Venting because my friends don't get it

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irishnerd26

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Hi all,
Just thought I'd vent a bit because my friends don't understand and I have yet to find a way to explain it to them. Obviously unless you go through the pre-med process of studying for the MCAT and getting ready to apply to medical school, it's hard to understand how much of your time is occupied, but I can't seem to get through to my friends. I'm sure all of you have similar situations, but sometimes it feels good to vent to those that know what you're going through. Best of luck to you all, we've got this!
 
irishnerd26 said:
Hi all,
Just thought I'd vent a bit because my friends don't understand and I have yet to find a way to explain it to them. Obviously unless you go through the pre-med process of studying for the MCAT and getting ready to apply to medical school, it's hard to understand how much of your time is occupied, but I can't seem to get through to my friends. I'm sure all of you have similar situations, but sometimes it feels good to vent to those that know what you're going through. Best of luck to you all, we've got this!
Click to expand...

i feel you 100%
 
-2014SIDWICK-ABU-300.jpg
 
Friends seem to understand for me, it's girls that usually don't.
 
allantois said:
I never quite understood why so many pre-meds have no time to do anything.
Click to expand...
Because they spend all of their time worrying that they're not studying enough. There was also that person who wanted to list studying as a hobby on their AMCAS. Basically it's a huge circlejerk about who is working harder/is the most "lmao so nerdy"/has no life outside of getting into med school.
 
Pre-med was the most fun and easy time of my life. Sounds like you're making yourself way more miserable than you need to be. If you're really genuinely needing to work this hard in pre-med, medical school might not be for you.
 
Work smarter, not harder. Pick the right classes, with the right professors, at the right times, with the best probable outcomes - how you say? Rate my professors.com, and make friends with upperclassmen.

College is all a game - I learned it the hard way. Sure there will be those handful of classes where you will literally bust your ass forwards and backwards to get the A's, but if you balance your course-load with those science classes that are easier upper levels - you should be fine.

Not to be forgotten though, you should also enjoy college, those are 4 years I promise you, you'll NEVER EVER EVER FOREVER EVER get back lol.
 
It's possible that they just don't care and you need to suck it up.
 
It's a lot less about the hard work and more about having free time during the week. Between studying for the MCAT, classes and my extra cirriculars, my free time is short during the week. A lot of my friends only have classes two days a week and clinical one day a week, so I think that's why there is such a difference in time availability. This post wasn't meant to be complaining about all the hard work, but more about trying to find people who understand. My school is really small, most people take a gap year, and currently I am the only student in my year applying this cycle.
 
irishnerd26 said:
It's a lot less about the hard work and more about having free time during the week. Between studying for the MCAT, classes and my extra cirriculars, my free time is short during the week. A lot of my friends only have classes two days a week and clinical one day a week, so I think that's why there is such a difference in time availability. This post wasn't meant to be complaining about all the hard work, but more about trying to find people who understand. My school is really small, most people take a gap year, and currently I am the only student in my year applying this cycle.
Click to expand...

Like most premeds, I do bunch of a stuff and I especially spend a lot of time in my research lab (12 hours a week about) and I am currently taking 23 hours (3 hours are my research so it's more like 20).

I have about 2-4 hours of free time every day depending on the day not counting an hour of lunch and the hour I use to get ready in the morning/eat breakfast so it's more like 4-6 hours. Something that really helps me use this time to actually unwind and enjoy myself is removing all distractions. So, I don't touch my phone for anything other than email throughout the day unless it's right now or late at night. I just avoid the Internet at all costs. It's draining and is basically just a time sink I naturally go to because I'm too lazy to begin the day or move on to the next thing I need to do. When I eat I don't watch tv or anything. I just eat and think and look out of my window at the world or talk with my roommates.

The point is, if you start doing one thing at a time and avoid things that only have you passively engaged you will feel like there is way more time in the day because you are actually recharging your attention/mind during your time off. In my total free time I'll do whatever the hell I want (I take Saturday off so I do whatever then) and watch tv, goof off with friends, etc. However, during my week's free time I spend time doing things that need me to participate in order to be engaged so I don't get this anxiety driven "omg where is all the time going" feeling I get when I watch tv or something like that. Things like video games that require a lot of my attention (Starcraft, Dark Souls), playing guitar, writing, reading (sometimes that means SDN and it really shouldn't im trying to cut back).

Idk might help you, might not. Trust me, everyone here understands where you are at right now though.
 
You have 168 hours in a week.
If you sleep 7 hours a day, that becomes 120 hours.
Lets say that you go to class/study or work for 40 hours a week, that means you have 80 hours of free time.

