The "Not mentioned elsewhere" approach to the personal statement?

[panbimbo]

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To be short, I wrote a personal statement draft through a few months of work only for to be deemed sub-par and cliche by my adviser. It was apparently a generic statement that was not unique to me and could have been written about anyone. My adviser advised me to throw this statement to the trash and start from scratch, and to lead with my unique family background and upbringing in a URM community. While I hadn't thought of this before, it makes a lot of sense that my personal statement should focus on my unique and diverse background rather than rehash my activities section.

Is it ok/acceptable/good to write the majority of ones personal statement on things not really relating to the usual stuff like shadowing, clinical experience, volunteering research et cetera? I want to focus my personal statement on my family and my experience growing up in a certain neighborhood and how that has inspired me to give back to my community with medicine. I am just worried that it will not talk as much about examples that point to medicine and will be more general, even though it cannot be mistaken for another applicant.

I don't know if I have gotten this across... basically would it be a bad idea to focus the personal statement on everything except my activities section? Are adcoms expecting me to write about clinical experiences and examples that show I want to do medicine? Or will they be satisfied with a story about my history that is not mentioned elsewhere?

 

[FelicityMD]

Your personal statement should answer the questions: "why do you want to be a physician". I think writing about your unique/URM background is great especially if it answers the above question well.

 

[LizzyM]

What are the issues in your community and how have you positioned yourself to be a person who will someday be qualified to address those issues? I think that is a legit way to approach the "why medicine" question. I guess the assumption is that at least one of the unaddresssed or poorly addressed issues in your community is related to medicine.

 

[OchemOficionado]

Sounds like your advisor got this one right. The PS woudl be boring and redundant if you solely discussed the activities portion of your app. Discussing your background may even be refreshing, just make sure you answer WHY MEDICINE?

 

[965978]

Sounds like your advisor got this one right. The PS woudl be boring and redundant if you solely discussed the activities portion of your app. Discussing your background may even be refreshing, just make sure you answer WHY MEDICINE?

I'm honestly baffled at the number of people that have asked me to read a personal statement draft that is nice to read and well-written but just fails to answer why medicine

People get so caught up in trying to make it sound eloquent, unique, and try to capture the reader to the extent where it falls off the track completely

 

[HopefulErDr]

I'll be honest, as a fellow pre-med it's hard. I just finished a second draft of mine today. It was much different than the first. The first draft I was too concerned with righting the "perfect" personal statement. Rather than focus on how to write it, write from the heart. Go back to what made you think, this is it. For me, it wasn't one moment, it was multiple experiences, so I wrote about them. I think genuinely writing shows the passion much better than trying to force it.

 

[panbimbo]

I'll be honest, as a fellow pre-med it's hard. I just finished a second draft of mine today. It was much different than the first. The first draft I was too concerned with righting the "perfect" personal statement. Rather than focus on how to write it, write from the heart. Go back to what made you think, this is it. For me, it wasn't one moment, it was multiple experiences, so I wrote about them. I think genuinely writing shows the passion much better than trying to force it.

My problem was the opposite. Following my 'heart' was just talking about boring stuff like 'I like science' and 'I love the hospital environment.' I feel like what I'm writing now is more of a stretch but can see how it is more appealing.

 

[salpinx minx]

@panbimbo remember that your whole application should tell a story. also remember that there are thousands of kids applying who also like science and like being in hospitals. anything you have that can make you stand apart - that's the story you want to tell. focus on what makes you different from your other premed friends. so while i agree with the "why medicine" approach, it's also "why medicine for you" approach.

another mistake i see a lot of people making is trying to describe too many things in their PS. you can't describe every single thing you've ever done related to medicine - but, you can show them a snapshot of who you are. both the activities you write about and the way you write can give them a taste of your personality. i personally like the approach of focusing in on a single experience, and then zooming out to show why that experience was a microcosm of all the reasons why you want to do medicine.

 

[panbimbo]

@panbimbo remember that your whole application should tell a story. also remember that there are thousands of kids applying who also like science and like being in hospitals. anything you have that can make you stand apart - that's the story you want to tell. focus on what makes you different from your other premed friends. so while i agree with the "why medicine" approach, it's also "why medicine for you" approach.

another mistake i see a lot of people making is trying to describe too many things in their PS. you can't describe every single thing you've ever done related to medicine - but, you can show them a snapshot of who you are. both the activities you write about and the way you write can give them a taste of your personality. i personally like the approach of focusing in on a single experience, and then zooming out to show why that experience was a microcosm of all the reasons why you want to do medicine.

Thanks for your reply. My main fear is writing on a theoretical level and not giving specific examples from volunteering or shadowing to show why medicine. For me it has been gradual and not a lifechanging event that made me want to pursue the field.

 

[salpinx minx]

Thanks for your reply. My main fear is writing on a theoretical level and not giving specific examples from volunteering or shadowing to show why medicine. For me it has been gradual and not a lifechanging event that made me want to pursue the field.

I totally get that, and for most people it is a gradual process and not a single life-changing event. But, for an adcom who has read 5,000 personal statements, "I always was interested in medicine and gradually the pieces fell into place" probably isn't going to be very memorable. You can spice up that story and still be telling the truth. Anything that makes your uniqueness shine through - that's what an adcom will remember. I think telling a "story" or giving a "snapshot" is the best way to do this, but that's just my opinion (I agree, DON'T write on a theoretical level!)