When To Leave My Job

[Vetkitkat]

Hello I’m a first time applicant this cycle and finishing up my undergraduate coursework this year. I currently work at a clinic where I’ve been an assistant for a little more than a year. Our employee turnover rate is extremely high as the doctors often discourage and demean myself and my coworkers. Even though I have only been here a year I am the longest standing employee. After talking about it with my boyfriend and family I’ve decided I want to quit this job. I’ve worked at other clinics and veterinary settings before and have never felt so mentally and emotionally numbed and tired. I cry after every shift and have started having nightmares about work or mental breakdowns while commuting to work. I love my job, I love treating animals and talking with clients and taking part in helping them. But at the same time I do not want to be walked over and have that passion be taken over by my degrading confidence in pursuing veterinary medicine.

However the thing is that the doctors are excellent doctors and are good people at heart. And one of the doctors wrote me a letter of recommendation when I said I was applying this cycle. But I fear that if I leave she might revoke the letter? When she wrote my letter I did not feel this way and did plan on staying until vet school. But after more people have quit and I’m left training people while still learning myself I feel like I’ve been a punching bag for condescending remarks and am no longer surprised to hear them talking about me behind my back or even as if I’m not in the same room. My parents tell me it’s not worth it and that I can just apply again next cycle if she does decide to revoke her letter. I was wondering if anyone else can offer input or advice. Thank you.

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[channie]

Coming from someone who is in the process of leaving a toxic clinic, 100% you should leave. There are so many amazing doctors and clinics out there, it is not worth sacrificing your mental health. Try and reach out to other clinics and apply for jobs before putting in a notice though. And when it comes time for that, let them know you were offered an opportunity that you couldn’t turn down. The clinic I work for now that is extremely toxic has had me considering leaving the profession. But where I worked before was one of the best places ever (had to leave due to a move). Now I’m looking for new jobs because it is not worth coming home from work every day feeling like you are worthless. Trust me, no recommendation is worth staying at a mentally draining job. Plus, I really don’t think they will revoke it if you leave on amicable terms.

 

[battie]

However the thing is that the doctors are excellent doctors and are good people at heart.

Our employee turnover rate is extremely high as the doctors often discourage and demean myself and my coworkers.

These two statements are mutually exclusive. Sure, human nature has way more nuance. But on a basic work relationship level, you're either a good person or you demean your coworkers.

But I fear that if I leave she might revoke the letter?

I'm not sure she can. Does she know where you're applying? I'm not sure if doctors can contact schools through VMCAS. That would be a VMCAS question.

I think you should leave. You are under no obligation to provide an explanation.

 

[genny]

And one of the doctors wrote me a letter of recommendation when I said I was applying this cycle. But I fear that if I leave she might revoke the letter?

For the letters I've written in the past, there was no way on the VMCAS portal to rescind a letter once submitted and verified. Your doctor would have to make a special effort to contact VMCAS to even find out if it's possible, and with all the other stuff that doctors have to do at a busy practice, I would bet that taking that extra step is just not worth the bother.

 

[meelc]

I was in a similar situation when I applied. I was the primary technician for a vet that treated me and other employees absolutely terribly, although it was a paying job and good veterinary experience in the discipline I was interested in. I thought it was just a matter of sticking it out, but it wasn't until one evening when I was having dinner with my family when they just asked me how I was doing (from a general standpoint) and I just started crying that I came to the realization I needed to leave the position. Immediately following that conversation I looked at my phone and had a notification the vet submitted her LOR.

When I had a chance to speak with her the following week about my decision to leave, I did offer to have the letter retracted, but ultimately nothing came of it. She did accuse me of waiting until the letter was submitted to quit, and also made comments about my capability and passion to pursue vet med as a career if I couldn't handle working for her. But ultimately it wasn't the position for me, and realistically I think I needed to leave that job and realize I deserved better in order to feel confident in what I deserved as a vet applicant/student/vet. At this point they would have to try to contact each of the schools you applied to individually, which they probably dont know where you applied, and that is a good amount of effort they would likely not care to expend. I know the situation with the LOR is stressful, the idea of finding another position is stressful, etc..but your mental health is priority #1.

 

[pp9]

However the thing is that the doctors are excellent doctors and are good people at heart.

'Good people' do not emotionally abuse others.

one of the doctors wrote me a letter of recommendation

Not sure I would trust this person to write me a good LOR, to be honest.

I worked at a very toxic vet clinic prior to starting vet school as well. Ironically, a pre-vet I met this past summer voiced concerns about her current position, and it ended up that she was working at the same clinic I had been. So over almost 10 years, the doctor and practice manager did not change. At all. People that behave this way are not good people, and the turn over is high for a reason. They will not change. You don't need to be the 'hero' and stick it out. It's not worth it, and nothing about this situation will have you looking back in 10 years thinking 'I'm really glad I stayed there longer.'

