What would you do if your PI was sleeping with the most senior PhD student?

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Arbor Vitae

Arbor Vitae

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...and that PhD student was given extreme favoritism and allowed to act as a second boss and even verbally berate other members with no consequence?


Edit: Could this be used as a reason not to finish my MS, withdraw from the program, and just continue with med school?
 
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Leave the lab and apply to another one. It's the PI's lab. If he wants to sleep with a consenting student who is older than 18, that's his choice.
 
JoshuaGuit said:
Leave the lab and apply to another one. It's the PI's lab. If he wants to sleep with a consenting student who is older than 18, that's his choice.
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OP never said PI was a guy. I bet PhD student was sleeping with his PI boss lady. Am I right OP? 👍
 
My PI is male, and I'm within a semester of completing an MS based off research in his lab. It's just getting to the point where this student thinks she can do whatever she wants. Like literally flipping out on lab members while the boss just sits there and says nothing.
 
I'll ask the same question I do of all of these threads:

Are they hot?
 
Many things, but they all end in "get down tonight."

Working in their lab is your job. Do your job or quit. That's pretty much it. I would do what I need to do, and ignore the PhD student power-tripping. Not worth the effort to make a big deal out of it.

Of course, if your school explicitly bans such activities, you may feel a moral obligation to report it. My school doesn't have anything like that.
 
Bearstronaut said:
Many things, but they all end in "get down tonight."

Working in their lab is your job. Do your job or quit. That's pretty much it.
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Yea I get that, I'm just getting real tired of this BS. Helps that I just got accepted to an MD program, but I still need to finish my MS.


La Presse said:
Nothing. It's his business.
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That's how I felt at first. Now I see it affecting everyone. There is another student who joined at the same time as her, and she has probably 6-7 papers coauthored with the PI, and the other student just barely got their first one. Both students have been there about 5-6 years.
 
Bearstronaut said:
Of course, if your school explicitly bans such activities, you may feel a moral obligation to report it. My school doesn't have anything like that.
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+1. Our school has an anonymous reporting program for ethically dubious situations such as these. Maybe you can do it after getting your MS?
 
I think I replied too hastily. How is this affecting you besides teh abuse. Is it a lab where you have established yourself and published a number of works or perhaps have already gained some leverage with the PI?
 
La Presse said:
I think I replied too hastily. How is this affecting you besides teh abuse. Is it a lab where you have established yourself and published a number of works or perhaps have already gained some leverage with the PI?
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She knows not to berate me, because I won't tolerate that, but other members are treated horribly. This girl pretty much runs the lab and the PI is whipped. I'm pretty well established in lab, but the rest of us fend for ourselves, and she's pretty much the only one who publishes with the PI.
 
MuAgonist said:
negative
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:barf:

MuAgonist said:
My PI is male, and I'm within a semester of completing an MS based off research in his lab. It's just getting to the point where this student thinks she can do whatever she wants. Like literally flipping out on lab members while the boss just sits there and says nothing.
Click to expand...

Don't worry about it. Your PI's matter doesn't concern you. You already got into med school, so the main goal is resolved. Just ignore the grad student and focus on your work. Maybe strive to complete it as soon as possible? It's a suggestion.
 
MuAgonist said:
She knows not to berate me, because I won't tolerate that, but other members are treated horribly. This girl pretty much runs the lab and the PI is whipped. I'm pretty well established in lab, but the rest of us fend for ourselves, and she's pretty much the only one who publishes with the PI.
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So...what's the problem? You are unaffected.
 
Irish Football said:
How do you know they're sleeping together?
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I don't want to say too much for fear of somebody from my school seeing this, but basically I used to work for a friend of his ex-wife. Notice how I said ex, which happened recently due to this. Everybody in the department knows now. His ex-wife is also faculty, lol.
 
La Presse said:
So...what's the problem? You are unaffected.
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The environment is not a good place right now. Everybody wants to leave. Nobody will join. Basically we all feel like it us vs. them. The level of favoritism is ridiculous. I'm holding back alot because I don't want to reveal too much. I know somebody from my school could easily see this.
 
Sounds like a soap opera set in a lab. :corny:

When they break up, he will probably use science to make a clone of her that will love him unconditionally. Or hurt her in a freakishly brutal mad-scientist sort of way (Injection with a microbe? Disfiguring lab accident?) Brb, I'm going to start writing the pilot for this show...

Sorry I can't give you any helpful advice...
 
You've probably already said too much Mu. It's not worth someone seeing this, you should probably just delete your posts.
 
Irish Football said:
You've probably already said too much Mu. It's not worth someone seeing this, you should probably just delete your posts.
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Everyone at the school knows already, lol. If they figure out it's me on here then whatever.
 
