MD & DO x

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
Message them: No offense dude, but you're annoying me with your constant messaging, turn it down a notch lol. .....The no offense and the lol makes it not dick like.
 
Sorry to hear- this reminds me of a guy in my class that's weird AF. No idea how he got in and very scary that he might graduate one day.
 
You could just say that you're busy with school and that you're trying to limit your distractions so that you can focus (i.e. by trying to limit the amount that you're spending on your phone or something). Let him know that he can email you if he has any school related questions that can't be helped elsewhere (as not to completely shut him out).

Maybe finish with a lighthearted joke about how our generation spends too much times attached to their phones.... or ghost him/block forever/avoid in halls/transfer schools so you never have to see him again?
 
He’s not your friend. You owe him nothing except politeness. Just say “hey, I appreciate the attention but all the messaging is distracting me from my work. I’m trying to focus, and I would greatly appreciate it if contact between us was more limited from now on.” Be ready for him to be upset but he will get over it. Or he will kill you and wear your skin. Toss up. 😉


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
 
OrthoTraumaMD said:
He’s not your friend. You owe him nothing except politeness. Just say “hey, I appreciate the attention but all the messaging is distracting me from my work. I’m trying to focus, and I would greatly appreciate it if contact between us was more limited from now on.” Be ready for him to be upset but he will get over it. Or he will kill you and wear your skin. Toss up. 😉


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
Click to expand...
Probably the worst advice @OrthoTraumaMD has ever given on sdn. I guess thats a compliment...

OP just answer later than you usually would and if he asks tell him youre trying to limit your electronic use. Also tell him youre not the group study type
 
Simple way is to go to the facebook chat specifically for him, click on the gear setting and click "ignore messages" or "mute messages". Then just don't answer the messages. If he finds you in person and actually asks about it, you can say that facebook is distracting so you turned off some of the features so that you can study better.
 
It's like playing an online MOBA. Mute and split push. That is to say turn off your facebook and limit your contact with him. Push your objectives (ie study, go to gym) and move forward.

Although in the past, I was a lot like this person you are talking about and I remember having people do something along the lines of whatever I'm advising you to do with me being on the receiving end. Chances are he's lonely and wishes to seek friendships/romance. However, you cannot solve that problem for him.

Part of medicine is knowing when to cut off harmful relationships and to understand that you cannot please everyone. You should focus on pleasing yourself first.
 
neoexile said:
It's like playing an online MOBA. Mute and split push.
Click to expand...

I usually do this even if I am on a teamfight lineup, because the rest of the people just hold me back. "Come fight with us, Shadow Fiend." Hell no. You suck. I can win by taking towers while you buy me time by fighting in impossible scenarios. By the time you have all died miserably, I have begun tearing down tier 3, forcing at least 1 or 2 TPs from the enemy. Now I just pop shadow blade and go back to the jungle. Rinse and repeat. They will never learn that studying together is a waste of time and gives the split pusher (the solo gunner) all the advantage to tear **** up.
 
Mosaicity said:
This might seem like a juvenile question but I am genuinely uncertain how to proceed.

There is someone in my class who doesn't have a great social sense in my opinion (which is obviously subjective), often posts on the FB group, makes jokes that nobody understands, etc. He has started inboxing me and texting me quite frequently and asked me to study together.

I can make up excuses, like I study alone (which I do), but it sort of bothers me how often he contacts me and I want it to stop. I don't know how to do this gently while also honestly. I am always nice to him in person, I think more so than others, so he may have read into it. I feel bad that he hasn't made a lot of friends in our class, but I don't really have the time or energy to talk daily/ hang out out of pity. I have tried politely ending conversations or not responding but he's clearly not getting the hints, and I would rather be clear than just not respond (my pet peeve is when people ghost, either romantically or on friends).

Any tips? :/
Click to expand...
Ghosttttt
 
I sorta hate ghosting, hurts way more than a gentle let down

I think many of the excuses in the thread do a good job of setting a boundary in a kind way, it lets the other person know what to expect which I think is a kindness itself
 
Mosaicity said:
Yeah, I think this kid is going to be a fine doctor, and is only slightly more socially inept than the rest of us. He seems like a good person. Part of my reason for posting this is because I do feel for students who feel lonely on top of all the other stress we deal with. However, it is a life skill to both cope with that feeling and learn effective communication/ people skills. And of course, know your own personal boundaries, which I am working on.
Click to expand...