Time to move on.

 

[Vetkitkat]

Thank you everyone for your advice and thoughtful insight. I have written my resignation letter and will be submitting my two weeks. Thank you truly I’m very grateful to you all. Fortunately I have quite a bit saved up so I’ll take the rest of the year to focus on school, look for a new job and also spend time with my loved ones.

 

[Vetkitkat]

Coming from someone who is in the process of leaving a toxic clinic, 100% you should leave. There are so many amazing doctors and clinics out there, it is not worth sacrificing your mental health. Try and reach out to other clinics and apply for jobs before putting in a notice though. And when it comes time for that, let them know you were offered an opportunity that you couldn’t turn down. The clinic I work for now that is extremely toxic has had me considering leaving the profession. But where I worked before was one of the best places ever (had to leave due to a move). Now I’m looking for new jobs because it is not worth coming home from work every day feeling like you are worthless. Trust me, no recommendation is worth staying at a mentally draining job. Plus, I really don’t think they will revoke it if you leave on amicable terms.

I hope you are able to find a new job soon and one that provides a supportive environment like where you worked before 🙂

 

[pp9]

Thank you everyone for your advice and thoughtful insight. I have written my resignation letter and will be submitting my two weeks. Thank you truly I’m very grateful to you all. Fortunately I have quite a bit saved up so I’ll take the rest of the year to focus on school, look for a new job and also spend time with my loved ones.

Also remember that you are not required to finish the two weeks, two weeks is just a courtesy. If things get worse and they start taking it out on you, I would professionally tell them that you won't be returning for your next shift, or even that you won't be finishing the day if it ends up getting really bad.

I know it feels scummy, but you are not the 'bad person' in that equation, should you need to do that. Shortening your two week period would be a reflection on your employer in this context, not you.

 

[Vetkitkat]

Also remember that you are not required to finish the two weeks, two weeks is just a courtesy. If things get worse and they start taking it out on you, I would professionally tell them that you won't be returning for your next shift, or even that you won't be finishing the day if it ends up getting really bad.

I know it feels scummy, but you are not the 'bad person' in that equation, should you need to do that. Shortening your two week period would be a reflection on your employer in this context, not you.

Thank you so much. I will be sure to try and put myself first these next two weeks and put my people pleasing nature to the side. But I know this is probably not the last time a situation similar will happen in my career and I don’t want to set a precedent of throwing my mental and emotional wellbeing to the side for the sake of being liked. I know this is the right decision though because for the first time in a while I feel relief and am looking forward to what the next few months have in store for me rather than thinking of the future with dread.

Thank you for being so thoughtful and helpful in this decision and even one where I might shorten my notice. You’re very kind.

 

[Cowsrcool]

Also remember that you are not required to finish the two weeks, two weeks is just a courtesy. If things get worse and they start taking it out on you, I would professionally tell them that you won't be returning for your next shift,

had this exact situation happen to myself when leaving my toxic workplace. When I submitted my two weeks I became a pariah. The doctor who I had considered “on my side” and “nicer” than the rest even no longer asked me to help them in certain scenarios even though I was the most senior assistant working there at the time (2 years, which says enough about their turnover rate). It was like I became invisible and not worth anyone’s time. I ended up not even making it into the first week of my “two weeks” and told them I would not be returning the next day. Speaking up for myself was the best thing I could have done in the situation and now I work in a clinic that makes me feel valued as a person and an employee. Bare minimum.

 

[mn1309]

Sorry for the long post but this stuff gets me going lol.
Reading these posts and the responses are genuinely making me so sad. This is our problem with the profession. Doctors should be lifting up the future generation instead of tearing them down. Who's going to take over when they retire when they're running the future doctors and techs out of the profession?

After being rejected from vet school my first cycle, I had been working at the same GP for several years and while there were some toxic aspects to it and I found myself getting burnt out occasionally due to the workload, my doctors and co-workers were absolutely amazing. The doctors LOVE to teach and I owe much of my veterinary knowledge to them. Our practice manager would also go to battle for us at any time. I decided I wanted to venture out, make more money, and get experience in an ER. I told the two doctors I work with the most (both wrote me letters of rec several times) first. They fully supported my decision and agreed that I needed to do what was best for me and my future. My practice manager tried so hard to get me to stay, but ultimately I ended up leaving. I sobbed on my last day. That's how you know you were at a good clinic.

