What to do when your recommender stops answering

[psych for path]

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I know this has been asked for someone else, but I am starting to get highly worried about my recommender's lack of response to me as of late...basically, I feel like there is a high likelihood his letters aren't gettin in by the deadline. Anyone have any advice? Any idea if most schools won't consider you if you have everything else there on time?

 

[phillips101]

I'm having a similar problem...

 

[Pragma]

I'd say it depends on how much you have contacted them already. If you have been bothering them with lots of contact, then they may be ignoring you until they have it written. If you haven't - well then just understand that some people don't enjoy frequent communication. But an alternative is to have a backup writer to submit a letter for you just in case.

 

[psychsquirrel]

Yeeeah, one of my recommenders just stopped responding to my emails, so I never got their recommendation. Luckily, I already had 3 of them, so I was okay. A grad student I know told me to be persistent because professors are likely not thinking about you and your letter, so you should try to speak with them in person. Good luck!!

 

[ResearchGirlie]

I'd say it depends on how much you have contacted them already. If you have been bothering them with lots of contact, then they may be ignoring you until they have it written. If you haven't - well then just understand that some people don't enjoy frequent communication. But an alternative is to have a backup writer to submit a letter for you just in case.

Agreed 100%

 

[phillips101]

My writer has submitted half of the recommendations altogether. Then as I started finishing more apps, he stopped responding. When I tried to call, it felt very intrusive and almost dismissive. I just submitted all my apps, have been sending him emails updating him about it, but nothing yet. I know there's still 3 more weeks until Dec. 1st, but he just went MIA on me since the first batch of submissions. The letters are all written, so there's no question about that. It's just a matter of him actually logging in to hit submit...
I'm trying not to worry about it, and also trying not to be rude or pester them, but if he doesn't submit it by the end of this week, I'm not sure what to do.

 

[2012PhD]

As a rule of thumb, I always ask 4 people for letters instead of 3!

Also, following up with a phone call works better for me than emailing.

 

[thewesternsky]

My writer has submitted half of the recommendations altogether. Then as I started finishing more apps, he stopped responding. When I tried to call, it felt very intrusive and almost dismissive. I just submitted all my apps, have been sending him emails updating him about it, but nothing yet. I know there's still 3 more weeks until Dec. 1st, but he just went MIA on me since the first batch of submissions. The letters are all written, so there's no question about that. It's just a matter of him actually logging in to hit submit...
I'm trying not to worry about it, and also trying not to be rude or pester them, but if he doesn't submit it by the end of this week, I'm not sure what to do.

Do nothing. Email him on November 27 or 28 with a short reminder. The letter's written; it's fine. He was dismissive because he's very busy and your anxiety (while probably distressing-- the application process sucks!) is not his problem.

 

[ResearchGirlie]

I would find a phone call intrusive especially when your deadline is 3+ weeks down the road.

 

[phillips101]

I would find a phone call intrusive especially when your deadline is 3+ weeks down the road.

And I agree. I regretted it right when he picked up 🙁
But at least from that call, I know he isn't on vacation and is still in the office.

 

[mewtoo]

One of my recommenders /professors doesn't respond to her e-mail regularly. I did an independent research project with her, so I fortunately know how to push her buttons and get her to respond. Like I kept sending e-mails named "letter of rec mail." I wasn't hounding her, these were actual updates and instructions, but I kept asking her if she'd have my snail mail letters ready for me this Friday. She never answered until I named the e-mail "letter of recs for FRIDAY." She apologized in her reply, saying that she was saving all the e-mails for this weekend and didn't realize I had put any deadlines up.

Have you tried putting something with temporal relevance that may make your recommender actually open it now, instead of herding it until he/she is ready to do your letters again? Also, have you known/e-mailed this professor for a while? Is this out of character for him/her? The one I mentioned earlier always takes a few days at least to respond, but I have one I thought something had happened to her when she didn't respond for 2 days.

 

[phillips101]

One of my recommenders /professors doesn't respond to her e-mail regularly. I did an independent research project with her, so I fortunately know how to push her buttons and get her to respond. Like I kept sending e-mails named "letter of rec mail." I wasn't hounding her, these were actual updates and instructions, but I kept asking her if she'd have my snail mail letters ready for me this Friday. She never answered until I named the e-mail "letter of recs for FRIDAY." She apologized in her reply, saying that she was saving all the e-mails for this weekend and didn't realize I had put any deadlines up.

