Going Back

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.

membracidae

New Member
10+ Year Member
Joined
Aug 27, 2012
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Hey guys,

I've lurked for years and its finally my time to reach out and ask for advice. I completed my first year of vet school. Then, I took a year off to figure out if it was right for me. Basically, I felt pretty depressed and discouraged half way through the second semester. I did my best to finish so I could come back and not repeat year 1 if I could help it. It was hard to watch my roommates/classmates seen much more passionate about it than me. I think the social part of the program in general was the biggest problem. I didn't enjoy hanging out with my classmates, and felt very isolated whenever I hung out with them. So, the source of relief for a lot of people (from what I've read on here) has been a huge issue for me. The competitiveness was also a source of anxiety. It wasn't even overt competiti0n. Just listening to my classmates talk about how much studying they have to do or how much studying they've already done was enough to rattle me.

I just wanted some last minute opinions on if I should go back or not. As of now, I am enrolled but I am considering pulling myself out (I have until July 1). I am just unsure of my decision. If I go back and join the other class I will have a new opportunity to make better friends, or rather stay solo which I think would help me. But I'm not sure if it is enough. I don't want to get half way through the semester and just not have it in me to finish again...

Thoughts? :(

Members don't see this ad.
 
From what you describe it seems i have had many of the same feelings. I will try and give my advice although I am still in my first year of vet school. I really think that you are ultimately the only one who can decide if you should go back or not. I do understand your struggle though since I am also struggling with the social aspect of my program. I have also realized I don't need to be a social person because that's just not me. If you aren't very social I think that is ok. I myself have found a few good friends (and I literally mean 3) that I spend time with but they get together all of the time to study. I choose not to study with them and do so on my own. I think you need to find something for yourself other than school that you can do by yourself. I have been told to do this and I'm still trying to figure it out. If being a veterinarian is truly what you want I don't think you should give it up but you do have to find a balance for yourself and whatever works. If you are happy with the way you are performing then you shouldn't let the studying others do affect you. I understand that too because a couple of my close friends are very competitive. After every test they talk about answers and I have found the best thing for me is to walk away and be alone or with other people not talking about it. If it makes you feel uncomfortable to listen to others talk about studying find people to be around that aren't so consumed by it. I know it's tough to balance this all out and maybe that's why I spend the majority of my time alone but I usually did before anyway. I hope this helps. I know it isn't easy what you're going through.
 
I don't mean to be intrusive, but do you think it could be depression? It couldn't hurt to talk to your doctor or a therapist. You're going to be be in social environments no matter the field you're in. If in your heart of hearts you want to be a veterinarian, don't let this obstacle stop you. I'd hate for you to regret dropping out, especially if it's due to depression that can be treated with therapy, support groups, etc.

Best of luck and remember, you are not alone.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
You are not alone in feeling this way in vet school.

As much as I love some of my classmates, I rarely hang out with them outside of school or club stuff. And for me that's the perfect amount. We see each other enough in our 8 hours of lecture 5 days a week, even living with a fellow vet student prooved to be too much time around each other. That being said, I also am going to vet school in the same metro area that I've lived in the previous 4 years before vet school, and already have a pretty solid social base of non-vet school people to rely on.

Don't internalize anything anyone else says about how much they're studying. Seriously, I have classmates who claim they go home and sit and study for hours directly after class, and rewrite all of their notes, make flashcards, read the notes aloud, etc and so on. I have classmates who have a 4.0 and fight to keep it. BUT I also have classmates who are okay with "just" passing the classes and only study for the test the next day (and these are not necessarily the same people). And then there's me: study a few days before the test, hopefully have attended or watched all of the lectures beforehand, and shoot for an even mix of A's and B's, enough to keep me in the running for a residency but not so much that I never have time to be a real person. You just have to figure out what works for you, and then stick with it. Ignore what everyone else is doing, unless you need advice for how to change something up.

Finally, take advantage of your schools counseling (if they have any). I am totally a hypocrite saying this because I never seem to find the time to do so, but it really can be a great resource.
 
Thanks for your advice CandyVet. It is comforting to know people get by with less social interaction. Of course, in school all you see is people socializing so it's a lot harder to realize there are people like you out there. If I go back, I will definitely take a page out of your book.

femmedusiecle -- I wasn't diagnosed with depression, but that is what I felt like I had. I stopped studying and had very little interest in my course work. At the time I remember feeling a lot of hatred for the people that surrounded me. So much, that I wanted nothing to do with them/vet med. I was in therapy briefly, and should have stuck with it longer but didn't. My counselor was the one who helped me decide to take the year off. But, I could no longer be counseled by her when I left school, so annoying!

kcoughli - Internalizing everything is my biggest weakness. I really have a hard time separating myself from other people and not taking everything to heart. I will definitely have to work on it. I also have a great support system in the city I go to school in. My family is an hour away and I have friends from childhood and college in the city. I think this time around, I won't rely on vet school friends as much as my lifelong friends.

