Dad pretty much forcing me into health care, specfically Medicine.

BU Medical Sciences
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DeadliestSnatch said:
Bull****. I know exactly how it is. My best friend of 6 years was Indian. He chose pharm school over what he really wanted to do. Which is one of many reasons why he's not my friend anymore. I lost all respect for him.

What it comes down is choosing your own path. Frankly, if you're too scared to do what you want because you don't want to be disowned by your family, I think you're a wimp and your life is going to be pretty pathetic. If your family is willing to disown you for choosing your own career, why the f!ck would you care if they disown you anyway?

Sorry, but I just don't feel any sympathy for the OP. There are people out there who truly can't pursue their dreams; because they live in poverty, have poor health, have children, etc. So when you have the chance to do what you want with your life and you don't do it because you're scared of what big bad daddy might think of you? Sorry, that just makes you a tool.
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First of all, don't talk about how you've experienced it unless you actually have. Seeing someone going through it is not the same as actually going through it. That's like saying you understand what its like to be in poverty just by seeing it; I'm sure you'd have a much deeper understanding of it if you were on the streets.

Second, you said you're no longer friends with a BEST friend of 6 years because he had some family problems? If that's really the reason, then I wouldn't want to be your friend either. You're "losing respect" for him because he had no choice? Please, get real.

Third and finally, I never claimed to have it the worst. I know there are people out there with it worse off than me, but my situation is still pretty bad compared to most of the people on this forum and probably YOU assuming how much pride you seem to have in your words.

This may sound a little offensive but societies outside Asian ones will NEVER understand what it's like. Sure you can take it to the extreme and say "leave home, work and pay off school" but that's NOT how it works. If I do that, my family pretty much disowns me and I'm alone. No thank you, I'd rather have people that are there for me to fall back on. And yes "If they love me they will keep me" may be true, but everyone will know what I did, and THAT will cause a loss of respect.
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Get into school and major in what you WANT to go into. Tell your Dad that ANY major can be "premed" and that Med, Dental, and Vet schools like to see different majors that are out of the ordinary so you are trying to boost your chances of getting in. Then, don't apply to a Med school. By then, you will have a degree and it is too late. ;) jk...kinda...

Have you looked into Nursing or the PA route? I know you say that you don't have a choice, but you will be miserable the rest of your life if you go into something you don't like, and you will be providing sub-par health care (potentially) if you are not passionate about it. And as a patient I would NOT want a doctor who is only a doctor because (s)he HAD to be. No way!

You also risk not ever getting in..I mean how will you answer this interview questions: "What made you want to go into Medicine?" They will see right through it.

I know it is hard to get away from depending on your family for help, but it IS possible. Get a job and get some loans - then go do what YOU want. I worked full time all through my first year, part time my second year, and will be working part time this year. I have only needed to take out one small loan, and I have barely touched it. I live on my own and pay for my own schooling, food, etc. Trust me, it will be worth it to be doing what you want.
 
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MagicDrumSticks said:
First of all, don't talk about how you've experienced it unless you actually have. Seeing someone going through it is not the same as actually going through it. That's like saying you understand what its like to be in poverty just by seeing it; I'm sure you'd have a much deeper understanding of it if you were on the streets.

Second, you said you're no longer friends with a BEST friend of 6 years because he had some family problems? If that's really the reason, then I wouldn't want to be your friend either. You're "losing respect" for him because he had no choice? Please, get real.

Third and finally, I never claimed to have it the worst. I know there are people out there with it worse off than me, but my situation is still pretty bad compared to most of the people on this forum and probably YOU assuming how much pride you seem to have in your words.

This may sound a little offensive but societies outside Asian ones will NEVER understand what it's like. Sure you can take it to the extreme and say "leave home, work and pay off school" but that's NOT how it works. If I do that, my family pretty much disowns me and I'm alone. No thank you, I'd rather have people that are there for me to fall back on. And yes "If they love me they will keep me" may be true, but everyone will know what I did, and THAT will cause a loss of respect.
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Immigrant families usually have no support other than their immediate family members.

Being disowned as an immigrant is like being an orphan. You have no one to turn to but yourself and your friends.
 
Forget all of this crap. Tell your dad to stuff it. Take it from me, I did exactly that when I was your age. I joined the Marine Corps instead of doing what he wanted me to do and it was the best choice ever. It is years later and my father and I have a mutual respect for one another that would never exist if I had deferred to his every wish. Did you ever think that he might be trying to force you to grow up? Turns out that is exactly why my father acted the way he did.
 