You have MCAT studying, depending on your schedule, that is another 5-20 hours/week. So now you have 60-75 hours/week free. What else is taking up large blocks of your time? Why are you doing them?

I have no doubt that you feel busy, and maybe your friends are all slackers, but the vast majority of the time that a pre-med says, "I don't have enough time!" There is something wrong with what they are doing. Either poor or inefficient studying, poor time management in general, etc. Usually this is in the context of, "Why don't you have any ECs?" or in the case of that recent thread, "Why don't you have any hobbies?" Things are only going to get busier from here on out. If you are struggling with time now, can you really handle the rest of the training or being a good physician?


I seem to be repeating myself...
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/i-have-never-volunteered.1092556/#post-15583164
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/doing-nothing-during-a-gap-year.1103211/#post-15780020
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...re-i-apply-this-summer.1112041/#post-15994557
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...to-enjoy-life-socially.1114353/#post-16038656
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/question-about-hobbies.1097954/#post-15675997
 
mimelim said:
You have 168 hours in a week.
If you sleep 7 hours a day, that becomes 120 hours.
Lets say that you go to class/study or work for 40 hours a week, that means you have 80 hours of free time.

You have MCAT studying, depending on your schedule, that is another 5-20 hours/week. So now you have 60-75 hours/week free. What else is taking up large blocks of your time? Why are you doing them?

I have no doubt that you feel busy, and maybe your friends are all slackers, but the vast majority of the time that a pre-med says, "I don't have enough time!" There is something wrong with what they are doing. Either poor or inefficient studying, poor time management in general, etc. Usually this is in the context of, "Why don't you have any ECs?" or in the case of that recent thread, "Why don't you have any hobbies?" Things are only going to get busier from here on out. If you are struggling with time now, can you really handle the rest of the training or being a good physician?


I seem to be repeating myself...
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/i-have-never-volunteered.1092556/#post-15583164
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/doing-nothing-during-a-gap-year.1103211/#post-15780020
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...re-i-apply-this-summer.1112041/#post-15994557
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...to-enjoy-life-socially.1114353/#post-16038656
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/question-about-hobbies.1097954/#post-15675997
Click to expand...

Exactly. I suspect that what's going on is that many pre-meds don't really have the maturity to treat college as a full-time job and put in those 40 hours a week during the week, so they're sort of haphazardly getting through the week, making it seem way more stressful than it has to be. If they'd set up a 40-hour schedule for themselves, they'd find that they'd have way more free time (the 80 hours you mention) probably. It's having the maturity to be regimented and get things done. I could probably take that advice better myself. I imagine the same thing ends up being important in med school.
 
Please, mods, help Mimes out and sticky this!!!!

Or start tattooing it on the foreheads of clueless pre-meds.

mimelim said:
You have 168 hours in a week.
If you sleep 7 hours a day, that becomes 120 hours.
Lets say that you go to class/study or work for 40 hours a week, that means you have 80 hours of free time.

You have MCAT studying, depending on your schedule, that is another 5-20 hours/week. So now you have 60-75 hours/week free. What else is taking up large blocks of your time? Why are you doing them?

I have no doubt that you feel busy, and maybe your friends are all slackers, but the vast majority of the time that a pre-med says, "I don't have enough time!" There is something wrong with what they are doing. Either poor or inefficient studying, poor time management in general, etc. Usually this is in the context of, "Why don't you have any ECs?" or in the case of that recent thread, "Why don't you have any hobbies?" Things are only going to get busier from here on out. If you are struggling with time now, can you really handle the rest of the training or being a good physician?


I seem to be repeating myself...
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/i-have-never-volunteered.1092556/#post-15583164
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/doing-nothing-during-a-gap-year.1103211/#post-15780020
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...re-i-apply-this-summer.1112041/#post-15994557
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...to-enjoy-life-socially.1114353/#post-16038656
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/question-about-hobbies.1097954/#post-15675997
Click to expand...
 
The most frustrating thing for me to get my non-premed friends to understand was the anxiety involved in the application process. They would say things like "relax man, you've worked so hard that you're guaranteed to get into Dream Medical School!" I gave up on trying to explain to them that it doesn't work like that.

Never had an issue with work/life balance, however.
 
Surgical resident who operated from 7:30 AM to 12:30AM yesterday. Still have time to go out on the weekly

But yeh, sitting in a cafe and reading MCAT passages, writing personal statements, filling out AMCAS, sweating over blue suits versus black suits and colorful blouses/ties... rully hard...ngwah ngwah.
 
