tone of the Personal Statement

[beakdoc]

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Hello,

I have been polishing up my personal statement and have gotten some mixed feedback from some reviewers.
I have worked in the dental field for a few years and have learned a lot from witnessing a lot of positive examples as well as negative ones. I feel that both added great value to my experience as a whole.
I am wondering if mentioning this in my statement could give the wrong impression by making the readers think that I am criticizing other providers.

 

[macsak]

Hello,

I have been polishing up my personal statement and have gotten some mixed feedback from some reviewers.
I have worked in the dental field for a few years and have learned a lot from witnessing a lot of positive examples as well as negative ones. I feel that both added great value to my experience as a whole.
I am wondering if mentioning this in my statement could give the wrong impression by making the readers think that I am criticizing other providers.

don't be negative...

 

[beakdoc]

don't be negative...

Thanks for the reply.
I said: "I also found value in the less than positive experiences that were in disregard of ethics and even the Hippocratic Oath, serving as good lessons of what to avoid". In the ethical dilemma section, I gave a specific example.
Do you think that the phrase has a negative tone?

 

[PerioDont]

Thanks for the reply.
I said: "I also found value in the less than positive experiences that were in disregard of ethics and even the Hippocratic Oath, serving as good lessons of what to avoid". In the ethical dilemma section, I gave a specific example.
Do you think that the phrase has a negative tone?

yes.

you are not in a position to criticize anyone as a pre dent.

 

[beakdoc]

yes.

you are not in a position to criticize anyone as a pre dent.

That is an interesting take that I truly hope not all members of the profession share.

 

[Jackson-Ave-Dental]

Do: Keep the tone positive because this isn't a sob story.
Don't: Criticize.
Do: Recognize that there are negatives in the industry but keep it brief and as positive as possible without throwing anyone under the bus.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Your PS should be about you and what you contribute to dentistry in an approachable way. It is not a chance to discuss the health care system.

 

[doc toothache]

That is an interesting take that I truly hope not all members of the profession share.

While bashing another colleague may or may not be common among dentists, they, at least, have some credentials behind their names that makes them a great deal more credible than a pre dent with a da licence or a quasi da.

 

[macsak]

That is an interesting take that I truly hope not all members of the profession share.

sounds like you had already made up your mind about what you are gonna do even before you asked the question...

 

[beakdoc]

Thank you for all your replies. I was trying to express that both positive and negative experiences add value toward one's development, but I do not want it to be perceived the wrong way. I was genuinely trying the gauge the general stance on this without causing others to feel personally attacked.
My credentials are not limited to a "quasi DA", as someone assumed, and I have had the opportunity to work in the field on two continents for a number of years. While attacking other providers is obviously unprofessional, I believe that even a 20 yr old traditional applicant should possess enough discernment regarding circumstances such as the intentional use of non-sterile instruments in invasive procedures.
Lastly, modesty should not be lost as we add more letters behind our names. Just like education, it should be something that is continuously cultivated, thus allowing you to continue to learn and evolve as a provider.

 

[Redwing9]

Thank you for all your replies. I was trying to express that both positive and negative experiences add value toward one's development, but I do not want it to be perceived the wrong way. I was genuinely trying the gauge the general stance on this without causing others to feel personally attacked.
My credentials are not limited to a "quasi DA", as someone assumed, and I have had the opportunity to work in the field on two continents for a number of years. While attacking other providers is obviously unprofessional, I believe that even a 20 yr old traditional applicant should possess enough discernment regarding circumstances such as the intentional use of non-sterile instruments in invasive procedures.
Lastly, modesty should not be lost as we add more letters behind our names. Just like education, it should be something that is continuously cultivated, thus allowing you to continue to learn and evolve as a provider.

If you want to talk about it that's fun and I wish you luck. Realize you are going to open yourself up to some tough ethical questions. Did you report the dentist? Why or why not and many more... Usually, the ethical questions they may ask are low risk your case will be real and they will be able to judge your character. If your answer is no I didn't report the issue don't mention it IMO they will either judge you as lacking morals yourself or as a coward. In reality you're probably just trying to get some shadowing hours in trying not to burn bridges on the way to applying to dental school but IDK how they will read it.

Just generally my thoughts are to not mention it. Keep the PS about yourself, if you really want to mention it keep it in a positive light. ~something I admire about dentistry are the values we hold, to uphold an oath to do no harm, to not cut corners, and to provide the best treatment possible for every patient.

Good luck with your application

 

[macsak]

Thank you for all your replies. I was trying to express that both positive and negative experiences add value toward one's development, but I do not want it to be perceived the wrong way. I was genuinely trying the gauge the general stance on this without causing others to feel personally attacked.
My credentials are not limited to a "quasi DA", as someone assumed, and I have had the opportunity to work in the field on two continents for a number of years. While attacking other providers is obviously unprofessional, I believe that even a 20 yr old traditional applicant should possess enough discernment regarding circumstances such as the intentional use of non-sterile instruments in invasive procedures.
Lastly, modesty should not be lost as we add more letters behind our names. Just like education, it should be something that is continuously cultivated, thus allowing you to continue to learn and evolve as a provider.

no one feels personally attacked
well, the last part was kind of a lecture...

