Hi Pendulum,
Don't worry about it -- this is a more common thing with medical school letters of rec than you'd think. I had to "edit" one of my own letters of rec last year for my recommender (because he did not want to deal with it). He stated that in a lot of cases (he is a prof at a prestigious academic medical center and medical school), recommenders ask applicants to write their own letters of rec - usually because they are just too busy to write them. According to him, it's a common (and accepted) practice.
If you write the letter for your recommender, you can still waive your rights to see it. All that waiving your rights does is prevent you from going to the respective medical schools at which you've applied and asking to see your letters of rec. So, even if you write it, you can still waive your right to "see" it later at the medical schools. Don't worry about that part.
As for the actual writing of the letter, it looks like Wasabi gave you some good sites. In my experience, my best letters had this style:
1) an assessment of my candidacy ("I highly recommend" .. "unreservedly recommend"... "one of the best students I have encountered in my __x__ number of years working with students".. etc.)
2) explanation of how my recommender knows me (applicant), what I did for this person, my responsibilities and duties, etc. (if it was not a class-based recommendation) OR if it was an assessment from a class, the letter would mention my strengths, how I did in the class (in comparison to others), how I worked with others, how I helped others, etc.
3) a discussion of my personal (non-academic) qualities that stand out/make me unique (things like compassion, volunteer work, extracurriculars can go here)
4) an assessment of my motivation and understanding of the medical profession (and demonstration of this through work experience and/or volunteer work)
5) conclusion para
This is just one format. I'm sure there are many others. Also, if you are interested, my undergrad college has a "worksheet" to give to people writing letters of rec for you. The website is:
http://abacus.bates.edu/admin/offices/career/glance/reference/recletter.html
To save time, the format they give is:
First paragraph: State that the letter of recommendation is for me, and that I am applying for the following type of work/graduate program.
Second paragraph: State the nature of our relationship, the length of time you have known me, and the types of assignments, projects, work, or other experience we shared.
Third paragraph: Please give some detail about my skills, talents, abilities, personal qualities, or applicable accomplishments.
Final paragraph: Please state how you can be reached for more information if you are willing to be contacted.
I think this is a bit simplistic -- five paragraphs seems better.. my pre-med committee gave us a sheet to include with our requests for letters of rec that noted: 1) the letter should be at least a page or longer (not exceeding two pages) - anything shorter may make Adcoms think the recommender doesn't have much to say about you and 2) use as many superlatives as possible (without overkill).
I hope this is helpful. Good luck!
-- Becky