Simplify said:
Forget all of this crap. Tell your dad to stuff it. Take it from me, I did exactly that when I was your age. I joined the Marine Corps instead of doing what he wanted me to do and it was the best choice ever. It is years later and my father and I have a mutual respect for one another that would never exist if I had deferred to his every wish. Did you ever think that he might be trying to force you to grow up? Turns out that is exactly why my father acted the way he did.
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What did you do in the corps?
 
db2624-big-balls.jpg
 
TopSecret said:
You had an arranged marriage?
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Haha, no I'm GOING to have one. It's a bit more relaxed than the Indian version I guess. Kind of imagine 5-10 pairs of parents putting their kids in a pool when their born, forcing them to date when they're done with school, and mixing and matching until something happens.

Side note: Where is your profile picture from? It's been eating at me for days now.
 
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MagicDrumSticks said:
I knew this day would come, after a huge fight with my father about how me becomming a doctor is his dream and not mine, he has stated abruptly that he won't pay for my college if I don't go into medicine.

Now since I have no choice and nowhere to go, I want to pick an easier pre-professional major that makes good money. Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.

I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE
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Just don't go to college, then.
 
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MagicDrumSticks said:
First of all, don't talk about how you've experienced it unless you actually have. Seeing someone going through it is not the same as actually going through it. That's like saying you understand what its like to be in poverty just by seeing it; I'm sure you'd have a much deeper understanding of it if you were on the streets.

Second, you said you're no longer friends with a BEST friend of 6 years because he had some family problems? If that's really the reason, then I wouldn't want to be your friend either. You're "losing respect" for him because he had no choice? Please, get real.

Third and finally, I never claimed to have it the worst. I know there are people out there with it worse off than me, but my situation is still pretty bad compared to most of the people on this forum and probably YOU assuming how much pride you seem to have in your words.

This may sound a little offensive but societies outside Asian ones will NEVER understand what it's like. Sure you can take it to the extreme and say "leave home, work and pay off school" but that's NOT how it works. If I do that, my family pretty much disowns me and I'm alone. No thank you, I'd rather have people that are there for me to fall back on. And yes "If they love me they will keep me" may be true, but everyone will know what I did, and THAT will cause a loss of respect.
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First of all, I do have pride in my words. Lots of pride. Because unlike you, I'm not a puppet and I'm going my own way in life.

You are a child.

I don't lose respect for people who actually can't change their circumstances. You have plenty of options; you just don't want to do anything because it's toooooo hard. Cry me a freaking river. The only reason you care about your family "disowning" you is because you don't want to lose access to daddy's precious money. It's hilarious that you've drawn a comparison to living in poverty, considering the fact that I actually, you know, HAVE. And your situation is NOTHING compared to poverty.

Why did you even post here? The overwhelming majority of advice you've received has said essentially the same thing: get a job, work/take out loans, pay for school yourself, and grow up. Yet, you've shot down every helpful suggestion that anyone has offered. You just wanted an audience to whine to, and now you're pissy because I'm not shedding a tear for you. Poor baby.

Your posts are vomit-worthy. You have "no choice?" Are you ****ing serious? Here, let me help you out:

Main Entry: choice
Pronunciation: \ˈchȯis\
Function: noun

1 : the act of choosing : selection <finding it hard to make a choice>
2 : power of choosing : option <you have no choice>
3 : a number and variety to choose among <a plan with a wide choice of options>
4 : care in selecting

You'd be alone? No one to lean on? Sucks for you, but that still doesn't mean you have "no choice." I don't think you understand the concept of choice. There is no gun to your head. No one is forcing you to be a doctor. You don't get to sit here and play victim and tell everyone that you have no choice in life just because you're too lazy to do things the way everyone else does.

You can make it about race all you want, but all that does is prove what a flaming idiot you are. People of all backgrounds and nationalities are pushed by their parents into careers that they don't really want. It has absolutely nothing to do with being Asian, but that's an easy to way to just end the argument, isn't it? "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE MY FAMILY IS ASIAN."

So, here, I'll summarize your posts for everyone tuning in now: whine whine whine. Sob sob sob. I'm too much of a tool to stand up to daddy and I want you to feel sorry for me! Why don't you all feel sorry for me?!+pity+
 
OP, I understand some of the things you're talking about. I come from an asian family as well. It's tough, there's a lot of pressure to be something professional, be it lawyer, engineer, accountant, or doctor. I'd say major in something you like in school so you can get a good gpa. As others have said, you can be any major and be pre-med. While doing this, go shadow a few doctors and maybe volunteer at a hospital. You may find you like it. It seems from one of your posts you cant decide whehter you purely don't want to be a doctor or just dont want to because your dad is annoying you. You can decide whether to apply or not based on your experiences volunteering and shadowing. There comes a time though, even in asian families, where you have to decide things for yourself.


You could always be a malpractice lawyer and make money off of us future doctors(joking of course).
 