As a non-trad, I had a hard time with work-life balance the first time around with the mcat (was also doing post bacc classes 1-2 nights a week, working full time and volunteering). I was miserable after making no time to see friends or family or really relax at all. Not surprisingly, I did terribly on my mcat as a result - I was way too burnt out to really internalize the material and felt completely isolated. Second time around for the mcat, I made time to run, see friends and family, and relax from time to time and lo and behold, I did much better.

Moral of the story is - there's always a way to make some time to keep yourself sane. I strongly recommend working out with a friend- you'll feel much better and get to see your friends. Waking up early to study also helped - I studied way more efficiently and it gave me some time to relax at night (I also slept better). You might not have hours of uninterrupted time to sit around with your friends, but you should take advantage of breaks in your schedule to do things that make you happy.

Good luck OP, try to find some balance!
 
LOL. You guys may be a little too hard on the pre-med.

Personally...my undergrad was more challenging than my med school experience. I worked nights in a warehouse while taking a full schedule. For MCAT prep...I was still taking classes and working.

I had time to spend with friends...but I had to be very selective. Fortunately all my friends were pre-meds.

Shoot...when I went to med school I was like..."wow, I can just focus on studying while not trying to maintain my sleep cycle. This is pretty cool."
 
In my experience, when I'm "so swamped that I don't have time to see any friends", what that means is I have something I should be doing so I feel guilty going out and enjoying life, which leads me to stay in and end up procrastinating instead of working. I stayed in every night I was studying for the MCAT, but I probably only got 1-2 hours of quality studying done a day.
 
caffeinemia said:
Surgical resident who operated from 7:30 AM to 12:30AM yesterday. Still have time to go out on the weekly

But yeh, sitting in a cafe and reading MCAT passages, writing personal statements, filling out AMCAS, sweating over blue suits versus black suits and colorful blouses/ties... rully hard...ngwah ngwah.
Click to expand...

You don't understand! This guy was wearing a black suit and a black tie. How does a person who dresses like that even get an interview?!
 
If a girl wore a black suit and black tie to an interview, I'd think it's odd and hot. I'd probably admit her.
 
gyngyn said:
Odd, yes...
Click to expand...

Medicine is so traditionalist. I am beholden to the system and don my shirt and tie for every conference, but damn you, it is a woolen, knit tie! I secretly rebel against it and applaud the slightly quirky ones. 🙂
 
Your friends will rarely fully understand your life or its particular stresses, tragedies, annoyances, pleasures, victories. And you won't fully understand theirs either.

Sure, your life is probably hard. But your friends are likely dealing with a different set of hard things in their lives that they feel like others don't understand.
 
j4pac said:
LOL. You guys may be a little too hard on the pre-med.

Personally...my undergrad was more challenging than my med school experience. I worked nights in a warehouse while taking a full schedule. For MCAT prep...I was still taking classes and working.

I had time to spend with friends...but I had to be very selective. Fortunately all my friends were pre-meds.

Shoot...when I went to med school I was like..."wow, I can just focus on studying while not trying to maintain my sleep cycle. This is pretty cool."
Click to expand...

whatever5 said:
In my experience, when I'm "so swamped that I don't have time to see any friends", what that means is I have something I should be doing so I feel guilty going out and enjoying life, which leads me to stay in and end up procrastinating instead of working. I stayed in every night I was studying for the MCAT, but I probably only got 1-2 hours of quality studying done a day.
Click to expand...

These are the exact things I was meaning in terms of this post. I do have hobbies and activities that occupy my time that aren't directly or as heavily associated with applying to medical school. I'm not saying I have it the hardest, I am not saying that I have NO free time or any time to get things done, and I'm not saying that I hate my life. All I was trying to do was find support in those who are doing this as well, but thanks for letting me know I won't be able to handle medical school, might as well just stop now.
 
It is always frustrating when you're working incredibly hard, and the people around you can't sympathize, let alone empathize. It takes much more self-control and personal motivation. Unfortunately that's the road you've chosen for the next ten or so years 😛

That being said...I don't know what it is about neurotic premeds that when they get together, they need to participate in a morbid competition of who got the least amount of sleep or is suffering the most. Newsflash, unless you're studying and working a full time job or taking 30 hours, you're doing it wrong if you have no time for sleep or yourself...
 
irishnerd26 said:
These are the exact things I was meaning in terms of this post. I do have hobbies and activities that occupy my time that aren't directly or as heavily associated with applying to medical school. I'm not saying I have it the hardest, I am not saying that I have NO free time or any time to get things done, and I'm not saying that I hate my life. All I was trying to do was find support in those who are doing this as well, but thanks for letting me know I won't be able to handle medical school, might as well just stop now.
Click to expand...

