Applying to only one school

[crazydiamond]

Here's the deal:

I live in a city with a medical school in it. It's a state school that only accepts state residents or those with strong ties to the state who will become residents. I've lived in this state for 22 years and got my undergrad from this school (with decent grades). I'm committed to staying in the state for many years to come, so I think I'm a good candidate.

But the real problem is that I REALLY want to go to this school. Not just because it's close and I'm local and it won't put me insanely into debt, but because as a mother with a small child (and plan to have more), I NEED the support that is here. My parents live here, my in-laws live here, and we have an absolutely wonderful childcare provider that we hope to have for many years to come.

Basically, I think the ONLY way medical school and residency is do-able for me is if I stay here and attend this school. If I apply and get accepted somewhere else, we will have to uproot and settle in a foreign place with no family or support. I think I we would have a lot of trouble in this regard because my husband will get so burnt out from never having any help. Nevermind that from a financial perspective, he needs to keep working so having family and low-cost/free childcare is essential.

So, is it foolish to only apply to one school? Unfortunately, I've heard that the school here is notorious for rejecting on first attempts, though that won't really stop me from applying again. I'm already non-trad, waiting another couple of years won't hurt me. My concern, though, is that I will be seen as "not too serious" since the general advice for non-trads is to apply broadly.

Any thoughts?

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[postbacker]

Here's the deal:

I live in a city with a medical school in it. It's a state school that only accepts state residents or those with strong ties to the state who will become residents. I've lived in this state for 22 years and got my undergrad from this school (with decent grades). I'm committed to staying in the state for many years to come, so I think I'm a good candidate.

But the real problem is that I REALLY want to go to this school. Not just because it's close and I'm local and it won't put me insanely into debt, but because as a mother with a small child (and plan to have more), I NEED the support that is here. My parents live here, my in-laws live here, and we have an absolutely wonderful childcare provider that we hope to have for many years to come.

Basically, I think the ONLY way medical school and residency is do-able for me is if I stay here and attend this school. If I apply and get accepted somewhere else, we will have to uproot and settle in a foreign place with no family or support. I think I we would have a lot of trouble in this regard because my husband will get so burnt out from never having any help. Nevermind that from a financial perspective, he needs to keep working so having family and low-cost/free childcare is essential.

So, is it foolish to only apply to one school? Unfortunately, I've heard that the school here is notorious for rejecting on first attempts, though that won't really stop me from applying again. I'm already non-trad, waiting another couple of years won't hurt me. My concern, though, is that I will be seen as "not too serious" since the general advice for non-trads is to apply broadly.

Any thoughts?

Name the school - the advice you will receive depends on it. (what school is notorious for rejecting on first attempts??? Thats sounds like BS to me)...

I don't think it is crazy, but you might want to do a couple of other schools if for no other reason than to get some interview experience under your belt rather than having all the eggs in one basket...

Your reasoning - the low cost family child care support - sounds a little short sighted to me. What if you got accepted at some other school with a better finaid package that would make it OK to move away and pay for day care? And are you planning to have more kids while in med school? Hmmm...

 

[mommy2three]

perhaps you should consider sending them a loi with your secondary application outlining the reasons (as you have stated above) why they are not only your top choice but your ONLY choice.

as another geographically limited applicant i completely sympathize.....and also as another mommy...our poor hubbies really do get the short end of the stick without any family help

 

[mshheaddoc]

I don't think its silly since I know lots of people who have done it in the past. I would suggest if you can talk to the admissions staff and find out what they are looking for, see if your numbers are comparable, and what you can do to improve your chances of acceptance. There are many who have applied to only one school for family reasons.

 

[crazydiamond]

Name the school - the advice you will receive depends on it. (what school is notorious for rejecting on first attempts??? Thats sounds like BS to me)...

I don't think it is crazy, but you might want to do a couple of other schools if for no other reason than to get some interview experience under your belt rather than having all the eggs in one basket...