MagicDrumSticks said:
lol its cool, sorry for my cranky response, I'm just kind of angry right now :(


And no I don't really think there's anything that stands out to me. I like electronics and stuff (like cnet.com) and I like talking to people. But jobs like that don't pay squat and I want to be financially stable
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What about becoming a nurse? Since you like talking to people, nursing would be better than pharm with more interaction with patience. If you are an active person, you can try physical therapy as well. PT also work closely with patients.

Honestly though (and please don't kill me for this), I think most health-related careers are considerably easier than medicine or dentistry.
 
DeadliestSnatch said:
First of all, I do have pride in my words. Lots of pride. Because unlike you, I'm not a puppet and I'm going my own way in life.

You are a child.

I don't lose respect for people who actually can't change their circumstances. You have plenty of options; you just don't want to do anything because it's toooooo hard. Cry me a freaking river. The only reason you care about your family "disowning" you is because you don't want to lose access to daddy's precious money. It's hilarious that you've drawn a comparison to living in poverty, considering the fact that I actually, you know, HAVE. And your situation is NOTHING compared to poverty.

Why did you even post here? The overwhelming majority of advice you've received has said essentially the same thing: get a job, work/take out loans, pay for school yourself, and grow up. Yet, you've shot down every helpful suggestion that anyone has offered. You just wanted an audience to whine to, and now you're pissy because I'm not shedding a tear for you. Poor baby.

Your posts are vomit-worthy. You have "no choice?" Are you ****ing serious? Here, let me help you out:

Main Entry: choice
Pronunciation: \&#712;cho&#775;is\
Function: noun

1 : the act of choosing : selection <finding it hard to make a choice>
2 : power of choosing : option <you have no choice>
3 : a number and variety to choose among <a plan with a wide choice of options>
4 : care in selecting

You'd be alone? No one to lean on? Sucks for you, but that still doesn't mean you have "no choice." I don't think you understand the concept of choice. There is no gun to your head. No one is forcing you to be a doctor. You don't get to sit here and play victim and tell everyone that you have no choice in life just because you're too lazy to do things the way everyone else does.

You can make it about race all you want, but all that does is prove what a flaming idiot you are. People of all backgrounds and nationalities are pushed by their parents into careers that they don't really want. It has absolutely nothing to do with being Asian, but that's an easy to way to just end the argument, isn't it? "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE MY FAMILY IS ASIAN."

So, here, I'll summarize your posts for everyone tuning in now: whine whine whine. Sob sob sob. I'm too much of a tool to stand up to daddy and I want you to feel sorry for me! Why don't you all feel sorry for me?!+pity+
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Come on guys, lets try to be civil.

Both of you are right. Yes the OP has a choice, but at the same time most people don't want to disobey their parents and cause strife.

I'm sure others have said this, but just get the degree and then you are a grown man and can do what you want. Do extremely well in classes and work hard, you will be fine.

If you decide not to do medicine, Dad will warm up after he realizes you aren't doing it. Just get a degree and have Daddy pay.
 
DeadliestSnatch- i agree with you in some ways but you're being a little presumptuous.. it's not that easy for a lot of people to just say eff it and risk getting disowned by their family, who they love and naturally want to please. you're acting like the kid has no love for his dad and just wants his money. you have no right to say that to someone you dont really know anything about.. sure he seems to care a little bit too much about money but that doesnt mean its the only factor involved...

also, lots of us know what poverty is like, does't mean you have to be an a**hole about it. seems like you're tryin too hard to be some kinda BAMF
 
Just tell your dad what he wants to hear, seems simple enough for me. Then you can tell him you changed your mind later on if you decide to go a different path.
 
Do you have family friends/relatives who can reason with your Dad and make him see other points of view?

I empathize with your situation, I'm from an immigrant family, however my dad just wanted us to be educated in something, anything so my siblings and I had freewill and his support. I'm sure he thinks that he knows what's best for you and he's acting in ur best interest. If someone (with sway with him, possibly ur mum) can reason with him, that will be the best resolution. This way, you have his support, personal freewill and potentially avert future instances where he's trying to dictate your life.
 
DeadliestSnatch said:
DeadliestSnatch
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you are right in the sense that there is no gun pointed to his head to force him into anything.. so he has a choice

but it really is not that easy. it's not as easy as (or as hard as) it is for a native American who is used to the American culture and way of life. To try to understand it better, imagine if you and your family immigrated to India, then you had some trouble with your dad and suddenly you are faced with a similar choice.. either follow with the plan or be on your own in a foreign country! ...Add to it another layer of difficulty that the OP is simply wired to be attached to family life and family structure.. unlike here in North America were people are rather expected to leave the nest and be independent. (nobody can comment in a meaningful academic manner on which way of life is better.. this is something humanity will understand in a few hundred years probably)
 
MagicDrumSticks said:
Hmm you know guys, I was thinking about this earlier, someone please help me answer it.

