Stuck in the wrong group of residents

[OrthoBod]

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Hello everyone,
I need some help, feeling a bit stuck with this situation

I am an ortho resident year 2 and as I had heard the stereotype was true (Atleast to the program i am in) - Non North American system. We do not chose the program.

I am someone who is relatively silent. I talk when its needed, not overly shy, just confident enough to have my presence noticed. I am fond of research, teaching medical students etc. Usually the first to jump and help if a fellow resident or anyone who needs it.

I am with a group of cut throat, alpha like overly confident and overly competitive orthopaedic residents.
In my pgy 1 I did not know everyone to realize this but over time it is becoming evident.

It is now becoming a problem because all non ortho rotations are over and mingling with them is like hanging out with pack of wolves.
- They have NO respect for anyone. Language gets SO filthy its not even funny. Its sad how sick they get. I do not want to even begin giving an example. Every thing kept in the lounge could turn into a S. Toy.
- Extremely competitive that they could cut your roots with an attending if it makes them closer. They could do anything just to have you out of the priority zone.
- If i get a publication/win a funding - not a single soul would congratulate. On the opposite works gets difficult with them
.
The only conversations I can have is based on them finding how much i am studying or how i am simultaneously doing the projects. If i have prepared well or bad for the exams.

I am not sure if its my ethnicity or something about me that makes them quietly hate me.
I am someone who works silently (And why should i boast or make noise!) so PD would ask me to write a proposal for something new he wants to do in the program and i would do it when it comes up in meetings with some sort of praise (I am not a suck up - quiet the opposite), they come back and want to say something nasty but i shut them up.

Its getting to a point of stress after responding to each one of them based on what i study out of their psychology. It shouldnot be that way. I am not supposed to be studying a persons psychology before interacting with him thinking he might be having a family issue or he is under stress

Its getting to me to a point sometimes i avoid going to the teachings sessions =(
My skin colour could be an issue, i do not know.

Any help.

 

[Ladholyman]

Just ignore them. Keep quiet, keep your head down, do your work. Smile, make jokes, and be nice to everyone. Realize that it's very hard to actually change anyone's personalities but your own. If you find that your fellow residents don't like your personal accomplishments, then keep your mouth shut. Find something to do outside of work like picking up an instrument or playing Fortnite, it can be anything. Keep conversations with your fellow residents to small talk. Find someone outside of your work group to vent. I find family members to be very good for that. Good luck.

 

[DarkHorizon]

sounds like bunch of kiss ass phonies. Let your work speak for itself, work hard, keep your head down, find some hobbies to keep you busy outside of work. Don't confront senior residents, unless it severely affects patient care. Remember, they can't stop time.

 

[RangerBob]

I agree with the others--you may just have to put up with those residents, but you can minimize your interactions with them, just be polite and then go back to your work. There's no need to join in on their language. I knew a resident who was a priest--he was quite different than his co-residents. He was very polite to everyone, even if they were quite different personalities. He got his work done quickly and efficiently and went home to be with his wife and kids.

Often we have to put up with people we don't particularly like. Unfortunately that can really affect how much you enjoy your job (and as an attending, you can easily leave and fine a new job if you're that unhappy). If you find you need more interaction with people at work, try talking with your nurses, MA's, admins, etc. You'll find they're often very friendly people who really enjoy talking with residents. Since medical school, whenever I had a more difficult/unfriendly attending, I would either do work, study, or talk with other staff during any free-time we had in clinic. And if you really enjoy teaching, keep teaching your med students! Many residents see med students as a burden, so if you show an interest in teaching that will go a long with with impressing your attendings.

 

[OrthoBod]

Thanks for the replies. Much help. I agree with all of you but some where down the lane, it does take a toll on you anyway..

I spoke to one of the attending one day over a cup of coffee and he gave me his opinion that surprised me. I poured out telling him that i am getting convinced that i might be passive. I do not argue and fight like other residents in the OT or perhaps I am not that cut throat surgical residents who get their way.
He laughed and said as an attending we observe everything and we 'know'. Just be exactly who you are. You seem to learn from everyone whether its tech guy, nurses, paramedics. And you keep polite. Do not be like your colleagues, we know when we converse with all of you - your level, knowledge and how far each one of you will go. You will be a great + safe surgeon. Everything will fall in place, everything will come together. Dont worry.
Wow - that was like sweat just wiped off my head. It was a huge relief.
So many things go unsaid, unspoken in residency but they exist. Its all in the air but no one speaks about it.