What distinguishes confidence from arrogance, and how to walk this fine line with a successful application cycle

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fgh32112

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I notice often that applicants with many interviews on SDN get shot down for being arrogant or insensitive to those with fewer interviews. Sometimes it seems that even mentioning that one is confident about their success is enough to garner a response. Do people who are having a successful cycle really need to be so careful in choosing their words as to not hurt the feelings of others? Are people really so sensitive? Throughout high school, college, and grad school, I’ve been surrounded by extremely accomplished people who achieved more than I ever will. I don’t go around calling them arrogant or egotistical. Instead, I look up to them and this motivates me to work even harder. I’ve noticed on SDN that people REALLY like to make inferences about members based on their posts. To me, when people start trashing others due to their success, it just comes off as being salty. Are people on SDN more sensitive than the general population. I’ve never had a problem in the real world, and some of my recommendation letter writers called me extremely humble in their letters.
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Haha! I read this thread (and thought to myself wow this person sounds clueless about how they come off), kept going though my new posts feed, and then found a thread from a kid who was humble bragging about all this interviews he got but was disappointed he didn't get one at NYU. Then later in the thread he reappears to humble brag about how he did get invited to interview at NYU! Angels rejoice! So that thread got locked because people were tired of the giant tool-ish-ness of it... at which point I wondered if this thread was the OP's reaction to his other thread getting locked. So I hit my history, and BOOM! Sure enough they're one and the same.

So the answer I didn't post here initially is - if the whole world has a problem with you, you're probably the problem, not the world.
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thumbz said:
Haha! I read this thread (and thought to myself wow this person sounds clueless about how they come off), kept going though my new posts feed, and then found a thread from a kid who was humble bragging about all this interviews he got but was disappointed he didn't get one at NYU. Then later in the thread he reappears to humble brag about how he did get invited to interview at NYU! Angels rejoice! So that thread got locked because people were tired of the giant tool-ish-ness of it... at which point I wondered if this thread was the OP's reaction to his other thread getting locked. So I hit my history, and BOOM! Sure enough they're one and the same.

So the answer I didn't post here initially is - if the whole world has a problem with you, you're probably the problem, not the world.
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What I’m saying is precisely the opposite. The whole world doesn't have a problem with me, only the SDN community. So are the people on SDN more sensitive or quicker to calling people out for discussing their accomplishments?
 
Many things.

SDN is a place where people care (too much sometimes) and compare (again, way too much). Naturally, medical school admissions is a comparative process so applicants naturally compare themselves to others. Reality is, stats get you to the door, but the rest of your application holds it open. No one, regardless of their stats, is guaranteed a spot anywhere, although to some it appears that way. When people with many interviews ask about why not one more, people with less will obviously not be happy (for good reasons) with why someone is complaining.

People rush to judgment without knowing anything about a person or their circumstances. This place (SDN) is a place where neuroticism and comparison peak to the extreme, myself included.

It is okay to be proud of your own accomplishment, but sometimes, to some people, it appears to be braggadocious.

People should neither criticize or be criticized for either (bragging or complaining about bragging) because there is no point. We as people say things to make ourselves feel better. People are sensitive, more so here because of the anonymity.

People can be more humble and ask things in certain ways. "I have interviews, I am grateful, but I am holding out for XYZ. People who received an interview from XYZ, what did it take?"

In the end, it doesn't matter what you say or what others say. Ignore them as they can ignore you just the same. Focus on yourself, your interviews, your reapplication, your hobbies, your life; those things are way more important than instantly judging and complaining about someone "bragging" when really they could have good intentions and people are just ignorant.
 
fgh32112 said:
The whole world doesn't have a problem with me, only the SDN community.
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As a certain wise black cat that lurks around here once told me "Humor does not travel well over the electrons" - so to say that people easily get offended on here when they should see humor.
Yes, the SDN community is somewhat like the arrivist bourgeoisie. All so eager to show off their wealth of II's and hard work, whether they have them or not, but when they come to find that you've been more successful than them in the same system playing by the same rules, they will be the first to shoot you down.
 