3 months later, I HATED the ER I worked at and was in the same position as you. I had panic attacks on my way to work, if I needed help or needed to be taught how to do something I'd never done, my co-workers would get mad at me like I was an inconvenience to them. The doctors treated me like I had never touched an animal in my life and one even yelled at me after he asked if I knew how to restrain a cat and I replied "yes, I can hold the cat for you". He called me a liar to my face and told me to go away. Didn't even give me a chance to restrain the cat for him. The manager yelled at me one day because I had to stay two hours late because the night shifters refused to take over my cases and she now had to "pay me overtime". During a 12 hour shift, at the 8th hour I finally had a chance to eat something and I got yelled at for being in the break room for 5 minutes while I'm on the verge of passing out from not eating. The turnover rate was insane and every single day 3-4 people would call out, leaving them incredibly understaffed. On my days off all I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry. I liked the ER work and helping critical patients, but omg this clinic was hell on earth.

I then found myself walking into my old clinic, sitting down in the chair in my PM's office and begging for my job back. She laughed and said, "you don't need to beg for your job back, you've always had a place here for you." I left the ER on good terms and their manager even told me if I ever want to come pick up a shift I can (not that I will as I still have nightmares about working there lol) I was welcomed back with open arms by everyone. Not a single doctor had "hard feelings" towards me for leaving, and my doctors continued to write me letters of recommendation (I'm now on my third cycle) and will always be on my side. While it's not the most perfect work environment, this truly has been my "unicorn" clinic.

So long story short, please leave that job. You will find your unicorn clinic that loves and supports you through all stages of your life. If you leave respectfully, there's no reason for that doctor to take back her reference. She clearly thought well enough of you to write you one in the first place. And if she does, that is extremely childish of her and reflects more on her than you.

 

[JaynaAli]

These people are the future of our profession and if we're not willing to teach them and encourage them, where is this profession going to be in 50 years?

While I absolutely do not condone treating someone poorly, the thing is…there is SO MUCH on a vet’s plate on a daily basis. The patients are going to be number 1, but there’s also owners demanding your attention and time, management/corporate considerations, your own family and life struggles…and as much as someone may want to mentor young pre-vet students, there’s only so many hours in a day. And unfortunately, educating and supporting future employees is often one of the first things that has to be dropped to keep all the other balls you’re juggling in the air on a daily basis. Again, that absolutely doesn’t excuse treating someone poorly or berating them or anything, but I bet most vets would be happy to mentor people if they simply had more time to do so. Having shadows takes time and energy and makes things take longer. But ownership often doesn’t care about that they just expect you to keep seeing patients and with production based pay, fewer cases means lower pay. That’s why teaching hospitals see a very small percentage of cases compared to private practice…because so much of their time gets spent on teaching students and residents. But to assume someone doesn’t care because they can’t or won’t mentor someone is a bit unfair…they may want to but they have other things that simply must come first. It’s just harder to realize that when you’re still on the pre-vet/student side of things. It’s great you’ve found a place that prioritizes education…those are rare. It’s a hard thing to balance work responsibilities and things like mentorship.

 

[mn1309]

While I absolutely do not condone treating someone poorly, the thing is…there is SO MUCH on a vet’s plate on a daily basis. The patients are going to be number 1, but there’s also owners demanding your attention and time, management/corporate considerations, your own family and life struggles…and as much as someone may want to mentor young pre-vet students, there’s only so many hours in a day. And unfortunately, educating and supporting future employees is often one of the first things that has to be dropped to keep all the other balls you’re juggling in the air on a daily basis. Again, that absolutely doesn’t excuse treating someone poorly or berating them or anything, but I bet most vets would be happy to mentor people if they simply had more time to do so. Having shadows takes time and energy and makes things take longer. But ownership often doesn’t care about that they just expect you to keep seeing patients and with production based pay, fewer cases means lower pay. That’s why teaching hospitals see a very small percentage of cases compared to private practice…because so much of their time gets spent on teaching students and residents. But to assume someone doesn’t care because they can’t or won’t mentor someone is a bit unfair…they may want to but they have other things that simply must come first. It’s just harder to realize that when you’re still on the pre-vet/student side of things. It’s great you’ve found a place that prioritizes education…those are rare. It’s a hard thing to balance work responsibilities and things like mentorship.

I completely understand this side too. The original poster was talking about how the doctors they work with are just plain rude and discourage/demean their employees. You can still encourage/be kind to people no matter how busy you are. If doctors can take extra time to mentor that’s great, but if not, that’s completely understandable and everyone should set boundaries, but even just a smile and some kindness can go a long way in making an impact on someone. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like every doctor needs to go out of their way/do extra things!

 

[pp9]

Having shadows takes time and energy and makes things take longer.

Yep. It can be a serious time suck. And then there's the liability aspect of all of it. I'm at the point where I'd rather not have an extern most days. We don't even allow pre-vet shadows anymore, too much risk for lack of benefit for the shadow.