Your reasoning - the low cost family child care support - sounds a little short sighted to me. What if you got accepted at some other school with a better finaid package that would make it OK to move away and pay for day care? And are you planning to have more kids while in med school? Hmmm...

University of New Mexico

When I was finishing up my BS and all my friends were applying to med school (who are now in their residencies at UNM), it was common knowledge that they were fairly harsh on first-time applicants. Though to be honest, two friends got in on their first attempts.

Anyway, the low cost child care isn't the only reason I want to stay here. But family is a big part. Not only are they family and absolutely adore my daughter, but because they were super flexible and willing to bend over backwards to make my dream a reality. Daycare's fine and all, but when I'm stuck at the hospital and my husband is away on business, my daughter can stay with grandma for as long as necessary. Not to mention, I really would like my daughter to form a close relationship with her grandparents, which she's already starting to do.

Basically, it's not all about money. If I also got accepted to, say, another school with a better finaid package, I'd still go to UNM. It's just my top choice all the way around.

Oh, and we do plan on having another child or two. I hope to have the next one sometime next year or the following year (I had a large abdominal tumor removed a few months ago and have to wait at least a year before becoming pregnant). And since I won't be applying until next year, this will all likely be happening before I even start school. And if we decide to have a third, it will be during school. But I don't foresee any more pregnancies beyond the first 2 years of school, or so, and definitely not in residency.

 

[apnea]

i'm kind of in the same boat. If i don't get into Denver...that might be it.

Kids make it a little more difficult don't they

 

[Law2Doc]

I would suggest if you can talk to the admissions staff and find out what they are looking for, see if your numbers are comparable, and what you can do to improve your chances of acceptance.

Strongly agree with this. If you are going to do the one application thing, it is critical that you have already paved the way by meeting with the dean and gotten advice.

But you definitely need to be a stellar applicant if you are applying so narrowly. In general, odds are simply not in your favor with one, or even a handful of applications (which is why 15-20 is not unusual).

While I don't know much about that school, I don't buy your suggestion that odds are better at any school as a reapplicant though. I'd be really surprised if the school didn't fill most of its seats with first time applicants. In general, reapplicants have bigger hurdles to overcome and have to show substantial improvements in their application to get the same level of consideration. The best approach is always to have all your ducks in a row before applying, and to go through the process once, with your best foot forward.

 

[Buckeye4life]

Does this school have an early decision program?

 

[ShyRem]

Good luck with CU, apnea. CU is harder statistically to get into than the Cali schools.

 

[apnea]

Thanks Rem...every time i read pre-allo i have to get a paper bag to breathe into

i think i'll go early decision at Denver once, see if i can get in that way. i'll only be applying there my first time, after that i'll have a better idea of what my chances really are. i was playing with one of those "what are my chances" calculators...i'm very competitive at Denver with a 35 MCAT and 3.8+ GPA, but anything below that and i'm only reasonably competitive.

should i start drinking heavily now or wait until they laugh me off campus

 

[QofQuimica]

Does this school have an early decision program?

Exactly what I was wondering, too. OP, if they do have ED, you might be a great candidate for applying that way. While you're talking to the admissions folks, you might as well ask about that too.

 

[ShyRem]

Well, apnea, I don't know how you feel about DO, but there's a new DO school opening off Parker Road (Yes! colorado will have TWO med schools!!!). Should be accepting applications this year or next. Just a thought. Perhaps better than not going at all should CU be a butthead to you, too.

 

[apnea]

...are you serious

i love you. i do. i want to have your babies

i'll absolutely go DO, i really don't see the difference between the two in practice. It's not that i don't think i can pull off the grades, although the MCAT i'd have to pull out of my...hat...is pretty daunting, but UC is CRAZY competitive. It'd be my top choice, but DO schools don't turn me off at all

 

[postbacker]

I have been pondering the OP's question...I don't think it is a crazy plan, but I do think you should be very careful about revealing your "1 school" app strategy to the school itself - they could completely misconstrue your intentions and sincerity about becoming a doctor if they know that you have only applied to their school...but at the same time, you really need to go all out and find out everything you can about admissions at this school.

