Wedding during residency

[usfgator]

---

Members don't see this ad.

Hi guys and gals, I was wondering if anyone is planning to or recently has gotton married during their internship/residency. I am currently planning on marrying my girlfriend of five years during this time period. Do you feel that you have/had enough time to plan a wedding and get time off for the event plus honeymoon? I have no problem letting my girlfriend take charge with planning but I would still like to play a huge role in this great occassion. I am afraid that the constraints of a residency will prevent me from enjoying the process. I am also afraid that I would not be able to get the proper time off. Any stories and advice would be appreciated. Thanks!!

 

[smackdaddy]

yes
my wife and i were both in residency when we got marrried.
we attended several resident weddings during residency as well.

 

[usfgator]

Does anyone else have any imput for me? I really am concerned on how hard it is to request enough time off for the wedding and honeymoon. Any help would be appreciated.

 

[Dancer1986]

Reviving an old thread, but I was wondering if it is possible to plan a wedding during residency? I would not want to do it during intern year though, probably 2nd year of a pediatric residency. Is there enough time to plan a big wedding (I will be the bride, by the way), and if you have 3 weeks vacation a year would you be allowed to take 2 of them off together for a wedding and honeymoon instead of 3 sperate weeks? Is this doable, or would it be better to wait until I am in practice as an attending? I dont think before residency is possible, b/c me and my future husband will be recently out of school and will have no money to contribute for it yet! Thanks for your advice.

 

[pedidoc]

I got married during my peds residency during my 3rd year. I don't think it is too difficult, but there are some things you have to plan. The biggest thing is that at least at my residency you couldn't take two weeks off of the same rotation. They said that it doesn't give the attending enough time to evaluate you if you're only there half the time. I got around this by scheduling my wedding and honeymoon the last week of August and the 1st week of September. That way, you're only gone for a week each.

The other thing is you'll have to carefully look at what months are electives. There is no way you can take a week off in floor rotations, ICU, or NICU. Your first year you basically can't even get enough electives to do back to back months where you can take vacation.

You're also going to get a little flak if you take the first week off of a rotation. When you get back, you're behind everybody else who have already figured out what they're supposed to be doing.

It takes some planning, but you can definitely get married during residency.

 

[BlondeDocteur]

Is there enough time to plan a big wedding (I will be the bride, by the way), and if you have 3 weeks vacation a year would you be allowed to take 2 of them off together for a wedding and honeymoon...

As an aside, I'm planning a wedding right now (though I'm not a resident) and I'm doing it 100% remotely. It's quite easy nowadays to conduct everything over email, inspect vendors via websites and customer reviews, have contracts faxed, etc. I assume that, being at least in your mid-twenties and being a doctor to boot, you're not obsessed with Your Special Day in the same way that other aspiring brides might be-- and if you don't care to micromanage and trust that it will be fine, it's really a no-stress, light-hours sort of thing. Just to give you a point of reference, my wedding will be at a Cathedral and a glitzy resort on Miami Beach, with a rehearsal dinner dance party and Sunday brunch for all invited guests as well, and I spend far less than 3 hours a week worrying about it.

Finally-- you don't need 2 weeks for a wedding and a honeymoon. You need one week-- arrive on Thursday night/Friday morning of the day before, get married on Saturday, take a 5-day honeymoon, and you're back. We're taking a mini-honeymoon (3 days in a quiet villa in the Keys) then a longer, more exotic one when time permits-- you might try the same?

 

[Winged Scapula]

As noted above, its entirely possible to do a lot of the planning on line.

Taking two weeks off in a row will be difficult. There are some residencies which give you block time (ie, you take all your vacation for the year in one block) but most won't let you take more than a week off. There are good reasons as noted in the response above. In addition, some will regular *when* you can take that block - not only by rotation, but when during the rotation, there are seniority rules, and you may not be able to start your vacation on any ol' day you want (ie, ours HAD to start on a Saturday, we could not have done what BD suggests).

I would factor in enough time to get things done - add a few months on to your regular planning schedule since there may be some things you have to do in person and to work around your residency schedule.

 

[IndyXRT]

I got married during residency. My wife wasn't in medicine, so that helped. We ended up doing the wedding in Vegas (very simple, package deal sort of thing), which served as a mini-honeymoon of sorts. We took our official honeymoon the next year. It was nice to not have the stress of the wedding hanging over into the honeymoon. Whether you can take two weeks in a row will, of course, vary by residency (mine gave me no trouble at all).

