Why oh why...

[Tristy]

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Am I the only one feeling like this?! I can't take this anymore! I'm so sick of everything, I hate this city, I dread having to get up tomorrow to go to class, I don't want to read about glycosphingolipids anymore, and the thought of going to PBL makes me want to throw up and then curl up in a ball and bury myself in a hole...
I feel like a ticking time bomb ready to blow up at any time..
Wasn't this was I wanted to do? Then why, oh whyyyyyyy do I feel like this??

Valium anyone?

 

[RaaMD]

Been there LOL. PBL such a bore sometimes, blah blah blah. Students going on tangents. It too took some adjustment for me, and I was just like you for awhile. Things are cool now. Hope things settle down for you too.

 

[Tristy]

It's not just the PBL (it sucks, but we only have it once a week), I'm pretty much fed up with everything and I hate feeling like this..I had a major nervous breakdown after i got done with anatomy...And I have a feeling that's not quite normal...What can I say....
Thanks for the kind words though 😳

 

[OncoCaP]

Your options are endless ... play doctor and "cure" yourself (a case study that might come in handy some day), play anything but a doctor, have others play doctor on you, see a practicing doctor who gets you medicated for your issues, alternative medicine (accupuncture, massage, herbs), exercise, breathing exercises, purchasing or making use of boxing gloves and a boxing bag, reading a book or unusual magazine, watching a mindless movie that makes you laugh, joining a religious organization, joining a service organization, volunteering at a shelter, going dancing, going on a diet, cooking something new and different, planning a fun vacation, tutoring kids, Joga, studying something you enjoy a lot related to your classes, learning a musical instrument, idle chatter on sites like this, online games, PS2 GuitarHero or DDR, browsing YouTube and watching other people going nuts on GuitarHero or DDR, writing poetry, joining group stress therapy, blogging or writing a book on feeling like you do your mapping your journey to stress relief, etc., etc., etc.,

Do any of the above sound like they might be a step in the right direction? It probably took at least a day, week, month or maybe even semester to dig the hole you are in. It might take more than 5 minutes to climb out .... 🙂

 

[Luba Licious]

Am I the only one feeling like this?! I can't take this anymore! I'm so sick of everything, I hate this city, I dread having to get up tomorrow to go to class, I don't want to read about glycosphingolipids anymore, and the thought of going to PBL makes me want to throw up and then curl up in a ball and bury myself in a hole...
I feel like a ticking time bomb ready to blow up at any time..
Wasn't this was I wanted to do? Then why, oh whyyyyyyy do I feel like this??

Valium anyone?

I hear you. The funny thing is, everyone told us we'd feel this way, and for some reason I didn't believe it applied to me. I thought I was smarter or somehow above it. I guess the joke's on me, huh? Hang in there, you're in too much debt to quit now.

 

[Tristy]

I hear you. The funny thing is, everyone told us we'd feel this way, and for some reason I didn't believe it applied to me. I thought I was smarter or somehow above it. I guess the joke's on me, huh? Hang in there, you're in too much debt to quit now.

I know...I heard this soooo many times as well, but like you said, one tends to think that one is 'invincible' (to put it some way). I really hope that the light at the end of the tunnel is still on by the time I get there 😉
I guess I just feel disillusioned with everything.

OncoCap: I'll take the punching bag, and of course, my beloved SDN 😀

 

[SelflessAct]

Am I the only one feeling like this?! I can't take this anymore! I'm so sick of everything, I hate this city, I dread having to get up tomorrow to go to class, I don't want to read about glycosphingolipids anymore, and the thought of going to PBL makes me want to throw up and then curl up in a ball and bury myself in a hole...
I feel like a ticking time bomb ready to blow up at any time..
Wasn't this was I wanted to do? Then why, oh whyyyyyyy do I feel like this??

Valium anyone?

You are SOOOOOOOOO not alone! I completely feel you. I never thought I'd get this disillusioned either, but here we are. The power of suggestion, I guess...

This is rough, yes, but if thousands, millions, of other people have been able to get through this in the past, then so can you. And me. 👍 And this is kind of weird but it might work for you like it has for me- hang out with some 3rd and 4th years, and you'll start to see that it will get more interesting and applicable soon enough (although those years come with their own set of problems, but let's not even go there...), when you're actually affecting patients in some (minor and insignificant) way.

