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- Oct 23, 2010
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Going into my fourth year of undergrad and thinking of applying to MSTP/MD-PhD programs next summer.
I worked in one lab from summer of my freshman year to spring of my junior year. After completion of my last project, I decided to move to another lab to get more experience (my supervisor was very supportive of this). I've been working in this new lab since then.
I love lab and I love research and I would love a career in academic medicine and research.
Ever since I've started working in a lab, I've devoted 20-25 (often more) hours a week to lab work and achieved a good amount of independence on my projects. Often, I'd come in at night after I'm done with classes and EC's and stay from 7 pm until 2-3 am.
The issue is: in these past few years, after working at both labs, I've noticed that even though I spend a lot of time on research, I really don't think I've accomplished very much. My projects have pretty much ended anticlimactically. Results don't make sense or are not useful, or it turns out that a paper published in 1996 did the exact same thing with the exact same results, or we just give up because it hasn't been working out. the exception would be the publication of one paper in PLoS One, in which I am the fifth author - but that was an entirely different project than the one's I've truly had independence on).
This is frustrating, both for me and the people who supervise me. One of my supervisors even told me once: "you've done several projects this year, but haven't carried many out to completion. don't confuse activity with accomplishment".
I try to think about how much I'm helping the researchers I work for, and I start to feel like more of a burden rather than a helpful undergraduate research assistant. I'm someone to teach and supervise, someone who uses reagents and money on failed experiments.
I don't think its because I "suck" in lab. I have good technique. I carry out experiments well. I don't often make mistakes. It's just that my results haven't been ideal for the past two years. This is been frustrating and made me question a few things - how my letters of recommendations will sound, how I will look in front of admission committees, but more importantly, whether MD/PhD programs are really for me. Was I meant to do research?
I'm wondering if this feeling is typical of research. If I was really meant to do research, wouldn't my experiments be working by now? Should I still apply? (It's still something I really really want - I think). If I do apply, would I still be competitive as an applicant for MSTP programs?
Please advise!
I worked in one lab from summer of my freshman year to spring of my junior year. After completion of my last project, I decided to move to another lab to get more experience (my supervisor was very supportive of this). I've been working in this new lab since then.
I love lab and I love research and I would love a career in academic medicine and research.
Ever since I've started working in a lab, I've devoted 20-25 (often more) hours a week to lab work and achieved a good amount of independence on my projects. Often, I'd come in at night after I'm done with classes and EC's and stay from 7 pm until 2-3 am.
The issue is: in these past few years, after working at both labs, I've noticed that even though I spend a lot of time on research, I really don't think I've accomplished very much. My projects have pretty much ended anticlimactically. Results don't make sense or are not useful, or it turns out that a paper published in 1996 did the exact same thing with the exact same results, or we just give up because it hasn't been working out. the exception would be the publication of one paper in PLoS One, in which I am the fifth author - but that was an entirely different project than the one's I've truly had independence on).
This is frustrating, both for me and the people who supervise me. One of my supervisors even told me once: "you've done several projects this year, but haven't carried many out to completion. don't confuse activity with accomplishment".
I try to think about how much I'm helping the researchers I work for, and I start to feel like more of a burden rather than a helpful undergraduate research assistant. I'm someone to teach and supervise, someone who uses reagents and money on failed experiments.
I don't think its because I "suck" in lab. I have good technique. I carry out experiments well. I don't often make mistakes. It's just that my results haven't been ideal for the past two years. This is been frustrating and made me question a few things - how my letters of recommendations will sound, how I will look in front of admission committees, but more importantly, whether MD/PhD programs are really for me. Was I meant to do research?
I'm wondering if this feeling is typical of research. If I was really meant to do research, wouldn't my experiments be working by now? Should I still apply? (It's still something I really really want - I think). If I do apply, would I still be competitive as an applicant for MSTP programs?
Please advise!
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