So you may need to walk a tightrope on this one. I think that their knowing you are applying to just one school could end up hurting you - it should be irrelevant - but you need to tailor your PS to this school, show real knowledge of the school in your secondaries and interviews, etc.

Good luck.

 

[adoggie]

i'm only going to apply to my state school as well. reason is, i live in hawaii, and i can't exactly drive to the other states across the ocean. and no, i want to continue living in hawaii.

 

[hilseb]

Good luck with your med school ambitions. Have you been to MomMD.com?

I have two kids and I am starting med school this fall. (Yippee!) I applied to only one school the first time around, and I got an interview but I did not get in. I was told by many people I made a huge mistake only applying in the city I lived. However, I believe if I did a little more research, including if I had found this site, and if I had any hands on experience, I would have gotten in. 2 years and 400 hours clinical experience later, I applied to three schools, including one far away but in state, and got into a DO school 15 minutes from my house.

I hope you make it into that one school. Do whatever you can to make yourself as strong as possible a candidate. It doesn't end there. I want to do my rotations and residency in this county, too. My husband works here, my sons go to school here. I want to move eventually to practice, but not until after my residency. I have to do as well as possible (with my disadvantages, such as having two kids) so I can be very competitive for the rotations and residencies I want.

 

[lilnoelle]

I don't personally see why applying to only one school is a bad thing... every school that has an early decision application encourages it, especially if (like my school) those applicants are given preference.

While I understand that some individuals might appear uncommitted to medicine if they apply to only one school, I don't see that an individual with children would fit into that category... med school is difficult enough without kids, I would think an individual who had kids and also had familial support would be more appealing to a school than an individual with children who was on their own.

I think the the Op's reason for applying to only one school would be understood by adcomm members and it wouldn't hurt her.

However, as other individuals have brought up, the problem with applying to only one school is that your chances of getting in are slimmer than if you applied to multiple schools. If an individual is ok with that, then I don't see the problem.

 

[amolamedicina]

I understand where you are coming from since I am also a mother of two. I am not yet in that situation (application process) but if moving is not really an option what else can you do?? It will be very hard to move elsewhere with young children and only your husband as the main support while you are in medical school. I think it would be unfair for him and very hard for both of you to handle. I am not saying that It can't be done, but you will have to make many sacrifices that you might not be willing to make since you have children.

I really hope you get acepted into your city school. It is not impossible!

I wish you the best of luck!

Brenda

 

[amolamedicina]

I don't personally see why applying to only one school is a bad thing... every school that has an early decision application encourages it, especially if (like my school) those applicants are given preference.

While I understand that some individuals might appear uncommitted to medicine if they apply to only one school, I don't see that an individual with children would fit into that category... med school is difficult enough without kids, I would think an individual who had kids and also had familial support would be more appealing to a school than an individual with children who was on their own.

I think the the Op's reason for applying to only one school would be understood by adcomm members and it wouldn't hurt her.

However, as other individuals have brought up, the problem with applying to only one school is that your chances of getting in are slimmer than if you applied to multiple schools. If an individual is ok with that, then I don't see the problem.

I just wanted to say that I agree with you 100%. Only other parents can fully understand the situation. Our children are always going to come first even before medical school. School is very hard by itself and adding the kids make it even harder. When the time comes for me to apply, I will only be applying to the schools in state and near my city also. Luckily for me, there are more than one medical school within hours drive from where I am located, but I won't be applying anywhere else. If I get in then I will be extremely happy, but If I don't I will keep reapplying.

Brenda

 

[montessori2md]

Working on that same problem ....I agree w/ above advice re: early decision and talking to the dean, because that's what I'm doing here : ) I'm fortunate in that there is more than one school in metro dc (georgetown and gwu, but they're both mmmm....popular). We have really great support here, my DH's job here is very generous with things like time off, etc, that we would lose if he changed jobs, and moving would be very hard. That said, we're willing to consider that for residency -at least by that point, our son would be school-age, and I would be earning some income.

