Tired of the candy that is Nursing....

[psycho-matic]

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So, not here really looking for advice, per say. Just wanting to vent. The recent EMT thread brought my own situation to the forefront for me. I have wanted to be a doctor for as long as I can remember. A string of bad choices during my early undergrad years lead to me getting mostly F's for a couple semesters and then ultimately dropping out of school for a year when I got my fiancé pregnant and was in over my head with debt. My son is 6 now and I have stayed very involved in his life. After a year of being out of school, I went back and finished my biology degree, still making a couple C's in some bio courses (although most were A/B) and a D in org 2 chem. I had scratched med school off the list at this point because I knew it would be too time demanding with my wanting to be an involved parent. So I opted for nursing school instead, settling for it because it offered job security, decent income and exposure to the medical field.


Fast forward to now. I'm a RN 6 months out of school, working a post-surgical intermediate care unit at a major tertiary medical center. I take care of really sick patients and get that critical care buzz that some nurses crave. I'm planning on transferring to one of the many ICU's soon. However, the more time I spend on the unit, the more I realize that what I know is only the tip of the iceberg. I work with some phenomenal surgeons and physicians (and with a few exceptions, they are very friendly to work with). The more I work with them, day-by-day, I grow more envious of the positions they are in. I am constantly asking them questions, wanting to learn more. With each day at work, my desire to become a physician is growing. I feel that being a nurse will never be enough for me – and I don't mean that in any way to be demeaning to nurses. Nurses do a wonderful job and are a vital part of healthcare. But the knowledge level and autonomy of a nurse simply is not satisfying. I want to be the expert and the ultimate one responsible for the patient. As odd as it sounds, I want to be the person with a pager taking call and having the final say-so regarding patient care.


Due to a change of circumstances, I am probably going to be a full-time parent soon (and I am excited about that). However, I know that isn't compatible with med school, and my kid must come first. I have been accepted to NP school and start in August, because I want to improve my standard of living and eventually get off the floor as a nurse. However, I know that too will not be enough. It breaks my heart that I feel med school is not longer a viable option for me. I need to find a healthy way to deal with these emotions. They are really depressing me as of late.

 

[Ranniks]

Listen bro.......

Being a doctor is not everything in the world. Do you honestly think a hospital can run without nurses? Nurses are like the wheels while the doctors are the engines. Missing either will result in a car that is useless.

Just stay friendly, don't become envious, actually enjoy the good and praisable work you are doing and live life.

Nurses earn good these days I've heard. And you do get patient interaction, right? So yeah.....

I'm trying to get into med school, but if it doesn't work out that way....Sure I'll feel bad, but I would at least have tried.

You have tried in thinking of getting into one. You have set your son first, which is the most logical and best thing to do. Why let your child grow up with you having a massive debt to pay off? Family>career if you'd have to choose right now.

You could MOST LIKELY still become a doctor. But realise you will have to loan. If you are willing to bust your ass off working to become a doctor. Hours of physics, math, bio, chemistry and reading passages and then years of hours of medical training await you. But if you know you won't give up even if it seems like the world is falling on your shoulders, then you will absolutely succeed. Believe in God and you will have someone to guide you as well.

But again, a becoming a doctor isn't everything in life. How many doctors are there in comparison to ALL jobs in the world? And do you think those doctors can do their job properly without computers or software? Good luck with that. Computer engineers are important too.

Or what about the garbage man picking up the trash every day? Without them the streets would be filthy. Bad comparison, but still.

 

[FrkyBgStok]

I have 3 kids and am happily starting med school. So......you are incorrect. Make it happen.

And you don't need god, you need a plan.

 

[Abider]

Well. You should take heart for several reasons. First, an NP is a clinical job. You will have a clinical role, replete with the challenge and responsibility of making the right decisions. And if autonomy is what you want then probably the most undeserved areas with the greatest need will also offer the most autonomy. Otherwise it may vary.

One thing you should do is re-read your post with this in mind: you're claiming 2 sides of a paradox. Your kids come first but you want the surgeon's pager. I'm doing 80 hours a week as a medical student my surgery rotation with none of stress of responsibility and I'm exhausted. Such that the other aspects of my game as a human flat suck.

No matter what anybody tells you, especially a surgeon, your kids won't come first working like that. If I had kids right now, I would set them free back in the wild, to go their own way, and have a chance to start over with another father. Kidding, but I suck so bad being me right now that I really just don't recommend this for parents of young children. Be awesome and pay the price and do it and I'll be the first to congratulate. But that doesn't mean I think it's a sane thing to do.

But I suppose neither is going for the gold in Curling. But, apparently, there are people who dream of it.

 

[psycho-matic]

I have 3 kids and am happily starting med school. So......you are incorrect. Make it happen.

And you don't need god, you need a plan.

