How do I stop being bitter?

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I've had many friends in high school who were as equally qualified to get into the school I currently go to. And I see them now, coasting through other schools, because they were cheaper.

Here I am, bitter because I've spent the last two years being a tiny fish in a big pond and I can't help but wonder why people choose schools where it is harder to do well in/more expensive? This is really affecting my mood and therefore grades.

The summer before entering school, I took 3 classes (community college and state school) while working 30+ hours at Target. The credits didn't transfer, I just did this to help my friend who has severe learning issues and thought I might as well enroll too (she got Cs without doing anything, I get Cs with struggling so much). I miss not having to struggle so much. The classes weren't that much easier (though Gen Chem at a cc is a complete joke), but getting an A was extremely easy and the teaching style was nicer too (smaller classes, caring professor).

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I've had many friends in high school who were as equally qualified to get into the school I currently go to. And I see them now, coasting through other schools, because they were cheaper.

Here I am, bitter because I've spent the last two years being a tiny fish in a big pond and I can't help but wonder why people choose schools where it is harder to do well in/more expensive? This is really affecting my mood and therefore grades.

The summer before entering school, I took 3 classes (community college and state school) while working 30+ hours at Target. I miss not having to struggle so much. The classes weren't that much easier (though Gen Chem at a cc is a complete joke), but getting an A was extremely easy and the teaching style was nicer too (smaller classes, caring professor).

Concentrate on improving your own circumstances and making the adjustments you need to succeed. Find what works for you to study and realize you can't change the past. Being bitter about the process or how other people do things isn't going to get you anywhere because there's always someone that will have easier circumstances compared to yours. Also, use the lessons you've learned to shape your future and explore different schools for the future. At a larger school you can still form study groups, attend tutoring/help groups, and go to prof office hours and find resources to help you with friends. Opportunities to succeed are available it's just a matter of recognizing them/being in the right state to recognize them (if you're dismissive it becomes significantly harder).
 
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Between this thread and your other one, I think you need to transfer to a different school.
 
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You're gonna be a doctor, embrace the bitterness.
 
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Working harder will always mean something, regardless of the grade attached to it
 
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Working harder will always mean something, regardless of the grade attached to it

this, people always emphasize grades and how much they matter, but honestly the courses I've done the most poorly in and technically having to drop out of high school taught me the most. Putting the effort in for yourself and not just because you need all As for med school or whatever is where it's at. Push yourself the hardest you can and becoming less attached to outcomes also does a lot though in some scenarios it's insanely hard to recognize and be okay with that.
 
this, people always emphasize grades and how much they matter, but honestly the courses I've done the most poorly in and technically having to drop out of high school taught me the most. Putting the effort in for yourself and not just because you need all As for med school or whatever is where it's at. Push yourself the hardest you can and becoming less attached to outcomes also does a lot though in some scenarios it's insanely hard to recognize and be okay with that.

Getting held up by failures and bull**** will never lead anywhere, **** happens fix it- bite, scratch, dig your way there. If you have the will there will always be a way.

I work at a lab in NIH, we have high end speakers who come in to give talks. A neurologist from Hopkins came in today. He's been spending the last 30 years trying to figure out the neurocognitive disorders associated with AIDS. The therapies of today are treating it systemically, but the viral load remains within the CNS, sometimes dormantly. The talk was an overview of his career, the shortcomings (tons of them) and the breakthroughs. He ended his talk with a great quote...

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

Winston Churchill
 
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I don't know, when you see someone posts that they have a professor that only gives As, it all really starts to weigh on you. I think I need to transfer, working hard doesn't mean much if you end up with a Bio degree and nothing else.
 
Between this thread and your other one, I think you need to transfer to a different school.
I really can't afford to pay 15k a year when I'm paying nothing now. :(
 
Some people like to and and want to be challenged.

That said, you need to stop comparing yourselves to others and deal with your own situation. When you are truly able to stop doing that, you will be much much happier. You are in this situation no matter how bitter/envious/upset you are. Focusing on your bitterness won't change anything other than waste time and make you more upset. If you really do not like where you are, rectify it by transferring to another school where you think you could be much happier. If that's not an option, then rise to the challenge and find a way to excel. If that means going to more office hours for help, signing up for tutoring, learning to be more organized--so be it. In fact, these skills may help you be even more successful in the long run.

There are pros and cons to every decision you make. Some of the pros of going to a more difficult school you just may not be able to see right now. Many people have to take a harder path to get to where they want, but when they do achieve it, they are almost always thankful for the lessons they learned along the way.
 
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Some people like to and and want to be challenged.

