What am I supposed to do?

[intlplace]

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First of all, thanks for anybody that might stop and read this. I am a Med 1 student, and I have a problem and I want your opinions guys. Two months ago, I had a tragic accident + death in my family (don't wnat to talk about it). What happened made me skip a big chuck of studying and class attendance. I also skipped a couple of exams. When I visited one of my profs, she suggested me taking the rest of the year off, a thing I was requesting from thr start fo the year and which the administration rejected. I didn't like the idea at first as I thought that studying and attending classes would be the best choice. However, because of all the stuff I missed (including exams) and the lack of concentration and severe depression I entered into, made me realize this was a good choice for me. I went with it, but it turned out that I had to apply for a leave of absence, something that they may or may not accept. I thought it is a good idea, to wait for their responce. At the same time, I had lots of responsibilies, work wise because of what happened, so I stopped attending classes.

I am now in a road with no return, it has been over a month now and they still haven; meet for deciding about it. I am really scared that I might have destroyed my whole future because of something I have no control of. And I swear, the accident was the worst thing anybody might ever imagine. Till now I am not functuoning normally, I can't even read the newspaper, let alone med 1 books. What do you suggest I do? By the way, I wasn't doing very well to start with because of personal troubles and that was why I applied for the break in the first place. Also I was not a top student (in fact I am from the bottom of the people accepted into med school).

I really want to come back next year, what do you suggest?

 

[Forthegood]

Plead your case to anyone who you think it may help to. Say exactly what you said. You may want to add something along the lines of, "being away from it gave me a new perspective, and really confirmed that this is what i want to do, and i want to do it well".

 

[devilpup]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it can be to try and refocus on med school after a tragic loss. Briefly, my father passed away a couple months ago in the beginning of the 2nd block. Immediately I contacted the office of student affairs which made the process of asking for a leave of absence (LOA) easy and straightforward. It's a formal process that requires some paper work and the signature of the dean.

I don't understand why your school would not want to grant you the LOA seeing the severity of the case. But as the previous poster suggested- plead your case. There is no point continuing this year if you cannot concentrate and get the most out of your studies. Also, the emotional toll can be too much to bear and seeking help in the form of grief counseling (e.g. grief group) can be very helpful. Talking to someone you can trust helps a lot.

Some people deal with loss in the different ways. Some people in my class have taken LOA and others have not. There is no disadvantage or shame and it will not look bad in your record if you took the LOA given the nature of the case. In the grand scheme of your future career, taking some time off will actually help you. Dealing with your loss so that you can then succeed in your schooling is important. I ended resuming my studies 2 weeks after his passing and the school made that possible with the help of counseling etc. Feel free to PM me, and good luck.

 

[ghostdog]

it sounds like they are punishing you for not following through with the system. like the previous poster said, as soon as there was a family matter the person went straight away and made arrangements.

that being said you were not in a state of mind to do this (paper work)in a timely matter. i wouldn't wait for them to make a descion, I would talk to dean , class pres, i don't know, someone to see why it is taking so long. a month? wow.

then i would make sure i have a paper trail. emails i have sent to people regarding the issue; thier responses, everything.

above all make sure you go through the schools counseling. in my case the incident was so tragic, and i wasn't doing well, that i was strongly encouraged to leave. im still here and let me tell you, dealing with the fall out of your classes just adds to stress.

talk to someone right away, write down what you are going to say before hand so you sound like a person who wants to come back and is willing to do what it takes--explaining why you didn't take a LOA in the beginning--you dont want to be sobbing or pleading even if you have every right to.
goodluck.

 

[eforest]

Some medical schools make taking a leave of absence very difficult. I got sick (depressed) and asked repeatedly for a leave of absence. The dean's office refused.

Finally my doctor pretty much ordered me to go to the emergency room because I was such a basket case and I was hospitalized for two weeks.

My medical school is known for not being very lenient. Maybe the OP's is the same way.