I think that all of us can relate to the feeling of not having enough time. You are going to have to learn to find a balance. This really is an endurance race and not a splint. Though it is very understandable that you will be dedicating most of your time focusing on MCAT...you need to find a balance between work and play that is sustainable. Good luck!

As a side note...you were initially asking for empathy but sarcastically saying that you "might as well just stop now" actually says that you are trying to get sympathy. Big difference. I believe that people on this forum will have no problem empathizing with you...but you likely won't get sympathy. This isn't a field that allows much sympathy. You are more likely to get a "suck it up" than have someone hand you a Kleenex. That is the cold hard truth.
 
irishnerd26 said:
It's a lot less about the hard work and more about having free time during the week. Between studying for the MCAT, classes and my extra cirriculars, my free time is short during the week. A lot of my friends only have classes two days a week and clinical one day a week, so I think that's why there is such a difference in time availability. This post wasn't meant to be complaining about all the hard work, but more about trying to find people who understand. My school is really small, most people take a gap year, and currently I am the only student in my year applying this cycle.
Click to expand...

There is probably a pretty good reason that most of your peers are taking gap years. I can see how you'd be stressed about trying to complete all of these activities at once, but you chose to follow this path. This process is stressful enough as it is and IMO, gaps years do wonders to reduce the neuroticism/stress throughout it.

EDIT: Finished my incomplete post. I was trying to avoid a disgusting fly and inadvertently submitted my post
 
Last edited:
I was a physical sciences major, working over 20 hours a week at a job on the weekend and I also did research and volunteering and other things too. I actually had no time as a premed, not sure why you all hating with your simplified time calculations
 
caffeinemia said:
Surgical resident who operated from 7:30 AM to 12:30AM yesterday. Still have time to go out on the weekly

But yeh, sitting in a cafe and reading MCAT passages, writing personal statements, filling out AMCAS, sweating over blue suits versus black suits and colorful blouses/ties... rully hard...ngwah ngwah.
Click to expand...
You only worked for 5 hours.... You have no clue what us premeds are going through.





P.S. I'm joking.
 
I don't agree with a lot going on in this post regarding "pre-med is a breeze." Sure, if your end goal is to get into medical school, it's pretty predictable at this point what you need to do to be competitive. What gets boring, however, is hearing the same cookie-cutter application stuff my fellow classmates talk about... none of it is really interesting after 10 people talk about basically identical experiences. Whatever happened to carving your own path? I surely hope those students get rewarded during the application cycle.

However, picking the hard routes through undergrad, getting out of your comfort zone, etc. can really shape you into a much more resilient individual going into medical school. I cannot believe how transformative this process can be and how much you learn about yourself if you actually take it seriously. Talking to my friends currently in medical school, they said taking the paths of most resistance during undergrad really helped prepare them for the initial shock factor of all the coursework during medical school. I (as well many people I've been acquainted with) sacrificed a lot to get here and built a strong application in the process, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Make yourself the best you can be, don't cut yourself short! It's strange how humans are the only organisms on Earth that don't always want to live up to their potential. Be proud of what you can accomplish!

Also, chances are you've probably made some pre-med friends during your undergrad, so they are the best people to really hold on to because they know exactly what you're going through. I'm lucky enough to have some of my best friends going into different aspects of medicine, so I won't be much help here. My best advice would be to have group chats via text going as much as possible (that's personally how I keep in touch with a few people).

Hope this helps at least someone.
 
I agree with Eddie.

It depends what you do with your undergrad. I don't want my undergrad to be a puff piece, so I'm taking the hard route. Courses for which half the students drop out by the second week, big course loads, etc. Of course, I'm pre-MD/PhD. Still, it just depends what you do as an undergrad.

I'm in year five out of six and I still dread every semester. I cry out of frustration/lack of sleep/anxiety several times a term. If I was looking to JUST get into medical school, it'd be a different story.
 
philosonista said:
I agree with Eddie.

It depends what you do with your undergrad. I don't want my undergrad to be a puff piece, so I'm taking the hard route. Courses for which half the students drop out by the second week, big course loads, etc. Of course, I'm pre-MD/PhD. Still, it just depends what you do as an undergrad.

I'm in year five out of six and I still dread every semester. I cry out of frustration/lack of sleep/anxiety several times a term. If I was looking to JUST get into medical school, it'd be a different story.
Click to expand...

Hey, I doubt most of us neurotic people who browse SDN fall into the category of "I just want to get into medical school." I committed plenty of time to my grades and extracurriculars, but there was always enough time in a day to take some time and relax a bit.
 
