About the ads

  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Check out PREMED.me!
    Offers FREE service to help premeds manage their applications and MCAT study calendars and identify schools to target.

CRYING during interview...

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical Allopathic [ MD ]' started by CMW1120, May 21, 2011.

  1. This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors and sponsors. Thank you.
  1. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical

    SDN Members don't see this ad. (About Ads)
    Hello!

    I was speaking with my mom today about my experience volunteering at MD Anderson. I never cry when I encounter patients but when I talk about certain personal encounters with family or friends, I usually get choked up or teary eyed.

    I'm now wondering what might happen when I interview at medical schools in the future. The experiences I have had with patients, families, mission trips, alzheimer patients, etc has been life altering and impacting. Some of them are difficult to talk about.
    If I teared up, what would the admission committee think?

    I would never want them to think I can't handle the pressures of medicine...
    Last edited: May 21, 2011
  2. Lunasly

    Lunasly

    Joined:
    May 17, 2010
    Messages:
    627
    Location:
    Canada
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    I'd say try and grow a set and push through it. :p
  3. Mithril

    Mithril Johnny Canuck

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2010
    Messages:
    961
    Location:
    Vancouver, Canada
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    I would probably try not to cry during the interview. It might be seen as a sign of weakness. Yeah, definitely don't risk crying.
  4. shaggy alfresco

    shaggy alfresco

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
    Messages:
    408
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Also may look fake.
  5. demh23

    demh23

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2010
    Messages:
    147
    hSDN Alumni
    This is the most beautifully crafted discreet way of asking whether it impresses your interviewer if you fake cry or not. Outstanding
  6. blackandgold1

    blackandgold1

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2011
    Messages:
    192
    Status:
    Pre-Medical

    Hahahahahahaha
  7. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Yeah, I definitely see how they might think that but its also human nature. It might be hard to refrain from showing emotion. Well, crap.
  8. Mithril

    Mithril Johnny Canuck

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2010
    Messages:
    961
    Location:
    Vancouver, Canada
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    It's also human nature to be judgmental about someone crying when talking about experiences related to a job for which they are interviewing.
  9. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    It's definitely not fake. I have seen many people go through traumatic and painful situations that have effected me.

    It's called compassion.
  10. tobi44

    tobi44

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    124
    Location:
    California
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member

    I don't think you should cry if you can help it, it will probably make your interviewer feel awkward.

    A good thing to do might be to practice mock interviews with someone or by yourself in front of a mirror. Pick a few experiences that were most important for you. Practice speaking about them naturally and without getting teary. Take a look at the interview feeback from SDN and use them as practice questions. Most anything can get better with a little practice, even something like this
  11. boobelle

    boobelle

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2010
    Messages:
    146
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    I suppose it depends on what you're talking about...what worries me is you seem to describe is crying when talking about most of your patient/family encounters. While I'm sure some of them may have been deep and powerful experiences, frankly they can't all have been. Being unable to talk about your experiences without crying would raise a red flag about your ability to set boundaries and function professionally. (Keep in mind there's a big difference between showing and acknowledging emotion and being unable to discuss an experience without crying.) It's great and important to be touched emotionally by what and who you encounter, but it's dangerous to be unable to process those experiences appropriately...particularly since the experiences you'll have as an MD will be much more significant and hit you harder than those you've had as a premed.

    It might be worth considering why you're having such trouble discussing these encounters...it sounds like you might be more internally conflicted or having more trouble handling your emotions than you might think. Learning how to process the emotional impacts of medicine is an important lesson and will help you ultimately be a more compassionate physician.
    Last edited: May 21, 2011
  12. circulus vitios

    circulus vitios Cпутник-1

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2008
    Messages:
    5,368
    SDN 5+ Year Member
    It's awkward as hell at the very least.
  13. NeuralNetwork

    NeuralNetwork Pass the BDNF

    Joined:
    May 19, 2011
    Messages:
    605
    Location:
    New York
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Ask yourself this: Would you want your doctor to cry in front of you when you came in for a checkup?
  14. Mac Blade

    Mac Blade One of "Those two dudes"

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    86
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    SDN 2+ Year Member
  15. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical

    Yeah, true...

