What Would You Give Up To Be A Doctor?

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antihero94

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I guess I never really thought about this question until now (I am a second year medical student). It is 10:30 on a Saturday on Memorial Day weekend, and I am just wrapping up a full day of studying while everyone else was out having fun. Over the past year I got in a huge fight with my best friend largely precipitated by the fact that I have not been around as much. I am missing my sister's high school graduation for an exam. The greater part of my June will be consumed with studying for USMLE (and I am not an idiot).

So here is my question to all you SDN's who seem as though you would be willing to sell your soul's to be doctors (or at least get into medical school. What would you be willing to give up to be a doctor?

Friday and Saturday nights to study?
You relationship with your significant other?
Your relationship with your best friend?
Your hobbies?
Your free time?
Your sanity? haha jk

Now, I am not implying you will necessarily have to give up any or all of these things. But, balancing time is hard. TRUST ME. I live with my fiance, and balance my responsibilities as a fiance, friend, brother, son, and medical student, as well as trying to maintain my hobbies of sports, snowboarding, gu itar, music etc.

I guess I just think that if you are not willing to at least entertain the idea that becoming a medical doctor may cost you some of these things you might want to consider an equally rewarding, but less demanding career.
 
Nothing.
 
i don't plan on giving up integral parts of myself. I commit myself to spending the time studying... in undergrad i lost a lot of friends who couldn't understand my commitment... well, they're not very good friends. I'm always there when necessary no matter how busy, i'm someone you can trust, i'm fun when i have the time, but if people can't accept what i'm committed to they're not very good friends. I have a wonderful boyfriend now who fully understands what it is i'll be going through. I have promised myself at least 30 minutes a day to devote to writing. I am throwing away my t.v., limiting my time on the internet in med school. And playing the piano i'm taking with me at least once a day. And certain things i will HAVE to put aside for short times, maybe even long times, but i'm not giving these things up. its just a juggling act. sometimes, even when juggling, you have to put down a few balls for a little while so you don't drop them all. they're always there to pick up again.
 
I have thought about this because I have two young children. I will probably miss a great deal of the next 8 years of their lives. My daughter will be 11 and my son will be 9 when I'm done with residency. I have to consider how my absense will affect them. I hope I don't have to make a choice between my children's wellbeing and medicine, because its obvious to me what the choice will have to be - and thats not good because at that point in time, I will be mountain high in debt. I'm encouraged by the fact that there are others out there like me who are succeeding. I also know that my husband will do everything possible to make this work out, which means being there for our children.
 
I just realized (after reading the OP a second time) that I've given up most of the things s/he mentioned by being a parent... and that wasn't even a choice, (although poor use of birthcontrol was 😉 )
 
In clarification: This is not a feel bad for me post. I chose to do this, and I wouldn't change my position in life for anything in the world. I am actually one of the most sane, happiest medical students you will probably meet. Just trying to envoke some self reflection on the part of others, especially after I have noticed the absolute insane drive of people to get into medical school.
 
I gave up a professional career as an international opera singer, something I had trained for since I was 14 years old. I ended up turning down my dream role to start my post-bacc program.

I guess after you give up a childhood dream, Friday and Saturday nights don't seem like a big deal. 😳
 
I'd give up my left testicle. I've never been particularly fond of the little bastard, but it's a bold statement nonetheless! :meanie:


(NOTE: sarcasm)
 
coriannegirl said:
I gave up a professional career as an international opera singer, something I had trained for since I was 14 years old. I ended up turning down my dream role to start my post-bacc program.

I guess after you give up a childhood dream, Friday and Saturday nights don't seem like a big deal. 😳
Click to expand...

Wow! And i thought giving up my job was a big deal... Giving up something you've dedicated much of your life to is amazing! You definitely have the tenacity and dedication to become a great physician. Best of luck!
 
I wouldn't give up anything, for I have nothing to give! 😀

That sounded weird
 
I'd give up any of my material possessions... and I got a LOT of stuff 😛
 
Working full time while doing the premed thing has already forced me to give up things for this journey. There were times this last semester that my weeks were 100+ hours long.

I must say I'm definatly enjoying the summer break. I never thought I'd say I'm glad that all I have to do is hold down a full time job. *shakes head*
 
I just gave up an $80k/year job so I can go to school (post-bacc) full time...damn, I better get into med school!
 
antihero94 said:
So here is my question to all you SDN's who seem as though you would be willing to sell your soul's to be doctors (or at least get into medical school. What would you be willing to give up to be a doctor?