That said, you need to stop comparing yourselves to others and deal with your own situation. When you are truly able to stop doing that, you will be much much happier. You are in this situation no matter how bitter/envious/upset you are. Focusing on your bitterness won't change anything other than waste time and make you more upset. If you really do not like where you are, rectify it by transferring to another school where you think you could be much happier. If that's not an option, then rise to the challenge and find a way to excel. If that means going to more office hours for help, signing up for tutoring, learning to be more organized--so be it. In fact, these skills may help you be even more successful in the long run.

There are pros and cons to every decision you make. Some of the pros of going to a more difficult school you just may not be able to see right now. Many people have to take a harder path to get to where they want, but when they do achieve it, they are almost always thankful for the lessons they learned along the way.
Thank you, but the fact that I have messed up has been weighing on me very heavily. I just spent the last 10 minutes calculating what my sGPA would be if all my electives from now are are science and As, I'd be at a 3.6. The problem is my adviser said this has never been done before. So as you can see, I screwed myself out of medicals school.
 
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Thank you, but the fact that I messed up has been weighing on me very heavily. I just spent the last 10 minutes calculating what my sGPA would be if all my electives from now are are science and As, I'd be at a 3.6. The problem is my adviser said this has never been done before. So as you can see, I screwed myself out of medicals school.
Unfortunately, it is what it is and the sooner you accept the situation you are in and stop regretting past decisions (which you can do nothing to change), the quicker you can move on and try to better your situation. Again, living in regret does nothing for you other than make you feel bad and waste time.

What you can change however, is the future. From this point on wards, you will have to try your best to do better in classes. Seek additional resources and help. If you're feeling burnt out, there is no shame in taking a break from school and coming back to own it when you're ready. There are plenty of success stories on SDN from low GPA applicants who have made it to medical school (check out the nontrad forum, the pre-osteo forum, or search for the "underdogs" thread in pre-allo). A low GPA is not the end all, it just means that you will have to take a few extra steps to get to where you want to be. You have plenty of time, it is not a race.

I know it's difficult, but you have to see your situation in a different light and not wallow in regret. I promise you you will feel better about yourself and be able to move on from the past when you do.
 
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I've had many friends in high school who were as equally qualified to get into the school I currently go to. And I see them now, coasting through other schools, because they were cheaper.

Here I am, bitter because I've spent the last two years being a tiny fish in a big pond and I can't help but wonder why people choose schools where it is harder to do well in/more expensive? This is really affecting my mood and therefore grades.

The summer before entering school, I took 3 classes (community college and state school) while working 30+ hours at Target. The credits didn't transfer, I just did this to help my friend who has severe learning issues and thought I might as well enroll too (she got Cs without doing anything, I get Cs with struggling so much). I miss not having to struggle so much. The classes weren't that much easier (though Gen Chem at a cc is a complete joke), but getting an A was extremely easy and the teaching style was nicer too (smaller classes, caring professor).
Hang in there, bud.
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Unfortunately, it is what it is and the sooner you accept the situation you are in and stop regretting past decisions (which you can do nothing to change), the quicker you can move on and try to better your situation. Again, living in regret does nothing for you other than make you feel bad and waste time.

What you can change however, is the future. From this point on wards, you will have to try your best to do better in classes. Seek additional resources and help. If you're feeling burnt out, there is no shame in taking a break from school and coming back to own it when you're ready. There are plenty of success stories on SDN from low GPA applicants who have made it to medical school (check out the nontrad forum, the pre-osteo forum, or search for the "underdogs" thread in pre-allo). A low GPA is not the end all, it just means that you will have to take a few extra steps to get to where you want to be. You have plenty of time, it is not a race.

I know it's difficult, but you have to see your situation in a different light and not wallow in regret. I promise you you will feel better about yourself and be able to move on from the past when you do.
I understand and I (hopefully) will move on soon. I just am really scared of doing further unnecessary damage.
 
I really can't afford to pay 15k a year when I'm paying nothing now. :(
You can get loans, grants, scholarships, etc. There are lots of ways to pay for school, and even if you don't get everything paid for at a different school, would you rather have some undergraduate debt and be competitive for medical school, or would you like to have 0 debt and have almost no chance at getting into medical school?
 
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You can get loans, grants, scholarships, etc. There are lots of ways to pay for school, and even if you don't get everything paid for at a different school, would you rather have some undergraduate debt and be competitive for medical school, or would you like to have 0 debt and have almost no chance at getting into medical school?

I agree with this. Sure you'll have 0 debt if you don't, but you won't get into med school and instead have a biology degree that you'll do nothing with.
 
