For nontraditional students who are women and went into medical school single...what was your experience like dating during post bacc or medical school? Did you find it hard to balance with the time commitment, or that men were turned off by the fact that you were in school?
Dating as a nontrad
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I think it is a lot easier for women to date in general. lol Same in medical schools. My older male students, however, have a much tougher time. But things change for them after they graduate, i.e. hot nurses. lol
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Hmm, I don't really date. I just feel like I'm too darn busy to give someone the time they deserve. That's just me though, while I was working fulltime nights, going to grad school in a city almost two hours away, among other things. Now that I'm off nights I've got a bit more free time, so now my biggest problem is that I'm a bit on the shy side.
So, I think the answer is going to depend on your schedule, priorities, and personality.
So, I think the answer is going to depend on your schedule, priorities, and personality.
QofQuimica
Seriously, dude, I think you're overreacting....
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Priorities definitely change as you get older, and I think it's also different if you know you don't want kids and/or don't care about getting married versus if you're looking to start a family. There is just a lot less pressure to find someone if you're not looking for marriage/family. I also think it's helpful if you find a guy who has a demanding job (or some other major demand on his life and time such as kids or hobbies) so that he isn't waiting around on you to entertain him when he has time off.
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I don't think many men are going to be turned off by the fact that you're in medical school. Quite the opposite, probably. I have several friends that married female medical students, and they're very proud of it. Of course you don't want a guy that's going to have a ton of free time to sit around and miss your presence. Any kind of professional guy should make a good match, or even another medical student.
If you're worried about money, it's generally not an issue. Guys like being the provider/protector, and they'll know you're a wise long-term investment anyway.
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Interesting thread topic. I find myself in a peculiar predicament; older than the average traditional student again living on a college student's budget, trying to stretch my savings through completion of my post-bacc... Its definitely complicated my dating life since becoming single; it may have even contributed to becoming single again. I just wasn't able to afford the common luxuries I was before paying for school and putting my business income on hold. Anyway, I've found dating to be difficult, though not impossible as a non-trad (male) student. Both time and money are the issues, however, most candidates are rather receptive and supportive of my ambitions.
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yea, how is it for male 28-29 year old Step 1s? Will other lady med students be attracted, or is the real dating pool the undergrads at the bar nearby?
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As a non trad male, I was thoroughly turned off by the idea of dating within med school. I've already suffered through a marriage where we both did the same kinds of stuff and were semi-competitive with each other. It sucked.
I found a non-trad non-medical girl at the local undergrad, and it's been awesome. Like happily married, 2.5 kids, building a little family where everybody has their unique role to contribute kind of awesome.
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Lars introduced me to the perfect girlfriend a year before I graduated from my PhD program... We've been going strong ever since. She doesn't seek attention, is a great listener, very patient, is happy whereever I lay her down and is great all around, and I am pretty sure she will get me through med school. 
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She doesn't seek attention, is a great listener, very patient, is happy whereever I lay her down and is great all around, and I am pretty sure she will get me through med school.
Is she a paperweight??
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Seriously. Wtf did I even just read.
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I think he's making a joke about the movie "Lars and The Real Girl". The "girl" was a blow-up doll, if I remember correctly. So yeah, pretty much a paperweight.
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You just called a "RealDoll" a blowup paperweight!
Seriously, I don't expect to date anyone "real" because it is not going to be fair on them, nor the path I am on.
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As a soon to be non-trad 28 y/o single male about to start his pre-med reqs, I have actually found myself pondering this as well. Im so nervous that all of my peers will remain 8-10 years younger throughout the entire process, but realistically believe/hope that I will find at least a few I can relate with (around my age/career changers).
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I have some friends who have tried dating in medical school...
three couples are going to get married, they helped each other study, were not competitive, and used each other as support through rough patches.
Then there's one other couple, they started dating in 2nd year, started off as friends, blah blah, seemed like it would be great until rotations started and the guy couldn't spend enough time with the GF... so she broke up with him because she was mad he was stressed about rotations and didn't have as much time for her...
