another off the topic subject, holding you kid back.

[stim4u]

I would like to pick your brains.

I have a 4yo, that is pretty athletic and smart. He is born in October and our state allows kids to proceed at a higher grade level.

A little small for his age, but should shoot up in the future (I am 6').
His pre-K teachers are questioning holding him back due to 'common core' intense curriculum , size, maturity etc.

No real social/academic reason to hold him back, but he is at the October cut off date and may
benefit from being the 'bigger and smarter kid' in the class vs. the 'smaller hard worker'.

His goal in life is to be 'super Nadal' in the future....

Any thoughts.

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[Ducttape]

wouldnt recommend going to higher grade level.

let him be a kid. only one chance to play outside, throw footballs around, get into snowball fights, each fluffernutters.



well, that is until he goes on SSD....

(changed for SSdoc. fyi, what do you think ppl on SSD are doing?)

 

[SSdoc33]

no call for that SSD comment. if it was a joke, color it magenta.

i have a boy born in october. if it were a girl, i MAY consider sending her a year early. girls mature faster and its not AS big of a deal if the girl is a bit smaller than her classmates.

think of it this way: if you send him early, he will graduate high school and be 17 years old when he finishes high school. Starting college before you are 18 is a bit much to ask a kid.

 

[Jcm800]

i wouldnt accelerate him My sister did it. regretted it. Better to be more coordinated, comfortable in your skin, older, bigger, than the opposite. one year wont gain him anything in the long run...

 

[emd123]

My 2 cents:

Althought it's tempting to move kids along quicker as some sort of "achievement" or "merit badge," personally I think it trends toward being better letting them be a slightly older, bigger, smarter and more confident in their class. This is coming from a guy with two kids I could easily get to skip a grade or two, if I wanted to. What's the point in moving them along in the first place? So they can finish college when they're 20, instead of 21? Once they'll get there, they never notice the difference either way. Or is it so instead of being above average, they can be an "average" student in a class where they're now smaller, worse at sports, and less emotionally and socially equipped? There's some science behind this, too.

"The idea that small age gaps can have big impacts is nothing new. In fact, it’s something we write about in Superfreakonomics, with the birthday breakdown of European soccer players: 43 percent of players were born in the first thee months of the year, while only 9 percent were born in the final three months. Children who are a few months older than their peers at 5 or 6 have more developed cognitive and motor skills, which makes them more advanced athletes and students. This early advantage can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies later on: the child thinks she is an underachiever, and so will often play that role. "

http://freakonomics.com/2011/11/02/the-disadvantages-of-summer-babies/

 

[Sharps]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshirting_(academic)

Highly recommend Montessori if there's one in your area

 

[stim4u]

thanks for the comments.
I agree that keeping him a year behind may be better overall, especially for confidence purposes.
The only thing, is that the kiddos behind him in day school seem very immature, and I am not
sure my son will be stimulated/engaged with his younger piers....

 

[kifaru]

was in same situation as you, same birth month for my son. We went with the higher grade coz the kids in kindergaten class were really too immature and my son would NOT be stimulated at all and would actually regress, we say him do this in another situation prior. Unfortunately the Christian school we chose combined pre-k and k together. We really did not want another school. We discussed the situation with the higher level teacher and we elected to try him in first grade. He is doing very well currently, plays well, he is very well adjusted, he is challenged by his teacher, cannot say I regret it but we did struggle with the decision.

 

[drusso]

Yeah, Red-shirt him.

 

[hyperalgesia]

I don't have kids but I say get him through the money-sucking scam that is the formal education system ASAP, so he can become a productive, happy person. That extra year could be the time he meets his wife, has kids, or does something extraordinary. Sitting in a classroom is not worthy of his time, even on an accelerated schedule, IMHO.

 

[jesspt]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshirting_(academic)

Highly recommend Montessori if there's one in your area

This. My experience with my kids in Montessori school has been quite positive. My oldest did Montessori kindergarten and entered public first grade with reading and math well above grade level. My middle is in Montessori kindergarten now and is doing even better than my son did.

 

[SSdoc33]

I don't have kids but I say get him through the money-sucking scam that is the formal education system ASAP, so he can become a productive, happy person.

You mean like us? The horror!

 

[Ducttape]

I don't have kids but I say get him through the money-sucking scam that is the formal education system ASAP, so he can become a productive, happy person. That extra year could be the time he meets his wife, has kids, or does something extraordinary. Sitting in a classroom is not worthy of his time, even on an accelerated schedule, IMHO.