This is just a means to an end. Keep repeating that to yourself. Or paint it on your wall or whatever it takes.

 

[OncoCaP]

OncoCap: I'll take the punching bag, and of course, my beloved SDN 😀

Ah yes, the punching bag and SDN; a well-worn combination 👍 . You are on your way now. With some suitably chosen and amplified background music (to fit the mood) and you'll be back to "normal" -- bitter enough to do what it takes to graduate!!!

 

[subi]

Ah yes, the punching bag and SDN; a well-worn combination 👍 . You are on your way now. With some suitably chosen and amplified background music (to fit the mood) and you'll be back to "normal" -- bitter enough to do what it takes to graduate!!!

👍 👍

 

[8744]

Am I the only one feeling like this?! I can't take this anymore! I'm so sick of everything, I hate this city, I dread having to get up tomorrow to go to class, I don't want to read about glycosphingolipids anymore, and the thought of going to PBL makes me want to throw up and then curl up in a ball and bury myself in a hole...
I feel like a ticking time bomb ready to blow up at any time..
Wasn't this was I wanted to do? Then why, oh whyyyyyyy do I feel like this??

Valium anyone?

Tough it out. It's only going to get worse.

 

[sirus_virus]

I have a cousin in jail and it is funny that med-students sound exactly like him

 

[Tristy]

Tough it out. It's only going to get worse.

No $hit! I didn't know! 😱 Thanks for enlightening me!

 

[Tristy]

You are SOOOOOOOOO not alone! I completely feel you. I never thought I'd get this disillusioned either, but here we are. The power of suggestion, I guess...

This is rough, yes, but if thousands, millions, of other people have been able to get through this in the past, then so can you. And me. 👍 And this is kind of weird but it might work for you like it has for me- hang out with some 3rd and 4th years, and you'll start to see that it will get more interesting and applicable soon enough (although those years come with their own set of problems, but let's not even go there...), when you're actually affecting patients in some (minor and insignificant) way.

This is just a means to an end. Keep repeating that to yourself. Or paint it on your wall or whatever it takes.

Thanks MedGirl, I'll try to make it a mantra 😀 . Coming to sdn and talking to people that are going through the same cr@p makes me feel a bit better. It's just that coupled with the transition to medschool I have other issues that make matters worse.

 

[Doctor Bagel]

Yep, I'm so bored with all my classes. It just seems like endless pointless memorization of stuff I'll forget in about two weeks. I'm just telling myself that first year is the hardest because of the boredom and adjustment factors.

 

[BeatrixKiddo]

Am I the only one feeling like this?! I can't take this anymore! I'm so sick of everything, I hate this city, I dread having to get up tomorrow to go to class, I don't want to read about glycosphingolipids anymore, and the thought of going to PBL makes me want to throw up and then curl up in a ball and bury myself in a hole...
I feel like a ticking time bomb ready to blow up at any time..
Wasn't this was I wanted to do? Then why, oh whyyyyyyy do I feel like this??

Valium anyone?

You sound clinically depressed. Get out of your enviroment and report to a qualified doctor immediately.

 

[indo]

You sound clinically depressed. Get out of your enviroment and report to a qualified doctor immediately.

Everyone "sounds" clinically depressed. My vote just goes to being miserable in the middle of a long block and sexually deprived.



Sphingolipids....not on the exam.

 

[DrKitty]

Everyone "sounds" clinically depressed. My vote just goes to being miserable in the middle of a long block and sexually deprived.



Sphingolipids....not on the exam.

Cerebroside, geranyl, farneasyl pyrophosphate, LDL-HDL-VLDL, hypertriglyceridemia, type III hypercholesterolemia - no, it's type IIa, stupid. I am gld to be done with basic sciences, but anatomy has its own element of hell 😀

 

[Tristy]

Everyone "sounds" clinically depressed. My vote just goes to being miserable in the middle of a long block and sexually deprived.



Sphingolipids....not on the exam.

I know, I can't wait for the December break (or Thanksgiving, whatever it is that gives me some real free days)..

Dr Kitty: Anatomy was hell indeed, and I'm sooooo happy it's over. 300 more classes to go 😴

 

[SelflessAct]

Everyone "sounds" clinically depressed. My vote just goes to being miserable in the middle of a long block and sexually deprived.

so true...

