nd job so I'm only working 10 hrs a week, I'm still taking 20 credits because one class I know is easy and it's a requirement for a double major that I want (because of transfers from HS/summer courses I've got a free year of fin. aid, might as well get something out of it yeah? ). I really try to pull myself together but relationship issues persist (I know at this point it would've been a good move to ditch the relationship, but to anyone who has been in a long term relationship it's difficult to just throw it away, I had to try.) but fortunately they only persisted a short while, we (finally) sought help and it honestly made a huge difference. Anyway, Finally saw A's again in 2 of my computer courses. Still got B's in Bio/lab & Chem/lab. Ended up with a 3.42 that quarter, which left me with a cumulative of 3.52.

So I'm writing this now because I'm getting really stressed about med school, my chances, and everything else. I still have 2 years of college left to go, I've only got to take OChem & Physics to be done with my pre-reqs for the MCAT so I'm finishing those up this coming year and aiming for the MCAT next summer.

I KNOW I could have pulled A's in Bio lecture if I would've just studied for ~30 minutes, I got 86's (surprisingly I almost always got an exact 86 on all 10 exams through the year) with only taking notes and finishing homework/quizzes (mastering bio), and I KNOW I could've got A's in my last 2 chem classes if I would've gone to class and done the homework, I almost always got >95s on exams when I went to class, and did the homework. I just ran out of steam/motivation I guess. I really hit a wall mentally, emotionally, and physically. I LOVE chemistry and biology because they're so interesting but I just couldn't get the energy to do even the simplest of things.

I guess the TL;DR of all of this is: I have a year to really smash the MCAT exam preparations, I can't afford specialized test-prep though (woohoo khan & wiki-premed!). I really feel like a failure and I feel like I let myself down with my grades this past year because I know I could've done better and there's no real way to justify the poor performances beyond relationship troubles, financial troubles, and simply doing too much at once and I feel those justifications won't really hold up when it comes to my GPAs (sci/non-sci/etc.) will they?

Where do I turn? What should I do next to solidify my chances of getting into med school? I guess those are really what I'm getting at. I just don't feel confident in my performances on my pre-reqs and I really don't feel that they're an accurate description of my abilities as a student. Should I just give 'er all I've got on the MCAT and hope for the best?

Thanks for your time.

It sounds like you know exactly what you need to do. Focus on school to get a higher GPA. Then you should study a ton for the MCAT and take tons of practice tests to make sure you get above a 30. Also, don't go back into the relationship. Just back away and try to stay out of it or any drama associated with it.

Just remember this, everyone has screwed up once or twice. Just focus on improving your GPA.

You didn't mention anything about ECs. So I will tell you to be involved and do things, but don't do so much that detracts from your GPA.
 
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