I don't know about you, but I would trade a year of working at a menial lifeless job for a day of being 13 again ...

 

[primadonna22274]

Not a parent but I vote against pushing him ahead.
I spent elementary school in a self-taught environment (google PACEs, I think they still exist lol). My parents ran out of money and had to send me to public school. I tested at 9th grade level. I was 11, underdeveloped and a huge nerd. They settled on having me skip 7th grade. Not too bad overall but I was a social misfit until about 10th grade and didn't know anyone at the new school. I graduated a few months after turning 17. I didn't find college before 18 too difficult but I think it might have been nice to be a bit longer with my peer group.
Good luck to your little guy whatever you decide.

 

[Jcm800]

pushing him through only saves you money if you go to private school. My kids go to a public school. so either way its the same for us. I don't want them learning all that uppity talk with them private schoolers. Someday, learning to shank someone, and hot-wire a car may be useful, when the apocalypse comes…

 

[hyperalgesia]

Could anyone here go back and sit in a classroom all day, every day? How can we seriously do this to our kids? Or do they all have learning disabilities? You take intelligent, young people, capable of just about anything, and force them to sit in a chair all day. It's the biggest waste on the planet.

The only value I see is that it's a relatively inexpensive way to babysit kids in a herd when their parents have to work. Herd them from one class to another as they are taught to conform and think with a group mentality. And the metric? Test scores? the number of kids got to the 'next level'?

If I ever have kids, I'll show you all...

 

[Ducttape]

im thinking...

the saturday mornings eating Count Chocula, bowl after bowl (they were small), watching cartoons...
throwing the football around with friends...
going to soccer/baseball/football practice and fitting in with kids my age...
talking to my buddies to get the nerve up to talk to that girl...
sitting in church sunday morning, looking for them...

and no its not all rosey. like that girl running away in abject terror, when she thinks you are going to ask her to the prom; friends are also looking like they are gonna hurl from drinking last night, and you are the worst player on your team. but these memories - and feeling like you fit in - last a lifetime.


getting through school faster? meh. i didnt skip early grades, but took AP classes, college classes in high school/junior high. i got through college/med school faster than all of you. all it did was save a bit of money.

 

[drusso]

Alright, I'm a pain doctor and a locally-elected school board director....

http://www.hoodriver.k12.or.us/site/Default.aspx?PageID=253

Here's the truth...for what its worth: It's YOUR job as a parent to provide your kid the tools that they need to be successful in life. No education "system" is going to make your kid successful--private, public, Montessori, Charter, Home School, etc. At the very best, a "system" can provide a template or curriculum and maybe some good facilitators. The heavy lifting falls back to the family. Skip a year or not....it all pretty much amounts to a hill of beans in the long run.

Like health care, education systems are being increasingly "held accountable" for outcomes--test scores, achievement compacts, readiness milestones, graduation rates, etc. Like health care, most of the things that "the stakeholders" really want "the system" to be accountable for are beyond the control of "the system." So, the education industry perpetuates a uniquely American fantasy that by faithfully participating in a rigorous meritocracy your kid will "rise to the top."

Here's what I would do if I were you: Focus on developing your kid's character. Teach him to be a good person. Instill in him a true moral compass. Help him develop a well-tuned bull**it detector. Let him experience the thrill of success *AND* the agony of defeat. Help him understand the linkage between effort and reward.

Focus on those things and your kid could basically learn quantum physics sitting in a cardboard box....

 

[emd123]

pushing him through only saves you money if you go to private school. My kids go to a public school. so either way its the same for us. I don't want them learning all that uppity talk with them private schoolers. Someday, learning to shank someone, and hot-wire a car may be useful, when the apocalypse comes…

Agree, completely.

Also, force your kids to watch tones of McGyver reruns, no matter how much they hate it. There's no telling how handy it may be to be able to fashion an F16 engine out of a Coke 2 liter and aluminum foil, or fashion a defibrillator out of a paper clip and 9 volt battery, in the post-Obamacare Apocalypse coming.

 

[emd123]

The only value I see is that it's a relatively inexpensive way to babysit kids in a herd

And that my friend, is HUGE. And if you do ever have kids, no, you will not "show us." You'll become a dorky "kid person" like the rest of us whose lives revolve around endless events that cost money, comprised of watch herds of uncoordinated, underdeveloped, awkward, messy and drooling funny-looking little people running around acting a fool.

