Advice Appreciated - Nowhere Else To Get It

[icedearth33]

I am going to try and explain my dilemma without delving into my entire life story here, so please bare with me as I go. I appreciate in advance anyone who decides to respond to this with sound advice. At this point I would appreciate any advice that anyone may have for me. I do not know anyone personally who is on the same path as I, and my academic advisor is basically MIA as he is nearing retirement. I apologize if I bounce back and forth and note things without much explanation - I am trying to make this short and sweet for anyone reading it.

I am a full-time pre-med undergrad working part-time at about 17 hours per week. I have been attending a community college now for the past 4 years, with about two of those years cumulatively, having withdrew due to an 8 year battle with alcoholism. Before going to rehab and getting sober 2.5 years ago, I was maintaining a 4.0 GPA. However, knowing that things were going to get more difficult very quickly, I made the decision to stop drinking and enter inpatient rehabilitation. To this day when anyone asks, I tell them I did this for two reasons - to remain alive, and because I wanted to become a doctor more than I wanted to continue down the path that I was on. I could go on and on for paragraphs trying to convince whomever is reading this that my heart is in medicine and that this is what I have decided to dedicate my life to, but for purposes of time and necessity, I hope that you see that this is truly the case.

With that said, when I left rehab I stayed out of school for a semester, working full-time making pretty decent money at an insurance company, and then immediately jumped back in to college quitting my f/t job because I knew it is not where I belonged. The first two semesters back were a bit rocky; I suffered from depression and struggled a bit to get back on track, receiving a couple of C's for final grades. However, since the spring semester of this year I feel as though I have finally found my footing again, and raised my grades to A's and B's.

This semester is a bit different for me course-wise as compared to the last. I am taking chemistry and physics together along with a couple of other non-pre requisite courses, and working about 17 hours per week, and to be blatant and honest - this semester is killing me. More so, it's the fact of knowing the type of grades that I need to achieve that medical schools are looking for. At midterm I had an A in physics and my other two courses, and a B in chemistry, however, soon after my mother started having some medical issues that were very scary for me and it negatively affected my studies pretty significantly. I have dropped about a letter grade in each course. Prior to this happening though, I was studying day and night. Literally every minute. And I still had a B. I have to work and have no way around it. The stress over the past few months between my job, my studies, and my mothers health, has had a significant toll on my body physically - my hair has been falling out in huge amounts for months, and I have developed terrible acne all over my face and neck. And again to be honest, it has affected me mentally and emotionally as well. I was getting by when my grades were decent, but now with them suffering because I can never find enough time in the day to study, I can feel myself falling apart and I am close to giving up completely. Will I? No. Because that is just not what I do. But I feel something needs to change quickly, because I am not healthy.

So my question is - do I drop to part-time status as a student, taking a couple laboratory courses per semester ensuring that I (hopefully) receive mostly A's, but in turn only being a part-time this and part-time that risking looking terrible to schools in comparison to the many who work full-time and even go to school full-time, or do I continue being a full-time student so I am at least doing ONE thing full-time, and struggle through hanging by a thread more likely than not receiving mediocre grades due to time constraints when I KNOW I am capable of doing much better? What will schools weigh more heavily? And any apprehensions that you may be having while reading this such as, "well then how will she handle the load of medical school?" And the only thing that I can say to that is, for one, some subjects are just easier than others for each individual, and for two, that I feel in most respects that I get stronger every day. Missing out on 17 hours per week for lack of a better word; sucks. Any advice and opinions are welcome. Appreciated as well. I asked the same of my family today, however they are of course concerned mostly with my well being and do not fully understand the seriousness that is trying to get into medical school.

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[deleted480308]

That was very long

Whatever plan gets you the highest gpa is the one you do

 

[candbgirl]

Why are you still at a community college? Shouldn't you have transferred to a university by now? Anyway your health needs to come first at this point. Have you talked to your councilor about the depression? Do they think you have too much going on? Take care of yourself !

 

[solitarius]

Hard to perform well when one is under tremendous financial and emotional strain.

You should probably know a few things. First, there's very low tolerance for academic failure in medical school. A pattern of failure will result in expulsion. That's why the admissions process is heavily biased in favor of high GPA & high MCAT. Those are the top two criteria for any aspiring pre-med applicant. Second, the process is biased in favor of relatively privileged people who can jump through all the hurdles laid out. So besides a high GPA and MCAT, you are expected to put in countless hours to activities like community service, research, and clinical exposure (all unpaid).

