waitlist dilemma

[taketwo]

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I was just taken off the waitlist last week from a top 20 school and, suprisingly enough, I'm having a lot of trouble deciding what to do.

I applied last year to 20 schools, got 20 secondaries, 3 interviews, and only 2 waitlists (no acceptances). I had planned to use the next year to re-take the MCAT (since my scores from college are too old) and do some things to enhance my application. I would then reapply in June 2002 for the class starting 2003. So here's the dilemma...
- Though the school is excellent and has a great reputation among students for high quality teaching, I am not sure how happy I would be there becuase it would mean a total change in lifestyle and a huge distance between my boyfriend (was soon to be fiance) and myself.
- THe thought of taking the MCAT again makes me nervous and there is a lot of pressure to do well since I have once chance in April!
- There is always uncertainty in the application process and there is no way of knowing whether I'll even get in.
- I already took a year off to work and two years off to pursue a masters degree in public health so I'll be 27 when I matriculate if I wait.
- If I don't get in, will I harbor resentment towards myself and my partner for not going when I had the chance?

I've read lots on these posts about people being ecstatic when they get off waitlists and I keep wondering why I am having such a hard time realizing that this is a golden opportunity. Any advice from reappliers or those who had trouble taking a spot off a waitlist...

 

[Zack90]

I'm sorry to say, but only you can decide this one. In my simple mind, you have to be happy about all aspects of your life, it's not just all about med school. On the other hand, I'd suggest that you think long and hard before you give up an acceptance that was a challenge to gain - it may not be there again.

 

[Cameron]

I agree with Zack90 that you should definately be happy about the decision. However, if medical school IS the ultimate goal, be careful about turning an acceptance down. Since schools will see that you have been accepted in the past and turned down that acceptance, your motivation to pursue medicine may be questioned. Some schools may not give you a chance to explain why (an interview).

Ultimately this is a decision only you can make -- hopefully with the input of your boyfriend. Best of luck with the decision!

 

[star23]

I think there is a good chance you would regret deciding to turn down an acceptance. If med scool is what your really want - GO FOR IT!

 

[sandflea]

i feel for you because i may find myself in the exact same situation a year from now. but i firmly believe that ultimately, what matters is your happiness and that's what should guide your decision.

but you leave out a very important detail: is there any chance that your boyfriend could follow you to school, if not right away, at least in a few months or so? why is it necessary that you must stay near him--is it possible for him to move to be near you? i don't know the full situation but this would seem like an easy solution if it's feasible.

good luck in your soul-searching.

 

[brhill]

Have you asked if you can defer 'til the following year? Not for the boyfriend reason of course but something a little...better.

 

[Djanaba]

In the long run, what you do for YOU is going to be very, very important. An education will go with you wherever you go, and med school will get you far. People, no matter how much they mean now, are as fickle as the job market if not moreso. Hopefully your significant other can be supportive of your decisions, and realize that this might well be the best shot you've got.

(Heck, take him with you!)

 

[taketwo]

Well, the boyfriend isn't so keen on living in the city where the school is located. He works in high tech and has only a few places where he can work. There is however the option of long-distance, which doesn't seem so bad to me, especially since it means a compromise in a way. There is also a somewhat metropolitan city nearby (close enough to see each other every weekend) where he might eventually be able to work, but would mean that he would be living on his own in a strange and unfamiliar place. Some of my peers have told me that that option would be a compromise -- something that you often have to do in a partnership so that both people can achieve their goals.

The problem is coming to a decisoin that I'm happy with and can live with... I ask myself whether I would go if I were single and that's when I realize that I probably would...

Thanks for the advice... keep it coming!

 

[taketwo]

Cameron -- a question about your comment --"Since schools will see that you have been accepted in the past and turned down that acceptance, your motivation to pursue medicine may be questioned. Some schools may not give you a chance to explain why (an interview)"

Is this true?!?!?!?

 

[r124c41]

Men who make major decisions based on sex end up unhappy, but women who do so end up getting screwed. And worse, their children or eventual children also get screwed. Marriage probably won't make it thru med school, boy friends almost certainly won't. Think back to how stupid it was when your high school classmates decided on what college they were going to based on where their friends were going.... You have a chance to grab the brass ring, grab it! Your parents will thank you, your children will thank you, and you will thank you. 20 => 3 => 2 => 1: look at those numbers and don't tempt fate. Good Luck!

 

[spacecadet]

Well, I'd say take the spot. If you two really can't be apart, you can work on a transfer later, or he can move to you.

If your relationship can't survive being distant for a while, then it would have been tough through med school/residency. Who knows, you just might make it anyway!

I wouldn't count on improving your MCAT by taking it again. The stats show that people's scores rarely improve much on retests.

Why don't you want to say what school?

Good luck with your decision. It's a big one.

Pam

 

[Cameron]

Originally posted by taketwo:
•Cameron -- a question about your comment --"Since schools will see that you have been accepted in the past and turned down that acceptance, your motivation to pursue medicine may be questioned. Some schools may not give you a chance to explain why (an interview)"

Is this true?!?!?!?•

Since I have not been in the situation myself I can't say from personal experience that it will happen.

Click here to see a prior thread on this board about the issue.

My point wasn't that everyone will look down upon it. However, this process is already very competitive and I would hesitate doing anything that would give adcom's a reason to put your application in the "reject" pile -- especialliy since you didn't get that many interview chances this year.
Granted, you may retake the MCAT and significantly improve your score and thereby get more interviews next time. But if your score goes down or doesn't improve then you're shooting yourself in the foot (in addition to the issue we're talking about here).
However, if you do choose to retake the MCAT and apply again I certainly hope you succeed! Nobody here can say what the adcom's will think or how things will turn out. Good luck with the decision! Have you talked with a pre-med advisor? (not that they're always helpful.... 😛 )