 

[medicomel]

i'm right there with you, OP. it's that time of the year where people are in a slump with one exam after another. unfortunately, we have our first anatomy exam of the semester the day before we let out for thanksgiving, but also a resp physio exam on monday. good times.

 

[Callogician]

Am I the only one feeling like this?! I can't take this anymore! I'm so sick of everything, I hate this city, I dread having to get up tomorrow to go to class, I don't want to read about glycosphingolipids anymore, and the thought of going to PBL makes me want to throw up and then curl up in a ball and bury myself in a hole...
I feel like a ticking time bomb ready to blow up at any time..
Wasn't this was I wanted to do? Then why, oh whyyyyyyy do I feel like this??

Valium anyone?

 

[SelflessAct]

holy lord.....i am speechless... 😱

 

[stoic]

You sound clinically depressed. Get out of your enviroment and report to a qualified doctor immediately.

fucking tremendous. that's a really detailed history you've done to arrive at the diagnosis. there's a reason playing internet doctor is discouraged.


to the op, hang in there. i'm a second year and believe me everyone hits what your feeling during the first year. usually right about the time when the initial excitement and novalty wears off and the days start to get shorter and the test start to get longer. also, the realization that 90% of what you're forced to memorize won't be clinically useful really got to me. actually it still gets to me. i'm not sure the dean's would admit it, but i'm convinced a big part of the basic science education is getting you used to striving head with no obvious endpoint to keep you going. also to get you used to absurd amounts of stress and to being kicked around by your superiors. You know, like when a professor is wrong on test questions and you've got articles from the CDC, JAMA, and emedicine proving it, but they still won't give back the question. That sort of stuff.

panda is right, it just gets worse. but luckily our wonderful system prepares us for it.

the most important things you can learn right now are to start figuring out your support system and what you can do to get your mind off of the cluster-**** that is modern medicine.

i realize this is sort of a downer post. i honestly don't hate med school and medicine. but for me, a big part of getting through it has been seeing it for what it really is. there's a lot of BS and if you can't shrug it off, you'll end up drinking too much, driving a car you can't afford, and divorced 3 times.

 

[Callogician]

holy lord.....i am speechless... 😱

Wanna catch a movie some time?

 

[8744]

No $hit! I didn't know! 😱 Thanks for enlightening me!

Well, I'm just saying that now is the time to bail if you think you made a mistake. I also think that most people would probably be happier doing something else as a career.

 

[crazy_cavalier]

I don't know what people are complaining about. 1st year is freaking sweet. I'm in complete control over how I spend my time. If I wake up, I have the choice to go back to sleep, skipping class and reviewing the notes later. The material isn't necessarily difficult, it's just a ****-load of stuff to plow through; still, it's doable. The only time I'm stressed out is the week prior to exams, and the rest of the time is pretty nice. MS1 is alright in my book.

 

[8744]

I don't know what people are complaining about. 1st year is freaking sweet. I'm in complete control over how I spend my time. If I wake up, I have the choice to go back to sleep, skipping class and reviewing the notes later. The material isn't necessarily difficult, it's just a ****-load of stuff to plow through; still, it's doable. The only time I'm stressed out is the week prior to exams, and the rest of the time is pretty nice. MS1 is alright in my book.

I loved first and second year. It was like one big vacation from responsibility. I had to do was pass a test every now and then and the lifestyle was guaranteed.

Now third year, that blew.

 

[Polska]

.

 

[oompa loompa]

Am I the only one feeling like this?! I can't take this anymore! I'm so sick of everything, I hate this city, I dread having to get up tomorrow to go to class, I don't want to read about glycosphingolipids anymore, and the thought of going to PBL makes me want to throw up and then curl up in a ball and bury myself in a hole...
I feel like a ticking time bomb ready to blow up at any time..
Wasn't this was I wanted to do? Then why, oh whyyyyyyy do I feel like this??

Valium anyone?

oh, just you wait till you get to amino acid metabolism and head & neck. purine/pyrimidine synthesis, anyone? Pterygopalatine fossa and all those awesome larynx muscles!! You'll be walking into walls from sleep deprivation and having caffeine-induced spasms. But yeah, 1st year is supposed to be a breeze compared to what's ahead. SWEET!