    The one question I know that might get me is if they ask: "Why do you want to pursue medicine?"

    My passion for medicine sparked when my mom was battling leukemia and was given 1 year to live. That diagnosis devastated my family and it's still upsetting to talk about it.

    I don't know. I guess we will see. I have some time...
  16. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Will do, thank you!
  17. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Well of course not but the interview is completely different. You're being asked personal questions about specific events in your life, hardships, experiences, etc.
  18. phnerd1105

    phnerd1105 I hate chemistry.

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2010
    Messages:
    3,748
    Location:
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Not to sound insensitive or anything (really), but you should learn how to talk about it more. If its your passion, that means you have taken the experience, learned from it, and are able to move forward and do something about it.

    At every school you interview at, you will be asked "Why medicine" and you will have to explain this situation over, without crying about it. Crying might show that you get heavily affected by experiences in your past, and you can't move forward from them.

    Again, I understand that it was and still is a difficult situation. I'm really not trying to be an ass, so sorry in advance.


    This.
  19. YouNeverKnow22

    YouNeverKnow22

    Joined:
    May 13, 2009
    Messages:
    2,137
    Location:
    Grey Street
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    I'd say man up
  20. shaggy alfresco

    shaggy alfresco

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
    Messages:
    408
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Yes my doctor cries in front of me all the time.
  21. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Seriously?
  22. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
  23. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    I agree. Thanks. :)
  24. shaggy alfresco

    shaggy alfresco

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
    Messages:
    408
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Not to sound like a douche but man up. I bet at least 50% of people here have had a mother/father/sibling/grandparents/best friends who've battled (and died) to a significant medical illness. Of course we all are extremely emotional when it happened but while your decision to enter medicine can certainly be influenced by emotional events, the committee probably wants to see that you've logically gone through and thought about it. I'd be reluctantant to accept someone who I thought was basing his or her decision in an emotionally fragile state.

    Also it may come off as fake. If it doesn't, it may still convey the wrong image of how you decided to be a doctor.

    So don't.
  25. Mac Blade

    Mac Blade One of "Those two dudes"

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    86
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Hey, to be fair, when I asked I didn't know all pertinent information. Having a close family member diagnosed with terminal illness is an extremely painful and emotionally draining experience, trust me, I have a similar -though not as traumatic- experience. Ok, given that, I can understand your extreme emotional connection to medicine (at least to some degree). Where I thought you might be a troll is when your post implied that everyone who doesn't cry upon reflection of clinical volunteering lacks compassion.
  26. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    :thumbup:
  27. tabascosauce

    tabascosauce my temper short but my money long

    Joined:
    May 24, 2010
    Messages:
    1,125
    Army SDN 2+ Year Member
    this is a legit q. shame on the posters who think this is trolling.

    it is hard for me to imagine a situation where crying is advantageous during an interview.

    u will be seen as either weak or fake.

    harden your heart and swallow your tears.
  28. TexasBelle87

    TexasBelle87

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2010
    Messages:
    136
    Location:
    Deep in the heart of TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    I started crying during one of my interviews and it ended up being one of the best interviews/conversations I ever had. My interviewed asked me about my mom and I began to talk about how she came to the U.S. alone wanting a better life and how she sacrificed everything for my sisters and I to have good education and opportunities. When I started talking about how hard I'll work so my mom has a good retirement I really began to tear up and cry but it was definately from the heart! I think my interviewer appreciated my honesty and he shared some personal stuff too. At the end of the interview he said.."Don't worry...i'll get you in this school" and I had an acceptance 2 weeks later!
  29. Suncrusher

    Suncrusher ☣ ☣ ☣ ☣ ☣ Lifetime Donor

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2010
    Messages:
    6,381
    Location:
    Florida
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    If you don't want to come across as distant or cold while talking about something that is moving or tragic, there are other options. Try fake-pausing-to-collect-your-emotions instead of fake crying.
  30. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Congratulations on your acceptance! I'm glad to hear that your sincerity was rewarded. I see that you are from Texas and you got into UTHSC! Awesome!