 

[SSdoc33]

Alright, I'm a pain doctor and a locally-elected school board director....

http://www.hoodriver.k12.or.us/site/Default.aspx?PageID=253

Here's the truth...for what its worth: It's YOUR job as a parent to provide your kid the tools that they need to be successful in life. No education "system" is going to make your kid successful--private, public, Montessori, Charter, Home School, etc. At the very best, a "system" can provide a template or curriculum and maybe some good facilitators. The heavy lifting falls back to the family. Skip a year or not....it all pretty much amounts to a hill of beans in the long run.

Like health care, education systems are being increasingly "held accountable" for outcomes--test scores, achievement compacts, readiness milestones, graduation rates, etc. Like health care, most of the things that "the stakeholders" really want "the system" to be accountable for are beyond the control of "the system." So, the education industry perpetuates a uniquely American fantasy that by faithfully participating in a rigorous meritocracy your kid will "rise to the top."

Here's what I would do if I were you: Focus on developing your kid's character. Teach him to be a good person. Instill in him a true moral compass. Help him develop a well-tuned bull**it detector. Let him experience the thrill of success *AND* the agony of defeat. Help him understand the linkage between effort and reward.

Focus on those things and your kid could basically learn quantum physics sitting in a cardboard box....

A word to the wise: when drusso write a post, read it. Regardless of the topic. Well said

 

[Prof Moriarty]

I'm a mid-Sept birthday and I started school early, such that I was 17 when I started college (for a couple of weeks anyway). Not sure what would have happened otherwise but I wouldn't do anything differently. A couple of my best friends are younger than me, one a Nov birthday and the other Dec. They're 2 of the most successful and talented guys I know. Both went to undergrad at top 5 in the nation schools and one went on to law school at an Ivy. I don't think there's any rush to move forward to adulthood, but neither does moving forward a little younger cause any major impediment - at least not for the people I know.

 

[Jcm800]

And that my friend, is HUGE. And if you do ever have kids, no, you will not "show us." You'll become a dorky "kid person" like the rest of us whose lives revolve around endless events that cost money, comprised of watch herds of uncoordinated, underdeveloped, awkward, messy and drooling funny-looking little people running around acting a fool.

i love my little mongrels, but when i am with them and talking to them, i swear if you recorded it and played it back to me, i wouldnt know who that person is...
They certainly change EVERY fiber of your being, and I believe for the better.

 

[epidural man]

I would like to pick your brains.

I have a 4yo, that is pretty athletic and smart. He is born in October and our state allows kids to proceed at a higher grade level.

A little small for his age, but should shoot up in the future (I am 6').
His pre-K teachers are questioning holding him back due to 'common core' intense curriculum , size, maturity etc.

No real social/academic reason to hold him back, but he is at the October cut off date and may
benefit from being the 'bigger and smarter kid' in the class vs. the 'smaller hard worker'.

His goal in life is to be 'super Nadal' in the future....

Any thoughts.

Malcom Gladwell talks about this (indirectly) in his book Outliers.

Definitely hold him back.

(Awesome book by the way).

 

[Ligament]

Dude, you silly if you dont hold him back. He'll be older than his classmates, and bang lots of chicks in high school. What a gift that would be! Seriously, make him one of the older kids in class. My buddy was like that and I wished I was older like him many times!

 

[Ligament]

Best thing to do is call in sick for him all the time so he can hang out at home and learn something interesting instead of this crap they call "school" nowadays.

 

[Ligament]

Dang, my dad called me in sick 30 days one semester in high school and I ended up the only person with a 4.0 GPA that semester cause I was not WASTING TIME IN A CLASSROOM FALLING ASLEEP FROM BOREDOM.

 

[Ligament]

I dont have any children, so please don't take any advise from me. LOL

 

[Ducttape]

that was obvious from your first post.

 

[emd123]

i love my little mongrels, but when i am with them and talking to them, i swear if you recorded it and played it back to me, i wouldnt know who that person is...
They certainly change EVERY fiber of your being, and I believe for the better.

Isn't that funny? So true.

 

[stim4u]

Dude, you silly if you dont hold him back. He'll be older than his classmates, and bang lots of chicks in high school. What a gift that would be! Seriously, make him one of the older kids in class. My buddy was like that and I wished I was older like him many times!

as important as it is 'to bang chicks' in high school, I think lil K will do well with the women in either grade.