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fgh32112 said:
Throughout high school, college, and grad school, I’ve been surrounded by extremely accomplished people who achieved more than I ever will. I don’t go around calling them arrogant or egotistical. Instead, I look up to them and this motivates me to work even harder
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This is confidence/humility.

fgh32112 said:
I’ve never had a problem in the real world, and some of my recommendation letter writers called me extremely humble in their letters
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This is arrogance.
 
FutureSurgical said:
"I’ve never had a problem in the real world, and some of my recommendation letter writers called me extremely humble in their letters"
This is arrogance.
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arrogant: "having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities". What in this shows an inflated sense of self worth?
 
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mute said:
Seems like your not getting the pat on the back you were looking for from SDN and now you're mad you didn't get that validation.
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Lmao I don’t care about sdn validation. I just want to not get attacked. Big difference.
 
fgh32112 said:
Lmao I don’t care about sdn validation. I just want to not get attacked. Big difference.
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Best way to not get attacked is to keep your head down. Stick to the individual school forums. They see a big difference between 'I got 15 II's' vs 15 individual posts to the individual school threads talking about the cycle, individual school threads are much more supportive too. The bolsheviks cannot come for your wealth if they cannot find it.
 
Detective SnowBucket said:
Best way to not get attacked is to keep your head down. Stick to the individual school forums. They see a big difference between 'I got 15 II's' vs 15 individual posts to the individual school threads talking about the cycle, individual school threads are much more supportive too. The bolsheviks cannot come for your wealth if they cannot find it.
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Lolol nice analogy at the end
 
mute said:
Why are you being "attacked" though?
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Because anyone is willing to shoot down someone more successful than them. Evaluate why you yourself so not-so-subtly passive aggressively told OP to grow up in your very last post on this thread and then ask yourself why you would attack him.
 
fgh32112 said:
If you read my other thread, you will find people calling me arrogant, egotistical, etc and that I will fail med school and residency.
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Who cares what others on here say? It shouldnt bother you that much to make a whole post about it. You claimthe SDN community is sensitive, yet this post comes off as sensitive as well. Congrats on all your success in the cycle thus far.
 
fgh32112 said:
If you read my other thread, you will find people calling me arrogant, egotistical, etc and that I will fail med school and residency.
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That didn't answer the question, but I really don't care that much. Good luck. Hopefully you're right.
 
@fgh32112 You're pathetic for trolling on a burner account.

- You only post in your own threads.
- You only have two threads.
- Your pattern of behavior in both threads is identical.
----- You start every post by humble bragging in order to bait an emotional reaction.
----- You subsequently play the victim card.
----- You posted within a large time space, but you still revisted your own older thread to reiterate how you were offended from responses posted on September 18th.
- Your complaint doesn't match your behavior e.g. issues with the community with only two threads on this site.
----- Burner account v trolling v both.
 
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Select All That Apply said:
@fgh32112 You're pathetic for trolling on a burner account.

- You only post in your own threads.
- You only have two threads.
- Your pattern of behavior in both threads is identical.
----- You start every post by humble bragging in order to bait an emotional reaction.
----- You subsequently play the victim card.
----- You posted within a large time space, but you still revisted your own older thread to reiterate how you were offended from responses posted on September 18th.
- Your complaint doesn't match your behavior e.g. issues with the community with only two threads on this site.
----- Burner account v trolling v both.
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There ya have it OP, people attack you because.....because...umm, you only post in your own threads? You revisit old ones? You have only started 2 threads?
 
mute said:
Yeah why’d he get a post hold? I didn’t see anything that stood out.
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No clue, it was probably deleted. If you read @fgh32112 previous thread, he left enough details to conclude it's definitely @Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick

