To hook or not to hook on essay?

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sleeper11

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I was just wondering if would be better to add a hook to the personal statement or not to add a hook? I originally thought it was best to add a hook to grab the reader's attention and stand out, but I have just been told that I shouldn't….because it sounds contrived and a bit cliche….opinion/experience anyone?
 
What kind of hook? Are sirens or flashing lights involved?
 
If you can do it well, go for it.
 
sleeper11 said:
I was just wondering if would be better to add a hook to the personal statement or not to add a hook? I originally thought it was best to add a hook to grab the reader's attention and stand out, but I have just been told that I shouldn't….because it sounds contrived and a bit cliche….opinion/experience anyone?
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It's a late night in the hospital. Alarms ring out as the ventilators hum quietly through the unit, like crickets on a cool summer night. I look down at my phone and notice a new thread on SDN: To hook or not to hook? I think to myself, "please God, no."
 
jonnythan said:
What exactly do you mean by a hook?
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sorry if i wasn't clear….hook: something creative/catchy that pulls (metaphorically) the reader in. It could be like an anecdote, quote, etc. I wanted to start my essay with a popular phrase/saying….something like "everything happens for a reason" <--obviously it is not this exact phrase. Don't want to post the exact phrase i wanted to use but it is a popular saying.
 
Ok, the subject title was a pretty cheap and a bad idea….sorry no puns or play-on-words next time!
 
sleeper11 said:
sorry if i wasn't clear….hook: something creative/catchy that pulls (metaphorically) the reader in. It could be like an anecdote, quote, etc. I wanted to start my essay with a popular phrase/saying….something like "everything happens for a reason" <--obviously it is not this exact phrase. Don't want to post the exact phrase i wanted to use but it is a popular saying.
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I like this approach... makes me want to keep reading... what happened??
 
sleeper11 said:
sorry if i wasn't clear….hook: something creative/catchy that pulls (metaphorically) the reader in. It could be like an anecdote, quote, etc. I wanted to start my essay with a popular phrase/saying….something like "everything happens for a reason" <--obviously it is not this exact phrase. Don't want to post the exact phrase i wanted to use but it is a popular saying.
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You want to draw them in, but avoiding cliched sayings is something to aim for!
 
Depends. I used a hook for the first few lines of my essay, but it was really something that is kind of unrelated to typical medical stuff, and I don't expect many applicants to have it. Mainly just to draw the reader in. But I agree, if it is a common "late night in the ER with lightning outside" type of thing, probably not so good. If it is deeper than that and tied throughout the whole essay, it could be interesting.

tmn said:
It's a late night in the hospital. Alarms ring out as the ventilators hum quietly through the unit, like crickets on a cool summer night. I look down at my phone and notice a new thread on SDN: To hook or not to hook? I think to myself, "please God, no."
Click to expand...

You have no idea how hard this made me crack up.
 
LizzyM said:
Lights and sirens are the most cliched! Ditto, anything involving what looks like a screenplay or a script.
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"Call me sleeper11. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me at college, I thought I would roam about a little and see the medical part of the world."
 
Always go for the hook.. just make sure you pull it off!
 
I started with a hook. No lights, no sirens, but a patient in my care almost died and my limited medical qualifications left me once again wishing I could contribute more. The last sentence of the first paragraph perfectly answered why I wanted to become a physician. Anytime somebody asked me why medicine / why medical school / why do I want to be a doctor, I smoothly recited that sentence word for word.

Accepted on the first try.
 
If you are good at hooking (that sounds *so* wrong), go for it.

If you suck at it, don't hook.

A bad hook can lead to a bad result.

I think we can safely say don't use a double entendre in a personal statement as that can never go over well.
 
I think I "hooked" in my PS. First six words should automatically raise an eyebrow. It's nothing like "everything happens for a reason," but it grabs attention.
 
It doesn't necessarily need to be anything super special... just a sentence that grabs their attention.
 
Strive to involve your reader. Your first few sentences are your opportunity to make a good first impression. Trite phrases and cliches won't stand out, but a well-crafted, action-driven opener will help you to get a complete read through and make your statement memorable. Don't tell your reader what a good candidate you are, show them why you shine.
 
If you're going to attempt to do this, make sure your PS/essay is read by multiple - meaning 5+ - people and get their feedback. Ideally these people should have some experience reading personal statements or otherwise know of medical admissions and not just be strong writers.

There's nothing inherently wrong with "hooks," but the problem is two-fold: 1) most people aren't strong writers and likely think their abilities are stronger than they are, and 2) most "hooks" aren't successfully executed and end up being nothing more than sources of cringing.

A boring but genuine and informative personal statement is fine. Not everything needs to start with a first-person account of some dramatic moment involving a patient and/or explosions. And if you're going to go that route, again, do yourself a favor and please, please, please have someone look over it.
 
One thing I noticed in a lot of the personal statements that I offered to read on here was a hook that seemed too "shocking" to me, like descriptive details of friend's suicide/suicidal ideation or abuse of other people. I always suggested getting a second opinion, but told these people that their hooks were almost off-putting.

How do adcoms view hooks like that? Do they do the job of drawing in the reader and are they thus good, or are hooks that are too "strong" also something to avoid?
 
areserine said:
One thing I noticed in a lot of the personal statements that I offered to read on here was a hook that seemed too "shocking" to me, like descriptive details of friend's suicide/suicidal ideation or abuse of other people. I always suggested getting a second opinion, but told these people that their hooks were almost off-putting.