Ok so, since my dad has been such an ******* to me since childhood, saying Doctor this and Doctor that. Maybe I DO like it but just don't want to do it because I don't want to make HIM win. So? What do I do about that?
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man, I'm surprised this thread has stayed alive this long, a parallel in allo died a while ago (turning into an argument about what's the best type of engineering :laugh:)

as to whether you are just not liking the idea of med b/c of your parents, possibly. Although my parents are not NEARLY as bad as yours (when I hear stories like yours, I thank god for my relatively extremely tolerant (of my foibles) and freedom-loving Indian parents), I did have a definite push to pursue med after I finished high school. I wanted to do poli-sci. I crashed and burned in my pre-med prereqs, did well in poli-sci, got into public policy school; my dad grumbled a little but let me go.

Then, guess what, I ended up back in the med school path. And now my parents think it's too expensive, and hearing how my friends out of law school (at top-ranked schools, granted) are making six-figures. lol.

As I said before, your parents will come around when you tell them you don't need them. And you've not talked much about your mom through this whole thing - I'm assuming you're male, but even then, moms can really be a blessing in this process - talk to her more, and get her involved.
 
this whole daddy pushing me into medicine thing is making us Asians look bad.

I even had an adcom ask me if I truely went into medicine as my own interest.

Well, might just ask a black guy why about his habit with fried chicken.

The stereotype is killing me.
 
Handy388 said:
I even had an adcom ask me if I truely went into medicine as my own interest.
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You sure you weren't just looking more into that question than the interviewer intended? I'm sure they ask a LOT of people that exact same question at interviews, regardless of racial or ethnic background.
 
Handy388 said:
this whole daddy pushing me into medicine thing is making us Asians look bad.

I even had an adcom ask me if I truely went into medicine as my own interest.

Well, might just ask a black guy why about his habit with fried chicken.

The stereotype is killing me.
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Stereotypes do come from somewhere. While of course not all Asian parents force their children into medicine or engineering, MANY do. More than non-Asian parents.
 
look at it this way OP... you pay for college on your own to do what you want, it's a mound of debt. you pay for med school on your own to do what your dad wants, it's a mound of debt. either way you're fcked. stop whining.
 
Um, HI, we need to meet sometime. You are EXACTLY in the same boat I am. I am Indian also, and I have been fighting with my father for the past month about me not wanting to become a doctor.

One good thing about Indian parents is that they don't know what's going on in college. They look at your grades, BUT, they don't look at or understand what classes you are taking. Especially if they've just moved to America from India. So do what I did, act like you're taking pre-med classes, and sign up for pre-dent/pre-pharm prerequisite classes while you're in college. Your father is paying, you don't need to take out a loan, and he'll never know.

I fought with my father for the past year, because I didn't and still do not want to become a doctor. However, I looked into other options in the healthcare field and decided on pharmacy. My only major mistake was that I did not decide what I wanted to go into until my last year of college, and by this time, it was too late to fulfill all of the pre-requisites for pharmacy school. I completed some during my final spring semester, and I am currently going back in the fall to complete the rest of them. I am currently applying to pharm school.

The best thing you can do is to decide AS SOON AS YOU CAN what field you really want to go into, then go and take those classes, act like you're pre-med so that you are not in financial debt and to get your father off your back. Then, take the MCAT (yeah it costs 200 bucks and you're going to feel bad for wasting your father's money, but you gotta do what you gotta do), and take any other exam you need to get into the school of your choice (whether its the PCAT, DAT, etc). Then, apply while your dad is still paying, find a way to take out loans for whatever grad school you decide (because honestly, your father sounds like mine, and he probably won't help that much when it comes to paying for medical school since it is ridiculously expensive, and you will have to take out a loan anyway), and then just GO. Don't look back, and you might feel a little guilty for wasting your father's money for taking the MCAT, but just do it. Take it from me.

Now, whatever field you do decide to go into, just make sure you're serious about it. Start acing those pre-requisite courses, and make sure you rape whatever exam you need to take for the grad school. Show him you're worthwhile and not a complete **** up because you didn't want to do medical school.