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JoshuaGuit said:
Leave the lab and apply to another one. It's the PI's lab. If he wants to sleep with a consenting student who is older than 18, that's his choice.
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Is it really that simple? He's in a position of authority and has now given this PhD student carte blanche to run the lab.

OP, if it is true that most of the department knows, you can post an anonymous complaint to the dean or chancellor. That should be enough to scare the department into talking to him.
 
When is this senior PhD student going to graduate? You know she isn't going to break up with your PI before she graduates... that would be a disaster for her committee.
 
Ahhh...forbidden love. I'm getting hot just reading through this thread.
 
Irish Football said:
OP never said PI was a guy. I bet PhD student was sleeping with his PI boss lady. Am I right OP? 👍
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The PI is really a robot created by the phd student who is actually the PI.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile
 
Josh7 said:
When is this senior PhD student going to graduate? You know she isn't going to break up with your PI before she graduates... that would be a disaster for her committee.
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Exactly, so I'm afraid to say too much here. Am I breaking any rules? I'm trying not give away anybody's identity. Basically let's just say the PhD student is now a post-doc, HR got involved, with attorneys, but there's no proof, so I guess nothing came of it. Now this just continues I guess because they feel that they can keep their secret. But the amount of sneaking around they do is actually kind of hilarious, but awkward when you run in to them in public and they try to avoid you.


TriagePreMed said:
Is it really that simple? He's in a position of authority and has now given this PhD student carte blanche to run the lab.

OP, if it is true that most of the department knows, you can post an anonymous complaint to the dean or chancellor. That should be enough to scare the department into talking to him.
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this has already been done but you cant prove it. you need a sextape or something i guess. I'm just saying it's gotten to the point where I don't even want my MS and would rather continue to med school, BUT I probably need to finish for some schools. I would walk away tomorrow if it didn't have any consequences.
 
If you are going to quit, might as well humiliate him and bring it up at the next lab meeting in front of all the graduate students and postdocs.


Then write a letter to the president of research describing the favoritism. Then send a letter to his NIH grant reviewers. Ruin this ****ers life.

I mean aren't you mad? I would be really pissed at this guy as well as that bimbo. He is royally screwing over everyone in your lab.


By the time you are done with him, he will have 0 leverage against you.
 
Venom5 said:
If you are going to quit, might as well humiliate him and bring it up at the next lab meeting in front of all the graduate students and postdocs.


Then write a letter to the president of research describing the favoritism. Then send a letter to his NIH grant reviewers. Ruin this ****ers life.

I mean aren't you mad? I would be really pissed at this guy as well as that bimbo. He is royally screwing over everyone in your lab.
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lol, yea, I could go alot of ways with this. I just want to know in this situation, would a med school make me finish for my acceptance?
 
MuAgonist said:
lol, yea, I could go alot of ways with this. I just want to know in this situation, would a med school make me finish for my acceptance?
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Can't the president of research or whoever is in charge allow you to switch labs?
 
Venom5 said:
Can't the president of research or whoever is in charge allow you to switch labs?
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I guess I could switch labs and finish my thesis if somebody were willing to fund the research, although it'd be weird seeing this dude in the halls after that. I bet the school would even just give me my degree right now in this situation to avoid a mess.
 
MuAgonist said:
I guess I could do this and finish my thesis, although it'd be weird seeing this dude in the halls after that.
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Lol it would be hilarious.. Laugh at him and walk away


fiftyandfriends.gif
 
Venom5 said:
If you are going to quit, might as well humiliate him and bring it up at the next lab meeting in front of all the graduate students and postdocs.


Then write a letter to the president of research describing the favoritism. Then send a letter to his NIH grant reviewers. Ruin this ****ers life.

I mean aren't you mad? I would be really pissed at this guy as well as that bimbo. He is royally screwing over everyone in your lab.


By the time you are done with him, he will have 0 leverage against you.
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Not to be a downer but I don't think a masters candidate is going to be able to "ruin" a tenured professors life. Sending letters to the NIH would be futile. They're interested in his research... Not the way he's running the lab or his personal life.

By the way, I like your avatar.

For OP, I would leave the lab immediately. Why not schedule a meeting with the department head? Make sure to have a very good idea about what you're going to discuss with him and how you feel your standing is with the department (are you going to want to switch lab groups? or just quit the program altogether?). If you come across in a calm and deliberate manner I don't see how this could hurt you.
 
Josh7 said:
Not to be a downer but I don't think a masters candidate is going to be able to "ruin" a tenured professors life. Sending letters to the NIH would be futile. They're interested in his research... Not the way he's running the lab or his personal life.
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Yeah it probably wouldn't actually do anything but the PI would get pissed off lol.

edit: and it just might... I mean grants are really hard to come by these days. And the grant reviewers may just as well be his colleagues in the respective field.
 
co-impregnante the PhD student, finish your M.S and matriculate. By the time she starts showing you'll be far away
 
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