Teacher wants to have lunch with me...

[Impulse155]

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So a teacher who wants to write an LOR for me wants to meet for lunch before doing it. I dont see it as a problem, I just don't know what to expect. Will it be an interview, do I pick up the tab?

 

[dentalprodigy]

Weird, but i'm assuming she/he just wants to get to know you better in an informal setting perhaps?...still weird. I wouldn't pick up the tab though.

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[MrWilson]

It's not unusual for someone who is writing a recommendation to have lunch/coffee with that person. They're giving you a chance to tell them "your story" so to speak and a chance to know the "real" you in a comfortable setting. The more they know you on a personal level, the better your LOR, as compared to just an ordinary LOR "this was the student's grade, came to class on time, etc..." As far as picking up the tab, I'm not necessarily sure about the proper etiquette, since they initiated the idea.

 

[ginaych]

So a teacher who wants to write an LOR for me wants to meet for lunch before doing it. I dont see it as a problem, I just don't know what to expect. Will it be an interview, do I pick up the tab?

I think you should be very happy that your teacher is willing to sacrifice his/her time to write you a real quality LOR by getting to know you better. If I were you I would at least offer to pick up the tab. It is a way to show your appreciation of his/her time and effort, especially when he/she is this nice. If he/she rejects it then I wouldn't insist. just my opinion.

 

[UCLAzy]

not only would i pick up the tab...if she/he is cute and of the gender that you prefer...i'd ask for a second 'meeting' =)

 

[phy241]

At least offer to pick up the tab, but I am pretty sure your teacher will not let you; it's just a polite gesture. In any event, I think it's rude if you don't offer because he/she is making time to do something for you.

 

[destinedsirius]

Definitely try to pick up the tab... say something like.. you want to show your gratitude for their time and effort to write you a letter which will help you achieve your goals... and that it is the least you could do to show your appreciation. If they refuse, the next step would be to ask to split the check. If they still refuse, then accept it... no harm done.

 

[wizi]

Impulse,

If you are a guy, nothing to worry.

If you are a girl, you should becareful even the professor means no harm.
Go to a public, crowded restaurant that you know. Tell your family, friends where you go.

My friend has a professor who "accidentally" showed her a porn site... what a freak...

Extra caution never hurts anyone...

 

[timwatley]

What are you going to do if they initiate footsy under the table? I see flashing red lights everywhere.

 

[seattlesun]

Set the lunch on campus if there is a decent cafeteria, that way you don't have to worry about the awkward bill moment. Usually professors don't have much time either so a location near their office might be good for this reason also.

 

[tinman831]

What are you going to do if they initiate footsy under the table? I see flashing red lights everywhere.

Depends on how good of a LOR you want. 😉

 

[Impulse155]

Im a guy as is the professor, I dont expect him to hit on me or anything lol plus hes a cool guy. I just never heard of a professor doing this b4

 

[MowgliR]

This happens at my school. How many undergrad students are at your school?

 

[SFO-IST]

Weird, but i'm assuming she/he just wants to get to know you better in an informal setting perhaps?...still weird. I wouldn't pick up the tab though.

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ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Pick up the tab and take them to the best restaurant/coffee place in town.

 

[DJPaulyDDS]

I go to Stony as well.. who is it

 

[CalBearr]

For sure offer to pick up the check (say it's a way of showing your gratitude for him taking the time and effort to write you a great LOR/help you achieve your goals)...it will reflect well on you. If he insists, then say thank you very much for the meal and the letter and don't press it further. I think someone said to offer to go dutch and that's silly and petty. Offer to pick it up and if he doesn't want to allow that then just thank him nicely.

I wouldn't expect it to be an interview, so just be relaxed and try to have good conversation. If there's certain points you want to touch on about your life, etc. then have them in mind so he'll have some polish for the letter.

 

[dantemac]

There is nothing wrong with eating lunch with a TA or professor. Keep things professional. If they offer to pay for the bill, let them. It could be misconstrued as brown-nosing if you attempt to do so. Also, if you are 21 and your host offers you a drink, it would not be bad to accept...however, I would have only one (nurse it).

 

[MowgliR]

If he picks up the tab, tell him thank you and that the next one will be on you.

 

[Impulse155]

There is nothing wrong with eating lunch with a TA or professor. Keep things professional. If they offer to pay for the bill, let them. It could be misconstrued as brown-nosing if you attempt to do so. Also, if you are 21 and your host offers you a drink, it would not be bad to accept...however, I would have only one (nurse it).

Im pretty sure he doesnt drink anymore so I cant order a drink 🙁

 

[Silencio]

Let the professor pay. Otherwise he'll feel cheap.

 

[doc toothache]

There is not much point in asking for an LOR from a prof you apparently do not appear to trust.

 

[brainache]

I had lunch with a couple of my profs both before and after they wrote my letters. No biggie - just another setting for them to get to know more about you and you about them. If your prof asked to have lunch with you, it should be quite obvious why.

 

[ake]

There is not much point in asking for an LOR from a prof you apparently do not appear to trust.

what makes you think OP doesn't trust the prof? it's fair for the OP to have questions about the etiquette and how to prepare for what's essentially an interview (a casual one, but still an interview)

 

[wired202808]

pick up the tab and dont be cheap. insist on paying so the prof feels that you respect them and will write an awesome letter. 👍

 

[Impulse155]

There is not much point in asking for an LOR from a prof you apparently do not appear to trust.

what makes you think OP doesn't trust the prof? it's fair for the OP to have questions about the etiquette and how to prepare for what's essentially an interview (a casual one, but still an interview)

+1, not so much that I dont trust him as much as I just never heard of this so I wasnt sure if this was normal or not. Doesnt seem too much out of the norm as I thought it was though.

 

[wired202808]

+1, not so much that I dont trust him as much as I just never heard of this so I wasnt sure if this was normal or not. Doesnt seem too much out of the norm as I thought it was though.

I think the prof wants to get to know you so he/she can write a good LOR instead of writing some generic fluff. Maybe their just trying to be nice. Unless you're a girl I wouldnt be too concerned about safety issues or anything sexually oriented.

 

[Bereno]

Be polite, but be yourself. Offer to pay for the tab, but if they insist, let them. Overall, if you area girl and do feel uncomfortable during the lunch, just say you have to go and leave. 🙂

 

[varsityblue]

I humbly believe that going to lunch with a prof is a great way to get amazing LORs. Just be certain to keep the conversation centred on academic stuff and to wear a conservative outfit so that, if the prof is male, he doesn't try to make a move on you.

 

[wired202808]

I humbly believe that going to lunch with a prof is a great way to get amazing LORs. Just be certain to keep the conversation centred on academic stuff and to wear a conservative outfit so that, if the prof is male, he doesn't try to make a move on you.

👍👍

 

[wizi]

Wear something pink to show your interest.

 

[longhornpride]

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgoXUzIwXk0[/YOUTUBE]