Well, I do think my knowledge is lacking a bit, but I feel up to par with the other interns (scored above average of what the intern class scored in my residency). I do have difficulty applying those concepts at times.
Another reason, which ties in with my application problem, is that I was a horrible medical student, not that I got bad grades, but I was a good test taker. I don't think I studied more than 1 day for any exam, not did I go to class unless it was mandatory (labs mainly). So I practically crammed for every test, them I would just dump the knowledge when the next test came. Even for my boards, when doing UWorld, i was getting about 25% initially, so i crammed for 3-4 weeks and ended up passing (similar sorry for step 1 and 2). Then during my 3rd and 4th year, I basically choose the easiest rotations I could find, further making me a worse medical student. For example, my medicine month consisted of me going to nursing homes, about 2-3x/wk, for 1-3hrs at a time. My family practice rotation was from 9-12 M-Thurs. Surgery was opthomology. I did have some tough months, but it was pretty limited to cardio and surgery months. That's about it.
So basically, I started intern year with the knowledge of a beginning third year. I feel I've caught up in knowledge with my peers during intern year, but the change in me occurred too late (all faculty chooses whether your ready or not for 2nd year, my most recent ones said I was ready, and the ones I rotated with early didn't think I was ready. Votes went towards me not being ready).
Although I hate the situation I'm in, I feel responsible for digging myself in this hole...