1) Stop comparing yourself to others. The person you should be competing with is yourself
2) Depression is poorly managed on anonymous internet forums. get some counseling stat.
3) Find a school where you're happy. Easy, hard, it doesn't matter. The MCAT is the great leveler of things.
4) Go to your school's learning or education center, and get help for your learning style. One of the things they'll help you with is good time mgt, which is crucial for success in any endeavor.
5) Cheaper doesn't mean "easier". My state schools cost 1/2 as much as the local private schools, and they're they're just as rigorous, if not more so.

I've had many friends in high school who were as equally qualified to get into the school I currently go to. And I see them now, coasting through other schools, because they were cheaper.

Here I am, bitter because I've spent the last two years being a tiny fish in a big pond and I can't help but wonder why people choose schools where it is harder to do well in/more expensive? This is really affecting my mood and therefore grades.

The summer before entering school, I took 3 classes (community college and state school) while working 30+ hours at Target. The credits didn't transfer, I just did this to help my friend who has severe learning issues and thought I might as well enroll too (she got Cs without doing anything, I get Cs with struggling so much). I miss not having to struggle so much. The classes weren't that much easier (though Gen Chem at a cc is a complete joke), but getting an A was extremely easy and the teaching style was nicer too (smaller classes, caring professor).
 
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I really can't afford to pay 15k a year when I'm paying nothing now. :(

I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. I'll trade you my 3.9 GPA for your $0 debt.
 
You can get loans, grants, scholarships, etc. There are lots of ways to pay for school, and even if you don't get everything paid for at a different school, would you rather have some undergraduate debt and be competitive for medical school, or would you like to have 0 debt and have almost no chance at getting into medical school?
On the other hand, if you have a free ride at a top 5 school, you have the talent to do well and the undergrad admissions office saw that. Man up! If you go to a grade deflating school, adcoms will know that (Reed, UChicago and MIT are the first three that come to mind but there are others).
 
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1) Stop comparing yourself to others. The person you should be competing with is yourself
2) Depression is poorly managed on anonymous internet forums. get some counseling stat.
3) Find a school where you're happy. Easy, hard, it doesn't matter. The MCAT is the great leveler of things.
4) Go to your school's learning or education center, and get help for your learning style. One of the things they'll help you with is good time mgt, which is crucial for success in any endeavor.
5) Cheaper doesn't mean "easier". My state schools cost 1/2 as much as the local private schools, and they're they're just as rigorous, if not more so.
On the other hand, if you have a free ride at a top 5 school, you have the talent to do well and the undergrad admissions office saw that. Man up! If you go to a grade deflating school, adcoms will know that (Reed, UChicago and MIT are the first three that come to mind but there are others).
I've already done so much damage to my GPA and it's nearly impossible to raise it much. I don't want to transfer, I like my school, but when I see my friends working full/overtime while taking 5 Biology classes and getting As, it kind of gets to me and I become bitter. I don't know why any premed chose to go to this kind of school. :(
 
I've already done so much damage to my GPA and it's nearly impossible to raise it much.

Do you even math?

Honestly, you're just whining at this point. You're miserable bordering on depressed. Chatting this out on SDN isn't going to help you. Take some ownership of your situation, stop blaming the school, and do something about it. Either buckle down and get better grades, accept your lot in life, transfer, or something. Talk to a guidance counselor.
 
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[ QUOTE="43092, post: 15305570, member: 618955"]I've already done so much damage to my GPA and it's nearly impossible to raise it much. I don't want to transfer, I like my school, but when I see my friends working full/overtime while taking 5 Biology classes and getting As, it kind of gets to me and I become bitter. I don't know why any premed chose to go to this kind of school. :([/QUOTE]

Why are you complaining about things you have no control of?

Here are your three choices
1. Transfer to your friends school or an easier and pay up
2. Study harder and improve your GPA. If your GPA truly doesn't matter anymore because you ruined your GPA too much, then finish up and do a post bac
3. To answer how to stop being bitter - stop being bitter. Stop comparing yourself to them and their life style.

On the bright side, they work full time and/or overtime and probably barely cover their tuition and you don't have to worry about tuition at all. I think you are on the greener side btw.
 
Do you even math?

Honestly, you're just whining at this point. You're miserable bordering on depressed. Chatting this out on SDN isn't going to help you. Take some ownership of your situation, stop blaming the school, and do something about it. Either buckle down and get better grades, accept your lot in life, transfer, or something. Talk to a guidance counselor.
I have, this entire term. I've been told to transfer by many people if I want a better GPA. So I'm very conflicted because each has pros and cons.
 