Are you married? I think that makes all the difference. If I have a supportive spouse down the road, perhaps, but I fill that would be asking my spouse to give up a lot (in terms of not having me around much during med school and possibly residency). I cannot fathom raising a small child during med school alone - the hours I would be required to be away, especially during 3rd and 4th year, would make it difficult to meet my son's needs. Family doesn't live nearby, and finding 24/7 childcare would be a nightmare. Definitely not in the best interest of my kid. Not like I could afford a nanny on med school loans or even a resident's salary. Let's not even think about residency's crazy hours.

In regards to the other poster talking about surgery, regardless of whether I have a child or not, I am not someone who wants to work 80 hours a week for the rest of my life. So, if accepted, I would be conscious of specialties that promote having a life outside of work. I find both EM and anesthesiology very interesting and could see myself doing either. I like hands-on work and focusing on one patient at a time. I think I would also enjoy OB.

My son will be an adult by the time I'm 40..so maybe one day.

 

[TriagePreMed]

I am a bit confused by the post. It seems you want to be a doctor but are also convinced you cannot become one because of your child. Are you just trying to vent or find a way to make it into medical school and make it work?

 

[psycho-matic]

I am a bit confused by the post. It seems you want to be a doctor but are also convinced you cannot become one because of your child. Are you just trying to vent or find a way to make it into medical school and make it work?

Was more venting than anything.

 

[mspeedwagon]

I realize you are not looking for advice, but venting alone isn't going to help. There are two ways to go: a) accept that an NP position will be good (it's clinical, you get some autonomy and you're off the floors) OR b) work to get into medical school. There are options out there where you recover from a bad academic record (it just takes time).

My gf is doing surgical residency now and it sucks. I barely see her, and she's completely exhausted when I do. She easily work 100 hrs. I would stray far away from this with kids (you'll never seen them). That said, if you like this, surgical PA is a great idea. You get to do similar work, some autonomy and work life balance.

Don't vent; decide what you want and work to achieve it. Life is too short to be depressed.

 

[jl lin]

I realize you are not looking for advice, but venting alone isn't going to help. There are two ways to go: a) accept that an NP position will be good (it's clinical, you get some autonomy and you're off the floors) OR b) work to get into medical school. There are options out there where you recover from a bad academic record (it just takes time).

My gf is doing surgical residency now and it sucks. I barely see her, and she's completely exhausted when I do. She easily work 100 hrs. I would stray far away from this with kids (you'll never seen them). That said, if you like this, surgical PA is a great idea. You get to do similar work, some autonomy and work life balance.

Don't vent; decide what you want and work to achieve it. Life is too short to be depressed.

So true. Worked with many a surgical resident. It's beyond brutal. I think you have to be 10,000% into it to be a surgeon. Yes, mostly I work in critical care, open heart, etc. But over many years, I have seen those folks getting beaten all to hell. True, someone has to do it and do it exceeding well. But I think you have to love it beyond love. I am amazed at the SRs and fellows that are men and will never be pregnant but have kids. It's really hard on them.
And I can't imagine being pregnant and doing that surgery. For that matter, I can't imagine doing OB residency and being pregnant. I am certain it has been done; but I am also certain it's a whole other level of FAR FROM EASY. Even critical care medicine can be a real butt kicker.
I worked with a pediatric CCM MD who worked herself sick through pregnancy and her fellowship. I mean she lost so much weight. It's amazing she carried to term. Came back to work after, stressed to the gills--stress induced anorexia big time.


OP, I applaud your dreams and don't discourage you in any way. But as a well worn critical care RN, let me tell you. Six months ain't nothing. Seriously, you aren't even in novice mode yet. Work for in it while you are taking prereqs for med school. Get some real perspective. You are still in the dreamy mode of things.

Do try to get into a critical unit, like a strong university hospital ICU, where you can learn a lot of medicine. No. . . .not like to the comprehensive level and degree that physicians do; but you will learn so many cool things about the thinking processes. . . and so many docs love to teach. . .and there are so many wild cases that you can explore more information and grow in learning. You will learn the basics of so many things that many people that don't work in it realize (or some nurses that really don't care many not learn that well.) (sad)
I enjoyed learning hemodynamics and all the pharm actions on patients and following the indices and labs. I enjoy doing rounds with docs and going over the films and or whatever. No, not all will take the time with you, but once a number of them get to know and trust you, they will. My point is, you have just barely gotten your feet wet. Work toward getting in an intensive care unit or even a strong ED. (I just think you get more time to think about the details of what's going on physiologically as a nurse in the busy, university-level ICU--well, as compared with ED nurses. ED you learn a lot about a lot of things--but in intensive, critical care areas, you can really hone in on stuff.)

So if you do that, you will see a lot. Follow the residents' and fellows' side of things--it all ain't candy from their end for sure. Then you can decide if NP is more to your liking, or if you would rather go the harder, more painful, and more expensive medical school route. NP school ain't cheap either. . .so why waste money and time on that if you want to be a physician?

Just saying. Good luck with whatever you choose.

 

[Law2Doc]

Was more venting than anything.

Med school will still be there in ten years if you really want it.