Current students I need your advice

[TxDPT14]

My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in December. I've been accepted to PT school in Dallas and in my hometown. I have already decided to go to the program in my hometown. The only problem is that may dad has just taken a really rough turn (infections, chemo is not working, etc) and my mom is telling me he doesnt want me to start PT school because of what's going on. She doesn't think I'll be able to concentrate and that my dad is more important that PT school. In no way am I saying that PT school is more important but I just don't see how me starting PT school would have I negative effect on what's going on. I don't think I'll have a hard time concentrating and ill be close to home so I'll be able to see him often. I don't know what to do. Any thoughts, opinions or words of advice?

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[TxDPT14]

Sorry I had a lot of typos. Let me clarify: my mom is the one who doesn't want me to go. I do not think my dad would agree with postponing because he would not want to e the reason I did not start the program.

 

[ptdpt]

I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad. Do you think you will be able to concentrate given the circumstances? I don't know your personality, so it is hard for me to really give you an answer either way. Will you be able to cope with the stress of PT school and your father? I think only you really know that answer. Everyone is different and some people are "built" tough to handle all that life dishes out and others are not built to handle too much stress. What type are you?

Also, if you don't start PT school what would you do? I think it will be therapeutic to keep yourself busy and start school, but again only you can really answer that question. You have a tough decision to make and hope that your father gets well.

 

[knightslug]

I think it might be a good idea to ask the PT department if it is possible to postpone admission for a year or what options you have if you need to take a leave of absence just in case. The sooner they know about your situation, whether or not you attend this year, the more understanding they should be if things get especially difficult for you and your family.

 

[Kepania]

I'm not in PT school yet, but I can speak to the other side of your dilemma. I hope you don't mind if I'm brutally honest. I'm assuming you are looking for a straight answer since you have shared a personal situation.

First off, I truly hope your dad has a better outcome than most. I hope for the best for him and for your family. My gut feeling on this is that your mom wants you to be around. PT school is very demanding and you will not have a lot of free time. It is likely that both your mom and your dad will need your support through this.

My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in January 2010. I moved home to help my step dad care for her and to spend as much time with her as possible. Going through the next eight months was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. It was a full time job as well. I had no time to work. She passed away that September and it took me about nine months to even begin to function again after going through that hell and losing my mom. We were very close. There is no way I could have handled school through all that, nor did I have the time. But like another poster said, everyone is different.

I'm assuming you are relatively young and can spare another year. Take the above poster's advice and see if your program will postpone your admission due to your circumstances. Spend this time with your family. PT school will always be there.

 

[TxDPT14]

Thanks everyone! I am pretty driven and I don't think I would have hard time in school concentrating. Like one of the posts said, I think it would honestly help me stay busy. But I just dont want to let my family down. I will email both schools and see what they say about a deferral or a leave of absence. Thanks so much guys!

 

[drdomore]

I agree with the other posters. Spend time with your parents and forgo school for now. You got into PT school once, you will get in again, and you will have a strong story to tell in your essay about your compassion. Spend the year with your mother and father, as they will need you; stay busy with your family, not with school.

I suggest talking directly with the PT Department head ASAP. Scheduling a personal visit is best, with a scheduled personal phone conversation being second best. I do not think an email is the correct communication vehicle in your particular case. Let them know your situation and ask if they could possibly hold a spot for you for the following year.

 

[Maya2015]

Another option would be to apply to the University of St. Augustine in Austin. I know they are still looking for more students for Sept 2012 and Jan 2013. Dallas is only 2 hours away so you can drive up to visit any time. You would also only have to defer 4 months instead of a full year. Plus if you had to take a trimester off you could jump in to the class behind you 4 months. Just another option that is a little more flexible.

 

[banares]

I can only speak from personal experience, but I was in a very similar position. My dad was diagnosed with and passed away from cancer in my junior year of undergrad, and I still don't know how I managed to make it through classes. As I'm finishing up my first year of PT school, I can say with confidence that there is NO way I would have been able to go through the past year under the same circumstances. PT school is absolutely overwhelming, and having a family member who is sick is even more so. The combination, for me, wouldn't have worked.

I also wish I would've taken my junior year of college off just to spend more time with my family. PT school will always be an option, but if your dad is very sick, spending time with him may not be.

Many thoughts and prayers being sent your way. Good luck with whatever decision you make!

 

[mtm34]

First off, I'm sorry to hear about your situation that is very stressful. I would highly reccomend contacting the school you plan to attend (preferably the director of the program). There were students in my class, the class ahead, and behind that had to take a year off due to similar situations and the school should most definitely save your seat. Good luck to you and your family.

