Telling a program they are no longer #1

[medimedimedi]

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So a while back, I told a program they were my number one, and back then, I really had all intentions of ranking them #1 but now things have changed and I'm most likely not going to match into that program. I have strong reason to believe they were going to rank me to match, so I feel it is only fair to let them know. I loved them and they loved me but unpredictable circumstances happened, so it would feel like backstabbing if I ended up not matching there when they end up ranking me highly. How do I tell them?

 

[Raryn]

So a while back, I told a program they were my number one, and back then, I really had all intentions of ranking them #1 but now things have changed and I'm most likely not going to match into that program. I have strong reason to believe they were going to rank me to match, so I feel it is only fair to let them know. I loved them and they loved me but unpredictable circumstances happened, so it would feel like backstabbing if I ended up not matching there when they end up ranking me highly. How do I tell them?

Uh... Unless you have no intention of ranking this program at all any longer, this sounds like a horrendous idea.

 

[Law2Doc]

So a while back, I told a program they were my number one, and back then, I really had all intentions of ranking them #1 but now things have changed and I'm most likely not going to match into that program. I have strong reason to believe they were going to rank me to match, so I feel it is only fair to let them know. I loved them and they loved me but unpredictable circumstances happened, so it would feel like backstabbing if I ended up not matching there when they end up ranking me highly. How do I tell them?

Unless this is a brand new program and has never been through this before, they probably are skeptical of people telling them they are number 1 anyhow. They are going to rank applicants the way they'd like irrespective of these intent letters, and you should too. No reason to send a subsequent letter ( and a big reason not to).

 

[22031 Alum]

No more contact. Do not tell them anything. They are making their rank list with no regard for your "promise" to rank them. Trust us.

 

[organdonor]

Don't do that.

What if you still match there? And all the faculty you work with everyday know that you would rather be someplace else? You'd start day 1 with a target on your back.

Don't tell them they aren't your #1.

This is why you are vague in your correspondences and should not say anything that specific especially before all your interviews are completed.

 

[medimedimedi]

This is why you don't tell programs they are your number one in November.

I wish someone told me this earlier. Ugh

 

[Goro]

As in real life relationships, they'll get over it.

I loved them and they loved me but unpredictable circumstances happened, so it would feel like backstabbing if I ended up not matching there when they end up ranking me highly. How do I tell them?

 

[Law2Doc]

As in real life relationships, they'll get over it.

Or key your car 🙂.

 

[medimedimedi]

It's like saying I love you on the first date.

it's what happens when you think you're desperate

 

[J ROD]

Yeah, I always used I really like your program and hope you will consider my app seriously. I never have told but 1 they are 1 but have had conversations where I told programs they had a good chance at getting me. They are 2-4 on my list.

You have to be be very careful about how you word things. I feel like I am back in a legal dept.