Understand this. He will eventually have to be depended on if he is a doctor. You shouldn't reward harmful behaviors such as invasion of boundaries. That is not to say be an dingus, but you should know your space and keep it that way.

sab3156 said:
I usually do this even if I am on a teamfight lineup, because the rest of the people just hold me back. "Come fight with us, Shadow Fiend." Hell no. You suck. I can win by taking towers while you buy me time by fighting in impossible scenarios. By the time you have all died miserably, I have begun tearing down tier 3, forcing at least 1 or 2 TPs from the enemy. Now I just pop shadow blade and go back to the jungle. Rinse and repeat. They will never learn that studying together is a waste of time and gives the split pusher (the solo gunner) all the advantage to tear **** up.
Click to expand...

Are you a Kayn main? I'm a Yi main myself
 
Hold up. I'm not sure if I missed something here or not but OP are you a female/someone that said dude is possibly romantically interested in?

Huge potential difference here.
 
Mosaicity said:
This might seem like a juvenile question but I am genuinely uncertain how to proceed.

There is someone in my class who doesn't have a great social sense in my opinion (which is obviously subjective), often posts on the FB group, makes jokes that nobody understands, etc. He has started inboxing me and texting me quite frequently and asked me to study together.

I can make up excuses, like I study alone (which I do), but it sort of bothers me how often he contacts me and I want it to stop. I don't know how to do this gently while also honestly. I am always nice to him in person, I think more so than others, so he may have read into it. I feel bad that he hasn't made a lot of friends in our class, but I don't really have the time or energy to talk daily/ hang out out of pity. I have tried politely ending conversations or not responding but he's clearly not getting the hints, and I would rather be clear than just not respond (my pet peeve is when people ghost, either romantically or on friends).

Any tips? :/
Click to expand...

Ghost 'em! It's been done to me...lmao!
 
Mosaicity said:
This might seem like a juvenile question but I am genuinely uncertain how to proceed.

There is someone in my class who doesn't have a great social sense in my opinion (which is obviously subjective), often posts on the FB group, makes jokes that nobody understands, etc. He has started inboxing me and texting me quite frequently and asked me to study together.

I can make up excuses, like I study alone (which I do), but it sort of bothers me how often he contacts me and I want it to stop. I don't know how to do this gently while also honestly. I am always nice to him in person, I think more so than others, so he may have read into it. I feel bad that he hasn't made a lot of friends in our class, but I don't really have the time or energy to talk daily/ hang out out of pity. I have tried politely ending conversations or not responding but he's clearly not getting the hints, and I would rather be clear than just not respond (my pet peeve is when people ghost, either romantically or on friends).

Any tips? :/
Click to expand...

Either one of two possibilities. He could be totally oblivious of how annoying he is being possibly due to lack of friends/social (which is unfortunate). More likely though, medical school’s got to him and he’s resorting to unhealthy coping strategies like dependence, etc. Regardless, the way you manage this is the same either way. You either send him a message or meet with him in person. It doesn’t matter which and you should choose whichever method you feel you’ll be able to get your point across better. Just say/type; “Hey man, to be honest you’re asking me a lot of questions lately and it’s <how you feel>. I know this is a bit rude to say and I hope you don’t resent me too much for it, but I’d prefer if you tone <xyz> down.Really overwhelmed with things myself.”...customize as needed.
 
Last edited:
Newyawk said:
Probably the worst advice @OrthoTraumaMD has ever given on sdn. I guess thats a compliment...

OP just answer later than you usually would and if he asks tell him youre trying to limit your electronic use. Also tell him youre not the group study type
Click to expand...

I think it’s on point! Sometimes people need a wake up call and chances are if OP finds them annoying, others do as well so I think the kindest thing to do is to let them know. Other people are probably straight up ignoring him and he’s already seeing OP as a nice person, he’ll probably get mad and be hurt for some time but as he introspects later, he’ll realize at least OP had enough respect for him to tell him the truth rather than ignore him. When he realizes that he’ll respect OP and stop bothering him or her.
 