My dad says the same thing, he doesn't need my money, he simply just wants me to become a doctor for the money so that I am happy later in life. Just ignore the others in this forum; your father is not an evil person and he's not trying to hurt you. You have to understand, your father is from India, where they see poverty every single day of their life (I'm sure you have seen all the beggars on the street). Your father truly does want to see you happy, and he wants you to have that financial security and job security that the doctor profession offers. He may not say this, probably because he doesn't know how to convey this. But it's true. And when you're Indian, the only professions you know are doctors and engineering, because that is what all the other sons/daughters of their friends are doing. Pharmacy/dentistry/whatever health field is a novel idea to him, and he doesn't understand why you would want to go into those fields. He doesn't understand what is so great about those fields, so you will have to persuade him and show him that its something you really love. I tried to show my father this, but I have given up now. Keep trying though. He is your father though, and he loves you, and the least you can do is to show him respect and explain to him this is what you want to do.

Financially...I say, take out loans. I just took out a loan through FAFSA, and since my parents will not co-sign any loans, I had to contact my financial aid office at my school, and they told me to bring a note that said my parents would not support me at all. However, I am still considered a dependent, but I did recieve $4,000 per semester and have about $400 left to cover. I will probably apply through Sallie Mae or something to cover what I need to cover. And jobwise, I say, networking is your best bet. Talk to your friends, a lot of them can help you in surprising ways. I have, but I may have to end up doing two jobs to make ends meet (being a Hostess at a restaurant, and tutoring others), and know that while life is going to be hard, make sure this is what you really want to do, and don't just quit because life is hard. My dad cut me off completely, and didn't even give me a car. It sucks really bad. BUT, if you're determined, you will find a way.

Good luck, and PM me if you have any additional questions. I'm really glad someone else is in my same boat -- it definitely helps knowing I'm not the only one.
 
^^^^ sounds passive aggressive. talk it out like a man, man.
 
So... aren't pre-dent/pre-pharm requirements almost identical to pre-med?
 
Wow....and here my parents (yes, Asian too) are telling me to choose finance or IT over medicine.

I think in the end it depends on what you think it most important...happiness (are you willing to do something that may make you miserable and bored everyday?) vs. money vs. a lot of other things that come with the career. You need to realize that you'll be doing this FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Plus, there're are a lot of jobs that make money...I mean, I don't think you'd live on the streets if you took up a job in computer/eng. Your interests now can lead you to very well-paying jobs IMO.

As for now...if you don't want to take a job/loan, the best thing to do is find a major that suits both your interests and let him pay. Or tell him your #1 priority is med school, and actually put your effort towards what you really want. I mean, 1) he probably hasn't done his research abt what med school requires, 2) least he'll know you giving some attention to that field, 3) if you don't get in...well....I mean....he can't kill you...right?

Or tell him you're deathly afraid of blood and needles. :D
 
haha this cracks me up, please grow up man. I'm Indian, yes I do understand the education pressure but really think about this....you have to stand up to your father and go find what your passionate about.....if it's in medicine or not. You just have to have a civil conversation and explain what your passions are and that your grown up and need to make your decisions.

Main problem I see with Asian parents is they've worked their a**** off trying to get to America so they deem it necessary to force their children to do well and have prestigious titles in society. The fact of the matter is you can do anything in America and still be successful and that's hard for immigrant parents to understand. Sorry man but you're going to have to put all the cards on the table and stand your ground because soon or later it will catch up to you.
 
TopSecret said:
Indeed.

I love that movie. :) Go to 7:39. It's one of the classic scenes.

[YOUTUBE]ghBElNA4pzU[/YOUTUBE]
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"We need marijuana now! Like, a big bag of it.":laugh::laugh:

Dude, do what you want. I'd tell my parents I was going premed, take the premed classes and MCAT, apply to a few schools senior year, then get rejected and go on with life. Simple as that.
 
I refuse to read the 3 pages this thread has accumulated. But from your first post and the title I say grow the hell up. Fill out the FAFSA, take out a loan and move the hell on with life. I seriously don’t think your father is going to disown you if you wont follow his dreams.

This is just sounds like the stereotypical rich kid that is mad because daddy planned his future...
 
Part of the reason why, after two college degrees, I'm going further into debt to do a pre-med post-bacc is because there are lots of jobs you can get with a science degree and lots of paths I can take from here.

Complete all the coursework; don't tell your dad you don't want to go into medicine. Finish up the science degree and then... take loans to get your grad degree, or go straight into lab work, or whatever! It's not like he can rescind your diploma after you graduate. :p
 
Indian dad? You're screwed. Just go along with whatever he says and once you find what you like, take a sharp turn and go from there. Or you can actually explore the medical field and who knows, you might find you like it. Either way, I understand where you're coming from. The best situation is to just let your dad talk while you find your way around for yourself. This is America, not the villages and ghettos of India. Good luck dude. :thumbup:
 
TopSecret said:
Immigrant families usually have no support other than their immediate family members.

Being disowned as an immigrant is like being an orphan. You have no one to turn to but yourself and your friends.
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Exactly. Hey I noticed you're an attending. How is Medical school sir? Can I grow to like it?
 