 

[Litlwarrior08]

You will never regret the time spent with your parents. My gut was also that your mom will need you for support. Talk with the program director as others suggested I think your best advice will come from him/her....they know the demands of the program. You know your strengths and the needs of your famly (extended family support included) You could always start and see how you handle the program, and family support, and then take the time off if needed. Find out at what point you could jump back into the program. Sure you don't want to go through the whole application/interview process again. Programs usually have something set up for emergency type situations. Good Luck

 

[markelmarcel]

Just wanted to weigh in as I'm a current first year and have been struggling with my mom having some serious health issues throughout this school year. (at one point they thought she had pancreatic cancer, actually) and it has been very hard for me. I am not far from home but still about an hour and a half away and it's hard. I haven't been able to be there for her and my Dad, but for the most part they are doing well. She's now scheduled for another surgery this coming Monday (which is my finals week) and although she tells me not to worry, of course I do because she is my mom. Take home message here is that I ended up having a mental breakdown in October and have been going to counseling ever since to help me balance everything out, school is much more doable with counseling. If I were you I would probably hold off a year to start, but if you absolutely must go I highly suggest you start going to counseling ASAP and not to wait until you break down from the stress of an ill parent and school. I also hope the best for you and your family.

 

[TxDPT14]

Thank you guys! I just feel like I won't go back if I don't start now. And I don't think I made this part clear but the program I am going to is in amarillo where my parents live and I will be living with them. The only time I will be away from them is during the first summer semester and I will be in Lubbock which is an hour and a half away. The reason I mentioned Dallas is because I was going to go to UTSW until my dad was diagnosed. Thanks for all the advice I'll weigh out my options and see

 

[TheOx777]

Sheesh! You hate to hear this kind of news. Just my $0.02 but I would strongly consider waiting. Could you possibly have them hold your spot for a year due to your family situation? The first year can be so time consuming, and it would behoove you to not have extra matters to inundate you while in DPT school. I wish you and your family the best!

 

[stopitmarcy]

I just feel like I won't go back if I don't start now.

WHAT?!!?!?!?!?!?

IDK it sounds like you made your mind up and are arguing the situation. Like you really wanna go to school but you wanna do the right thing too.. but which is the right thing to do? It's basically your choice. And you live with that choice.... for the rest of your life. I hope that choice is personally the right one.

Cliche' but... set it free and if it was meant to be you'll find your way back.

 

[TxDPT14]

I don't know the answer to the question of which is the right thing to do or I wouldn't be in this situation. If I were having to move far away from my parents to go to school, there is no way I would be thinking about starting this year. But I will be living at home with them. So I guess I'm just being optimistic by thinking it would be okay to start.

My dad has already told me that he would be very upset with me if I do not start this year.

So now my question would really be, do I do what my dad wants, or do I do what I think is right?

I just feel that if he wishes for me to go....that would be the best thing to do. I don't want to live with thinking that I didn't do what he wanted me to do.

The school said they couldn't technically hold my spot but that I would just need to touch up my old application and I wouldn't have to interview again for next year.

 

[TxDPT14]

.

 

[greenwoodwa]

I don't think there is any one correct answer as everyone deals with hardship and grief differently. You have to do what's right for you. I'm a coach and one of my athletes Dad had terminal cancer his senior year of high school/freshman year of college. Somewhat similar to you, his mom wanted him to stay local but his Dad wanted him to go to his top choice in colleges which was about 4 hours from home. For him, school and especially his team, were really important as it was an escape from all the sadness he felt when he was at home, which was overwhelming for him. For him, I feel that not being in school would have made it more difficult. However, this was high school and not PT school and he was also younger than you.

Regarding PT school, during the first two quarters of the grad program I was recently in, I both took and was in all the same classes as the first year PT students, and while it was a lot of work, personally, I didn't find it to be overly difficult. In fact, I found undergrad harder due to my being in a Varsity sport and having much less time, although it could also be that I'm older now and know how to study. However, there were some students who really struggled, but there were also those who had an easier time of it than myself (I'm not saying it was easy!). One of the PT students had a family and juggled his time between them and school, and another of my classmates mom had terminal cancer. Both were able to make school work and did fine. It really varies on the type of student you are as to how difficult and time consuming school will be and as to how you handle hardship.

As one of the writers mentioned, I think seeing a counselor with whatever decision you make is beneficial. In fact, you may want to think about talking to a counselor now and then make your decision as they're probably going to give you better advice/help you think this out, than we might be able to. It sounds like you feel guilty either way, and that's something they can help you with as well. Good luck with your decision and I wish you and your family the best.

 

[puppypaws]

maybe you could take a ride over to the PT school and ask some of the students how time consuming and stressful their first year was. It could give you a better picture of what you would need to do to balance PT school. I'm sorry about your dad. I hope you can find a way to make everything work out.

 

[TxDPT14]

Thank you guys for those last few posts. It made me feel better as opposed to making me feel guilty. I will definitely take the advice that both of you gave! Thanks again