    I should have known that a Texan would be the one to respond with encouraging and compassionate feedback! It's appreciated down here.
    :)
  31. shaggy alfresco

    shaggy alfresco

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
    Messages:
    408
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    I was interviewing someone once (in IT) and they totally did the fake pause-and-clear-throat move. I wanted to laugh right there. Suffice it to say, she wasn't invited back.
  32. Kaustikos

    Kaustikos Klassy Gentleman

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2008
    Messages:
    8,972
    Location:
    Always Bespin
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 5+ Year Member
    Truer words have never been spoken.
  33. theshellyb

    theshellyb

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    259
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    I had a very similar experience in my interview at Cornell (minus the instant acceptance, hah). My mom had an incredibly difficult childhood and has still managed to be an amazing parent and wife and has given my sisters and I everything she never had. When I started talking about it, I cried a bit. The interviewer pushed me some tissues. It was definitely not ideal, the interviewer had been pretty cold and distant throughout the whole thing so he just sortof kept that going on. I apologized, he said it was ok, I composed myself, and moved on. I was waitlisted. :rolleyes:

    Just wanted to second the idea of practicing talking about it a lot so that you don't get overwhelmed thinking about the gravity of what you're discussing. Good luck!
  34. exquisitemelody

    exquisitemelody

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2010
    Messages:
    247
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    I was actually afraid I might cry during my interview. I volunteer for hospice, and the patient that I had been seeing for 2 years (yes, quite unusual considering the patient was in hospice care) passed away a week before my interview. I had talked about the patient in my personal statement, and them asking about the patient would have been fair game. Thankfully they didn't ask. I think the best thing to do would be to try to avoid the subject or practice talking about it so you won't be emotional.
  35. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Thank you so much! Congratulations on your acceptance! :)
  36. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Aw, sorry to hear about your loss. I worked for a hospice company so I know how close you can become not only with the patients, but with the families as well. I'm glad they didn't ask about that situation and that everything went well. I wish you the best in the future!
  37. thepoopologist

    thepoopologist Ph.D in Clinical Meconium

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2009
    Messages:
    3,242
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    Fine, but keep in mind that you are interviewing for a graduate school position, not for the Miss America crown.

    The effect of your theatrics will depend on the interviewers level of cynicism and the level of your physical attractiveness.
  38. Hahaha. I completely agree with this statement. I am cynical person so for most cases I would assume it was fake, but I would feel more compassion if she was attractive.

    However, to the OP, I think tearing up wouldn't be that bad. But if you do break down, just hope hes not a cynic. If it helps, from reading your post, I personally believe you cry because you are compassionate not because your trying to fake it to gain leverage and I believe I am a pretty cynical person (guess not cynical enough because I believe the OP).
  39. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    :thumbup:
  40. alwaysaangel

    alwaysaangel

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2006
    Messages:
    5,383
    Location:
    Orange, CA
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    SDN 5+ Year Member
    I would avoid it if possible.

    Genuine and compassion is all well and good. However, at an interview you should be putting your best foot forward, making a good impression, making the interviewer like you, and making good conversation.

    Crying will do none of those things.

    Yes, some people will respond well to it, but for a lot of interviewers it could come across badly. Either they may think you are fake, feel awkward, or cause a huge interruption in the flow of the conversation.

    If I were you I would talk about it enough that you can discuss it without getting severely choked up/outright crying. The best thing you can do in an interview is have a pleasant fluid conversation. Crying will mess that up.

    I interviewed a girl once who randomly in the middle of the interview told me about an issue with an eating disorder, she started crying. While I understand while she brought it up - bringing it up and crying made for a really awkward moment because there was really no where to go after she said it - without resorting to actual 'interview questions' which I hate.

