Complicated situation, please anyone help!!!!!

[Emily10]

Hi all,

This is going to a very long essay, so please don't read it if you are very busy. But I would appreciate any advice you might have. I feel that I have to make some pretty tough decisions in my life right now, or I will never make them later.

Little background on myself: I moved to Canada all by myself from another country, went to the university to study business, majored in finance and economics. Right now I am 21 and in the middle of finishing up my masters in finance, I just got a good summer job in finance (my first real job).

My life has been quite a challenge (but very fun), I had to struggle through adjusting to a new country, learning English, getting good marks. I am still international student, so I had to work very hard to get into the graduate school (most grad schools have limited funds for international students). Recently, I went through the whole crazy process of getting a summer job in finance, where you had to appear super confident and break out of your comfort zone. Little did they know how insecure I am...

Recently, I started having thoughts that I don't feel very fulfilled with my future career, although I love studying finance (up until last month when I started getting depressed). The size of the financial industry is not justified my the value it adds to society, and the thought that I will just be enriching myself for the rest of my life without contributing anything to society makes me very depressed. I put all this effort and all I will get in the end is just money, the word wouldn't even become one bit better from anything I have done. All of my effort might as well have applied to something big, like saving lives..

So I decided to think what career options I might have which will make me happy when I turn 30, 40, 50 etc. I have always had the thought of doing PhD in finance, and I will probably succeed, but I am not sure how satisfying research would be. Teaching has always been my passion though, but teaching finance or economics without truly believing that it's very important to the world. I don't think students would be too impressed. But that's one of my options. I know professors have very satisfying lifestyle. But instead of putting another 4 years with no pay into the phd, I could do something completely different.

So I thought of becoming a medical doctor or something related to medicine, although it never occurred to me until very recently. My reasons and thoughts are the following:

I realized that I don't care about money as much as I thought I would, although I do care about things money can get - security, travelling around the world, helping my family financially. My parents paid a lot for my education, so I feel like I owe them a lot.

I did enjoy what I studied, up until last month when I actually got the job for the summer. Somehow it triggered a lot of depressing thoughts in me. All I can think about is how I will have to work in the office for the rest of my life and that doesn't sound like fun.

I want to help people and feel like I accomplished something.

I like studying, and I learnt how to get good marks and study efficiently.

So right now my plan is the following: study for MCAT next year while I finish the second year of my masters, see how much I can get. Volunteer in the hospital in the meantime. Apply to some programs which don't require any prerequisites in Canada, not get in most probably. Then work for a year to save money and get my permanent resident status in Canada. Then apply to some life sciences program at bachelor's level at the age of 23, study for two years, and then hopefully get into med school in Canada (since I already have bachelor's degree). Is the above a viable plan to get into med school in Canada?

My problems with that plan: I want to try to go to Toronto for my life sci bachelor's, but it's hard to get good marks in U of T. I also would rather go to the States, but their med schools discriminate a lot against non-US citizens. My boyfriend wants to go to the States for his grad school, and I have perfect relationship which I am very afraid to lose. I am very afraid to make the wrong choice about med school, fail to get in, and give up a perfectly fine, intellectually stimulating career with good pay. May be there are other options for me to feel more fulfilled with my career, other than the drastic change to go to med school?

I feel like if I had an admission letter to go to med school right now (even somewhere in Alberta), I would just take off and go. But the whole pre-med process scares me a lot, especially in Canada, compared to the States, where there are a lot more school to choose from.

Please give me some advice. I feel very depressed about everything right now, freaking out about my future, feeling very useless and scared. I am a very determined person, and if something doesn't feel right in my life, I will do everything to change it. Except right now, I am not sure what needs to be fixed.

Thank you very much in advance.

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[NTF]

You could be just having a freak out or maybe not. Only doing a little exploration will give you a sense of what you want. Start slow, take a few science classes and shadow, shadow, shadow, volunteer, volunteer, volunteer. The more time with doctors and patients the better.

