Study Partner

[irrandom]

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I am currently in my second year of medical school and for the most part I feel like I get the hang of everything. I study mostly by myself. Recently a classmate whom I know fairly well asked me to study with him. Instinctively I agreed to it (something I know I should work on - setting boundaries), even though I don't really want to study with him for one big reason. That is, in the past I have study with the classmate, he gets fixated on small details and wants to know why for everything. He would pause the study session and look up that information. In the end I just feel that the study session with that person is very unproductive or draining because it takes so long. I understand it's IMPORTANT to find out the why behind certain diseases and pathologic process, especially for some people due to their learning style. But there are a times a person just needs to take the information given to him and accepts it for what it is, simply given the time constraints and the limitations of what we know. I would like to know people's opinion on several things.

1. How would you deal with this? I think this is a bit tricky, especially because I am considering studying with someone else (who has similar expectations) and working through questions and cases together, and I don't want to upset the classmate and come off as gunnerish.

2. Am I being too much selfish or too protective of my time in this case?

 

[Textbookversion]

Are you a woman? Your thought process in the post comes across as distinctly female in nature so I'll go ahead and assume you are. From what you said it is a "him" that wants to study with you...

He (95%+ chance) just has a crush on you/wants to bang and this is an awkward approach to getting closer to you. So the appropriate response here is if you feel the same way, you should say "I don't really want to study together, but I would like to get to hang out blah blah blah."

If you don't like him just put on your big girl pants and say, "I don't feel like our learning style works well together and I have other commitments I'm sorry," the next time he asks about it.

I don't see what the big worry here is. I'd tell you that perseverating over this kind of stuff is silly and unhealthy but I don't think me telling you is going to change the way you think so whatever.

 

[link2swim06]

I am currently in my second year of medical school and for the most part I feel like I get the hang of everything. I study mostly by myself. Recently a classmate whom I know fairly well asked me to study with him. Instinctively I agreed to it (something I know I should work on - setting boundaries), even though I don't really want to study with him for one big reason. That is, in the past I have study with the classmate, he gets fixated on small details and wants to know why for everything. He would pause the study session and look up that information. In the end I just feel that the study session with that person is very unproductive or draining because it takes so long. I understand it's IMPORTANT to find out the why behind certain diseases and pathologic process, especially for some people due to their learning style. But there are a times a person just needs to take the information given to him and accepts it for what it is, simply given the time constraints and the limitations of what we know. I would like to know people's opinion on several things.

1. How would you deal with this? I think this is a bit tricky, especially because I am considering studying with someone else (who has similar expectations) and working through questions and cases together, and I don't want to upset the classmate and come off as gunnerish.

2. Am I being too much selfish or too protective of my time in this case?

Just say no.

 

[tallman24]

Are you a woman? Your thought process in the post comes across as distinctly female in nature so I'll go ahead and assume you are. From what you said it is a "him" that wants to study with you...

He (95%+ chance) just has a crush on you/wants to bang and this is an awkward approach to getting closer to you. So the appropriate response here is if you feel the same way, you should say "I don't really want to study together, but I would like to get to hang out blah blah blah."

If you don't like him just put on your big girl pants and say, "I don't feel like our learning style works well together and I have other commitments I'm sorry," the next time he asks about it.

I don't see what the big worry here is. I'd tell you that perseverating over this kind of stuff is silly and unhealthy but I don't think me telling you is going to change the way you think so whatever.

Agreed

 

[munchymanRX]

I am currently in my second year of medical school and for the most part I feel like I get the hang of everything. I study mostly by myself. Recently a classmate whom I know fairly well asked me to study with him. Instinctively I agreed to it (something I know I should work on - setting boundaries), even though I don't really want to study with him for one big reason. That is, in the past I have study with the classmate, he gets fixated on small details and wants to know why for everything. He would pause the study session and look up that information. In the end I just feel that the study session with that person is very unproductive or draining because it takes so long. I understand it's IMPORTANT to find out the why behind certain diseases and pathologic process, especially for some people due to their learning style. But there are a times a person just needs to take the information given to him and accepts it for what it is, simply given the time constraints and the limitations of what we know. I would like to know people's opinion on several things.

1. How would you deal with this? I think this is a bit tricky, especially because I am considering studying with someone else (who has similar expectations) and working through questions and cases together, and I don't want to upset the classmate and come off as gunnerish.

2. Am I being too much selfish or too protective of my time in this case?

I don't really understand the problem here. Don't study with him anymore if you have a problem with his learning style. It's not 'gunnerish' if you say you just want to study on your own. You're an adult.

Agree with the above as well. It sounds like he just wants to get to know you better and doesn't have the cojones to ask you out proper.

 

[Etorphine]

Why don't you tell him that yourself. Not that hard.

 

[munchymanRX]

You people act as if its that easy to turn off your emotions, which I doubt 90% of you can do, its just easy for you guys to say it on the internet like its "Duh!!"

She wants to keep this guy on a friendly basis and if you deny someone like that she is worried he will take offense to it and have something to dislike/hate her for. Telling people what you guys recommended is not so easy when the OP is worried about how the person will perceive it. She is looking for a better and calmer way to let the person down.

You hypocritical schizoids.

Good lord, she's not turning down a marriage proposition. The guy's study habits aren't conducive to her learning style. There's nothing to be offended about. Nobody I know would give two ****s about being told that a member of their study group/partner prefers to study alone. I do it all the time. You have to do what's going to help you assimilate the information best.

She's overthinking this situation.

 

[chiz2kul]

1. How would you deal with this? I think this is a bit tricky, especially because I am considering studying with someone else (who has similar expectations) and working through questions and cases together, and I don't want to upset the classmate and come off as gunnerish.

which one is more attractive?

 

[evilbooyaa]

If you feel like it doesn't help you study, then don't study with him. Who you study with doesn't need to have any relation to who you are dating.

 

[vj95]

Are you a woman? Your thought process in the post comes across as distinctly female in nature so I'll go ahead and assume you are. From what you said Tis a "him" that wants to study with you...

He (95%+ chance) just has a crush on you/wants to bang and this is an awkward approach to getting closer to you. So the appropriate response here is if you feel the same way, you should say "I don't really want to study together, but I would like to get to hang out blah blah blah."

If you don't like him just put on your big girl pants and say, "I don't feel like our learning style works well together and I have other commitments I'm sorry," the next time he asks about it.

I don't see what the big worry here is. I'd tell you that perseverating over this kind of stuff is silly and unhealthy but I don't think me telling you is going to change the way you think so whatever.

not agreed

 

[Awared]

Honestly I'm the same way. No group studying because it just slows you down if you are with someone who will question minute details, or even on the other hand, doesn't want to understand something to the depth that you do. It isn't wrong of you, you need to look out for yourself.