What you should and shouldn't say in pre-interview dinner

[EPman]

Hi everyone!
Is it really important what you say to the residents during pre-interview dinner? Are there some sort of red flags on this subject? What are the general recommendations?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[BrockDoc]

Just socialize like a normal person. Ask questions about the program and area, but also just relax and be social. If you like sports, talk sports. If you are into music, talk about that. Strike up a conversation and go with it. Don't worry about saying the wrong thing. The dinners are your chance to see if you fit in with the residents and to see if these are people you will get along with.

My philosophy has been to limit the questions about call schedule, admissions, private attendings, and other such nitty-gritty details to the interview day itself. I never remember those silly details anyway, but I do remember which residents seemed the most fun and personable. I end up talking about football, sports, or other fun topics at the dinners the night before. I want to make sure that the residents I am going to be working with know how to have fun when they can.

Work hard...play hard

 

[jdh71]

All the dinners I have been to have been mostly social functions and the conversation moves in a fluid-like manner from topic to topic - you will talk about the program, and generally the residents WANT to talk about the program, but you'll also probably talk about sports or movies or traveling or music or whatever.

Don't be a tool. Never say, "Hey, nice t!ts!" This should be easy. And if topics like religion (or lack thereof) and politics come up . . . well, use your brain - don't offend people.

 

[Bobblehead]

Don't be a jerk. Don't be arrogant. Other than that "be yourself" and see how people react to you. For the most part the residents will be fairly relaxed although on good behavior as they know they are trying to sell their program to prospective applicants. With those caveats that everyone isn't quite themselves, if you seem to fit right in it can be a good sign.

Above all let me emphasize the arrogant part. The single applicant where I felt I had to make an unsolicited comment to the PD came off as a complete arrogant **** during the pre-interview dinner. My only thought was: "Do I really want this guy on my/a/any team near me next year?" This was actually followed up by a phone call from the PD weeks later to me when it came time to make the rank lists. Likely he didn't rank the program highly either but I can't imagine he made it very far up the rank list and he did not end up coming to the program.

 

[EDB]

I've actually started skipping the pre-interview dinner. No one seems to care if I went or not during the interview day, so my impression is that it's for the benefit of the interviewees. The way I see it, if they offer the dinner, it tells me what I want to know - basically the residents aren't scaring people off during the dinners and the program is gracious enough to offer a dinner. I can tell by talking to the residents during the interview day if I can get along with them or not, and I get all the details of the program during the interview day. The reason I don't want to go to the dinners anymore is that there is inevitably 1-3 other interviewees who are total *sshole's and will inevitably sit next to me and put me in a bad mood but I have to smile and make small talk anyway or else I seem like the *sshole. It's just not worth the "free" dinner, no matter how nice the restaurant and, like I said, I can find out what I need to know during the interview day w/o having to listen to the douche next to me talk about all his extensive ground breaking research and experience with famous doctor's blah blah blah.

 

[DJ LACTULOSE]

The reason I don't want to go to the dinners anymore is that there is inevitably 1-3 other interviewees who are total *sshole's and will inevitably sit next to me and put me in a bad mood but I have to smile and make small talk anyway or else I seem like the *sshole.

lol... i agree. but the number of dbag applicants is usually higher at the "top" programs.

 

[spumoni620]

really??? i've only met the nicest people at the pre-interview dinners/on the interview trail - down to earth, funny, the kind of people i'd seriously love to have as fellow residents. including, might i add, no shortage of rather attractive looking young gentlemen...😀

I've actually started skipping the pre-interview dinner. No one seems to care if I went or not during the interview day, so my impression is that it's for the benefit of the interviewees. The way I see it, if they offer the dinner, it tells me what I want to know - basically the residents aren't scaring people off during the dinners and the program is gracious enough to offer a dinner. I can tell by talking to the residents during the interview day if I can get along with them or not, and I get all the details of the program during the interview day. The reason I don't want to go to the dinners anymore is that there is inevitably 1-3 other interviewees who are total *sshole's and will inevitably sit next to me and put me in a bad mood but I have to smile and make small talk anyway or else I seem like the *sshole. It's just not worth the "free" dinner, no matter how nice the restaurant and, like I said, I can find out what I need to know during the interview day w/o having to listen to the douche next to me talk about all his extensive ground breaking research and experience with famous doctor's blah blah blah.

 

[Cuteasaurus]

I have to agree. Meeting future colleagues at the dinners has made me excited for next year. I can't wait to see who ends up in my class.

 

[DrWBD]

Politely decline any alcoholic beverage offered during the dinner.
Other than that, just don't be a jerk.

 

[jdh71]

I agree with those who give the dinners a 👍

I know others my be different, but I seem to get my best sense of the program by talking with the residents . . . I'm a pretty intuitive thinking kind of a guy, and while logic and reason are always consulted, I give most of the decision to my "gut"

I also enjoy the food and the company, and I have yet to run into any serious douchebags. Maybe I'm just not interviewing high enough up the National IM Residency Rankings in terms of prestige and fellowship placement?

I suppose though . . . if I thought I was competitive for a place like BWH, and I had applied, and I had gotten an interview, I'm almost positive the dinner would have had little bearing on my rank-list, ya know?

 

[Janus]

Politely decline any alcoholic beverage offered during the dinner.
Other than that, just don't be a jerk.

Feel free to have a beer, the dinner is supposed to be fun...

 

[gida]

Feel free to have a beer, the dinner is supposed to be fun...

I completely agree seeing as our pre interview dinner for IM at the place I matched was at a brew pub!! The bottom line is: be yourself