Don't concern yourself with all the "what-ifs" and "what-nots" when so far all you have are speculations in your head. You're stressing about imaginary steps 14 and 15 when you're barely on step 1. You haven't even explored medicine yet. You haven't even given finance a chance yet. Set small manageable goals and see where it takes you.

Best of luck to you.

PS If you're truly depressed please seek professional help from a therapist and psychiatrist.

 

[sumstorm]

You might also explore what you can do within your current field to change the world. there are options there (husband is in the data security side of finances.) that may satisfy the urges as much as changing fields.

 

[riverjib]

You could be just having a freak out or maybe not. Only doing a little exploration will give you a sense of what you want. Start slow, take a few science classes and shadow, shadow, shadow, volunteer, volunteer, volunteer. The more time with doctors and patients the better.

I agree. You're not ready to make this decision yet. It doesn't sound like you're committed to medicine just yet, so your primary focus now is to explore your options. A career in the financial industry at the moment is not anyone's best option, but that doesn't mean you should pick the next "sure thing." You need to explore your options.

It's admirable that you want to thank your parents by helping them out. But what made you decide to jump to medicine all of a sudden?

 

[Emily10]

I am not picking a next sure thing, I just want the job that matters and which I will enjoy. Right now I am facing a perfectly good and secure career in finance (Canadian financial sector is doing and will be doing pretty well).

 

[Emily10]

I was wondering if anyone is familiar with the Canadian system? I know there is post bacc program in the US, but what do non-traditional students do in Canada? Just start taking science courses to meet the usual requirements as non-degree students or start another bachelor in life sciences or biology?

 

[Emily10]

By the way, thank you for all the replies above.

 

[dragonfly99]

I think your plan is OK.
I agree with nontradfogie though.
It seems like you don't hate finance/econ, just are thinking it is unimportant. Not necessarily so...think of the guy who started microlending programs in the 3rd world...what a great idea which has changed so many lives. Economics/finance is very important, even in the health care field.

You are only 21, so you have plenty of time to make these decisions. There are US schools that will take Canadians...there was at least one at my school. You will need a better MCAT score than the average US student to have a shot at getting in. I can't tell you anything about Canadian schools or what it takes to get in there. You do need to get your feet wet by shadowing some docs and potentially doing some hospital volunteer work. Also, if you haven't taken much science you will need to take a couple years of chemistry and bio and one of physics. I'm not sure you need to take a whole year or two of extra classes...could probably take some in night school while working in finance. The average age to start med school in the US I think is 24 or 25, when you factor in the fact that some people are in their 30's, etc. when they start. So you are not "behind" should you end up choosing medicine. Right now I don't think you know enough to know if you want to do medicine, and you may just be "freaking out" now that you are so close to finishing your current degree.

 

[sindadel]

I am Canadian and I attend a Canadian medical school.

GPA and MCAT scores are more competitive in Canada than in the US, generally speaking. You can do your pre-reqs in one year of non-degree seeking studies, although you may find it easier to get the classes you need if you are accepted into a second bachelor's program. Grades are very important.

Every school in Canada has different rules about how they calculate your GPA - go on premed101.com and look at school-specific sub-forums for details. Shadowing is much more difficult to come by than in the US, but other clinical volunteering is important. Lots of people volunteer in the Emergency Room, or at Red Cross. Lots of people also do research.

You will need to be at least a permanent resident for most medical schools in Canada - I think maybe McGill might take a few foreign students. So take your time - work for a couple of years, get your pre-reqs done and then apply when you are more sure whether this is what you really want.

As far as your boyfriend and relocating to the US, my advice to you would be to wait and see how things continue and if you want to start making decisions as a couple rather than two individuals. There are lots of good grad programs in Canada, and if the two of you want to be together, you should decide on the best location for BOTH of you.

 

[Emily10]

Thanks Sindadel,

that's pretty useful. I have another question for you. Does it matter that I overloaded in some semesters in my undergrad (6 courses) and then took 4 courses in the next semester. I also took extra courses in the summer sometimes. And also, right now, I am taking 5 courses in my master's program (instead of the usual 4), and then I will take 3 courses next semester.