Newyawk said:
Probably the worst advice @OrthoTraumaMD has ever given on sdn. I guess thats a compliment...

OP just answer later than you usually would and if he asks tell him youre trying to limit your electronic use. Also tell him youre not the group study type
Click to expand...

Lol. That’s not being honest. I wouldn’t call my advice that bad, since OP was trying not to “ghost,” and delaying an answer is just shy of ghosting. This may also backfire in case OP decides to study with other people and that kid sees him doing it. It will make him feel even worse that he was lied to/pandered to. I’d rather just be direct, but that’s my style.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
 
DoctorG2020 said:
...or ghost him/block forever/avoid in halls/transfer schools so you never have to see him again?
Click to expand...

e31.jpg
 
Mosaicity said:
This might seem like a juvenile question but I am genuinely uncertain how to proceed.

There is someone in my class who doesn't have a great social sense in my opinion (which is obviously subjective), often posts on the FB group, makes jokes that nobody understands, etc. He has started inboxing me and texting me quite frequently and asked me to study together.

I can make up excuses, like I study alone (which I do), but it sort of bothers me how often he contacts me and I want it to stop. I don't know how to do this gently while also honestly. I am always nice to him in person, I think more so than others, so he may have read into it. I feel bad that he hasn't made a lot of friends in our class, but I don't really have the time or energy to talk daily/ hang out out of pity. I have tried politely ending conversations or not responding but he's clearly not getting the hints, and I would rather be clear than just not respond (my pet peeve is when people ghost, either romantically or on friends).

Any tips? :/
Click to expand...
Mosaicity said:
This might seem like a juvenile question but I am genuinely uncertain how to proceed.

There is someone in my class who doesn't have a great social sense in my opinion (which is obviously subjective), often posts on the FB group, makes jokes that nobody understands, etc. He has started inboxing me and texting me quite frequently and asked me to study together.

I can make up excuses, like I study alone (which I do), but it sort of bothers me how often he contacts me and I want it to stop. I don't know how to do this gently while also honestly. I am always nice to him in person, I think more so than others, so he may have read into it. I feel bad that he hasn't made a lot of friends in our class, but I don't really have the time or energy to talk daily/ hang out out of pity. I have tried politely ending conversations or not responding but he's clearly not getting the hints, and I would rather be clear than just not respond (my pet peeve is when people ghost, either romantically or on friends).

Any tips? :/
Click to expand...

I blame Facebook and technology.
I've been ghosted too because of a happy trigger finger on the phone.
Usually it is because I was not a good communicator and kept many things in my head. I am trying to improve.
Social Sense is a subjective thing you are right.

I hate that I got ghosted but now I just say tsss tsss tsss
Then in a lower voice: f it........

I have ghosted and been ghosted.
But after I got ghosted and knew how bad it felt I went on a quest to accept individuals even though they may be viewed as "different" by others because I knew what it was like to be different from the group.
 
Mosaicity said:
This might seem like a juvenile question but I am genuinely uncertain how to proceed.

There is someone in my class who doesn't have a great social sense in my opinion (which is obviously subjective), often posts on the FB group, makes jokes that nobody understands, etc. He has started inboxing me and texting me quite frequently and asked me to study together.

I can make up excuses, like I study alone (which I do), but it sort of bothers me how often he contacts me and I want it to stop. I don't know how to do this gently while also honestly. I am always nice to him in person, I think more so than others, so he may have read into it. I feel bad that he hasn't made a lot of friends in our class, but I don't really have the time or energy to talk daily/ hang out out of pity. I have tried politely ending conversations or not responding but he's clearly not getting the hints, and I would rather be clear than just not respond (my pet peeve is when people ghost, either romantically or on friends).

Any tips? :/
Click to expand...
That's not a friend, that's an acquaintance who wants to be friends, but you don't. No breakup necessary.
 
maybe you should try and be his friend. Med school sucks and would suck even worst if I didnt have a group of people I could depend on. Maybe give him a chance and let him be aware of how he comes off and see if that helps. even if u dont become friends with him maybe you could help him work on things to be able to forge his own friend groups.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top