Finally, you have all told me to continue studying vet med if it is your life's passion. It is hard for me to know with certainty that it is where I belong. I have said (and had people agree with me) that if I chose a different school (with no friends attending) that I would still be in school. Also, a lot of people on this site do not recommend vet med to people who can imagine themselves happy elsewhere. I think I can imagine myself reasonably happy in other pays, but I can imagine myself happy in vet med. It is hard to know which feelings are more genuine.

Anyway, thanks for helping me. Even just writing out this response has been eye opening and relieving for me... I have quite a decision. Thanks!!!
 
You are definitely not alone and I know what you mean by all you see is people socializing. Sometimes it is difficult for me too but I realize I am not social so it's ok to be different. By the way, I too suffer from depression so I know the challenge you face while being in vet school so you're not alone in that either. One other thing I wanted to touch on was that you said you can see yourself happy elsewhere other than vet med. Before coming to vet school I tried something else because I thought I didn't want to be a vet anymore. I wasn't happy with it. Although I wouldn't change the experience or the tremendous knowledge I gained, I know something other than vet med would not fit right. I only know this because I tried something else. What you may have to do is find something to try. Ask yourself what else you'd be interested in and do it. This might be the only way you can figure it out. And it's ok if you don't go back to school. In the end you have to be happy
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 user
If you still feel like vet med is the profession you want to be in, go back. You said you have a good support system - use it. Also perhaps seeing a counselor or therapist to help work out any issues and work on not internalizing.

No one can make the decision but you. But if you want to be a vet, just remember the end goal of vet school is to become a vet. The socialization isn't required (though you should at least try - you're going to need to rely on each other in clinical year to a certain extent - need to at least have a professional relationship with your peers).
 
I think the social part of the program in general was the biggest problem. I didn't enjoy hanging out with my classmates, and felt very isolated whenever I hung out with them.
As someone who went through something similar in undergrad, I'd encourage you to seek out counselling if you have access to it (easier said than done, I know). I had a very hard time connecting to my classmates and resented my close friend/roommate for being in a relationship. I suffered from pretty bad social anxiety and was almost totally withdrawn. Counselling didn't totally fix it, but it helped.

Just listening to my classmates talk about how much studying they have to do or how much studying they've already done was enough to rattle me.

As others have said, ignore this. Everyone is different. Without staring over their shoulder, you have no idea how much other people are actually studying. Someone who says they studied for 6 hours last night might have been actually studying for 2 hours and dinking around on their phone for the other 4. But they had a book open, so it's studying, right? Some people study a little every night, some people cram all-nighters the night before an exam. I always tended to keep my mouth shut about studying because while everyone else was lamenting how little sleep they got ("I was up until 2, and then got up at 5 to cram!"), I'd quit studying about 9 and go to bed at 10, and certainly didn't get up early to study. As long as your method is working for you, try to relax about it.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide. I would say if you still have a passion for vet med, then try to get help for your problems and anxieties and try to stick it out. If you don't still have that passion, then there's no shame in pulling out and making the right call for your mental health.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 user
Respectfully, for a moment lets not think about labels like depression and the criteria for depression, who is qualified to diagnose depression, etc. When I find myself withdrawin socially, when I find myself getting annoyed by little things that I know should not (and normally do not) annoy me, when I find myself not getting the normal "recharge" from positive experiences that I normally get...then I know my mind is not fully right.

A few prime questions I have are:
a) Do you feel as though your "mind is right" right now? I mean do you feel confident that you are in a good place to make one of the most important decisions in your entire life?
b) How would your family and friends feel about your answer to question a?
c) Are you able to compartmentalize the vet school existance as a discrete experience that doesn't have much to do with what you will be doing on a daily basis for the rest of your professional life?

If the answer to (a) is "no" and/or your family and close friends don't think that you are in a good place, then I would approach the vet school office and pull the mental health card. There is no shame in this more than having to take time off to get your gallbladder removed.

It is crucially important to understand that when our mood is low (whatever that means) that we typically take on cognitive biasing that profoundly impacts our decision-making ability. That you almost shouldn't trust yourself to make life alterting decisions without speeking intimately with the people who knows us most and that we trust. And during these times we might need to trust them more than we trust ourselves.