Friday and Saturday nights to study?
You relationship with your significant other?
Your relationship with your best friend?
Your hobbies?
Your free time?
Your sanity? haha jk
Click to expand...

I have already given up most of that already, actually :/
 
Friday and Saturday nights to study? I already work these nights so it's not going to be a big change
You relationship with your significant other? She goes to school 400 miles from where I live...so we only see each other maybe two weekends out of a month as it is now (that will change come next May)
Your relationship with your best friend? My best friend from the time I was in elementary school until I was 20 died in a car accident; my current "best" friend lives an hour and a half away so I seldom get to see her
Your hobbies? :meanie: I don't have much time for them now as it stands.....
Your free time? See above....what free time?
Your sanity? haha jk Trust me, if all the crap I've seen and the crap my family has put me through hasn't driven me stark raving mad, I don't think med school stands much of a chance

And I thought you had a challenge for me :meanie:
 
Id give the hair off my back... literally 😀
 
Realistically, I'd give up my Friday and Saturday nights if need be, but I'd try not to. I wouldn't want to give up anything, but if push-came-shove, I don't know. Definitely not any relationships though. Maybe a hobby.
 
Eight years of my life and 160K worth of debt!
 
I used to ask myself this when I was applying to med school. Ah, the memories...
 
I think I would give up my hobbies first. Let me see...drinking, gambling...Hey! maybe medical school will be even better for me than i thought!
 
People talk as though doctors are the only ones with careers that work hard, long hours (away from family and friends). Try truck drivers, salespeople

Stress? Try firefighters, law enforcement, prison guards..


Sure there are things we give up to go to medical school, but there are things we give up when we get married, get new jobs, etc.


I get the feeling that many students do not ever work during school, then they get into the real world (such as a regular job) and find out how stressful and hard life really can be.

Life is good guys. There are people that would give up a lot to be in our position. We need to appreciate everything that we have worked towards and our abilities to learn.



As my friend put it the other day (after a night of drinking) = We could be working graves at IHOP on a Memorial Day Weekend, squeegeeing YAK off the bathroom floor. :laugh: :laugh: Yes, it happened.. =)
 
everything I have "given up" I realized I was just tired of in the first place... I consider getting in to med school and MCAT studying to be my hobby, interest, just as much as going out and partying it up almost everyday of the week during undergrad was... I consider this fun nowadays, makes things a lot easier 😀
 
When I came to medical school, I decided that I was giving up 4-5 years of sex in my youth (true so far :meanie: ).
 
firebird69guy said:
People talk as though doctors are the only ones with careers that work hard, long hours (away from family and friends). Try truck drivers, salespeople

Stress? Try firefighters, law enforcement, prison guards..


Sure there are things we give up to go to medical school, but there are things we give up when we get married, get new jobs, etc.


I get the feeling that many students do not ever work during school, then they get into the real world (such as a regular job) and find out how stressful and hard life really can be.

Life is good guys. There are people that would give up a lot to be in our position. We need to appreciate everything that we have worked towards and our abilities to learn.



As my friend put it the other day (after a night of drinking) = We could be working graves at IHOP on a Memorial Day Weekend, squeegeeing YAK off the bathroom floor. :laugh: :laugh: Yes, it happened.. =)
Click to expand...

I worked my entire life before school, and I know what hard work is. My dad got me a job at 14 picking vegetables on a far with migrant workers to "build character" (and yes this was marginally illegal). I have scraped raw meet off the floor at the butcher shop I worked at, and I shoveled cow **** into trucks and the garden center I worked at.

I am referring to a different type of sacrifice. In all of those jobs, the work ended when I punched out. In medical school, their is always some drinking from the fire hose to be done. My fiance has a lucrative career in marketting research, and she works hard, but at the end of the nigth she comes home and relaxes while I do work.

I am in no way saying those other proffessions don't work hard, but medicine is different. The fact that people would give up a lot to be in our position is my point exactly. You really have to want this to make it worth while. And you shouldn't be willing to give up everything in your life for it. That is ridiculous when you consider how many other great careers out there you could have. (Think teaching, you get to help people, work with people, involve science if you want, and you get 3 months off a year!). I just think some people get WAY TO BLINDED by their own amibition to become a doctor that they lose site of what is truly important to them. And sometimes by the time they realize it, it is too late.
 
firebird69guy said:
People talk as though doctors are the only ones with careers that work hard, long hours (away from family and friends). Try truck drivers, salespeople

Stress? Try firefighters, law enforcement, prison guards..


