- Joined
- Jul 15, 2011
- Messages
- 16
- Reaction score
- 1
Before we delve into the application material below, there is a bit of information you should know. I was born in Sonoma, CA and moved to Utah with my family when I was 13. I went to the University of Utah as an Exercise Science major. Things were great, I was hired by a professor to do research, won some scholarships, got high scores on Biochem and Anatomy exams, and even dated Miss Utah for a few minutes! At the end of my 5th year around graduation time I was hit mentally in 3 different ways at the same time: went through a very bad breakup, had family problems arise, and finished school which was always my main distractor and motivator.
I was going to submit my application but convinced myself I wasn't worthy and never would be. I've always had problems with not feeling good enough, in the sort of way that an anorexic girl never feels skinny enough. I fell into depression, didn't feel worthy of life, and was admitted into a hospital psychiatric unit for a week on lockdown. Afterwards I moved back to Sonoma to stay with family, regroup, and study to retake the MCAT (Find out next week; AAMC average was 33).
I am 100% sure medical school is right for me. I love every minute of shadowing, genuinely care about taking care of other people, and am academically sound.
The issue here is lack of confidence. Only recently have I been strong enough to try shadowing/volunteering/working and not completely break down feeling worth less than the shirt on my back if I make a small mistake. The past year I have spent maybe 30 total hours volunteering at a winery and shadowing a GP, and I've worked at a veterinarian clinic for 8 months. It's difficult finding volunteer work in such a small town. No hospitals will let me do anything besides volunteer in the gift shop
It doesn't matter which school I go to, but I'm nervous how this year long period of empty activities is going to look to AdComs. Is it big enough of a red flag that I need to prepare to either (a) explain my journey to hell and back or (b) be vague and say I was caring for a family member? That week in the hospital was actually an incredibly valuable experience (your perception of people struggling with psychiatric/drug problems changes when your roommate was schizophrenic and you spend 5 days befriending meth addicts going through withdrawals) that could be viewed as a unique growing experience- but it would be incredibly risky.
Please be truthful, I don't need any more people blowing smoke and I don't need somebody telling me I have no hope, because there is always hope. I guess I'm just hoping looking for some input to decrease my anxiety. I've had nightmares about it the last 2 nights!
Thank you so much in advance for taking the time to read through all this, I know youd rather be doing other things on a Saturday night.
T
Academics
-Dean's List
-Phi Eta Sigma Honor Society
-Undergraduate Research Scholar (for biochemistry project below)
-slight upward trend in GPA
Research
-1 year (450 hrs)- Biochemistry Lab - Investigated how a sea snail toxin could bind to a neuronal receptor and inhibit the progression of neurodegenerative diseases. VERY hands on, fantastic experience. Worked on my own project from start to finish.
-40 hours - Exercise/Health - Measured the physical and nutritional health of nurses and MA's in public health clinics, then spoke to them about how they could improve their health, hoping they in turn could teach healthy habits to patients.
-25 hours - Human Performance Lab - Performed VO2max tests and predicted VO2max tests on subjects.
Clinical Experience
- 144 hours - Took a course which allowed me to conduct clinical research on patients in the Pediatric Emergency Department. I would visit the patient/family in their room, discuss the study, take blood/saliva samples, speak with attendings about patient diagnoses, and sometimes assist nurses/techs
Physician Shadowing (in hours)
-Dermatology 25
-Plastic Surgery 15
-Orthopedics 15
-Primary Care 15 (ongoing)
-Pediatric ER 10
-Pulmonology 5
-Allergy & Asthma 5
Total Hours: 90
Volunteer
-3 semesters (100 hours) - U-Fit - On Friday nights helped kids with intellectual disabilities develop various motor skills. I became a group leader overseeing ~45 kids and volunteers.
-25 hours - Veterans Nursing Home - Talked to and ran activities with veterans to keep their spirits up and occupy their time.
-20 hours - Recycle Rice-Eccles - Recycled beer cans and plastic bottles at tailgating events before college football games and then in the stadium afterwards. Got to go out onto the field at halftime and throw out T-shirts!