How do adcoms view hooks like that? Do they do the job of drawing in the reader and are they thus good, or are hooks that are too "strong" also something to avoid?
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No, don't do that. This is part of an application to professional school, not a clinic in creative writing.

This is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about in my previous post.
 
In general, I was taught to never use "common" sayings in my writing to avoid sounding fake....."lifelong learner," "where there is a will there is a way," "piqued my interest," "but I was determined to succeed, "for as long as I can remember," etc
 
NickNaylor said:
If you're going to attempt to do this, make sure your PS/essay is read by multiple - meaning 5+ - people and get their feedback. Ideally these people should have some experience reading personal statements or otherwise know of medical admissions and not just be strong writers.

There's nothing inherently wrong with "hooks," but the problem is two-fold: 1) most people aren't strong writers and likely think their abilities are stronger than they are, and 2) most "hooks" aren't successfully executed and end up being nothing more than sources of cringing.

A boring but genuine and informative personal statement is fine. Not everything needs to start with a first-person account of some dramatic moment involving a patient and/or explosions. And if you're going to go that route, again, do yourself a favor and please, please, please have someone look over it.
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This is why I want to get lots of writing practice before starting my PS.

So many people over estimate their writing abilities. I'm all for grabbing someone's attention, but don't be cliché or cringe worthy.

OP, I wound generally advise against using a "common saying". Those are cliché and make you sound insincere. Even if you're trying to approach it from a new angle or tie it in and do something "unique", people try that so often that it makes it even worse, and almost no one executes that well.

Also, a "hook" doesn't have to be some crazy, shocking, mellow dramatic line. Just make sure you're first line "draws them in". That doesn't mean it has to be shocking or super "clever" on its own. It just needs to make them want to read the rest of your PS. That's the purpose of a hook.
 
Good hooks are good, bad hooks make you seem like you are trying too hard. A good hook will make it more likely the reader remembers you and your essay. Definitely no "famous" quotes or definitions to start your essay.

sleeper11 said:
sorry if i wasn't clear….hook: something creative/catchy that pulls (metaphorically) the reader in. It could be like an anecdote, quote, etc. I wanted to start my essay with a popular phrase/saying….something like "everything happens for a reason" <--obviously it is not this exact phrase. Don't want to post the exact phrase i wanted to use but it is a popular saying.
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My personal preference is not to use sayings that are too popular unless you have a new take on them. To me they show lack of creativity (again, unless you present them in a new way). Other people may like them, though.

Some methods I enjoy (for writing in general) are: starting with unexpected comparisons, describing a scene in a surprising and possibly ambiguous enough manner that the reader wants to know more, and throwing the reader straight into some sort of "action."
 
boomshaketheroom said:
Some methods I enjoy (for writing in general) are: starting with unexpected comparisons, describing a scene in a surprising and possibly ambiguous enough manner that the reader wants to know more, and throwing the reader straight into some sort of "action."
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These are also things I'm referring to in my first post. I can't reiterate enough that anyone attempting to use devices like this should have their PS looked over by multiple people prior to submitting it to make sure it doesn't read poorly.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I hooked, but I guarantee in a way no one has ever hooked before. Wouldn't have hooked if I didn't know I could be original about it. It worked for me, but let me stress, please, hook with caution. If you don't have a legit hookworthy life experience, you're going to be doing the bad kind of hooking (but not the kind that involves corners and cheap drugs). Nothing is worse than a hook that leads boring places.
 
As someone who has read thousands and thousands of these statements, I can say that a properly employed hook will be beneficial. Everyone has their own take on what makes a PS great but surprisingly most students submit PSs that read pretty much the same. At least 60% will say something along the lines of a personal or family illness caused them to consider medicine and the other 40% will say because they want to help people and save the world. My advice is try to be original and honest. -Admissions Advice Online
 
Admissions to Medicine said:
As someone who has read thousands and thousands of these statements, I can say that a properly employed hook will be beneficial. Everyone has their own take on what makes a PS great but surprisingly most students submit PSs that read pretty much the same. At least 60% will say something along the lines of a personal or family illness caused them to consider medicine and the other 40% will say because they want to help people and save the world. My advice is try to be original and honest. -Admissions Advice Online
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How precise are the family stories? Because I have one in there, but there is a very serious significance to it. 9 women in 4 generations on the maternal side of my family tree all with breast cancer (and we are BRCA1 BRCA2 negative)
 
NickNaylor said:
These are also things I'm referring to in my first post. I can't reiterate enough that anyone attempting to use devices like this should have their PS looked over by multiple people prior to submitting it to make sure it doesn't read poorly.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

Definitely true. I've written plenty of "hooks" that I later read and wondered why I ever thought someone would enjoy reading it. Anything like that is a gamble if you don't have someone read it over. It can even be a gamble if someone does read it over. Different people enjoy reading different types of writing and you don't know what the person reading your PS likes.
 
baxt1412 said:
How precise are the family stories? Because I have one in there, but there is a very serious significance to it. 9 women in 4 generations on the maternal side of my family tree all with breast cancer (and we are BRCA1 BRCA2 negative)
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You are not the only one with this experience, and while how you react to it and how it informed your decision to become a physician might be novel, the circumstances in and of themselves aren't that out of the ordinary. Many applicants include specific anecdotes of family members (or themselves) dealing with a variety of diseases.
 
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