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Med School Insiders
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Schools are familiar with toxic parenting.
If they are contacted by your father, they may reach out to you.
Be prepared with a succinct explanation. You need not go into detail.
We've seen this kind of thing before. You are not responsible for your parent's behavior.
 
iloveviruses said:
Right.. I was hesitant to do that because I don't have the financial means for a lawyer right now
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Check with your county to see if there is free legal aid available.

Also, block your dad on anything electronic and do NOT have any further contact with him. Get a new phone number if you have to.
 
iloveviruses said:
Hi everyone, I'm applying the 2020-2021 cycle right now. I have a very abusive and toxic dad (domestic violence, severe emotional abuse, etc) and I recently was finally able to escape my parents' home and became completely cut off from them. When I escaped, I took the car they bought me as a gift a few years back (car registration says: my name OR my mom’s name) but everything else since I escaped has been from my own money that I earned from working (groceries, rent, med school apps, bills, etc). Another detail of this story: there is also a bank account under my name where he is temporarily storing some of his money (to get some bonus).

Now he's demanding the car back with the threat of emailing medical schools that I "stole" the car, in an attempt to get me blacklisted everywhere. FYI knowing him, I have no doubt he’s actually doing it. Also he doesn’t know my exact school list but he knows I have very high stats and will therefore email all highly ranked schools, most of which I am applying to.

I said no to giving it back because they gifted it to me and I need it to live lol, and that if he tries to report it stolen to the police then I would keep the money he's storing in an account under my name. I also said that if he doesn't report it stolen to the police, then I would *not* take any of the money, besides deducting the money he still owes me from a few months ago. I also said that he can't make med schools falsely believe I stole the car because the registration is in my name.

He apparently screenshotted this completely out of context, aka just the part where I said I would keep the money stored in the account if he reported it stolen + can't say I stole the car bc registration is in my name. And he will be emailing med schools to tell them I'm some horrible person who steals from her parents lol. For some schools I am using my experience in this household as the adversity essay but idk if that helps at all with this situation.

What to do in this case? Do you think med schools will actually take it seriously?

Like I don't know if med schools would actually take his email seriously, so if I mention it in the "anything else?" secondary that he's trying to sabotage me, it would bring unnecessary attention to it when it wouldn't even be a big deal otherwise? Idk.

And I have screenshots from my POV too so I could prove that it was out of context, but idk I'm still paranoid they will not even give me a chance to explain myself...

Tagging adcoms to see what their perspective on this is — like if you received an email like this about an applicant, what would you think/do? @Goro @Faha @gyngyn

thanks so much!
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No one cares about what your crazy dad says, just stop responding to him
 
The car issue should be cut and dry based on who has the title. But the money thing sounds extremely suspicious. You should make sure you fully understand why his money is in your bank account. Why does he need to hide money in your account so that he earns a bonus? For having less money in his account? It sounds like a setup for tax evasion at the best and money laundering at the worst. If he's given you more than $15k to "hold onto" in a given year then you may also be on the hook for taxes on it as a gift.

I'd say med school admission is less of an issue here; many people have poorly behaved parents and nobody cares. If I were in your shoes I would be much more concerned about getting a handle on the money situation from a legal perspective. It sounds like you are being taken advantage of.
 
iloveviruses said:
I think I do, thank god.. my mom is on it too tho. Shes on my side but she’s easily manipulated by him lol. I’ve also been trying to figure things out with the DMV to kick her name off, in case she ends up being unreliable
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If the car is owned free and clear and the title is in both of your names, you can have your mom sign it over to you alone. Technically you both will need to sign the car over to you. It’s going to cost you some time and title fees but it may be worth it. However, since it is also in your name, it is unlikely anything can happen to the car except being repossessed.
 
iloveviruses said:
Like.... a lot. :/ will def deal with this ASAP. thanks for your insight!!
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Then think carefully. Lot of money means there is potential for tax fraud by dad and as an adult you could be liable too. So you have to be careful how you deal with this. Don't do any transactions and put the account on hold.
 
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