Part of my issue with not going away for school is my desire to practice in DC -the population here is unique, and I want to do my rotations here, so I can learn with people who are experienced with the various randomnesses unique to DC metro. That will be part of my focus on the secondaries, hopefully clarifying that there is more to my plan than just not wanting to "inconvenience" (omigod, that's such an understatement) my family.

On the one hand, I don't think I should get "special treatment" as an underrepresented minority, but on the other hand, it sometimes irks me that the system is skewed towards people who do not have dependents and can apply to 30+schools willy nilly. I know it's supposed to be the case that adcoms will "get it", but it is possible that won't happen. On the other hand, the whole app process is so skewed in so many ways (I feel for all you CA folks, really I do!), that it's hard to feel sorry for myself.

 

[viostorm]

My opinion:

Applying to only 1 medical school = not really wanting to go to medical school

You are significantly limiting your chances. If you are under 3.5 or 30 on MCAT I would say your chances are close to zero in getting in.

Where there is a will there is a way and making the sacrifices like moving away from family often makes the difference in people who end up with Dr. at the front of their name. It just comes down to how badly you want it.

 

[apnea]

My opinion:

Applying to only 1 medical school = not really wanting to go to medical school

You are significantly limiting your chances. If you are under 3.5 or 30 on MCAT I would say your chances are close to zero in getting in.

Where there is a will there is a way and making the sacrifices like moving away from family often makes the difference in people who end up with Dr. at the front of their name. It just comes down to how badly you want it.

That's completely uncalled for.

 

[nlax30]

That's completely uncalled for.

I completely agree. Though it will lower her chances, it's a personal decision that she's made for the sake of her family and I'm sure in no way shows that she's any less dedicated to becoming a physician than the next person, it just shows that she's putting the well-being of her family ABOVE the desire to be a physician.....I'll respect that quality in a future doctor any day of the week.

My wife and I had to talk long and hard about where we were willing to go and for the most part only decided to apply to Florida schools (and only to LECOM DO school, along with just a couple out of school "reach" schools).

I definitely echo the recommendation to sit and talk with the ADCOM members there and really look through your app and make sure you are pretty competitive there.

 

[apnea]

I completely agree. Though it will lower her chances, it's a personal decision that she's made for the sake of her family and I'm sure in no way shows that she's any less dedicated to becoming a physician than the next person, it just shows that she's putting the well-being of her family ABOVE the desire to be a physician.....I'll respect that quality in a future doctor any day of the week.

+100000000

 

[Scottish Chap]

If you are under 3.5 or 30 on MCAT I would say your chances are close to zero in getting in.

This is the kind of garbage that intimidates applicants. Congratulations on perpetuating the myth that medical schools only care about grades.

OP: while the average GPA and MCAT are around 3.6 and 30, respectively, for matriculating allopathic students, the range is considerable.

 

[apnea]

This is the kind of garbage that intimidates applicants. Congratulations on perpetuating the myth that medical schools only care about grades.

OP: while the average GPA and MCAT are around 3.6 and 30, respectively, for matriculating allopathic students, the range is considerable.

Further, this is the kind of BS that makes people who WOULD have been excellent doctors go to nursing school instead

 

[QofQuimica]

Before everyone piles all over viostorm too much, what s/he said about the OP limiting her chances is true. If you can't apply to very many schools, logically, that DOES limit your chances. You're placing all of your eggs in one (or a few) baskets. So vio has a point there. That being said, vio, you majorly overextended your argument; we don't all have the same priorities in life. The OP may reasonably feel that staying in town with her family is more important than going to med school, should she be forced to pick one or the other due to circumstances not allowing her to do both. It doesn't mean that she doesn't want to go to med school at all, but rather that she won't be willing to go under certain conditions. Well, we all have our conditions. For example, I did not apply to schools in CA because I was not willing to move to the West Coast. I didn't apply to schools in the Caribbean or Europe. I didn't apply to schools that have primary care as their main mission. And so on.

