Uncoupling from couples match

[uagedu]

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Quick question: We previously indicated couples match on ERAS and now no longer want to couples match. Aside from unchecking the box on ERAS, what else do we have to do? Do we have to notify programs about this?

In addition we have a few interviews to the same program and specialty, do we have to reschedule interviews and/or notify those programs?

 

[gutonc]

Quick question: We previously indicated couples match on ERAS and now no longer want to couples match. Aside from unchecking the box on ERAS, what else do we have to do? Do we have to notify programs about this?

In addition we have a few interviews to the same program and specialty, do we have to reschedule interviews and/or notify those programs?

Nothing, no and no in that order.

 

[PMPMD]

Quick question: We previously indicated couples match on ERAS and now no longer want to couples match. Aside from unchecking the box on ERAS, what else do we have to do? Do we have to notify programs about this?

In addition we have a few interviews to the same program and specialty, do we have to reschedule interviews and/or notify those programs?

Agree w/ above. You don't HAVE to reschedule interviews but it might be awkward to interview together if you just broke up (don't know your situation, maybe you're still friendly).

 

[NotAProgDirector]

It is certain to be a question at your interview.

 

[docu]

I have a few questions:

do you have to be a real couple (as in bf/gf, married, fiance, etc)? or can you be 2 females, 2 males, or a boy/girl pair that are not really a couple--just friends that want to match together? what exactly do they ask you on interviews about being a couple? what is the answer they want to hear? what if you honestly say you're just friends not intending to marry that just want to match at the same program? will the PD reject you for that?

Thanks!

 

[PMPMD]

I have a few questions:

do you have to be a real couple (as in bf/gf, married, fiance, etc)? or can you be 2 females, 2 males, or a boy/girl pair that are not really a couple--just friends that want to match together? what exactly do they ask you on interviews about being a couple? what is the answer they want to hear? what if you honestly say you're just friends not intending to marry that just want to match at the same program? will the PD reject you for that?

Thanks!

Any 2 people can couples match, regardless of relationship.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

Any 2 people can couples match, regardless of relationship.

Agreed.

However, as the poster above suggests, it becomes weird if you're not in a serious relationship.

Combining this question with the poster's question in another thread (whether being couple's linked with a stronger candidate makes you a better candidate), this would be a very bad idea if you did it only for that reason -- and it might hurt the stronger candidate.

 

[HumbleMD]

Any 2 people can couples match, regardless of relationship.

A lovely gay couple I know (now married with 2 kids) couples matched as "friends" back in the 90s.

 

[uagedu]

We're still together, but just from the difficulty of the process we figured it'd be better not to couples match.

In that context, for the few interviews that we got together (same specialty) will the PD only rank one of us and screw over the other because it's just assumed that we broke up (which is false)? What about our home institution, which we both got interviews to?

Also, aProgDirector, which questions specifically would come up during an interview?

 

[NotAProgDirector]

Couple's matching can't really hurt you, so I'm not certain what the "difficulty" is. You could remove the Couple's information from ERAS -- that's free and simple. You might as well use the NRMP couple match. If each of you gets one interview in Boston and one in SF, you'd absolutely like to maximize the chances of being in the same city, which is exactly what the couple's match affords. If you list all possible combinations in NRMP, then you can't end up worse off than if you didn't couple's match and you get much more control of the outcome.

If you're worried that the fact that you're couples matching has somehow impacted your interview offers, it's probably too late to do much about it. If a PD has looked at your app and rejected it, changing the couple's status is not going to change anything.

 

[Divine Furor]

We're still together, but just from the difficulty of the process we figured it'd be better not to couples match.

In that context, for the few interviews that we got together (same specialty) will the PD only rank one of us and screw over the other because it's just assumed that we broke up (which is false)? What about our home institution, which we both got interviews to?

Speaking as someone who couples matched, and lesbian couples matched at that, your fears are a little out of proportion. Yes, we got only a handful of interviews at the same program ultimately, and it was an emotionally harrowing time working out what we needed from a residency and what we wanted for each other, but our relationship was ultimately more important for life. And therefore the risk of not matching together was too high to be worth it. What do you want from the relationship? If it's being together throughout your medical training, then do the couples match.

You have no control over what other people assume. I think it would be damaging if you don't match together now for WHATEVER reason and have to wonder forever if it was because of x, y, or z. . .