------65 hours of research were volunteer also, but I don't know if that counts...
Leadership
-Group leader in U-Fit
-TA for upper division Molecular Biology/DNA lab
-TA for Kinesiology
-Student Advisory Committee member for Exercise Science department
I was going to submit my application but convinced myself I wasn't worthy and never would be. I've always had problems with not feeling good enough, in the sort of way that an anorexic girl never feels skinny enough. I fell into depression, didn't feel worthy of life, and was admitted into a hospital psychiatric unit for a week on lockdown. Afterwards I moved back to Sonoma to stay with family, regroup, and study to retake the MCAT (Find out next week; AAMC average was 33).
I am 100% sure medical school is right for me. I love every minute of shadowing, genuinely care about taking care of other people, and am academically sound.
The issue here is lack of confidence. Only recently have I been strong enough to try shadowing/volunteering/working and not completely break down feeling worth less than the shirt on my back if I make a small mistake. The past year I have spent maybe 30 total hours volunteering at a winery and shadowing a GP, and I've worked at a veterinarian clinic for 8 months. It's difficult finding volunteer work in such a small town. No hospitals will let me do anything besides volunteer in the gift shop
It doesn't matter which school I go to, but I'm nervous how this year long period of empty activities is going to look to AdComs. Is it big enough of a red flag that I need to prepare to either (a) explain my journey to hell and back or (b) be vague and say I was caring for a family member? That week in the hospital was actually an incredibly valuable experience (your perception of people struggling with psychiatric/drug problems changes when your roommate was schizophrenic and you spend 5 days befriending meth addicts going through withdrawals) that could be viewed as a unique growing experience- but it would be incredibly risky.
Please be truthful, I don't need any more people blowing smoke and I don't need somebody telling me I have no hope, because there is always hope. I guess I'm just hoping looking for some input to decrease my anxiety. I've had nightmares about it the last 2 nights!
Thank you so much in advance for taking the time to read through all this, I know youd rather be doing other things on a Saturday night.
T
Academics
-Dean's List
-Phi Eta Sigma Honor Society
-Undergraduate Research Scholar (for biochemistry project below)
-slight upward trend in GPA
Research
-1 year (450 hrs)- Biochemistry Lab - Investigated how a sea snail toxin could bind to a neuronal receptor and inhibit the progression of neurodegenerative diseases. VERY hands on, fantastic experience. Worked on my own project from start to finish.
-40 hours - Exercise/Health - Measured the physical and nutritional health of nurses and MA's in public health clinics, then spoke to them about how they could improve their health, hoping they in turn could teach healthy habits to patients.
-25 hours - Human Performance Lab - Performed VO2max tests and predicted VO2max tests on subjects.
Clinical Experience
- 144 hours - Took a course which allowed me to conduct clinical research on patients in the Pediatric Emergency Department. I would visit the patient/family in their room, discuss the study, take blood/saliva samples, speak with attendings about patient diagnoses, and sometimes assist nurses/techs
Physician Shadowing (in hours)
-Dermatology 25
-Plastic Surgery 15
-Orthopedics 15
-Primary Care 15 (ongoing)
-Pediatric ER 10
-Pulmonology 5
-Allergy & Asthma 5
Total Hours: 90
Volunteer
-3 semesters (100 hours) - U-Fit - On Friday nights helped kids with intellectual disabilities develop various motor skills. I became a group leader overseeing ~45 kids and volunteers.
-25 hours - Veterans Nursing Home - Talked to and ran activities with veterans to keep their spirits up and occupy their time.
-20 hours - Recycle Rice-Eccles - Recycled beer cans and plastic bottles at tailgating events before college football games and then in the stadium afterwards. Got to go out onto the field at halftime and throw out T-shirts!
------65 hours of research were volunteer also, but I don't know if that counts...
Leadership
-Group leader in U-Fit
-TA for upper division Molecular Biology/DNA lab
-TA for Kinesiology
-Student Advisory Committee member for Exercise Science department