As for the stats, well, all anyone can do is to work hard to get them into a competitive range. Above a certain point of minimum competence, raising them even further ceases to be as helpful compared to improving all the soft stuff (LORs, ECs, essays, etc.). I agree that talking to the admissions director at UMN is the best next move for the OP.

Best of luck to all of you who are applying this cycle.

 

[oxeye]

My opinion:

Applying to only 1 medical school = not really wanting to go to medical school

You are significantly limiting your chances. If you are under 3.5 or 30 on MCAT I would say your chances are close to zero in getting in.

Where there is a will there is a way and making the sacrifices like moving away from family often makes the difference in people who end up with Dr. at the front of their name. It just comes down to how badly you want it.

Yes, you are significantly limiting your chances by applying to only one school, but it absolutely DOES NOT mean that you don't really want to go to medical school. My kids and my husband will always rank higher than my future career. That doesn't mean I don't want to go to medical school - it just means there are things in my life more important than medical school.

To the OP - I only applied to one school and my situation sounds nearly identical to yours. I ended up doing early decision, but if I hadn't gotten in that way I still would have applied to just the one school.

Meet with someone in the admissions office and see what their recommendations are.

If you want to chat, feel free to PM me. I don't want to go too much into the details of my decision here.

 

[Tired Pigeon]

To the OP: this may seem obvious, but I'll say it anyway. Apply only to those schools you would attend if accepted. If there is only one school you would attend under any circumstances, then only apply there. If there are other schools that would possibly be workable for you (note that I didn't say great, ideal, least disruptive to your family ... just conceivably possible) then apply to those places as well.

Good luck to you.

 

[crazydiamond]

Wow, thank you so much for everyone's responses! My internet connection at home was flaky over the weekend and I couldn't get here until today.

Viostorm, I understand what you're trying to say. There is some truth to your statement, I fully acknowledge. But do you have children?

I ask because I honestly think it's hard for us pre-meds, who desparately want to go to medschool, to think of anything we possibly want even more. But children and my family are it. I love my daughter more than life itself -- I'd give up anything and everything for her. Yes, I want my dreams to come true too. But if med school for me and a happy childhood for her were mutually exclusive, I'd forgo my dreams in a heartbeat. It's not about how much I want to go to med school, it's about how much she deserves a happy childhood.

My reconciliation with this fact is that I feel confident that if I attend my local school, I can have both. Sure, it will be difficult and require compromise -- but it won't be so traumatic to our family to cause us to divorce. And if that happened, then what? I be a single mother and really have a tough time, or I give custody to my then-ex-husband and be without my girl? Of course divorce and death and other tragic events occur all the time -- I just don't want to knowingly contribute to them.

The bottom line is that if I had a crystal ball and could see into the future, and saw that attending certain schools would rip apart our family, there is absolutely no way I would attend. Of course since I have no crystal ball, all I can go by is my gut. I feel that me attending this local school provides the support necesary to hopefully lead to the best possible outcome.


After more thinking and my discussing with my husband, I think we finally have a game plan. I will apply to my local school ED and provide a LOI and all that to better explain my position. If that doesn't work out, I'll apply to a few other schools and see what happens. If I get accepted somewhere else, then we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I would possibly defer for a year so my husband can find a new job, sell our house and buy a new one, etc. Basically, get everyone settled before starting.

I don't know how things are going to work out and that's very scary for us. But we'll take things as they come -- I guess that's the only thing we can do.


This whole thing also reminds me just how much more difficult things are now that I'm older. A number of years ago when I was in college, I did want to go to med school then too. I was single and childless and things were relatively uncomplicated. But for a number of reasons, I decided that there was a different career I'd rather do. . but in hindsight I realize I was just unconfident about med school. I was afraid of crashing and burning, so I never tried.

Well here I am, married with a child, and in a career that's okay but better left to be a hobby, I've found my real desire for med school. I really want in now. I feel I'm a better student, more focused, and much more organized than I was years ago. But most of all, I'm confident and know that I can do it. But anyway, it's funny because now that I really want in, my life is more complicated than ever. But that very same "complicated-ness" is what I feel will make me a better doctor. Now I just need someone to let me in!