It can go whatever way you want in med school, certainly not impossible to date another student and have it work out, but it can blow up in your face.
As for women finding men, yes there are men who will be endlessly intimidated by your future career. AVOID THEM. They will be the guys who undermine your efforts and try to talk down to you. Then there are guys that will say 'I found me a hot sugar mama, woot'... Those are the ones who will appreciate you and aren't intimidated by your success. They will likely be men who have solid educations in science, like engineers, research scientists, etc... And don't worry, there are hot male nurses too
three couples are going to get married, they helped each other study, were not competitive, and used each other as support through rough patches.
Then there's one other couple, they started dating in 2nd year, started off as friends, blah blah, seemed like it would be great until rotations started and the guy couldn't spend enough time with the GF... so she broke up with him because she was mad he was stressed about rotations and didn't have as much time for her...
It can go whatever way you want in med school, certainly not impossible to date another student and have it work out, but it can blow up in your face.
As for women finding men, yes there are men who will be endlessly intimidated by your future career. AVOID THEM. They will be the guys who undermine your efforts and try to talk down to you. Then there are guys that will say 'I found me a hot sugar mama, woot'... Those are the ones who will appreciate you and aren't intimidated by your success. They will likely be men who have solid educations in science, like engineers, research scientists, etc... And don't worry, there are hot male nurses too
I think its harder to date given the fact that you are older than most students, also because graduate schools have more strict codes with regards to student conduct compared to undergraduate, I think its a very risky proposition to date fellow students or other members of the school community.
Its always better to try to meet people outside of school, but given the amount of time most students spend in school, this is a very uphill pursuit.
Dating people your own age can also be an issue because you are a student and not earning any kind of income.
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Preface n = 1, and I didn't read but thought I would share my observations of my friends/classmates.
All the older guys in my class can find dates all the time (match.com, bars, etc). They have no issues since their clocks aren't ticking, in addition to the fact that a future doctor is a hot commodity. Nurses and drug reps DROOOOOOOL over the male med students at my institution (and I bet that is universal).
All the older girls in my class have a harder time since there is more pressure on them, and while its certainly anecdotal they usually have higher expectations. Further, in some of the busier residency programs that I have rotated with, most of the girls are single or in fleeting relationships, meanwhile all the guys are married. Some of the cushier programs (FM) the ladies are engaged.
The interclass relationships are usually rocky but some stick it out and are even long distance. I can't imagine the stress of having to couples match, see each other at random times, etc.
For me personally, I recommend and have enjoyed being with someone not in the medical field and has a life outside of me. She understands I am busy, but is committed to having a healthy relationship. When I come home, I like to hear about her day and am thankful its not about more patients.
Lastly, there is PLENTY of time to have a relationship and date outside of medicine. Certainly the early part of residency will be hectic but if you don't make time for stuff, like a relationship, outside of medicine you will burn out.
All the older guys in my class can find dates all the time (match.com, bars, etc). They have no issues since their clocks aren't ticking, in addition to the fact that a future doctor is a hot commodity. Nurses and drug reps DROOOOOOOL over the male med students at my institution (and I bet that is universal).
All the older girls in my class have a harder time since there is more pressure on them, and while its certainly anecdotal they usually have higher expectations. Further, in some of the busier residency programs that I have rotated with, most of the girls are single or in fleeting relationships, meanwhile all the guys are married. Some of the cushier programs (FM) the ladies are engaged.
The interclass relationships are usually rocky but some stick it out and are even long distance. I can't imagine the stress of having to couples match, see each other at random times, etc.
For me personally, I recommend and have enjoyed being with someone not in the medical field and has a life outside of me. She understands I am busy, but is committed to having a healthy relationship. When I come home, I like to hear about her day and am thankful its not about more patients.
Lastly, there is PLENTY of time to have a relationship and date outside of medicine. Certainly the early part of residency will be hectic but if you don't make time for stuff, like a relationship, outside of medicine you will burn out.