Poliscidoc said:
I refuse to read the 3 pages this thread has accumulated. But from your first post and the title I say grow the hell up. Fill out the FAFSA, take out a loan and move the hell on with life. I seriously don’t think your father is going to disown you if you wont follow his dreams.

This is just sounds like the stereotypical rich kid that is mad because daddy planned his future...
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I'm sorry but I'm not going to let you talk to me like that without you "refusing to read the thread" Why don't your read some of the clarifications I've posted before assuming things?
 
DeadliestSnatch said:
First of all, I do have pride in my words. Lots of pride. Because unlike you, I'm not a puppet and I'm going my own way in life.

You are a child.

I don't lose respect for people who actually can't change their circumstances. You have plenty of options; you just don't want to do anything because it's toooooo hard. Cry me a freaking river. The only reason you care about your family "disowning" you is because you don't want to lose access to daddy's precious money. It's hilarious that you've drawn a comparison to living in poverty, considering the fact that I actually, you know, HAVE. And your situation is NOTHING compared to poverty.

Why did you even post here? The overwhelming majority of advice you've received has said essentially the same thing: get a job, work/take out loans, pay for school yourself, and grow up. Yet, you've shot down every helpful suggestion that anyone has offered. You just wanted an audience to whine to, and now you're pissy because I'm not shedding a tear for you. Poor baby.

Your posts are vomit-worthy. You have "no choice?" Are you ****ing serious? Here, let me help you out:

Main Entry: choice
Pronunciation: \&#712;ch&#559;is\
Function: noun

1 : the act of choosing : selection <finding it hard to make a choice>
2 : power of choosing : option <you have no choice>
3 : a number and variety to choose among <a plan with a wide choice of options>
4 : care in selecting

You'd be alone? No one to lean on? Sucks for you, but that still doesn't mean you have "no choice." I don't think you understand the concept of choice. There is no gun to your head. No one is forcing you to be a doctor. You don't get to sit here and play victim and tell everyone that you have no choice in life just because you're too lazy to do things the way everyone else does.

You can make it about race all you want, but all that does is prove what a flaming idiot you are. People of all backgrounds and nationalities are pushed by their parents into careers that they don't really want. It has absolutely nothing to do with being Asian, but that's an easy to way to just end the argument, isn't it? "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE MY FAMILY IS ASIAN."

So, here, I'll summarize your posts for everyone tuning in now: whine whine whine. Sob sob sob. I'm too much of a tool to stand up to daddy and I want you to feel sorry for me! Why don't you all feel sorry for me?!+pity+
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Calm down Angry Hitler. You don't think I've thought of all the common sense advice you just gave? Why do you think I came here in the first place? It seems that you're not at peace with yourself and maybe you should go out and take a ****ing chill pill. Please don't post here again as you're not helping and frankly just pissing me off.
 
achop2 said:
Um, HI, we need to meet sometime. You are EXACTLY in the same boat I am. I am Indian also, and I have been fighting with my father for the past month about me not wanting to become a doctor.

One good thing about Indian parents is that they don't know what's going on in college. They look at your grades, BUT, they don't look at or understand what classes you are taking. Especially if they've just moved to America from India. So do what I did, act like you're taking pre-med classes, and sign up for pre-dent/pre-pharm prerequisite classes while you're in college. Your father is paying, you don't need to take out a loan, and he'll never know.

I fought with my father for the past year, because I didn't and still do not want to become a doctor. However, I looked into other options in the healthcare field and decided on pharmacy. My only major mistake was that I did not decide what I wanted to go into until my last year of college, and by this time, it was too late to fulfill all of the pre-requisites for pharmacy school. I completed some during my final spring semester, and I am currently going back in the fall to complete the rest of them. I am currently applying to pharm school.

The best thing you can do is to decide AS SOON AS YOU CAN what field you really want to go into, then go and take those classes, act like you're pre-med so that you are not in financial debt and to get your father off your back. Then, take the MCAT (yeah it costs 200 bucks and you're going to feel bad for wasting your father's money, but you gotta do what you gotta do), and take any other exam you need to get into the school of your choice (whether its the PCAT, DAT, etc). Then, apply while your dad is still paying, find a way to take out loans for whatever grad school you decide (because honestly, your father sounds like mine, and he probably won't help that much when it comes to paying for medical school since it is ridiculously expensive, and you will have to take out a loan anyway), and then just GO. Don't look back, and you might feel a little guilty for wasting your father's money for taking the MCAT, but just do it. Take it from me.