    Your interviewers are human, and you can easily make a bad impression. Be yourself but avoid things that are likely to make them feel negatively toward you.
  41. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    I should have been more clear. Your right, not every encounter has been deep and powerful. There are only a few topics that would cause emotions to rise. I think the most difficult one would be talking about my mothers battle with leukemia. It has been a life changing experience that has definitely made me stronger. In regards to other experiences, I think I would be ok. The road to getting a medical school interview is difficult, rigorous, but EXTREMELY exciting! That's a ton of emotions to juggle under pressure.

    All will go well. I have time to practice and time to grow.

    No worries. Thanks.
  42. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Aw, poor girl. I definitely see how that can be awkward. Hopefully that will not be me. :)

    Thank you for your advice!
  43. MeatTornado

    MeatTornado

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Messages:
    2,336
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    Physician SDN 5+ Year Member
    Remember this:

    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVlwH7-05Fk[/YOUTUBE]

    it elicited two responses:
    1. she was faking
    2. she's weak and won't be able to handle the pressure

    just like hillary clinton you're a woman (i'm assuming) who is trying to get into a male-predominant profession and showing that kind of emotion in a setting like an interview might not go over well at all.
  44. LuciusVorenus

    LuciusVorenus Primus Pilus, Legio XIII Gemina

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2009
    Messages:
    2,764
    Location:
    California
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    SDN 5+ Year Member
    Go to 4chan.

    Look through as many threads as possible.

    If you don't feel like weeping, you are now safe to interview!
  45. CMW1120

    CMW1120 Enjoy the journey

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Interesting. Thanks for sharing. I don't know if it's because I'm a woman or what but the crying didn't phase me. I thought it was sincere and conveyed passion. For me, her vague remarks and her statement about "being tired," showed weakness. In the end, that was a significant disadvantage in her career. I get it...

    No crying! :)
  46. willen101383

    willen101383 Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2004
    Messages:
    2,706
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 7+ Year Member
    I think what you need to consider is (as others have said above me) the level of this crying. Is it okay to pause for a second before going on? Absolutely. Maybe a little teary eyes. But when tears start spilling over the brim....that crosses the line. You are at a med school interview and you need to try to keep it together to the best of your ability...however... Med schools dont want "hard ass" doctors who cant show emotion. But they want docs who know how to balance and control their emotions on the spot when they need to....and perhaps show emotion later if need be. Got it? Pausing and teary eyes okay. Hell there are things that if I think about that make me teary eyed and I am a 27 year old guy! Good luck on your future inteviews!
  47. iamcool

    iamcool

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    95
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    I am a male and every time someone cries in front of me, it is just awkward.

    Women tend to be weak and emotional. May be against a female interviewer, it might not be as bad.
  48. phnerd1105

    phnerd1105 I hate chemistry.

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2010
    Messages:
    3,748
    Location:
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    [​IMG]

    Uploaded with ImageShack.us
  49. RebeccaBlack

    RebeccaBlack

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2011
    Messages:
    76
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    Crying during the interview = BAD BAD idea. Practice talking about the thins that make you very emotional. Talk to strangers about it over and over again.

    A friend of mine cried during her interview when talking about plights her family suffered. She was asked by to the school for a second interviewer because her interviewer had nothing to say to the committee other than she cried. After the second interviewer where she had to explain why she cried, she was put on the alternate list at that school.

    She went on to get into every other school she interviewed at after that... schools that were harder to get into.

    I don't think its that crying is a BAD thing. I think it just distracts your interviewers from anything else about you. Try not to do it.
  50. Suncrusher

    Suncrusher ☣ ☣ ☣ ☣ ☣ Lifetime Donor

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2010
    Messages:
    6,381
    Location:
    Florida
    Status:
    Medical Student
    SDN 2+ Year Member
    What's so tragic about IT lol

Share This Page


About the ads