Very personal issues in personal statement?

[deeproots]

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Hi guys. I wanted to get y'all's opinions on writing about sensitive personal issues in the personal statement. Perhaps I should describe my situation:


So, I had a really crappy childhood. My mother is a drug addict and has been since I can remember. She physically and mentally abused my kid brother and me throughout our lives. Luckily, I was able to escape into sports and eventually into school. My brother wasn't so lucky--he's still in and out of jail and such. As for my mother, she's currently in jail for some drug/alcohol charge. She basically couldn't care less about her kids.

How does this affect me and my medical school application? Well, her being such an *****hole made me into who I am. I matured very early and quickly learned to not take anybody's BS. All of my accomplishments have been self-motivated--nobody ever asked to see my homework, report card, etc. growing up. In fact, neither of my parents even know what I'm majoring in (I graduate next month). I've been knocked down more times than I can count and I always pick myself up. I fight until I overcome whatever obstacle is in my way. I'm motivated, strong, and persistant because that was the only way I could get out of my situation without being incredibly screwed up.

Her abuse also made me very familiar with pain. I firmly believe that this understanding of pain and suffering is what made me so empathic. I want to take away the pain of others because I know how it feels to suffer.


I know it's important to never convey yourself as the victim in personal statements, but I'm having a lot of trouble not sounding victimized. The funny thing is that I HATE people's sympathy, which is why very few people outside my family know about my situation (thank goodness for internet anonymity, haha). But I feel the need to write about this because it's shaped me into who I am. Even when I remove myself from it emotionally (which is easy for me at this point), it still sounds like I'm playing the victim card.

So, what do you guys think? Should discussing a very personal issue (like abuse) be completely avoided on the personal statement, even if it's an important factor in personal growth? Also, please don't worry about offending me in your responses. I'd love very honest opinions, if anybody is willing to offer them 🙂

 

[pre med 2014]

Unless you can connect it somehow to why you want to be a doctor I wouldn't focus on it.

 

[RedICEE]

It seems you certainly have had your share of challenges and have managed to not only work your way out of it but be a better person and potential doctor because of it.

I can't speak too much about what you should and shouldn't include in your personal statement, having yet to apply myself, but from what I've gathered over the years of browsing this forum, it's not a bad idea to provide a personal back-story if it's relevant, but it's more important to stress what makes you a good potential medical student. So, in other words, perhaps don't focus too heavily on the details of the situation you were put in, so much as what you have taken away from it and applied to positive life choices, beliefs, or accomplishments.

 

[DokterMom]

You don't sound like a victim to me - at all.

Congratulations on overcoming all you have, and I bet you have a much larger cheering section than you realize.

 

[survivordo]

Congrats on overcoming your past. I could go either way on this one, I am leaning toward don't include it unless you can really tie it in, I think it would just end up being a bit awkward to try to fit into your personal statement.

Survivor DO

 

[AdrianVeidt]

Definitely include this. It has of course affected your life. For how to tie it in, use your feelings of empathy that came from experiencing this.

Empathy is one of the greatest values any physician can have.

 

[Geebeejay]

I think you should mention it....if it really shaped who you are today, then it definitely fits into your personal statement. Keep in mind that even though it is called a personal statement, the underlying question is "why do you want to be a doctor", so make sure that you answer this question. Also, keep in mind that the personal statement is only 5300 characters, so it's up to you to decide whether or not there are more important things to write about.

If you do mention this, try not to focus on your mother and the abuse itself...try to keep any narrative minimal. rather focus on yourself and how you've grown because of it.

 

[fahimaz7]

Personal statements are called so for a reason. You're past makes you who you are and helps define how you see/approach things in your current life. If you want to write about it do it with the right voice and tone, and personally I think it will work out well for you.

Be smart about it and it will be remembered by the adcom's down the road.

 

[catzzz88]

Not sure if this is relevant to you, but you can claim disadvantaged status (financial counts). If you click that box, you have the option of writing about a paragraph of explanation. This is where I was able to make concise yet personal statements about my situation while keeping it out of my actual personal statement.

Honestly, it sounds like in your case the reason is totally relevant to why you want to become a doctor. I think you should have about a paragraph about it in your personal statement. However, like others have said, don't dwell on it. Be realistic and show how other things have strengthened you and made you into a Better person -- further prepared you for med school.

Answer: why do you want to be a physician? The only answer can't be "because I was abused." Dig deeper... it sounds like you have a very mature grasp on yourself! I have no doubt that you will end up with a stellar and moving personal statement.

And think about the disadvantaged paragraph a well-- if it applies to you, definitely think long and hard about how to communicate your situation effectively (from a position of strength and growth rather than "victim.").

Also, don't worry too much about sounding like a victim. Be honest and your true intents will shine through! Your OP here sounds nothing like you are asking for sympathy. If you are still really worried about it, you could even make a statement about it in your PS just like you did here-- just say that you are always concerned about sounding a certain way and why you don't want to (eg. you want your achievements to be your own and not because someone feels bad for you and makes an exception?)

Good luck: it sounds like you are already extremely realistic and grounded. Have confidence and compassion with yourself. You will do well. 🙂

Best,
C

 

[Nymphicus]

One strategy I might opt for is to not include it to heavily, but rather talk about it in more focused prompts in the secondary applications and also in person during the interview.

I understand that it is a integral part of your experience, however, it might be difficult to concisely tie it to why you want to be a doctor. So instead of trying to cram it into the personal statement it might be better to give it it's own space without worrying as much about character count and forcing it to fit some sort of theme or phrasing.

Just my opinion.

 

[deeproots]

Not sure if this is relevant to you, but you can claim disadvantaged status (financial counts). If you click that box, you have the option of writing about a paragraph of explanation. This is where I was able to make concise yet personal statements about my situation while keeping it out of my actual personal statement.

Honestly, it sounds like in your case the reason is totally relevant to why you want to become a doctor. I think you should have about a paragraph about it in your personal statement. However, like others have said, don't dwell on it. Be realistic and show how other things have strengthened you and made you into a Better person -- further prepared you for med school.

Answer: why do you want to be a physician? The only answer can't be "because I was abused." Dig deeper... it sounds like you have a very mature grasp on yourself! I have no doubt that you will end up with a stellar and moving personal statement.

And think about the disadvantaged paragraph a well-- if it applies to you, definitely think long and hard about how to communicate your situation effectively (from a position of strength and growth rather than "victim.").

Also, don't worry too much about sounding like a victim. Be honest and your true intents will shine through! Your OP here sounds nothing like you are asking for sympathy. If you are still really worried about it, you could even make a statement about it in your PS just like you did here-- just say that you are always concerned about sounding a certain way and why you don't want to (eg. you want your achievements to be your own and not because someone feels bad for you and makes an exception?)

Good luck: it sounds like you are already extremely realistic and grounded. Have confidence and compassion with yourself. You will do well. 🙂

Best,
C

Thanks so much for this advice and for your kind words! I actually am considered financially disadvantaged as well, so I will definitely claim myself as such and perhaps add in this personal bit about my family history. I do think this is relevant to my growth as a person and I will be a better doctor because of what I went through. I think I have a much better idea of how to write about this. Thanks so much for your help and kindness again!

 

[deeproots]

Thank you guys so much for all of your help! I think I have a better idea of how to go about this. I don't want to harp on it because it may sound like I'm still emotionally tied in my past. However, since my past has shaped me into who I am and gives me the qualities of a good physician, I definitely will address it in my PS.

Thanks for all of your help and advice, everyone 🙂