 

[michaelrack]

I would not want to do it during intern year though, probably 2nd year of a pediatric residency. Is there enough time to plan a big wedding (I will be the bride, by the way), and if you have 3 weeks vacation a year would you be allowed to take 2 of them off together for a wedding and honeymoon instead of 3 sperate weeks? Is this doable, or would it be better to wait until I am in practice as an attending? I dont think before residency is possible, b/c me and my future husband will be recently out of school and will have no money to contribute for it yet!

As someone who has been married for almost 12 years, let me give you some friendly advice. The wedding ceremony is the least important part of a (hopefully) lifelong marriage. You only need a couple of days off for a wedding, the honeymoon can be delayed if necessary. Get married when you know you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don't delay marriage for several years just so you can have a fancier wedding ceremony. All you need is a preacher, a bowl of punch, and some simple cake.

 

[yadayadadude]

I've only been married half as long as michaelrack, but I think his advice is solid gold. Get married when you're ready to be married. Don't stress the rest.

Having said that, planning a wedding can be a walk in the park if a) you don't care to micromanage the details and b) you hire a wedding coordinator.

 

[jennyboo]

Hi guys and gals, I was wondering if anyone is planning to or recently has gotton married during their internship/residency. I am currently planning on marrying my girlfriend of five years during this time period. Do you feel that you have/had enough time to plan a wedding and get time off for the event plus honeymoon? I have no problem letting my girlfriend take charge with planning but I would still like to play a huge role in this great occassion. I am afraid that the constraints of a residency will prevent me from enjoying the process. I am also afraid that I would not be able to get the proper time off. Any stories and advice would be appreciated. Thanks!!

1. Get your best man / ushers.

2. Get your suit / tux (and for the guys too).

3. Book your honeymoon (doesn't necessarily have to be the same week as the wedding).

4. Let your girlfriend and her mom arrange the rest.

 

[Winged Scapula]

1. Get your best man / ushers.

2. Get your suit / tux (and for the guys too).

3. Book your honeymoon (doesn't necessarily have to be the same week as the wedding).

4. Let your girlfriend and her mom arrange the rest.

The OP posted his question 6 years ago...I hope the problem has been solved by now. 😉

 

[Pilot Doc]

Elope! Elope! Elope!

 

[dragonfly99]

yes you can get married during residency. Even ortho residents managed to do it when I was a student, which impressed me.
Try not to do it when you are an intern, though...not enough time and you'll be too tired and stressed.
I liked dr rack's comments, though 🙂
I can easilly get som punch and cake and a minister...still hunting for the husband...LOL!

 

[Dancer1986]

So what your all saying is that vacation time during residency is only given in 1 week blocks? So does that mean you can't request to be off or have a vacation day for something like your bridal shower? How do residents manage to go to other people's weddings then, do they have to take off a whole week? Sorry just a little confused.

 

[Winged Scapula]

So what your all saying is that vacation time during residency is only given in 1 week blocks? So does that mean you can't request to be off or have a vacation day for something like your bridal shower? How do residents manage to go to other people's weddings then, do they have to take off a whole week? Sorry just a little confused.

It depends on the program.

We were only allowed to have 1 week blocks which had to start on a Saturday and end on Saturday am. I know some programs where the vacation time is given in a 1 month block - ie, they got 4 weeks and you had to take it all at once. I've know others who got 2 two week blocks (but you couldn't split them). I don't know any that allow you to take a day here or a day there, but I suppose its possible.

For a few years we had some cool Chiefs that would put you on call on Thursday before your vacay (so you could have the Friday off as well) and not put you on call the weekend ending your time off (so you effectively had 10 days). We lost that when some whiny faculty members realized what was going on and made it a requirement to have no more than 7 days off in a row.

As for going to friend's weddings, you generally asked if you could be off the call schedule for that weekend and the Chief would try and accomodate you. Same goes for bridal showers or whatever.

Bear in mind that it will WILDLY vary depending on your program, the rotation and the census. It would be a mistake to think that you can take more than 1 week unless otherwise specified or that you will automatically get a day off just because you ask; some Chiefs will accomodate, some will not. There is no way you will know until you match and you start residency.

 

[BlondeDocteur]

Peds might be different, since it's historically family-friendly and 75% female, but I would say in general it would be poor form to ask for a day off-- not a post-call day, not a weekend day, but a workday-- for a bridal shower.

 

[Rogue Synapse]

I dont think before residency is possible, b/c me and my future husband will be recently out of school and will have no money to contribute for it yet!

I get this creeping feeling that there may not be a sudden influx of cash once you start your internship/residency. I'm getting married (to another med student) before we start residency because we will still have many of our friends in town (i.e., before they all ship off to their various residencies). My vote is for you to go ahead and join the one you love now, and you will have that best possible support system in place for the rigors of intern year.