The reason is that I want to take certain classes which are not offered next semester, it's just scheduling issues.

However in my second year of undergrad I took 4 courses each semester with 2 courses in the summer because I wanted to participate in extracurriculars.

Does it matter?
Also my GPA is 11.3 overall for undergrad so overloading or underloading didn't really affect my grades..

Thank you very much!

 

[sindadel]

At the schools I applied to, they calculated your courseload over the year, rather than per semester so that would have worked out. It may vary by school, so you should double-check, but generally so long as you have at least a couple of full-time years, I would think it would be OK.

What do you mean by your GPA is 11.3?

 

[Emily10]

Thanks,

The grades in my undergrad were out of 12. 11 means 85% and above, 12 means 90% and above.

One last question about pre-requisites. If I work for a couple of years, then go back to school full-time, take all the courses in 1 year as non-degree student, for instance. Will I have to keep studying because I will only be able to apply to med school in September (or whenever the applications are due) the following year (after all the pre-requisites grades are ready)?

So in fact it will be two years of pre-med studying, even though my pre-requisites are done in 1st year? Is that the case?

May be it will be better to take pre-reqs while working full-time? I guess the course schedule would be difficult to combine with work..

Thank you so much!! You are very helpful!

 

[GoodmanBrown]

Thanks,

The grades in my undergrad were out of 12. 11 means 85% and above, 12 means 90% and above.

One last question about pre-requisites. If I work for a couple of years, then go back to school full-time, take all the courses in 1 year as non-degree student, for instance. Will I have to keep studying because I will only be able to apply to med school in September (or whenever the applications are due) the following year (after all the pre-requisites grades are ready)?

So in fact it will be two years of pre-med studying, even though my pre-requisites are done in 1st year? Is that the case?

May be it will be better to take pre-reqs while working full-time? I guess the course schedule would be difficult to combine with work..

Thank you so much!! You are very helpful!

You don't really have to study that second year. Generally, it's called a "glide year," and you just get a job for the year. For instance, I finished my pre-reqs in June of last year, took my MCAT about that time, and finished with school. So, I'm now just working a full-time job until I start school in the fall.

 

[Emily10]

GoodmanBrown, thanks. Do you work on a job unrelated to medicine right now?

I hope finance people will take me back after such "betrayal"

If you quit your job before going to school, you must have some experience with that.

Seriously, how do you explain to your employers that you are not completely satisfied with your job and want to go back to school to study medicine for a year, and then you would want to come back in a year to earn some money for med school? Or to return for good, if you don't get into med school? That is pretty awkward.

I just don't want to cut off all my past professional network. I want to have something I can always fall back on. I put a lot of effort into it and I like finance, it's just that I want to try myself in something different and do something more rewarding and challenging.

 

[sindadel]

In Canada, you won't have an admission decision until May 15th (US admissions are rolling, starting Oct 15, I believe). So, get a job, and give notice after you know whether and where you got in. Admission is by no means certain, so you don't actually know that you will only be there for a year. People leave jobs, all the time, for various reasons, and if you have formed strong connections, most people will wish you well when you move on. I would certainly be careful about how many schools you apply to (for interview scheduling reasons and low vacation time accumulated), although in Canada, interviews tend to be held en masse on weekends, so flying in and out doesn't have as much impact on work.

You will need to complete your pre-reqs before you matriculate, but most people take them before they take the MCAT (August is fine for Canadian admissions, May is wise for US admissions) so they are as well prepared as possible. But theoretically, you could leave e.g. biochem and ochem 2 for your application year, as that material is not heavily tested by the MCAT.

 

[Velocity]

Seriously, how do you explain to your employers that you are not completely satisfied with your job and want to go back to school to study medicine for a year, and then you would want to come back in a year to earn some money for med school? Or to return for good, if you don't get into med school? That is pretty awkward.

I just don't want to cut off all my past professional network. I want to have something I can always fall back on. I put a lot of effort into it and I like finance, it's just that I want to try myself in something different and do something more rewarding and challenging.