Like medical training itself, premed is a huge sunk cost of time and money, except it carries the great risk in that one might not get in despite all one's best efforts.

 

[Pacna]

my hair has been falling out in huge amounts for months, and I have developed terrible acne all over my face and neck. And again to be honest, it has affected me mentally and emotionally as well.

SDN is not the place to receive medical advice.

It sounds like you might benefit from seeing a psychiatrist.

 

[icedearth33]

I apologize for the length. I want to make sure that I make it clear that I am no longer suffering from depression. Back in February of this year I incorporated an exercise routine into my daily life which led me to losing 40 lbs, gaining a decent amount of muscle mass, and almost completely ridding me of the depression I endured for the years prior. Another story for another time, as again I could go on and on about the amazing benefits of weight training and what it has done for me personally. (I have had to give most of thisup however for my studies.)

The reason why I am having trouble now physically mentally and emotionally is 100% because of stress due to lack of time. I still feel that I am in the best place right now that I have been in years, it is just weighing on me terribly that I am not obtaining the grades that I know I can achieve because I do not have the extra 17 hours per week to study. If I did, I would spend them face in a textbook the same as I do with the rest of my time, regardless of what it is doing to me health-wise. Because the grades would all be worth it at that point.

So again, seeing how I have to remain employed for those 17 hours weekly to afford to live, I am faced with the dilemma of having my grades slip as a full-time student, or lighten the load a bit to receive better grades, but have adcoms question why I couldn't work part-time and go to school full-time. However, from what it sounds like from a couple of you whichever way is going to get me the highest GPA is the way to go, and dropping one course per semester because of my employment schedule will definitely do that.

While the effects of stress have most definitely taken a toll me, I am more than willing to push through if I am earning decent grades as a result. I will never be the person that can work go to school pull off all As and do it all unfortunately. So if that is what all schools are looking for, then maybe I should take a step back and ask myself what the point in any of this is. Please understand though, that is not easy to do when you've made drastic decisions and life changes for the better to dedicate your whole being to something that you are head over heels deeply passionate about and in love with. So please again bare with me as I take in everyone's advice. I need to make some pretty big decisions regarding the rest of my future within the next few weeks here before next term starts.

Thank you for all of your responses though, I really appreciate it all. Especially because I did not know where else to seek advice.

And I am still in community college because I spent my first year there majoring in something different, then another year cumulatively was withdrawn from, and now I am finally set to graduate in May and transfer to another University.

 

[LizzyM]

You will not be able to work 17 hours per week when you are in medical school. Could you live now as you will live in medical school, namely borrowing? Let's say you are taking home $200/wk from your job. Would you be willing to borrow $4K in order not to have to work for 20 weeks next term? The financial aid office may be able to help.

 

[icedearth33]

I have decided to leave my job mid January and focus on school full time. If this is what it takes to show what I can do, it needs to be done. Thank you all again for your responses.

 

[Dr Van Helsing]

If your GPA ends up being subpar 3.5< I would look into DO schools.
I intend on working when I transfer to university, and I will only take 1 or 2 hard sciences a semester. I am doing this because I do not want to take out loans yet, and I would rather spend 20 hours a week doing something beneficial other than studying (job will aid in med admissions). Also, think about taking summer and winter courses. I always take summer classes and they make up for 2 and 3 class semesters. You want to aim for quality over quantity remember that. When all is said and done, adcoms will appreciate a good GPA and MCAT, even if it is long and drawn out..

Also think about quality of life when you enter medical school; well, there will be very little. You may not have time to exercise as much as you would like, which in turn, might make you depressed again. Don't discount other health care options.. nursing, PA, NP, etc..

Good luck OP.

 

[Helse23]

Just be careful if you will not be working because you are taking out a private loan. First, you'll need someone to cosign. Second, you will probably need to start paying it back right away and they have high interest rates. If you don't pay it back on time, you will screw yourself when it comes time to take out Grad Plus loans for med school and you can't because of your credit score.

It is a crappy system for people who aren't already wealthy. And, really, you should evaluate why you want to be a doctor to determine if it is worth it. My older sister is an RN who did a community college nursing program. Right now she is making more money than both my parents combined working 3 12-hr shifts a week. She is going on to become a nurse practitioner, which, here in NY, has close to the autonomy of a doctor. Make sure your goals could only be accomplished as a doctor. Good luck!