On a bad day most of us could daydream about being a truck driver. No kidding, I do sometimes. Just get in the truck, drive across the country, look out the window. I like to travel, to see small towns. Seems so easy. Most of my headaches and concerns would be gone. But with time, I'd want more, much more than being a truck driver could offer me. Such "escape fantasies" are nothing more than fantasies. You might know that you are thinking about an escape fantasy when you find yourself using words like "reasonably" to describe the happiness that you will find there.

I don't know you, but everything you've written sounds like you really want to be a vet. To get into vet school you spent years working hard through challenges that you probably only worked through because of your passion for being a vet. I would bet that if you made a pie chart that showed your demonstrated history of efforts spent working towards different passions that 90+% would be dedicated to the pursuit of becoming a vet.

It also sounds like you're in a bit of a slump, as all of us fall into from time-to-time. Just that yours happened during the first year of vet school. It doesn't sound like the slump has anything to do with being a veterinarian. I hope that you don't let the slump pull you off the path towards your dream.

PS: Socially what I most remember from med school are the minority of neurotic classmates that caused me grief. These types of students emit crazy on a wavelength that resonates whatever insecurity cells you have in your body. Now that you mention it, this caused me much grief. But it was hard to ignore them when you're basically working around them for so many hours per week, seeing them frequently on the weekend as well...
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 user
I don't have anything too amazing to add. I'll just say that vet school kinda sucked and I never really felt all that happy to be there. I mean, I was proud, but it was a long hard slog. Don't get in over your head if you can help it, but understand that you get tired of swimming. I think everyone does.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 users
I have said (and had people agree with me) that if I chose a different school (with no friends attending) that I would still be in school. Also, a lot of people on this site do not recommend vet med to people who can imagine themselves happy elsewhere. I think I can imagine myself reasonably happy in other pays, but I can imagine myself happy in vet med. It is hard to know which feelings are more genuine.

It's easy to say, "I would be happier at a place where I didn't know anyone" but there will be competitive students at every vet school. It's hard for some people to forget the idea that they're already in and don't need to outdistance their peers anymore to get the prize. I can guarantee you that there will always be someone bragging about how much or little they studied, what their grades are, what the answer to question 7 was, how much experience they have, etc. It's inescapable and it doesn't matter what school you go to, unfortunately. The only way to deal with those people is learning how to train your mind to tune all that out. The tools you utilize to get to that point are up to you.

The thing about being social: it isn't about making friends or having someone to study with or whatever. It's about interacting with your peers. As a vet you will have to communicate with other people in your workplace or outside of your workplace for the benefit of a patient. And when you start working, you will need to be able to connect with strangers in exam rooms but also your co-workers. You'll want to ask a senior vet for their input or need someone to cover a shift or whatever...and it's far more likely to go in your favor if you can at least establish a working friendship with them. Which is what vet school, especially fourth year, is all about.

As for whether or not to go back: if you think you are ready for going back - have found tools that will help you deal with your feelings toward your peers and toward school - go for it. But I get a vibe from your post that you aren't really looking forward to it.
 
I don't have anything too amazing to add. I'll just say that vet school kinda sucked and I never really felt all that happy to be there. I mean, I was proud, but it was a long hard slog. Don't get in over your head if you can help it, but understand that you get tired of swimming. I think everyone does.
How did you manage to stay a float?
 
I know this is not my thread but I feel I can relate to membracidae; therefore, I appreciate the suggestions that twelvetigers, letitsnow, and dyachei have given. I do believe all of you are right and I am working on taking it one day at a time and enjoying the time I do take for myself. Thank you guys.
 
You are definitely not alone in this. I am having the same feelings, I am in a school in the Caribbean and am not very social myself. On top of being away from home this has really taken a toll on me. School is very hard, but I can’t see myself doing anything else but this so I am trying to stick it out. Like what the others have said, I am trying to take it step by step. What has helped me is just making time each day to do something I really enjoy just for a little bit. It seems like everyone talks about how much they study, and that discourages me because I feel like I don’t. I just try to stay motivated as much as possible. I have never had depression until now, and I was at my all time low. I don’t have a lot of friends, and a few I thought were friends don’t seem to be anymore, but a few friends do try to help even by just saying hi and asking how is everything going. Sometimes it helps to enjoy your own personal time and just knowing you don’t have to hang out like everyone else. Do what you know will make you happy even if that means not talking as much as others. I just keep taking it step by step because this is what I want. I went to a doctor and got antidepressants which seems to help. If you are like me I really didn’t want to do that, but it did seem to help so be open to it. Hopefully it will work out for you and good luck, you are not alone in this.
 
Top