 

[beakdoc]

If you want to talk about it that's fun and I wish you luck. Realize you are going to open yourself up to some tough ethical questions. Did you report the dentist? Why or why not and many more... Usually, the ethical questions they may ask are low risk your case will be real and they will be able to judge your character. If your answer is no I didn't report the issue don't mention it IMO they will either judge you as lacking morals yourself or as a coward. In reality you're probably just trying to get some shadowing hours in trying not to burn bridges on the way to applying to dental school but IDK how they will read it.

Just generally my thoughts are to not mention it. Keep the PS about yourself, if you really want to mention it keep it in a positive light. ~something I admire about dentistry are the values we hold, to uphold an oath to do no harm, to not cut corners, and to provide the best treatment possible for every patient.

Good luck with your application

"Something I admire about dentistry are the values we hold, to uphold an oath to do no harm, to not cut corners, and to provide the best treatment possible for every patient" - I like that, but I tried my best to show it via examples. It's a challenge to really sell yourself in 4500 characters or less.

Thank you for the insight. I have a significantly worse example I was thinking about using for an ethical dilemma question. It was something I have witnessed abroad and I resigned my position as well as reported the office over it. It was an intentional breach in protocol that was putting the patient's health at risk.
Based on the responses on this forum, I will have to consider alternative, although that experience blows pretty much anything else out of the water.

 

[beakdoc]

no one feels personally attacked
well, the last part was kind of a lecture...

Last part was an observation.
Keep in mind that some of your "DAs" have equivalent degrees to DDS / DMD from other parts of the world. Just because there is no reciprocity, it does not mean that they are stupid or less educated. It is by mere luck that you are not is the position of having to go to school again to get that "other country's" degree.
Also, as a non-native speaker, it can be difficult to sniff out what could give someone the wrong impression regarding perceived tone of a written text.

 

[Redwing9]

"Something I admire about dentistry are the values we hold, to uphold an oath to do no harm, to not cut corners, and to provide the best treatment possible for every patient" - I like that, but I tried my best to show it via examples. It's a challenge to really sell yourself in 4500 characters or less.

Thank you for the insight. I have a significantly worse example I was thinking about using for an ethical dilemma question. It was something I have witnessed abroad and I resigned my position as well as reported the office over it. It was an intentional breach in protocol that was putting the patient's health at risk.
Based on the responses on this forum, I will have to consider alternative, although that experience blows pretty much anything else out of the water.

If you have a fantastic story to tell write a book.

Today you need to get into dental school and talk about who you are not what you've seen.
What's your life been like so far, how did you find dentistry, and what qualities of dentistry drew you in enough to pursue it for 8 years + the rest of your life?
What qualities or goals do you have that make dentistry the right fit for you and you the right fit for dentistry?

 

[Bigjt1420]

You sound like the person we see at interviews that thinks they know everything, are holier than thou, and sit on their high horse. Look nobody is saying every dentist is amazing, or honest for that matter. But as a pre-dent, regardless of your experience, you really have no idea about the inner workings of the profession when you get out in the real world. Worry about getting into school, becoming a dentist, and then your voice will carry further. It's how it is in every profession. Finally, if you want to help those who are less fortunate than we are in the United States, go give out free dental care after you graduate. I'm personally looking into providing dental care to the homeless here in the States a few days a month. Good luck to you.

 

[PerioDont]

You sound like the person we see at interviews that thinks they know everything, are holier than thou, and sit on their high horse. Look nobody is saying every dentist is amazing, or honest for that matter. But as a pre-dent, regardless of your experience, you really have no idea about the inner workings of the profession when you get out in the real world. Worry about getting into school, becoming a dentist, and then your voice will carry further. It's how it is in every profession. Finally, if you want to help those who are less fortunate than we are in the United States, go give out free dental care after you graduate. I'm personally looking into providing dental care to the homeless here in the States a few days a month. Good luck to you.

My exact thoughts on reading this.

It may just be how things are written, but from these few posts, OP comes across as a pompous prick I would never give an acceptance letter to.

Humility is a necessary component of any learner.

OP consider having multiple others read your PS to check for tone as sometimes how we think we come across may not be how other see it.

 

[snooper]

"I believe that even a 20 yr old traditional applicant should possess enough discernment regarding circumstances such as the intentional use of non-sterile instruments in invasive procedures."
Sure, but what kind of point are you making?
I've learned that it's a really bad thing to use non-sterile equipment - and won't do it? Educate other dentists about sterile instruments? Join ethics committees?
Better to use a positive example of someone who already does what you want to emulate as a future dentist.

 

[Tootyfruity]

Your concerns are valid, as you can see. I'd also recommend you be open minded about why you're getting the feedback you're getting.