Have you tried putting something with temporal relevance that may make your recommender actually open it now, instead of herding it until he/she is ready to do your letters again? Also, have you known/e-mailed this professor for a while? Is this out of character for him/her? The one I mentioned earlier always takes a few days at least to respond, but I have one I thought something had happened to her when she didn't respond for 2 days.

I think I'll use your trick after Thanksgiving. But for now, there's nothing I can do that won't make me seem pushy.

 

[2012PhD]

And I agree. I regretted it right when he picked up 🙁
But at least from that call, I know he isn't on vacation and is still in the office.

Sorry about that. Several of my letter writers were pleased when I called them with a friendly reminder since they get a ton of emails every day and tend to forget. Phone calls have always worked for me when someone has not responded. I guess it depends on your relationship and how you approach the call.

 

[ResearchGirlie]

And I agree. I regretted it right when he picked up 🙁
But at least from that call, I know he isn't on vacation and is still in the office.

It's ok; I'm sure they aren't ruminating about the call! Just give them a couple weeks and send an email with a reminder and offer to help in any way you can (they won't ask for help, it's just nice to offer).

My graduate advisor doesn't submit my rec letters until the day they are due. It would be nice if he got them in early, but he has so much going on that he waits to the last minute. Doesn't mean that he isn't invested in writing a good letter, just says that his schedule is busy.

 

[InNae]

I'm sure a lot of us submit them in batches closer to the due date. Keep in mind most faculty are writing for multiple applicants and multiple types of programs. I batch process (usually about 15-20 in one sitting) all of those emails that get sent with links.

Also keep in mind that most of the emails/links are not a straightforward click on the link in the email, get directed to an upload form, upload letter, and done. For some (most) there are multiple layers of passwords and logins, followed by the recommender forms that are different for just about every program, followed by uploads, some of which require several steps themselves. You do not want your recommender trying to rush through that process between everything else they have to do on a given day, just because you submitted your parts at that time.

Short answer - I agree with the above suggestion to wait until closer to the deadlines to send a gentle reminder, and not to bombard the adviser with tons of emails or calls.

 

[psych for path]

Thanks everyone, this has been really helpful. My biggest concern right now is that the SNAIL mail letters actually get put in the mail by 10 days before 12/1, which believe it or not is 6 days from today! Additionally, one of my schools requires that I mail my transcript and everything else WITH the letters in that package, so I physically need the letter mailed back to me in time to overnight the rest of my application materials to the school!

This is very very normal for this prof, and I have been a bit annoying with email. Because I'm not on campus anymore, my most recent unrequited offer was to drive up there and get the letters, but at this point I feel I am out of options.

Given the circumstance, do you all think it is time I request an urgent letter from a 4th? 😕

 

[mewtoo]

Thanks everyone, this has been really helpful. My biggest concern right now is that the SNAIL mail letters actually get put in the mail by 10 days before 12/1, which believe it or not is 6 days from today! Additionally, one of my schools requires that I mail my transcript and everything else WITH the letters in that package, so I physically need the letter mailed back to me in time to overnight the rest of my application materials to the school!

This is very very normal for this prof, and I have been a bit annoying with email. Because I'm not on campus anymore, my most recent unrequited offer was to drive up there and get the letters, but at this point I feel I am out of options.

Given the circumstance, do you all think it is time I request an urgent letter from a 4th? 😕

Hmmm... To me that's a tough call. Would this 4th recommender write you as good of a letter as the recommender in question? If this happened to me I would be SOL because I'd probably get a generic letter from anyone I asked to be my 4th.

The timing is hard too. I would say wait until after Thanksgiving to give your recommender a chance, but then again your packet would be a problem and then its short notice to your 4th on top of that. I think you need to really think about your prof's behavior and think about if he would actually let you down and not send them. My prof may be slow, but I trust she'll get everything done in time as she always has before. If you feel the same way about your prof then you might just want to just begrudgingly wait it out.

I don't know if you've informed him a lot about what day you need the snail mail letters by, but I'd suggest this coming Monday to send him another e-mail, in the style I said earlier, telling him that the other online ones can wait but you NEED these letters by X date. Be apologetic as all hell, but make sure he gets the urgency in this. If he doesn't respond to that you may want to start looking for a 4th.

Also, we're only 16 days away from the deadlines? 😱

 

[psych for path]

Mewtoo, all good points. My 4th letter would definitely be more generic, but depending on who I ask (and who would agree given the ridiculous time constraints) it could be fairly good - however, one of the options is very scatter brained and known for missing deadlines, and the other is not a prof but a class dean 🙁 Thoughts?