 

[yellowcat322]

Why is it that every time someone posts up a thread about feeling down about med school they are invariably flooded with responses to the tune of "quit now" "stop whining" "it only gets worse" and "you think YOUR life is bad??" Seriously, what's the point of these responses? And please don't give the generic answer of "well someone has to tell them the harsh truth". Come on! There is no such thing as an absolute truth here. It's all about the attitude you take. And seriously, do you expect this person to just up and quit medicine because you enlightened him/her about how much it's going to continue to suck for them?? These are your future colleagues. Shouldn't we support each other since we're all going through the same exact sh**. Is it still the unbridled competitiveness of our pre-med days that just refuses to die? Would you feel better about yourself is someone struggling to deal with med school just breaks down and quits, while you muddle your way through to the end? I just don't get it people. Luckily it still seems to be a minority on SDN, since most responses are still positive and supportive, but still I felt inspired to rant.

To the OP,

This time last year, when I was MS I, was around the time I started researching my options for becoming a wedding planner or a lumberjack or anything else outside of medicine. They're not kidding when they say that most students hit a panic point, where they're sure they've made a horrible mistake. Just keep in mind several things. A) this feeling will very probably pass on its own - you just gotta hang in there until it does. B) this is your training, not your profession. In fact the first 2 years of school have very little to do with what you'll actually be doing for the rest of your life. So you just gotta figure out the best, least stressful way of getting through this training so you can do what you've been aspiring to do. For me that meant focusing more on things outside of school - i.e. figuring out a way to make sure that med school is not your whole life. (also not going to class helped a lot🙂 but whatever it is that works for you just make sure you find a good outlet - don't just let this frustration keep building up. And please, hang in there - it'll definitely be worth it.

 

[getunconcsious]

oh, just you wait till you get to amino acid metabolism and head & neck. purine/pyrimidine synthesis, anyone? Pterygopalatine fossa and all those awesome larynx muscles!! You'll be walking into walls from sleep deprivation and having caffeine-induced spasms. But yeah, 1st year is supposed to be a breeze compared to what's ahead. SWEET!

I agree that the pterygopalatine fossa and the nucleotide metabolism pathways are difficult and stupid.

But, I would say don't believe the people that say 2nd year is worse! 2nd year may be hard, but it is much more interesting and relevant. Classes like pathology (where you learn the pathophysiology of most every disease) and pharmacology (where you learn how to treat said diseases) are intrinsically much more interesting than BS like Gross or biochem. Don't give up just yet! It gets better, even if it doesn't get easier.

 

[DoctorFunk]

But, I would say don't believe the people that say 2nd year is worse! 2nd year may be hard, but it is much more interesting and relevant. Classes like pathology (where you learn the pathophysiology of most every disease) and pharmacology (where you learn how to treat said diseases) are intrinsically much more interesting than BS like Gross or biochem. Don't give up just yet! It gets better, even if it doesn't get easier.

Not sure I agree. Second year at my school so far (path, micro) has been nothing but a laundry list of bugs, diseases, and their symptomatology. For the most part there is little pathophysiologic connection between the two, thus you are left mindlessly memorizing with a minimum of theoretical understanding. That really sucks, and makes me yearn for the days of M1 year when lectures unfolded like a storybook of the workings of the body.

 

[Tristy]

To the OP,

This time last year, when I was MS I, was around the time I started researching my options for becoming a wedding planner or a lumberjack or anything else outside of medicine. They're not kidding when they say that most students hit a panic point, where they're sure they've made a horrible mistake. Just keep in mind several things. A) this feeling will very probably pass on its own - you just gotta hang in there until it does. B) this is your training, not your profession. In fact the first 2 years of school have very little to do with what you'll actually be doing for the rest of your life. So you just gotta figure out the best, least stressful way of getting through this training so you can do what you've been aspiring to do. For me that meant focusing more on things outside of school - i.e. figuring out a way to make sure that med school is not your whole life. (also not going to class helped a lot🙂 but whatever it is that works for you just make sure you find a good outlet - don't just let this frustration keep building up. And please, hang in there - it'll definitely be worth it.

