- Joined
- Dec 31, 2013
- Messages
- 5
- Reaction score
- 0
I'm stressing out. I was excited when I discovered pathology, as most of my rotations in medical school were disappointingly slim on science, which is really what I went to medical school for.
But through residency, and with all the changes in the profession, and my inability to find a job, I don't think I want this career anymore.
CP completely bores me. As do any lab management related aspects. Forensics bores me as well. I can see myself as a general (oncologic) surgical pathologist, but it seems that AP only would make the job hunt all the more difficult.
I've been searching for a job for the past 18 months or so, and have found NOTHING. I have made contacts at meetings, during my various interviews for fellowships, through my home institution, and also from several states where I grew up and went to college. Still, nothing. I've only seen a handful of jobs posted online that want AP/CP, plus fellowed and boarded in something competitive, plus at least 5 years experience. I've applied to these jobs anyway, but have never heard back from anyone. None of the residents in the three years prior to me (those who were here when I started residency) have landed a job yet. They're all spinning their wheels doing fellowship after fellowship. One of them will be starting their 2nd general surgical fellowship this summer, as he can't find anything else to do. Go on unemployment maybe?
Now I'm applying to sit for the boards, but am unmotivated. $440 credential verification fee? Up to $700 licensing fee? (For the various states I'm considering getting my license in.) Then $2,200 to take the boards? Not counting all the travel fees.
Sure, that would all be worth it in the long run if this was my career, but I don't think I want it anymore. I'm bored at work, painfully bored, even when doing surgical pathology. The politics and in-fighting are severely depressing; I feel like less than 10% of my time and energy is actually spent doing pathology. I don't want to spend my life sitting in an office/basement, no matter the pay. I feel like I've wasted 14 years of my life already, and untold hundreds of thousands of dollars, chasing a socially acceptable dream despite feeling uninspired and bored the entire way.
This has really bothered me for many years. I've seen five different councilors over the years to discuss this and try to clear my head and figure out what I want, but every single one of them boiled down the whole problem to "just follow the plan and do what you're told; you'll be happy when you have money". Bull$#!t.
Sigh. I can't help but wonder how much of my mood is due to the crappy state of the profession and job prospects. It doesn't help that I had a bunch of trouble landing a fellowship, and feel very jaded about having spent so many thousands of dollars, weeks of time, and lots of emotional investment on interviews, all to ultimately end up accepting a pity offer for a surgical fellowship at my residency institution.
I just don't see much of a future in pathology for me. Even if the market improves, and even if I were offered a nice job tomorrow, I'm afraid I would be unsatisfied. I've never seen the world, never traveled, never had a serious relationship, never built anything to be proud of, never did anything in the past 34 years except put all my energy into keeping my nose to the grindstone, following the advice that "just do as you're told and everything will be fine".
I'm not sure why I'm posting here. Just hoping to vent, and maybe get some words of advice or at least encouragement I guess. I suspect I will continue my pattern of ploding down the path, too frightened to take a chance and do something that I really want to do. I tell myself that it's the $210,000 in student loan debt holding me back, but I just don't know anymore.
Sorry if this is rambling or incoherent. I'm not very clear headed right now.
But through residency, and with all the changes in the profession, and my inability to find a job, I don't think I want this career anymore.
CP completely bores me. As do any lab management related aspects. Forensics bores me as well. I can see myself as a general (oncologic) surgical pathologist, but it seems that AP only would make the job hunt all the more difficult.
I've been searching for a job for the past 18 months or so, and have found NOTHING. I have made contacts at meetings, during my various interviews for fellowships, through my home institution, and also from several states where I grew up and went to college. Still, nothing. I've only seen a handful of jobs posted online that want AP/CP, plus fellowed and boarded in something competitive, plus at least 5 years experience. I've applied to these jobs anyway, but have never heard back from anyone. None of the residents in the three years prior to me (those who were here when I started residency) have landed a job yet. They're all spinning their wheels doing fellowship after fellowship. One of them will be starting their 2nd general surgical fellowship this summer, as he can't find anything else to do. Go on unemployment maybe?
Now I'm applying to sit for the boards, but am unmotivated. $440 credential verification fee? Up to $700 licensing fee? (For the various states I'm considering getting my license in.) Then $2,200 to take the boards? Not counting all the travel fees.
Sure, that would all be worth it in the long run if this was my career, but I don't think I want it anymore. I'm bored at work, painfully bored, even when doing surgical pathology. The politics and in-fighting are severely depressing; I feel like less than 10% of my time and energy is actually spent doing pathology. I don't want to spend my life sitting in an office/basement, no matter the pay. I feel like I've wasted 14 years of my life already, and untold hundreds of thousands of dollars, chasing a socially acceptable dream despite feeling uninspired and bored the entire way.
This has really bothered me for many years. I've seen five different councilors over the years to discuss this and try to clear my head and figure out what I want, but every single one of them boiled down the whole problem to "just follow the plan and do what you're told; you'll be happy when you have money". Bull$#!t.
Sigh. I can't help but wonder how much of my mood is due to the crappy state of the profession and job prospects. It doesn't help that I had a bunch of trouble landing a fellowship, and feel very jaded about having spent so many thousands of dollars, weeks of time, and lots of emotional investment on interviews, all to ultimately end up accepting a pity offer for a surgical fellowship at my residency institution.
I just don't see much of a future in pathology for me. Even if the market improves, and even if I were offered a nice job tomorrow, I'm afraid I would be unsatisfied. I've never seen the world, never traveled, never had a serious relationship, never built anything to be proud of, never did anything in the past 34 years except put all my energy into keeping my nose to the grindstone, following the advice that "just do as you're told and everything will be fine".
I'm not sure why I'm posting here. Just hoping to vent, and maybe get some words of advice or at least encouragement I guess. I suspect I will continue my pattern of ploding down the path, too frightened to take a chance and do something that I really want to do. I tell myself that it's the $210,000 in student loan debt holding me back, but I just don't know anymore.
Sorry if this is rambling or incoherent. I'm not very clear headed right now.
Last edited: