Chasing girls versus studying

[CommyO]

Firstly, I feel obligated to say that I am NOT trolling and this is a serious question. I feel I need to specify this to those who look at a thread for 3 seconds and say it's trolling without any consideration.

Anyways,
I've been focusing on school and college and haven't made much time for girls. I am trying to raise my GPA but I have recently been desiring to hook up with girls. With the whole chase game, getting girls takes time and energy; energy that I could spend studying or relaxing.

This brings me to the question; how have some of you guys balanced playing the game (getting girls) and studying/ECs. In this day and age, a lot of energy is spent texting/DMing(private messaging)/trying to be witty to get a girl as it always had I'm sure.

I have a few friends who are decent with women but they aren't really ambitious or have challenging goals to achieve so they spend all day chasing. Hell, I've already spent an hour talking to this girl/posting this when I could have been studying ochem or something.

I was going to post in social but this isn't really off topic if you consider the variables such as GPA, studying, ECs, and therefore, I think it is appropriate in this subforum.

TL;DR Should I focus on school or get back in the game and get some girls while I'm still young and they still want to have fun.

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[Toutie]

You should be able to do both. It doesn't take THAT much time and effort to chase and catch a girl. Especially at most colleges in the US.

 

[jm192]

Dude.

If you want medical school, you have to commit. Celibacy is the only way.

FFS, stop whining and download Tinder.

 

[TheBiologist]

i was going to say, if you're that desperate to save time and energy they have Tinder

but how much time are you studying that you can't take some time off for "the game"

 

[VincentAdultman]

How is this an issue in 2017 with Tinder, Hinge, etc.

 

[BurntFlower]

...

This is a serious post?

 

[Toutie]

...

This is a serious post?

Really! He starts off by stating he's NOT trolling. But honestly, how could it be taken any other way?

 

[Jdoxis]

This is some rookie trolling.

 

[CommyO]

i was going to say, if you're that desperate to save time and energy they have Tinder

but how much time are you studying that you can't take some time off for "the game"

If I'm not studying, I'm either eating, in the gym, or done with what I need to do for the day. The game demands a decent amount of time I think and multiple girls adds up if you get to that point. Plus I get mentally distracted. I can't read an NMR graph when all I'm thinking about is the girl I'm trying to hook up with

Is tinder even worth? I'd imagine girls just get flooded with replies from dudes. I'm considering downloading it and swiping right on everyone to make some catches

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

If I'm not studying, I'm either eating, in the gym, or done with what I need to do for the day. The game demands a decent amount of time I think and multiple girls adds up if you get to that point. Plus I get mentally distracted. I can't read an NMR graph when all I'm thinking about is the girl I'm trying to hook up with

Is tinder even worth? I'd imagine girls just get flooded with replies from dudes. I'm considering downloading it and swiping right on everyone to make some catches

This post might be a good indication of why you're not having much luck with "the game."

 

[TheBiologist]

If I'm not studying, I'm either eating, in the gym, or done with what I need to do for the day. The game demands a decent amount of time I think and multiple girls adds up if you get to that point. Plus I get mentally distracted. I can't read an NMR graph when all I'm thinking about is the girl I'm trying to hook up with

Is tinder even worth? I'd imagine girls just get flooded with replies from dudes. I'm considering downloading it and swiping right on everyone to make some catches

lol

and idk I've been debating myself whether I should get one myself

 

[Richard O'Mally]

 

[hellobigcat]

Damnit, I just lost.

i was going to say, if you're that desperate to save time and energy they have Tinder

but how much time are you studying that you can't take some time off for "the game"

 

[LizzyM]

Dude.

If you want medical school, you have to commit. Celibacy is the only way.

Given the problems associated with IAs related to accusations of sexual assault and the manner in which schools are handling these accusations under pressure from the US Department of Education, celibacy might not be a bad idea.

 

[BurntFlower]

If I'm not studying, I'm either eating, in the gym, or done with what I need to do for the day. The game demands a decent amount of time I think and multiple girls adds up if you get to that point. Plus I get mentally distracted. I can't read an NMR graph when all I'm thinking about is the girl I'm trying to hook up with

Is tinder even worth? I'd imagine girls just get flooded with replies from dudes. I'm considering downloading it and swiping right on everyone to make some catches

 

[aaronrodgers]

Tell the girl you're going to be a doctor one day

 

[Goro]

You should be able to do both. It doesn't take THAT much time and effort to chase and catch a girl. Especially at most colleges in the US.

This. Successful med students master time mgt.

 

[CommyO]

This post might be a good indication of why you're not having much luck with "the game."

Can you elaborate?
I don't put myself out there but I don't really care honestly. I like the isolationism lifestyle and don't want to waste my time with getting attached with people. In the past 2 years in UG (I finished 2nd year), I've had a few girls like me, at least from what I can tell but anytime I try to act on it, my grades would begin to suffer slightly or I would lose focus of the ultimate goal

For example, I don't go to parties but I was with this girl one night studying for Calc 2, I think... I think we got halfway on the first integral trig substitution... We did the good good the whole night and the only thing I could think of for the next few days was how insanely good it was and how I looked forward to doing it again.

Sometimes I blame my testosterone levels for being too elevated or I blame my second brain down there that gets control of me sometimes. I've found that my friends who are top of the class don't care for these feelings or repress them to get work done. That's what I've been doing(trying) but I'm going to try and find a happy medium

@Goro Did you deal with these things back in the glory days?

 

[Goro]

Go re-read Toutie's post.

I did not have such problems because I was painfully shy in college. Somehow I managed to have a girlfriend. Although she was a *****, even though she was stacked like the proverbial brick outhouse.

Can you elaborate?
I don't put myself out there but I don't really care honestly. I like the isolationism lifestyle and don't want to waste my time with getting attached with people. In the past 2 years in UG (I finished 2nd year), I've had a few girls like me, at least from what I can tell but anytime I try to act on it, my grades would begin to suffer slightly or I would lose focus of the ultimate goal

For example, I don't go to parties but I was with this girl one night studying for Calc 2, I think... I think we got halfway on the first integral trig substitution... We did the good good the whole night and the only thing I could think of for the next few days was how insanely good it was and how I looked forward to doing it again.

Sometimes I blame my testosterone levels for being too elevated or I blame my second brain down there that gets control of me sometimes. I've found that my friends who are top of the class don't care for these feelings or repress them to get work done. That's what I've been doing(trying) but I'm going to try and find a happy medium

@Goro Did you deal with these things back in the glory days?

 

[BombsAway]

This thread has really boosted my self esteem for the day. Re-charged to write some secondaries. Thanks SDN!

 

[aldol16]

If you have to ask... You should probably just go focus on studying and less on analyzing your every interaction with girls. This stuff comes organically and it's a big turn off for women if a man comes on too strong.

 

[deleted647690]

This isn't the right forum for dating advice; try the lounge or reddit

Also, maybe try finding like-minded people in your classes

 

[ChymeofPassion]

College girls are like GPA boosting fluff classes. They tend to be easy, they may be fun, but the majority of the time they are a lot of work and just distractions from your Ochem class.

 

[tiramisucheese]

Can you elaborate?
I don't put myself out there but I don't really care honestly. I like the isolationism lifestyle and don't want to waste my time with getting attached with people. In the past 2 years in UG (I finished 2nd year), I've had a few girls like me, at least from what I can tell but anytime I try to act on it, my grades would begin to suffer slightly or I would lose focus of the ultimate goal

For example, I don't go to parties but I was with this girl one night studying for Calc 2, I think... I think we got halfway on the first integral trig substitution... We did the good good the whole night and the only thing I could think of for the next few days was how insanely good it was and how I looked forward to doing it again.

Sometimes I blame my testosterone levels for being too elevated or I blame my second brain down there that gets control of me sometimes. I've found that my friends who are top of the class don't care for these feelings or repress them to get work done. That's what I've been doing(trying) but I'm going to try and find a happy medium

@Goro Did you deal with these things back in the glory days?

You did...the good good? You don't want to waste time getting attached? Sounds like you don't need a girl, just an empty receptacle.

 

[SLU Student]

LOL. This is hilarious. I do agree with OP that this is a legit question, though. It's important to have a social life in addition to academics. No one wants a 4.0 robot as their doctor.

Unfortunately for you, you're already entering your junior year. You should've gotten all your partying/hooking up desires out of the way your first two years. Why did you wait until now to post this? You should know that university gets progressively harder as you advance through the years, and you'll be dealing with MCAT studying, committee, and whatnot next year as well. Your best time hook up with girls is already over.

My advice for you now is definitely tinder/bars/clubs. I'm sure you have some clubs/bars around your school. They often have "college nights" or some random events throughout the school year. Go to those. You don't even have to put in any effort or "spend hours trying to slide into girls' DM's, smooth-talk, etc." Most of the time they are huge grind-fests, and the music is too loud for you to talk anyways.

Good luck.

 

[CommyO]

Go re-read Toutie's post.

I did not have such problems because I was painfully shy in college. Somehow I managed to have a girlfriend. Although she was a *****, even though she was stacked like the proverbial brick outhouse.

Right on brother!


Guys, I'm trying to hint at the phenomenon of where ambitious(or smart, if you will) people don't succumb to their innate desires.

LOL. This is hilarious. I do agree with OP that this is a legit question, though. It's important to have a social life in addition to academics. No one wants a 4.0 robot as their doctor.

Unfortunately for you, you're already entering your junior year. You should've gotten all your partying/hooking up desires out of the way your first two years. Why did you wait until now to post this? You should know that university gets progressively harder as you advance through the years, and you'll be dealing with MCAT studying, committee, and whatnot next year as well. Your best time hook up with girls is already over.

My advice for you now is definitely tinder/bars/clubs. I'm sure you have some clubs/bars around your school. They often have "college nights" or some random events throughout the school year. Go to those. You don't even have to put in any effort or "spend hours trying to slide into girls' DM's, smooth-talk, etc." Most of the time they are huge grind-fests, and the music is too loud for you to talk anyways.

Good luck.

I suppose. I'm not into all that loud music honestly. Hurts my ears and girls who listen to that crap are annoying anyways. I mean I don't mind getting with them but that's about it. I'm not old enough for those things though. Need 1 more year then I'll give it a go.

I'll have to see about tinder though as it was mentioned several times now. I think it's actually known to be purely hookup these days and if I cast out enough nets, I'll get some fish, I think.

College girls are like GPA boosting fluff classes. They tend to be easy, they may be fun, but the majority of the time they are a lot of work and just distractions from your Ochem class.

Exactly. When I'm studying I like to be in the zone but I've been distracted lately. I like to be deep in those benzene rings and mechanisms, among other things.

 

[863168]

In this day and age, a lot of energy is spent texting/DMing(private messaging)/trying to be witty to get a girl as it always had I'm sure.

You don't need a girl, you need a catalyst.

Meet uncoupled enzymes in your local area!

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Edited to fix a huge mistake (no pun intended).

Just get a girlfriend or masturbate a lot. Apparently ejaculating 21 times a month has protective effects against prostate cancer.

http://www.europeanurology.com/arti...esults-with-an-additional-decade-of-follow-up

 

[MoDiddy]

If I'm not studying, I'm either eating, in the gym, or done with what I need to do for the day. The game demands a decent amount of time I think and multiple girls adds up if you get to that point. Plus I get mentally distracted. I can't read an NMR graph when all I'm thinking about is the girl I'm trying to hook up with

Is tinder even worth? I'd imagine girls just get flooded with replies from dudes. I'm considering downloading it and swiping right on everyone to make some catches

10/10

 

[21Rush12]

Apparently ejaculating 21 times a day has protective effects against prostate cancer.

http://www.europeanurology.com/arti...esults-with-an-additional-decade-of-follow-up

Oh my.


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[Jdoxis]

Just get a girlfriend or masturbate a lot. Apparently ejaculating 21 times a day has protective effects against prostate cancer.

http://www.europeanurology.com/arti...esults-with-an-additional-decade-of-follow-up

Pretty sure the article says 21 times a month. I have a suspicion that those ejaculating 630 times a month were in a cohort all their own.

 

[Professional Student]

If I'm not studying, I'm either eating, in the gym, or done with what I need to do for the day. The game demands a decent amount of time I think and multiple girls adds up if you get to that point. Plus I get mentally distracted. I can't read an NMR graph when all I'm thinking about is the girl I'm trying to hook up with

Bro, I think I found your FB profile pic! Right on!

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Pretty sure the article says 21 times a month. I have a suspicion that those ejaculating 630 times a month were in a cohort all their own.

Lmao. Fixed. Not sure how that happened. I was thinking per month when I wrote it.

 

[Toutie]

Lmao. Fixed. Not sure how that happened.

Personal experience?

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Personal experience?

Haha. I actually am not much of a masturbator. Never have been.

 

[CommyO]

Alright boys, OP checking in. I'm gonna start cold approaching at my gym(college gym) if I see girls who are attractive on the way in or out.

me-"Hey can I ask you a question"
grill-yes
me-"How much does a Polar Bear weigh".
grill-???
me-"...enough to break the ice".
grill- DD
Hi I'm CommyO...

I don't expect much success but it's maybe 1/10 or 2/10, which is still worth and I don't really give a crap if it gets awkward since I always focus on the weights and only say what's up to my bros at the gym anyways. I also assume that most guys won't approach at the gym so I may do in-between sets as well if it's not too packed and some attraction is there.

The problem is that I don't like to look at women at the gym. It makes you seem beta if you keep glancing at them and I don't care to raise their self-esteem.

 

[jcorpsmanMD]

@CommyO
mistake #1. approaching a girl while they're at the gym. they're on the defensive there, never do this unless you're absolutely confident it will work or you're a 10/10, stud.

approach them in your natural habitat, the library. where you are the alpha, offer to study with them, help them, etc. ask to Netflix n chill, then profit. $$$

don't think so much, just do.

good luck.

 

[tiramisucheese]

Alright boys, OP checking in. I'm gonna start cold approaching at my gym(college gym) if I see girls who are attractive on the way in or out.

me-"Hey can I ask you a question"
grill-yes
me-"How much does a Polar Bear weigh".
grill-???
me-"...enough to break the ice".
grill- DD
Hi I'm CommyO...

I don't expect much success but it's maybe 1/10 or 2/10, which is still worth and I don't really give a crap if it gets awkward since I always focus on the weights and only say what's up to my bros at the gym anyways. I also assume that most guys won't approach at the gym so I may do in-between sets as well if it's not too packed and some attraction is there.

The problem is that I don't like to look at women at the gym. It makes you seem beta if you keep glancing at them and I don't care to raise their self-esteem.

I'm sorry, the vibe here is SO WEIRD. I hope you come across better in person than you do via text.

 

[aldol16]

Guys, I'm trying to hint at the phenomenon of where ambitious(or smart, if you will) people don't succumb to their innate desires.

Such driven people do succumb to their desires. They're just much better with prioritizing their focus and time management. In other words, that "ambitious" guy in your class is probably also getting more ***** than you. These aren't mutually exclusive things even though the media likes to portray them so.

Alright boys, OP checking in. I'm gonna start cold approaching at my gym(college gym) if I see girls who are attractive on the way in or out.

Never approach at the gym, much less cold approach. You'll get rejected 10 times out of 10.

 

[CommyO]

I'm sorry, the vibe here is SO WEIRD. I hope you come across better in person than you do via text.

I sometimes read bb misc forums and other forums in my spare time. You eventually begin to pick up the lingo. I doubt most people here are into weight lifting or cars. Which are typically the forums I frequent.

@jcorpsmanMD honestly man, I think it's worth it if you go for a girl who has a decent body but not great face but I've never cold approached ever so it's to get out of my zone and experiment.

In the library is pretty sketchy though? I mean it's to catch someone glancing or whatever but I am there purely to study and maybe admire girls but that's it. That way, I don't have to worry if she's checking me out because I'm 100% is devoted to my work. The same goes with lecture halls, I used to be aware if there were some prospects in the vicinity but now I just sit in the front and don't care at all. This helps me learn better and focus.

 

[hellobigcat]

You don't need a girl, you need a catalyst.

Meet uncoupled enzymes in your local area!

he needs a wingmanase.

 

[raiderette]

If you keep chasing girls,you will be distracted. Get girlfriend, have sex and get back to studying. Bonus points for picking someone who is serious about her own future so neither of you can get too needy. Or get a friend with benefits that is too busy for drama.

 

[CommyO]

he needs a wingmanase.

lol can't believe I missed that chemistry comment. I need that h2 lindlar catalyst for this exothermic reaction. I'm trying to reduce but h2 Pd/C is reducing my nitro and carbonyl group instead of just the carbonyl

So i have a date this Friday and not sure if I should commit to it? I just want casual fun but not sure what she expects.