 

[1_Accept_Away]

I can relate to the OP position...I do not have children, but am married. When I applied last year, I only applied to the medical schools in my state (4 of them). However, it soon became clear that only one of those schools was a realistic option for me. My hubby profession really limits where he can be employed at a high level. He's been incredibly supportive of my decision to leave a lucrative career to follow my dreams...and I do not think it would be right to ask his support to extend to giving up on his career goals. The first year I applied I really put all my eggs in that one school's basket - got a job doing research at the school - got an interview, but ultimately did not get in. I think my clinical experiences were weak (given that I had another career - I just didn't have the luxury of candy-striping since high school) and I had a-hole as an interviewer. The interviewer was super antagonistic from the first words of his mouth....he's not a physician himself and really had one of those attitudes that he was going to see through the pre-med idealistic B.S. In any event, my problem was compouded by the fact that this lovely interviewer was on the admissions board and so the following year, despite improving my clinical experiences, I was not even offered an interview.

After the devastation of not getting in, I decided to apply more broadly. After getting an interview at another medical school in my state and seeing that a move to that city within the State would be difficult to swing for my family...I withdrew from the other schools outside of the state, because I realized that a move to another state would not happen for my husband. And the truth of it is still that the one school would be the absolute best for me...but that maybe one other school would be do-able, though not ideal.

I hope your state is blessed more schools within the region...here, the next closest medical school is ~250 miles away. I personally know that it is very iffy to apply to one school and, in my case, did not lead to success. The problem with applying first to that one school to see what happens and, if it does not turn out, you then have the problem of being a re-applicant (which is not fatal) but certainly creates a different standard. And as far as the one school, as my brutally honest premed advisor pointed out, if they didn't take you the first time, chances are, they won't want you the following year.

So what I am saying is NOT to applying to more schools for the sake of applying broadly, if you could not make the decision or arrangements to attend if accepted. But I would sit down with your spouse and really take a realistic view of there is anything more than this one school that could work for you and your family.

 

[Beau Geste]

Another relation to the OP -

My mother went to medical school 2.5 hours from my dad, brother, and me when I was in jr. high/high school. It was rough, but we all survived. She did her residency close to home afterward. First year was at home, last 3 the 2.5 hours away.

It may sound impossible to you, but it can be done. I was 10 and my brother 7 when mom started and we were 14 and 11 when she finished. Just to give you some perspective on how old we kids were.

My dad took care of us and they bought a separate house for her (and were able to even turn a profit by selling it in the end). I really don't have bad memories related to her "not being there" either, but I can't say how your own kids will react.

Even though I'm giving this example, you still gotta do what you feel is right. It's great that you are acknowledging how important your family is to you, too.

 

[viostorm]

I'm sorry everyone got upset with me. I'm not one for sugarcoating things.

If there is one thing I can tell you guys who are still in the application phase medicine is about sacrificing some things to gain others. You are trading a normal life for something else and things aren't always great.

You won't be able to do everything. Have that discussion with yourself and your family now.

If your family won't support you by moving, do you really expect them to support you when you lock yourself in a room studying until midnight for weeks at a time? They may initially, but unless you get it out up front there will be resentment. There is no way you can be there for them like you have in the past. Moving may be one of the smaller sacrifices they make for you.

This isn't temporary, medicine is a life decision you and them will have to live with for the rest of your life.

Its never ending, what about when you are on surgery and only show up at home so you can go to bed? And it doesn't get any better .... intern year ... call when you are finally out in practice. The vast majority of physicians work their ass off, and for those who don't anymore, they did to get where they are now.

I have a friend who moved away from her husband 8 hours by car so she could be a doctor. They made it work. Many of my friends in medical school are married with kids, ALL of their spouses moved to be with them for medical school. Their spouses got jobs in the new city. Like it or not, famlies who make that commitment end up with physicians in the family. Families who don't rarely do.