Sure there are things we give up to go to medical school, but there are things we give up when we get married, get new jobs, etc.


I get the feeling that many students do not ever work during school, then they get into the real world (such as a regular job) and find out how stressful and hard life really can be.

Life is good guys. There are people that would give up a lot to be in our position. We need to appreciate everything that we have worked towards and our abilities to learn.



As my friend put it the other day (after a night of drinking) = We could be working graves at IHOP on a Memorial Day Weekend, squeegeeing YAK off the bathroom floor. :laugh: :laugh: Yes, it happened.. =)
Click to expand...

Bravo.. atleast someone on these forums has a perspective on stuff...

3 sciences classes in one semester and i volunteer!?!?! can I do it!??! oh no!

remember.. where ever you go, and whatever you do... someone has it tougher than you.. someone is faster, smarter, stronger etc etc than you... Just bare down, do your very best.. nothing more or less than you can do
 
I'd give up my left nut- although that wouldn't be bad since I'm a girl!

Haha! :laugh:
 
antihero- what med school do you go to?
 
antihero94 said:
I guess I never really thought about this question until now (I am a second year medical student). It is 10:30 on a Saturday on Memorial Day weekend, and I am just wrapping up a full day of studying while everyone else was out having fun. Over the past year I got in a huge fight with my best friend largely precipitated by the fact that I have not been around as much. I am missing my sister's high school graduation for an exam. The greater part of my June will be consumed with studying for USMLE (and I am not an idiot).

So here is my question to all you SDN's who seem as though you would be willing to sell your soul's to be doctors (or at least get into medical school. What would you be willing to give up to be a doctor?

Friday and Saturday nights to study?
You relationship with your significant other?
Your relationship with your best friend?
Your hobbies?
Your free time?
Your sanity? haha jk

Now, I am not implying you will necessarily have to give up any or all of these things. But, balancing time is hard. TRUST ME. I live with my fiance, and balance my responsibilities as a fiance, friend, brother, son, and medical student, as well as trying to maintain my hobbies of sports, snowboarding, gu itar, music etc.

I guess I just think that if you are not willing to at least entertain the idea that becoming a medical doctor may cost you some of these things you might want to consider an equally rewarding, but less demanding career.
Click to expand...

Well, I've already given up sex...
and money...
and free time...

So hmmm.... my dignity?
 
noelleruckman said:
I have thought about this because I have two young children. I will probably miss a great deal of the next 8 years of their lives. My daughter will be 11 and my son will be 9 when I'm done with residency. I have to consider how my absense will affect them. I hope I don't have to make a choice between my children's wellbeing and medicine, because its obvious to me what the choice will have to be - and thats not good because at that point in time, I will be mountain high in debt. I'm encouraged by the fact that there are others out there like me who are succeeding. I also know that my husband will do everything possible to make this work out, which means being there for our children.
Click to expand...
You said when you finish residency, so what are you planning on specializing in?
 
do-ca said:
I'd give up my left nut- although that wouldn't be bad since I'm a girl!

Haha! :laugh:
Click to expand...

You'd actually be giving up your left ovary...which would probably be a bit of a big deal. 😱
 
hmm... i suppose, after thinking about it a little more, I'd give up all of my electronics, which i plan on doing anyway (except my computer!) I'd give up the internet

But i will NOT give up writing (i will write for 5 minutes a day if i bloody well have to, but nothing in the whole wide world will stop me from being a novelist, even my dream of being a doctor.... of course nothing in the whole world will stop me from being a doctor, not even writing.....i sense the word "balance" in my future (or imbalance, whatever)

and i won't give up my boyfriend or my pet.

I've already given up sleep, tons of cash, a social life, and this last year completely wiped out any sense of dignity I had (thanks to my interviewers! hehe) sooooo.... yeah.

Oh, i'd HAPPILY give up all school debt. yes..... definitely something i'm willing to do...
 
I have been a little sad that most of my friends are getting married and having children. I will be the first to admit that I am not yet ready for these things, but I have found that most of my friends have new lives which have bonded them together as friends. They are more interested in taking their kids to the park, not in having dinner with someone who is single and career driven. I just learned that I had to make new friends.

Lucky for me, my school is only 3 hours from my hometown. I am a little worried about my elderly relatives at home. I am afraid that I won't get to see them often enough.

These are my only three real worries (making new friends/having a marriage and kids/elderly relatives).
 