He probably created the alt account to prove that people were biased against him. It backfired when they still called him arrogant without knowing his true identity. Everyone hates him because he's so successful, etc.
 
procrastitator said:
No clue, it was probably deleted. If you read @fgh32112 previous thread, he left enough details to conclude it's definitely @Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick

He probably created the alt account to prove that people were biased against him. It backfired when they still called him arrogant without knowing his true identity.
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That's actually pretty revealing, I took OP's side here and I also liked patrick
 
lolol I like these conspiracy theories of me being meme lord aka Patrick. Our stats don’t match. I have a phd and he doesn’t. Also I don’t think he ever got NYU?? We are similar tho in that we’re both pretty confident about our apps.
 
Select All That Apply said:
@fgh32112 You're pathetic for trolling on a burner account.

- You only post in your own threads.
- You only have two threads.
- Your pattern of behavior in both threads is identical.
----- You start every post by humble bragging in order to bait an emotional reaction.
----- You subsequently play the victim card.
----- You posted within a large time space, but you still revisted your own older thread to reiterate how you were offended from responses posted on September 18th.
- Your complaint doesn't match your behavior e.g. issues with the community with only two threads on this site.
----- Burner account v trolling v both.
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I’m a real person asking real questions. I made my first sdn account after being a long time lurker and after being put on hold looking for answers. The reactions I got on that thread made me pretty upset so I decided to lay off of SDN for a while. Once I got my interview and a couple acceptances it reminded me of my old thread which is why I’m back on. All these responses remind me of why SDN is just a bunch of premed who are neurotic and like to bring others down who are having a successful cycle. If anything I feel like other people are trolling me by posting memes that make fun of me or just generally being mean :’(
 
fgh32112 said:
lolol I like these conspiracy theories of me being meme lord aka Patrick. Our stats don’t match. I have a phd and he doesn’t. Also I don’t think he ever got NYU?? We are similar tho in that we’re both pretty confident about our apps.
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Yeah it's not like the signature panel is easily edited or that information is easily falsified on an online forum or anything.
 
fgh32112 said:
lolol I like these conspiracy theories of me being meme lord aka Patrick. Our stats don’t match. I have a phd and he doesn’t. Also I don’t think he ever got NYU?? We are similar tho in that we’re both pretty confident about our apps.
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The best trolls change a few details to throw us off 😉
 
FreeGibbs said:
Yeah it's not like the signature panel is easily edited or that information is easily falsified on an online forum or anything.
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Ya but like there is nothing really in common. You’re looking for connections that aren’t there...
 
fgh32112 said:
lolol I like these conspiracy theories of me being meme lord aka Patrick. Our stats don’t match. I have a phd and he doesn’t. Also I don’t think he ever got NYU?? We are similar tho in that we’re both pretty confident about our apps.
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I think arrogant and aloof is more appropriate for y’all than confidence
 
Futuredocplz531 said:
I think arrogant and aloof is more appropriate for y’all than confidence
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See this is what I mean and is my main question of this thread. What makes someone confident vs arrogant? It seems like everyone calls me arrogant whenever I say that I’m confident.
 
fgh32112 said:
See this is what I mean and is my main question of this thread. What makes someone confident vs arrogant? It seems like everyone calls me arrogant whenever I say that I’m confident.
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Generally when people are confident in their abilities they don’t feel the need to announce to everyone how great they are. They prove it through their actions rather than humble bragging. Similar concept to the old saying “money talks but wealth whispers”
 
fgh32112 said:
See this is what I mean and is my main question of this thread. What makes someone confident vs arrogant? It seems like everyone calls me arrogant whenever I say that I’m confident.
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Why does it matter. Why do you need strangers on forums to like you. It comes off as arrogant if you feel offended that you're getting hate or you're not getting the validation you need.

Just keep being you, there's always gonna be haters at your enormous success. A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of ants. Eventually, others with large successes will notice you and have that hot steamy discussion that you've needed.
 
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