I truly hope it works out for you and you get into the school where you live. Realize that is the exception rather then the rule. If you really want to give yourself the best shot, apply broadly AND to your local school. You may be surprised what your husband will do for you.

This is perhaps the best quote I've seen: "Once you agree upon the price you and your family must pay for success, it enables you to ignore the minor hurts, the opponent's pressure, and the temporary failures. - Vince Lombardi "

Some aspect of med school will hurt you and the people you love ... this is just the beginning.

And I can say this, the people who are successful at getting into med school had one thing in common: they never gave up.

Good luck, I really do want you to get in and be a great doctor.

 

[1_Accept_Away]

I think Viostorm comes up with some valid and realistic points. I think, for me, and maybe for the OP there is a naivete in applying your first go-round that the one and only ideal school will work out for you (it's not like it's Harvard)...but the medical school application process is very subjective...simply having the numbers and experience is not enough...you are being compared to a large pool of applicants who have had very similar numbers and experience...who rises to the top is not an exact science. For most people, your MCAT or GPA could have been higher and you could have always had more quantitative or qualitative reasearch, EC or clinical experiences. You can always be a better applicant, but at some point, you have to put your chips on the table and let it fall where it may. You may find though...that this one and only school might not work the first go-round...and when your hand is forced (not getting accepted to that ideal school), you and your family might be willing to be some compromises and make it by unscathed.

I say this as a person who is limited by my family and my spouse's career...but the second time around found that there are some places were willing to make work, which I didn't really consider because the one school was ideal and I thought I should get in.

I know you are thinking of your child and trying to make your dreams come true without uprooting their lives...but children are very resilient. I personally think that happy parents make for happy children...as Carl Jung said, "Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent."

 

[crazydiamond]

I'm sorry everyone got upset with me. I'm not one for sugarcoating things.

If there is one thing I can tell you guys who are still in the application phase medicine is about sacrificing some things to gain others. You are trading a normal life for something else and things aren't always great.

You won't be able to do everything. Have that discussion with yourself and your family now.

If your family won't support you by moving, do you really expect them to support you when you lock yourself in a room studying until midnight for weeks at a time? They may initially, but unless you get it out up front there will be resentment. There is no way you can be there for them like you have in the past. Moving may be one of the smaller sacrifices they make for you.

This isn't temporary, medicine is a life decision you and them will have to live with for the rest of your life.

Its never ending, what about when you are on surgery and only show up at home so you can go to bed? And it doesn't get any better .... intern year ... call when you are finally out in practice. The vast majority of physicians work their ass off, and for those who don't anymore, they did to get where they are now.

I have a friend who moved away from her husband 8 hours by car so she could be a doctor. They made it work. Many of my friends in medical school are married with kids, ALL of their spouses moved to be with them for medical school. Their spouses got jobs in the new city. Like it or not, famlies who make that commitment end up with physicians in the family. Families who don't rarely do.

I truly hope it works out for you and you get into the school where you live. Realize that is the exception rather then the rule. If you really want to give yourself the best shot, apply broadly AND to your local school. You may be surprised what your husband will do for you.

This is perhaps the best quote I've seen: "Once you agree upon the price you and your family must pay for success, it enables you to ignore the minor hurts, the opponent's pressure, and the temporary failures. - Vince Lombardi "

Some aspect of med school will hurt you and the people you love ... this is just the beginning.

And I can say this, the people who are successful at getting into med school had one thing in common: they never gave up.

Good luck, I really do want you to get in and be a great doctor.

Thanks, viostorm.

My husband does support me moving. . .it's that I don't want to move away from our families. Mainly because we are both already professionals who often work long hours, weekends and nights, and take call. Thankfully for the most part, we've been lucky in that we rarely get called into work at the same time, so one of us has been around to watch the baby. But a few times we got called in at the same time and one of us has to wake the baby at 2am and take her with us. It sucked but now that she's a toddler, it sucks even more (ie, she won't just keep sleeping in her infant carrier).