I just think he will waste-away in the grade below his current level. I wish there wasn't a choice to be made, but this is because of some state laws that allow kids to proceed at younger ages.

The way I see it, if there are any academic issues or developmental issues/social issues (as addressed above) then I am more willing to hold him back.

Thanks for the comments above, some very good points to consider.

 

[okokok]

I'd probably accelerate my child, but let them take a year off before college. My parents were offered the opportunity to have me skip first grade, but chose not to. Later, I skipped seventh grade. I hated school, was super bored, but was socially adjusted. Went to a private boarding school my final two years of high school and graduated when I was 16. I was always so glad to have been given the chance to get out of the k-12 system early. BUT I went to a rigorous university was I was 17 and was not ready to handle it. Academically I was fine but I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and got very much into activities you wouldn't want your kid involved in. Graduated when I was 20 and barely remember any of it (though I'm still paying for the tuition 8 years later!).

Obviously just a personal anecdote so I don't know if it's helpful but I guess my point is that an age difference k-12 doesn't matter as much in my opinion. Although, going from sixth grade to eighth grade and being 12 among 14-year-olds, I kind of got thrown in the deep end as far as adolescent dating and sexuality goes. That may or may not be an issue for your son. (I'm a girl.)

 

[okokok]

Though, like some other posters said, what you teach your son at home will matter more. You're very educated while my parents were unequipped to teach me anything about college or "the real world. "

 

[hyperalgesia]

If I have kids, I think I want to do one of those community home schooling deals...

 

[stim4u]

Though, like some other posters said, what you teach your son at home will matter more. You're very educated while my parents were unequipped to teach me anything about college or "the real world. "

Thanks for the comments. I was a little different than you. I was always young for my grade, but not as young as you. I entered an integrated medical program in college and finished medical school early by a year. So in total I was pretty young as an intern. I went directly to residency and fellowship. I traveled somewhat, but always resented never taking time off. Maybe that is why I am so resentful of lazy Americans....
Anycase, what I learned is that accelerating academics after high school is a lot easier. It is not worth losing your time in high school and even freshman year in college.

 

[emd123]

Thanks for the comments. I was a little different than you. I was always young for my grade, but not as young as you. I entered an integrated medical program in college and finished medical school early by a year. So in total I was pretty young as an intern. I went directly to residency and fellowship. I traveled somewhat, but always resented never taking time off. Maybe that is why I am so resentful of lazy Americans....
Anycase, what I learned is that accelerating academics after high school is a lot easier. It is not worth losing your time in high school and even freshman year in college.

A Flexie?

 

[hyperalgesia]

And that my friend, is HUGE. And if you do ever have kids, no, you will not "show us." You'll become a dorky "kid person" like the rest of us whose lives revolve around endless events that cost money, comprised of watch herds of uncoordinated, underdeveloped, awkward, messy and drooling funny-looking little people running around acting a fool.

I would love to have some little munchkins. They will grow up and fly away. It's the concept of a wife that freaks me out...

 

[Ducttape]

A Flexie?

how do you know about flexies?

 

[emd123]

I would love to have some little munchkins. They will grow up and fly away. It's the concept of a wife that freaks me out...

Is that needed nowadays? LOL. Doesn't seem to hold anyone else back. (You should be scared, by the way. Lol. Run!)

 

[emd123]

how do you know about flexies?

Grew up in the snow. Not one but knew a couple.

 

[Disciple]

I would like to pick your brains.

I have a 4yo, that is pretty athletic and smart. He is born in October and our state allows kids to proceed at a higher grade level.

A little small for his age, but should shoot up in the future (I am 6').
His pre-K teachers are questioning holding him back due to 'common core' intense curriculum , size, maturity etc.

No real social/academic reason to hold him back, but he is at the October cut off date and may
benefit from being the 'bigger and smarter kid' in the class vs. the 'smaller hard worker'.

His goal in life is to be 'super Nadal' in the future....

Any thoughts.

Skipping a grade probably won't have any significant impact on his success in life. It could be harmful, or not, depending on the individual.

Some kids just mature faster, either physically or psychologically. We all probably remember the kid in highschool who was able to start varsity as a freshman, or the who had a beard in 8th grade.

On the other hand, remember that movie "Mean Girls"? Could be a bad idea for a girl who is a late bloomer to begin with.

Ensuring proper development emotionally and socially is probably most important.