Rafa said:
You'd actually be giving up your left ovary...which would probably be a bit of a big deal. 😱
Click to expand...

Thank God I've got two then.
 
Preparing to give up a job that would allow me to retire by the age of 50 if I wanted to...a decent house...very cush job...many weekends at the lake, and if we don't have kids soon....might just be giving up on having them too.
 
I would give up my social life (i studied so much in college), my friends (i stabbed them in the back), and a probable 500k career in i banking (seriously, anyone can do it). Just look at how much i want to help people.

Haha j/k
 
Yeah, I really feel blessed going to medical school the next four years. I mean, many of my friends are looking for jobs, don't know what they'll do after college, etc. Also, many who have jobs willl be working for 8 hours a day or more, and although medical school will be a lot of time and work (and money), I doubt it would be too much more. Also, it gives you peace of mind of what you'll be doing the next eight years.
 
antihero94 said:
I worked my entire life before school, and I know what hard work is. My dad got me a job at 14 picking vegetables on a far with migrant workers to "build character" (and yes this was marginally illegal). I have scraped raw meet off the floor at the butcher shop I worked at, and I shoveled cow **** into trucks and the garden center I worked at.

I am referring to a different type of sacrifice. In all of those jobs, the work ended when I punched out. In medical school, their is always some drinking from the fire hose to be done. My fiance has a lucrative career in marketting research, and she works hard, but at the end of the nigth she comes home and relaxes while I do work.

I am in no way saying those other proffessions don't work hard, but medicine is different. The fact that people would give up a lot to be in our position is my point exactly. You really have to want this to make it worth while. And you shouldn't be willing to give up everything in your life for it. That is ridiculous when you consider how many other great careers out there you could have. (Think teaching, you get to help people, work with people, involve science if you want, and you get 3 months off a year!). I just think some people get WAY TO BLINDED by their own amibition to become a doctor that they lose site of what is truly important to them. And sometimes by the time they realize it, it is too late.
Click to expand...

There are plenty of other professions where this is always work you could do. Actually, some people consider this to be a plus, because it usually, as with medical school, reflects an unusual amount of control over your work schedule. Medicine is no different. And when you finish residency, you can have more control over your schedule than many other professions if that's what you want.
 
antihero94 said:
I am in no way saying those other proffessions don't work hard, but medicine is different. The fact that people would give up a lot to be in our position is my point exactly. You really have to want this to make it worth while. And you shouldn't be willing to give up everything in your life for it. That is ridiculous when you consider how many other great careers out there you could have. (Think teaching, you get to help people, work with people, involve science if you want, and you get 3 months off a year!). I just think some people get WAY TO BLINDED by their own amibition to become a doctor that they lose site of what is truly important to them. And sometimes by the time they realize it, it is too late.
Click to expand...

I think the culture of medicine is changing. Talk to the old timers who did overnight call q3-4 and they think we're not learning as much with night float and the 80 hour work restriction. Of course what they may not realize is that hopsital stays are much shorter now and turnover much greater that we see quite a bit. They lament our lack of exposure to continuity of care because we hardly ever see a patient from beginning to end.

In some ways it's easy to let medicine envelop you, the seductions of ruminating on a DDx for SOB on internal medicine rounds... There is always one more article to read or find, one more topic to cover, and in the end you can't really learn it all. Was talking to someone older than me about someone who was just finishing a neurosurg residency 2 divorces later. Like everything we make priorities in life and realize the sacrifices that come along with them.

The good thing is that once you are post residency you can tailor your work to suit you more. One could choose academic practice which has more flexibility but frequently less money. You could do part time work. Some specialites are not as taxing as others in terms of raw time commitment. Unfortunatley for some specialties there has to be someone dedicated to doing more perhaps both timewise and effortwise. But I guess for many it isn't worth the personal sacrifice. I guess everyone has to choose their own path. The worst thing however would be a lack of dedication to the care of the patients we do have the fortunate chance to work with.

In the end though I believe you have to do what inspires you and makes you continue to beat your drum, because I think without that you will lose your fire and the passion for whatever you might be doing.

One of my colleagues reminded me what was told to us once long ago by our then associate dean and for me it still rings true today, somewhat sad the context however:

"There must be that one thing that Dr. V___ told us all to make sure we held
onto regardless of anything, that one thing that help you define who you
are, something special to you, something like....well, like corn or
the Navajo! LOL Seriously though - I just realized that I only know
you in the context of...school and all that nonsense. So I have no
idea really what the answer might be..."
 
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