I'm also in a graduate program right now, so I'm at school late into the evenings going to class and studying. I'm already used to the midnight study sessions and being locked away all weekend. Now, the material I'm studying isn't as rigorous and medical school will be, so things will step up a notch, too. My husband has been A-OK with this.

Basically, yes, we can make it work if we move somewhere. I would just really, really, really prefer to not have to. So now instead of us waking the baby and taking her with us in the middle of the night, I can just call my mom and she'll come and stay the night at our house. My daughter used to attend a large daycare center and we really had a tough time picking her up before closing and some days we needed to send her before they opened. Obviously a nanny is a good solution, but they are so expensive I'm not sure we can afford one. I am just imagining that if we had such a hard time with our current jobs what it would be like once I'm in med school/residency. I hope things get easier once my daughter gets older. . .like 6/7/8 or so. Right now she's 2 and still very needy.

But, I've changed my mind and I'll apply to other schools as well. I haven't taken the MCAT yet, but my grades aren't all that competitive. I finally pulled my transcript out the other day and hadn't really looked at my BCPM GPA yet, and it's a 3.2. My graduate GPA is a 4.0, but it's not in the sciences so it won't count.

So I guess I need to kick-butt on the MCAT and apply all over and hope someone lets me in. We'll work it out, wherever we move to. I just would really like to stay here.

On a side note, I just saw on my school's website that starting in 2008 (the year I'll be applying) they've eliminated EDP. So that throws a wrench into the whole thing too.

 

[crazydiamond]

Another relation to the OP -

My mother went to medical school 2.5 hours from my dad, brother, and me when I was in jr. high/high school. It was rough, but we all survived. She did her residency close to home afterward. First year was at home, last 3 the 2.5 hours away.

It may sound impossible to you, but it can be done. I was 10 and my brother 7 when mom started and we were 14 and 11 when she finished. Just to give you some perspective on how old we kids were.

My dad took care of us and they bought a separate house for her (and were able to even turn a profit by selling it in the end). I really don't have bad memories related to her "not being there" either, but I can't say how your own kids will react.

Even though I'm giving this example, you still gotta do what you feel is right. It's great that you are acknowledging how important your family is to you, too.

Thank you for your story! I think in a few years I'll feel better about it, like when she starts school. But she'll definitely be school-age by the time residency hits, so I don't have a lot of worry there.

Unfortunately, there's only one med school in my state and not any others within any commuting distance. So if I don't get accepted here, we'll just all have to move somewhere else. Heh, since my parents are both retired, maybe I can convince them to move with us That's not so likely since they just bought a house here a few months ago, but they could still visit for extended periods of time.

 

[njbmd]

Here's the deal:


So, is it foolish to only apply to one school? Unfortunately, I've heard that the school here is notorious for rejecting on first attempts, though that won't really stop me from applying again. I'm already non-trad, waiting another couple of years won't hurt me. My concern, though, is that I will be seen as "not too serious" since the general advice for non-trads is to apply broadly.

Any thoughts?

Regardless of your reasons, you will be applying to one medical school. First, as long as you don't care about the application expenses, then applying to one school isn't much of a problem. Second, you know that your chances of acceptance will be lower by applying to one school but you are willing to take that chance.

If you are well above your school's numerical averages, then you would be a good early decision candidate. Since you are applying to only one school whether you are early or late regular admissions doesn't make that much difference other than don't apply early "decision" unless you are an outstanding candidate. Early decision applicants are judged compared to other early decision candidates which is why you need to be well above the school's averages for EDP.

If you are willing to spend the application dollars and understand the implications of applying to one school only (you might not get in), then apply. The number of schools that you apply to, has nothing to do with your seriousness or non-seriousness of pursuing medicine as a career. Unless you tell someone, there is no way for any school to know how many schools each applicant has applied to.

Worse case scenario is that you apply and you don't get in. The best case is that you apply and are accepted. Middle ground is that you apply, are wait-listed and either don't get in, you DO get in off the wait-list or have to re-apply the next year and get an acceptance etc.

Good luck!