@raiderette thanks. It's nice to hear a woman's perspective. There's this one girl I like(1.5 yrs now) and she studies more than me which is insanely hot but she's always surrounded by other dudes so I back off. She's the only girl I would gf atm.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Alright boys, OP checking in. I'm gonna start cold approaching at my gym(college gym) if I see girls who are attractive on the way in or out.

me-"Hey can I ask you a question"
grill-yes
me-"How much does a Polar Bear weigh".
grill-???
me-"...enough to break the ice".
grill- DD
Hi I'm CommyO...

I don't expect much success but it's maybe 1/10 or 2/10, which is still worth and I don't really give a crap if it gets awkward since I always focus on the weights and only say what's up to my bros at the gym anyways. I also assume that most guys won't approach at the gym so I may do in-between sets as well if it's not too packed and some attraction is there.

The problem is that I don't like to look at women at the gym. It makes you seem beta if you keep glancing at them and I don't care to raise their self-esteem.

Please do not do this. The vast majority of women do NOT want to be approached at the gym. They are there to work out, not get hit on by creeps.

 

[CommyO]

Please do not do this. The vast majority of women do NOT want to be approached at the gym. They are there to work out, not get hit on by creeps.

Okay, I take offense to being called a creep. If some girl is wearing a revealing outfit, I'm going to notice/admire. I'm not a creep, I'm a straight male.

You could just say that she doesn't want to be hit on my guys... But judging from her outfit, she does. That's why I considered gym as a pickup location and I usually workout to de-stress and relax anyways.

@raiderette Should I try gym approach on attention whoring girls? If I isolate my approaching to gym, I can focus on school better, I think.

 

[CrunchyPeanutButter]

lol can't believe I missed that chemistry comment. I need that h2 lindlar catalyst for this exothermic reaction. I'm trying to reduce but h2 Pd/C is reducing my nitro and carbonyl group instead of just the carbonyl

So i have a date this Friday and not sure if I should commit to it? I just want casual fun but not sure what she expects.

@raiderette thanks. It's nice to hear a woman's perspective. There's this one girl I like(1.5 yrs now) and she studies more than me which is insanely hot but she's always surrounded by other dudes so I back off. She's the only girl I would gf atm.

Of course you can commit to it. It's Friday night and you want some punani so go out. Enjoy yourself for one night. It won't kill you.


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[CrunchyPeanutButter]

Okay, I take offense to being called a creep. If some girl is wearing a revealing outfit, I'm going to notice/admire. I'm not a creep, I'm a straight male.

You could just say that she doesn't want to be hit on my guys... But judging from her outfit, she does. That's why I considered gym as a pickup location and I usually workout to de-stress and relax anyways.

@raiderette Should I try gym approach on attention whoring girls? If I isolate my approaching to gym, I can focus on school better, I think.

Also I disagree with this. She can wear whatever she wants. You have no right to hit on her because of "what she's wearing".

If she wants you to hit on her, she will give you the signals. But not by what she's wearing.


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[raiderette]

Okay, I take offense to being called a creep. If some girl is wearing a revealing outfit, I'm going to notice/admire. I'm not a creep, I'm a straight male.

You could just say that she doesn't want to be hit on my guys... But judging from her outfit, she does. That's why I considered gym as a pickup location and I usually workout to de-stress and relax anyways.

@raiderette Should I try gym approach on attention whoring girls? If I isolate my approaching to gym, I can focus on school better, I think.

Ditch the gym. I date people from the gym, but I approach them. Stick to classes, clbs and social events. Tinder if desperate. Hitting on women while at the gym is one step above yelling at someone on a street corner.

 

[cactusman]

Okay, I take offense to being called a creep. If some girl is wearing a revealing outfit, I'm going to notice/admire. I'm not a creep, I'm a straight male.

You could just say that she doesn't want to be hit on my guys... But judging from her outfit, she does. That's why I considered gym as a pickup location and I usually workout to de-stress and relax anyways.

@raiderette Should I try gym approach on attention whoring girls? If I isolate my approaching to gym, I can focus on school better, I think.

Um or it's more comfortable to work out in a revealing outfit and not all clothing choices are made for the sake of the male gaze.

 

[CommyO]

Alright guys, relax. Women can wear whatever they want and I won't look, maybe just a little glance here and there.

@raiderette your two cents on this? Aren't some women happy with attention? Especially at a college gym?