Now, whatever field you do decide to go into, just make sure you're serious about it. Start acing those pre-requisite courses, and make sure you rape whatever exam you need to take for the grad school. Show him you're worthwhile and not a complete **** up because you didn't want to do medical school.

My dad says the same thing, he doesn't need my money, he simply just wants me to become a doctor for the money so that I am happy later in life. Just ignore the others in this forum; your father is not an evil person and he's not trying to hurt you. You have to understand, your father is from India, where they see poverty every single day of their life (I'm sure you have seen all the beggars on the street). Your father truly does want to see you happy, and he wants you to have that financial security and job security that the doctor profession offers. He may not say this, probably because he doesn't know how to convey this. But it's true. And when you're Indian, the only professions you know are doctors and engineering, because that is what all the other sons/daughters of their friends are doing. Pharmacy/dentistry/whatever health field is a novel idea to him, and he doesn't understand why you would want to go into those fields. He doesn't understand what is so great about those fields, so you will have to persuade him and show him that its something you really love. I tried to show my father this, but I have given up now. Keep trying though. He is your father though, and he loves you, and the least you can do is to show him respect and explain to him this is what you want to do.

Financially...I say, take out loans. I just took out a loan through FAFSA, and since my parents will not co-sign any loans, I had to contact my financial aid office at my school, and they told me to bring a note that said my parents would not support me at all. However, I am still considered a dependent, but I did recieve $4,000 per semester and have about $400 left to cover. I will probably apply through Sallie Mae or something to cover what I need to cover. And jobwise, I say, networking is your best bet. Talk to your friends, a lot of them can help you in surprising ways. I have, but I may have to end up doing two jobs to make ends meet (being a Hostess at a restaurant, and tutoring others), and know that while life is going to be hard, make sure this is what you really want to do, and don't just quit because life is hard. My dad cut me off completely, and didn't even give me a car. It sucks really bad. BUT, if you're determined, you will find a way.

Good luck, and PM me if you have any additional questions. I'm really glad someone else is in my same boat -- it definitely helps knowing I'm not the only one.
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Hell yes we need to meet! Wow it's like I was predicting what you would write next! But yeah, the main problem is I don't know WHAT else to switch to. I'm not really that *great* at anything in particular except maybe Video games haha. But yeah, I have no idea on what to switch to. Why did you decide to go pharm route anyway? Was it like me where you just said "Well since I'm going health care then I might as well do something not quite as hard a med but still something with good cash and job security"
 
MagicDrumSticks said:
I knew this day would come, after a huge fight with my father about how me becomming a doctor is his dream and not mine, he has stated abruptly that he won't pay for my college if I don't go into medicine.

Now since I have no choice and nowhere to go, I want to pick an easier pre-professional major that makes good money. Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.

I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE
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Didn't read whole thread, so this might have been suggested already:

Commit to medicine. Go to college. Do poorly. Crap the MCAT. Get rejected. Yay.
 
MagicDrumSticks said:
Calm down Angry Hitler. You don't think I've thought of all the common sense advice you just gave? Why do you think I came here in the first place? It seems that you're not at peace with yourself and maybe you should go out and take a ****ing chill pill. Please don't post here again as you're not helping and frankly just pissing me off.
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whoa there son. check yourself...
 
Just do whatever it is that you wan't to do... Just waisted 45 min. of my life reading this SDN version of "The Hills"... Stop bitching and be a man, man up and move on...
 
MagicDrumSticks said:
Calm down Angry Hitler. You don't think I've thought of all the common sense advice you just gave? Why do you think I came here in the first place? It seems that you're not at peace with yourself and maybe you should go out and take a ****ing chill pill. Please don't post here again as you're not helping and frankly just pissing me off.
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Nice comeback! :laugh:
 
MagicDrumSticks said:
Hell yes we need to meet! Wow it's like I was predicting what you would write next! But yeah, the main problem is I don't know WHAT else to switch to. I'm not really that *great* at anything in particular except maybe Video games haha. But yeah, I have no idea on what to switch to. Why did you decide to go pharm route anyway? Was it like me where you just said "Well since I'm going health care then I might as well do something not quite as hard a med but still something with good cash and job security"
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Well, initially, that was the reason. I knew I wanted to go into healthcare, because I want a job that will work with people and help them. I have volunteered quite a bit throughout my life and I like the satisfaction of helping others. However, the reason I got into pharmacy is because I actually enjoy organic chemistry. I find it interesting how medications react with the body and how they interact with other medications we take. I want to know why we take the medications we do; I don't want to just diagnose. Buuut thats me, and my reason :)

Do you like teeth? I personally hate them, but I do love seeing a nice smile. Or do you like Ochem? What else in science do you really see yourself doing?
 
slowbutsteady said:
Commit to medicine. Go to college. Do poorly. Crap the MCAT. Get rejected. Yay.
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OP, I think the advice of the number of people telling you to screw up your MCAT is absolutely ridiculous. For you to waste your parents' money by intentionally messing up in school is a complete insult and disrespect to them. Don't even think of going that route.