You know what? I think you are totally right mentioning the panic point. I feel I'm in depths of it, considering bailing out (although it's just a fantasy, it took me waaaaaaaaay too long to get here and I'm not going to quit now) and thinking which other career could make me realistically happy; in the end I come to the same conclusion: "the grass always is and alway will be greener on the other side". I guess I do have to "hang in there" as you and mostly everybody says and wait for this to pass, it just freaking sucks 😡 and my medication is not working 😛
I don't go to class very often (have the mp3 recordings) but to my suprise it doesn't make me any happier. I think part of my problem is the ridiculously high expectations that I place on myself. I'm really stressed out (already) about Step I, and how you need to get >250 to get to one of "those" residencies (not that I'm totally set on any but I want to be able to decide and not be denied on any because of a score), how you need to get published (same reason as above), how I feel I have to study more than the rest and I still feel behind and with no time left for other things, and how I beat myself up for not studying all the time (yeah, pretty masochistic and illogical at times). So basically I also have to change my entire view of things. Well that may take a while.

Panda: didn't mean to be rude to you, I see what you're saying.

Thanks to everybody for the responses 🙂

 

[jennie 21]

If you went to medical school because you dream of being a doctor and working with patients, hang in there, it does get better. I really hated being an MS1, hated anatomy, despised biochemistry, liked physiology a bit better. Kind of liked being an MS2, there is a lot of material and studying for Step 1 sucked, but on the other hand what you're learning is much more interesting and relevant to what you will be doing one day. Also it's somewhat less memorization and more reasoning, good if you're like me and enjoy reasoning things out. I really enjoyed being an MS3, finally being in the hospital, doing something moderately useful and helping to take care of patients...although how much of a role you actually play depends on the hospital (public much better than private in my opinion). If you like patients, you will like being an MS3. I found I really was doing what I had always wanted to do and was pleased to find that medicine really was a good fit for me. And you don't have to do as well on Step 1 as you think...stop putting so much pressure on yourself (much easier said than done, I do remember). Yeah, it matters if you want to do derm or optho or rads, but most people find those fields aren't really that great anyways. If you want to do medicine or surgery or another bread and butter field you will do very well with good grades and a Step 1 >230. I'm an MS4 applying for internal medicine right now, step 1 235, honored all but one of my third-year rotations, no publications, and have been very pleased with the type of programs offering me interviews based on these qualifications. Like everyone else, you will be fine, and keep in mind that the first 2 years are just a means to an end and have little to do with what you will be doing for the rest of your career or why you went to med school in the first place. Chin up! Good luck. It does get better.

 

[SelflessAct]

Wanna catch a movie some time?

haha...well, i do find over-the-top, offensive humor attractive and kind of a turn-on....

 

[SelflessAct]

You know what? I think you are totally right mentioning the panic point. I feel I'm in depths of it, considering bailing out (although it's just a fantasy, it took me waaaaaaaaay too long to get here and I'm not going to quit now) and thinking which other career could make me realistically happy; in the end I come to the same conclusion: "the grass always is and alway will be greener on the other side". I guess I do have to "hang in there" as you and mostly everybody says and wait for this to pass, it just freaking sucks 😡 and my medication is not working 😛
I don't go to class very often (have the mp3 recordings) but to my suprise it doesn't make me any happier. I think part of my problem is the ridiculously high expectations that I place on myself. I'm really stressed out (already) about Step I, and how you need to get >250 to get to one of "those" residencies (not that I'm totally set on any but I want to be able to decide and not be denied on any because of a score), how you need to get published (same reason as above), how I feel I have to study more than the rest and I still feel behind and with no time left for other things, and how I beat myself up for not studying all the time (yeah, pretty masochistic and illogical at times). So basically I also have to change my entire view of things. Well that may take a while.

you know, i had a pep talk with someone very wise this weekend who told me that half the battle in med school is learning not to make it harder than it is. i.e., don't put so much pressure on yourself, there's enough there already built into the system (for example,amount of material you are learning). overcome this, and it will seriously be a load off. do what you can do, and be content knowing you are doing your best. re-evaluate your expectations and eliminate the ones that are just plain unrealistic (learn to love P=MD 😉 ). in some cases it might actually enhance your experience, and you might actually do better...i don't know yet, i'm still working this one out.

but, it's hard putting things into perspective, i know. like with most things during this part of our lives...easier said than done...🙄 🙂