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I am writing this post in hopes of advising some pre-med student who, like me, received little to no guidance with their medical school application before submitting to AMCAS, and is therefore privy to make mistakes that other applicants are otherwise wary of. In particular, I crafted a personal statement which, in retrospect, I believe may have been one of the worst in the entire applicant pool, if not in all of recent history. This is not a joke. It was literally an exercise of everything you should NOT do when writing a medical school essay. With the constructive criticism I have been given by peers, and the time for reflection that I have been afforded over the past few months, I am fortunate to say that I now know better.
My error was an act of ignorance, not of negligence - and one which I paid for dearly. Many members of SDN community may not be able to relate to this, seeing as how this entire site is dedicated to the efforts of pre-med support and counsel. Unfortunately, I did not know about SDN at the time of that I completed my medical school application. I will not post the actual text of the essay here, in fear that some medical schools will see it, recognize me as its author, and perhaps reconsider my admission (am I being paranoid here: absolutely). This is notwithstanding the essay's potential and to become immortalized by the online community as some pre-med abomination, in line with the Ecce Homo restoration. Nevertheless, I do not wish other students to befall the same fate I did, so I will take the liberty to discuss some of its details. Hopefully, my failure will spare the failures of others in the future.
On to the specifics: my personal statement used multiple quotes (e.g., "Hippocrates said that"), was prolix, and generally unspecific in its scope. I mentioned many formative life experiences in passing, without focusing in on any one in particular as being integral to my medical aspirations. The essay was an exercise of style, not of substance, and made me come off as an insincere and arrogant student who felt he was special and somehow deserved to be a doctor. This is a shame, because this impression could not be farther from the truth; I consider it a privilege to enter the fraternity of medicine. I then went on to discuss how most pre-medical students have wholly insufficient reasons for entering the profession, and how the idea of life-changing revelations is mostly a myth (e.g., that stories in line with "When I saw how the doctor fixed my brother's broken arm, I knew instantly I wanted to be a doctor" were dishonest).
In many ways, my skills and passion for writing actually got in the way of me creating an effective personal statement. If your natural literary style is of a florid nature like mine is, you might want to consider tuning it down a notch. Don't alienate your reader with elaborate language. Medical school admission committee members are generally not English PhDs. They read through hundreds of these essays every day and become easily exasperated by trite themes and haughty tones.
Furthermore, always develop your essay from something personal and powerful. Most of all, be specific and “prove” to the reader that you want to be a physician by means of example. Show, don't tell. Ideally, you will be able to draw upon specific events and anecdotes in your history to illustrate your point. Your personal statement is much more about demonstrating the logical path that leads you to medical school than it is an expose of your writing skills. William Faulkner himself could draft your personal statement for you, and it wouldn’t mean a thing if you didn’t give him a compelling story to start from. Watch out for grammatical mistakes and spelling error to be sure, but don't overwhelm yourself with the more superficial attributes of the essay. Be genuine, and say something interesting. If you take a chance and decide to write about something risky, you better have the finesse to pull it off.
Here's the last point that no one ever talks about; it's probably the most important point too. You really start writing your essay by doing and living. Your essay is only as good as your experiences are. If you have not truly had the shadowing exposure, volunteer opportunities, health crises, personal sacrifices, epiphanies, etc. that typically apprise one of an inner desire to enter medicine, then your essay is going to be lacking... period. If you cannot find the proper fodder for this essay, then you are either not digging deep enough, or you need to reconsider your motivations for doing all of this in the first place. Think of it this way: if the story is there, then all you have to do is put it into words. And that's really not so hard, is it?
I hope this post has been helpful to someone out there who, like me, was lost in the chaos of the application process, with no one to turn to for advice. It may be hard to believe that someone could be so off mark in their execution, but I am proof that it's possible to remain in the dark even when your intentions are wholly good. Best of luck to all of you in writing your personal statements. And remember why it is that we strive to be doctors in the first place: to care for humanity. If fall back on that motivation, you cannot help but succeed.
My error was an act of ignorance, not of negligence - and one which I paid for dearly. Many members of SDN community may not be able to relate to this, seeing as how this entire site is dedicated to the efforts of pre-med support and counsel. Unfortunately, I did not know about SDN at the time of that I completed my medical school application. I will not post the actual text of the essay here, in fear that some medical schools will see it, recognize me as its author, and perhaps reconsider my admission (am I being paranoid here: absolutely). This is notwithstanding the essay's potential and to become immortalized by the online community as some pre-med abomination, in line with the Ecce Homo restoration. Nevertheless, I do not wish other students to befall the same fate I did, so I will take the liberty to discuss some of its details. Hopefully, my failure will spare the failures of others in the future.
On to the specifics: my personal statement used multiple quotes (e.g., "Hippocrates said that"), was prolix, and generally unspecific in its scope. I mentioned many formative life experiences in passing, without focusing in on any one in particular as being integral to my medical aspirations. The essay was an exercise of style, not of substance, and made me come off as an insincere and arrogant student who felt he was special and somehow deserved to be a doctor. This is a shame, because this impression could not be farther from the truth; I consider it a privilege to enter the fraternity of medicine. I then went on to discuss how most pre-medical students have wholly insufficient reasons for entering the profession, and how the idea of life-changing revelations is mostly a myth (e.g., that stories in line with "When I saw how the doctor fixed my brother's broken arm, I knew instantly I wanted to be a doctor" were dishonest).
In many ways, my skills and passion for writing actually got in the way of me creating an effective personal statement. If your natural literary style is of a florid nature like mine is, you might want to consider tuning it down a notch. Don't alienate your reader with elaborate language. Medical school admission committee members are generally not English PhDs. They read through hundreds of these essays every day and become easily exasperated by trite themes and haughty tones.
Furthermore, always develop your essay from something personal and powerful. Most of all, be specific and “prove” to the reader that you want to be a physician by means of example. Show, don't tell. Ideally, you will be able to draw upon specific events and anecdotes in your history to illustrate your point. Your personal statement is much more about demonstrating the logical path that leads you to medical school than it is an expose of your writing skills. William Faulkner himself could draft your personal statement for you, and it wouldn’t mean a thing if you didn’t give him a compelling story to start from. Watch out for grammatical mistakes and spelling error to be sure, but don't overwhelm yourself with the more superficial attributes of the essay. Be genuine, and say something interesting. If you take a chance and decide to write about something risky, you better have the finesse to pull it off.
Here's the last point that no one ever talks about; it's probably the most important point too. You really start writing your essay by doing and living. Your essay is only as good as your experiences are. If you have not truly had the shadowing exposure, volunteer opportunities, health crises, personal sacrifices, epiphanies, etc. that typically apprise one of an inner desire to enter medicine, then your essay is going to be lacking... period. If you cannot find the proper fodder for this essay, then you are either not digging deep enough, or you need to reconsider your motivations for doing all of this in the first place. Think of it this way: if the story is there, then all you have to do is put it into words. And that's really not so hard, is it?
I hope this post has been helpful to someone out there who, like me, was lost in the chaos of the application process, with no one to turn to for advice. It may be hard to believe that someone could be so off mark in their execution, but I am proof that it's possible to remain in the dark even when your intentions are wholly good. Best of luck to all of you in writing your personal statements. And remember why it is that we strive to be doctors in the first place: to care for humanity. If fall back on that motivation, you cannot help but succeed.