The most honorable thing for you to do would be to simply tell your father that you have no intention of going into medicine the next time he brings the issue up. Stay strong and don't give in to his pressure. Even though he might be angry initially - in the long run he will respect you more later for showing that you are an adult who makes your own choices, instead of always bending to his every demand. It's your life, and you have to do what is best for you. And yes, if this makes any difference to you, my family is also Indian, and my situation previously had some similarities to yours. If you don't stand up for yourself now, then you also won't respect yourself much later. I can only imagine your own confidence takes a hit by not being adult enough to make your own choices. Stop being so helpless and choose the path that you decide. It's a perfectly good idea to get a job, and if it means you take an easier course load and get done in 5 years instead of 4 - that's perfectly fine too.

The important thing is to do things on your own terms. You may find out you are much more passionate about another field, and that's great. Or you might be like myself and pursue something else, only to realize just how good medicine is for you - and you may come back to medicine wholeheartedly. I chose the latter, as I pursued another related health field only to realize how much I really wanted to be a physician. Even though going this alternate route 'wasted' some years of my life, I have no regrets - as 5 years ago I was ambivalent about being a doctor, but now I am 100% sure. So my pursuing my own heart didn't fail me.... even though the path I chose initially wasn't the right one, I still needed to do it to realize what was ultimately best for me. You can't go into medicine half-heartedly.

Respect your father enough not to waste his money by pretending to be pursuing a medical career or by doing poorly in your coursework. Respect yourself enough to realize that you deserve to pick a field that suits your personality, and work your butt off to make it happen. If your family gets angry - fine - they'll come around later once they see you successful at something that you really love to do. I suspect that deep down it isn't medicine that your father really cares about, but he probably wants to see his son well-off and successful (qualities which he associates with medicine as a career). If your family is like mine, they immigrated to the US with limited resources, and the idea of their kids growing up poor scares the heck out of them. So even though you don't need to go into medicine, find something that you like and can be really good at. If he sees you successful as a business person, engineer, lawyer or whatever else in the future - he may soften up later. Ultimately you don't need his approval or the approval of anyone, though I understand that it feels good to have it.

It seems like you are going through a dilemma of whether it is better to be 'respected' or 'loved'. On one hand, it seems that if you choose a career that you really like and are successful at it, maybe someday your family will respect you for that. On the other hand, if you bow down to their wishes and become a doctor, you may think that you will sacrifice respect to be loved by them. But I don't think the choice is so simple - because respect is a foundation for love... so if your family only loves you because you cave into their demands, then that really isn't loving you in the true sense.

Getting a job and following your heart is the only decision that I can imagine myself doing, and one that I did make when I was in a similar place as you were. You may end up coming back to medicine as I did with a passion, or you may find something else that suits you much better. I think you will be much prouder of yourself in the long run as well. Your parents are just living in a fear-mentality, and can't see out of that box. Live the life that you can respect yourself for. I think you are in a state of learned helplessness right now and paralyzed by your desire for their approval, but it's important to break free of that even if it causes you initial discomfort.
 
achop2 said:
Well, initially, that was the reason. I knew I wanted to go into healthcare, because I want a job that will work with people and help them. I have volunteered quite a bit throughout my life and I like the satisfaction of helping others. However, the reason I got into pharmacy is because I actually enjoy organic chemistry. I find it interesting how medications react with the body and how they interact with other medications we take. I want to know why we take the medications we do; I don't want to just diagnose. Buuut thats me, and my reason :)

Do you like teeth? I personally hate them, but I do love seeing a nice smile. Or do you like Ochem? What else in science do you really see yourself doing?
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Idk my friends always say I suck for not really having a "desire" to do anything. I just want a good job that can make my decent money and will let me live my life.
 
Its always about money....

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a janitor. I worked as a janitor and i found my coworkers were WAY happier than the upper management we cleaned for, who are all very cutthroat battling for "prestige" and money. Money isn't happiness....HAPPINESS is happiness, you're gonna work your ass off all week long just to have enough money to do the things you love on the weekend...which you'll find you'll be too tired to do? what the hell is the point?
 
I think you should just lie to your dad and say you are premed, but study what you want to. Then when you graduate with your [fully paid] education, just tell him it wasn't for you. What is he gonna do, take your degree back? BAHAAHAHHAHA

But seriously, don't get into medicine if you don't have a passion for it. You may become an outcast by your family initially, but they will all get over it, then you can live a happy life. Live for yourself, not others!
 
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