Would you want to have someone working for you that admitted that they dislike the work, and aren't planning on staying in this industry? There are arguably many people that dislike their jobs, but at least you know that they're committed to their work (in some form) because they want to get promoted and keep the job. Someone in your situation would have to prove that they're an excellent worker regardless of loyalty or intentions.

As the saying goes, nothing ventured (risked), nothing gained. You've found a point of relative stability in your life. There is no guarantee of success if you change tracks, and yet to even make the effort means that you're risking the little bit of stability that you have now. It's not an all-or-nothing situation. If you continue to work your job and do classes part time, it may be possible for you to work toward changing tracks while maintaining (and expanding) your professional ties and position. It'll be a lot of work, and it'll take longer than if you were to be a full-time student. You'll always be gambling or paying with something.

Recently, I started having thoughts that I don't feel very fulfilled with my future career, although I love studying finance (up until last month when I started getting depressed). The size of the financial industry is not justified my the value it adds to society, and the thought that I will just be enriching myself for the rest of my life without contributing anything to society makes me very depressed. I put all this effort and all I will get in the end is just money, the word wouldn't even become one bit better from anything I have done. All of my effort might as well have applied to something big, like saving lives..

You're disenfranchised with the idea of finance. I personally disagree that the finance industry contributes nothing to society - money is quite important in modern society, and its management and allocation is critical to many large-scale projects.

The fact that these feelings arose relatively recently is something to think about, but not something to uproot your life over just yet. I'd say to stick with it for a year, and see how you feel then. If you're really miserable I wouldn't force it; you may want to try changing companies. That would help you to get a feel for whether you're really miserable with the entire field, and not just that particular position or that particular division/company.

As you probably know, medicine is a big commitment. Simply getting in requires a lot of work and stress, and once you're in it's still a lot of work and stress - how much depends on you and your specialty of choice. Most of us here have volunteered and shadowed quite a bit, and have a good sense of what we're getting ourselves into, but the truth is that nobody can really know whether they'll love the job or not until they're actually doing it. With medicine, because of the cost and effort of simply getting in, people who don't enjoy it often can't get out.

Volunteer in various areas to get a feel for different professions, and do some personal reflection to get to know yourself better. I hope you find what's right for you, and when you do, I hope you can gather up the courage and energy to move toward it.

 

[Emily10]

Thank you everyone, you are absolutely right. I am going to start looking for volunteer positions soon. I am trying to ace my finance courses right now, then I will work for a bit, enjoy life and see how I feel.

Does it make any sense to write MCAT next year (next spring may be)? I will have some "free" time while I finish my studies compared to while I am working. Or is it a waste of time? I know it is valid for 5 years, but will med schools look down on 5-year old MCAT score?
Also, I am looking forward to studying for MCAT just because I want to learn something new and completely unrelated to finance, just to be a more well-rounded person (I know very little about science). I like the learning process by itself.

 

[Velocity]

Does it make any sense to write MCAT next year (next spring may be)? I will have some "free" time while I finish my studies compared to while I am working. Or is it a waste of time? I know it is valid for 5 years, but will med schools look down on 5-year old MCAT score?
Also, I am looking forward to studying for MCAT just because I want to learn something new and completely unrelated to finance, just to be a more well-rounded person (I know very little about science). I like the learning process by itself.

The MCAT is valid for three years, unless they changed something recently. Preparing for the MCAT - assuming you want to do well - is a huge investment in terms of time (monetary-wise, it's not the most expensive exam you could take, but the exam costs a fair bit and the cost of study materials can add up).

It's not impossible to do well on it. I've known finance people who spent a solid 3-4 months studying for it and did spectacularly well. It takes a lot, a lot of work. Don't underestimate that. If you take it and do poorly medical schools will be able to see that, but it won't keep you out of medical school if you decide to go that route.

Before thinking about the MCAT, work on figuring out what you want to do. If you decide it's medicine, you're going to need a lot of resolve. It's a long, hard path, and if you're not dedicated you're going to give up midway through.

 

[Emily10]

Thanks a lot for taking your time to post replies!