Two things:
(1) if your current friends dont understand you, relax, med school and intern year will solve this -- you wont have much time for them and the weaker frindships will all wane -- most of these people will only vaguely be known to you through Facebook in just a few short years. You will have new friends -- Netter, UpToDate, PDR, etc to keep you company.
(2) A pre-med complaining about how little time you have on a board full of med students, residents, fellows, attendings, etc is a lot like standing at base camp of Mount Everest and complaining to those who already climbed some of it how hard the flight over was.
 
irishnerd26 said:
It's a lot less about the hard work and more about having free time during the week. Between studying for the MCAT, classes and my extra cirriculars, my free time is short during the week. A lot of my friends only have classes two days a week and clinical one day a week, so I think that's why there is such a difference in time availability. This post wasn't meant to be complaining about all the hard work, but more about trying to find people who understand. My school is really small, most people take a gap year, and currently I am the only student in my year applying this cycle.
Click to expand...
If you think all that is hard, once med school hits you're gonna have a bad time.
 
Mad Jack said:
If you think all that is hard, once med school hits you're gonna have a bad time.
Click to expand...
I think back to how "hard" MCAT studying was and just laugh. 2-3 of months of what now is barely studying (add on the fact that it material that you have already learned), oh how relaxing of a time that actually was. I didn't think it was too bad when I was actually going through it, but if only I knew how much more relaxing and easy of a time it was back then...
 
Being just premed and ecs would be aweosome. Sucks I gotta pay the bills , so any free time I have I'm working.

I've noticed most of the people who say they had fun in their college years were those who didn't work on top of full time college course load .

Always use dual perspective , some people have different backgrounds that alter their college experience .
 
I have the friends don't get it problem for a whole different reason.
7d6cbfd893ee5938b1190d7ce2a0db5a.jpg
 
irishnerd26 said:
Hi all,
Just thought I'd vent a bit because my friends don't understand and I have yet to find a way to explain it to them. Obviously unless you go through the pre-med process of studying for the MCAT and getting ready to apply to medical school, it's hard to understand how much of your time is occupied, but I can't seem to get through to my friends. I'm sure all of you have similar situations, but sometimes it feels good to vent to those that know what you're going through. Best of luck to you all, we've got this!
Click to expand...

Oh young grasshopper, you have yet to realize it will get worse 3rd year and beyond.
 
swolebrah said:
Being just premed and ecs would be aweosome. Sucks I gotta pay the bills , so any free time I have I'm working.

I've noticed most of the people who say they had fun in their college years were those who didn't work on top of full time college course load .

Always use dual perspective , some people have different backgrounds that alter their college experience .
Click to expand...

I worked two jobs (daily) while going to school full-time. Still found time to have fun while earning good grades. It's all about time-management and studying smarter, not harder.
 
peanutsss said:
When you break it down like this I feel like I should have had way more time when I was studying. Somehow looking at it on a day to day basis it seems like so much less. Lol


Weekdays
5:20am wake up
5:50 drive to gym
6:00 workout
6:40 shower, dress for work
7:00 drive to work
7:30 arrive at work
7:30-11:30 work
11:30-12:00 lunch
12:00-12:30 review a few mcat questions
12:00-4:00 work
4:30-5:00 dinner at desk
5:00-8:00 work
8:00 drive home
8:30pm arrive home
8:30-9:30 prep meals for the next day and gym bag
9:30pm in bed to repeat the next day

On Tuesdays. I cut work 2 hours short to volunteer. Weekends 8 hours mcat study, maybe to something fun.

Idk that 60-75 hours of free time disappears quickly. Yah I'd say some people are inefficient and/or lazy but it's not already clear cut.
Click to expand...

You realize his post was assuming 40hr work week right? If your schedule is true and you're claiming you work from 7:30am-8pm every day, that's your trade off of working huge amounts of hours that unless you were working some stupid job, should have a very high pay scale to match. You made your choice to work that much and got to reap the benefits of that, what is the point of your post except for trying to humble brag that you worked SOOOO hard and still studied for the mcat?
 
I used to have an app on my phone that would probably be of benefit to all the time-wasters out there. It essentially logged how much time per day I spent using each app. I was shocked to see how the frequent 5-10 chunks of time spent browsing social media added up to HOURS each day. Consequently, I deleted all social media apps off of my phone and it helped immensely.

I don't recall the name of the app and I deleted it because it was a battery hog, but I suggest experimenting with something like that for a few days, especially if you are one that can't seem to figure out what is eating up so much time during the day.
 
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