Do you even math?
2.9 sGPA ith all science classes while getting 4.0s = 3.6. Problem is adviser says almost no one, even smart people, get 4.0 GPAs
 
The 2 step method to stop being bitter:

1. Quit looking in your neighbor's bowl to see if they have more than you.
2. Quit thinking you're entitled to what they have.
 
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The summer before entering school, I took 3 classes (community college and state school) while working 30+ hours at Target. The credits didn't transfer, I just did this to help my friend who has severe learning issues and thought I might as well enroll too (she got Cs without doing anything, I get Cs with struggling so much). I miss not having to struggle so much. The classes weren't that much easier (though Gen Chem at a cc is a complete joke), but getting an A was extremely easy and the teaching style was nicer too (smaller classes, caring professor).

I am really confused by this p0st, particularly the bolded section. A friend with learning issues got Cs without doing anything but you struggled to get Cs in the same classes at the same school??

But if you are earning < B average, you might be in the wrong school (in over your head) or in the wrong field. Are you sure the natural sciences are where you belong?
 
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I am really confused by this p0st, particularly the bolded section. A friend with learning issues got Cs without doing anything but you struggled to get Cs in the same classes at the same school??

But if you are earning < B average, you might be in the wrong school (in over your head) or in the wrong field. Are you sure the natural sciences are where you belong?
I'm comparing her in her CC class to me in my school. When we were enrolled in the same university/CC I got As.
 
The 2 step method to stop being bitter:

1. Quit looking in your neighbor's bowl to see if they have more than you.
2. Quit thinking you're entitled to what they have.
I'm not, but it's hard not to get depressed when you could have a better GPA elsewhere. I guess I'll just raise my GPA to 3.0 and then do an SMP.
 
Yeah just do your best on the MCAT and extracurriculars and then do an SMP and you're in.
 
Yeah just do your best on the MCAT and extracurriculars and then do an SMP and you're in.
Yeah Im still confused on the path I want to take. I'm now thinking about transferring, but by the time I'd be admitted, I'll be close to graduating.
 
I've had many friends in high school who were as equally qualified to get into the school I currently go to. And I see them now, coasting through other schools, because they were cheaper.

Here I am, bitter because I've spent the last two years being a tiny fish in a big pond and I can't help but wonder why people choose schools where it is harder to do well in/more expensive? This is really affecting my mood and therefore grades.

The summer before entering school, I took 3 classes (community college and state school) while working 30+ hours at Target. The credits didn't transfer, I just did this to help my friend who has severe learning issues and thought I might as well enroll too (she got Cs without doing anything, I get Cs with struggling so much). I miss not having to struggle so much. The classes weren't that much easier (though Gen Chem at a cc is a complete joke), but getting an A was extremely easy and the teaching style was nicer too (smaller classes, caring professor).

Just worry about yourself in this case. Focus on being all you can be. Another person's achievement doesn't necessarily dwarf yours, unless you choose to make it so.
 
Practice some Stoicism. Why should you let other people dictate your happiness? There will always be people who coast through life, maybe because of their intelligence, looks, or just plain luck. But you know what? You really don't have control over them. The only thing you do have control over is yourself. Don't give that up.
 
Just worry about yourself in this case. Focus on being all you can be. Another person's achievement doesn't necessarily dwarf yours, unless you choose to make it so.
+1

Focus on you, and don't play the comparison game. Everyone is on a different life track, and there's enough success in the world to go around. Practice thinking about what you're grateful for in your life. Find a few things that you have in your life that you wouldn't trade for the world---like maybe you have super supportive parents, or an amazing relationship, or an artistic talent, or a loving pet, or great financial aid at a top school ;), etc.
 
Your problem is that you assume that other people getting A's don't work for it. You are wishing that you didn't have to work to get an A. I suggest you shoot for a Business Degree and go into the corporate world. It is much more suited to your mindset. If you are scared of hard work, medicine is definitely not for you.
 
I suggest you shoot for a Business Degree and go into the corporate world. It is much more suited to your mindset. If you are scared of hard work, medicine is definitely not for you.

I found this to be very harsh. Based on previous posts it seems you are a non-trad and also had to overcome barriers to achieve acceptance into med school, so I don't really understand why you, out of all people wouldn't be supportive of someone who is obviously struggling. There just seems to be some lack of empathy, some disconnect in your response.

That being said, my understanding is that regardless of your GPA succeeding in a particular field is never easy. I wish OP the best-hopefully you'll take the advice given previously.
 
I found this to be very harsh. Based on previous posts it seems you are a non-trad and also had to overcome barriers to achieve acceptance into med school, so I don't really understand why you, out of all people wouldn't be supportive of someone who is obviously struggling. There just seems to be some lack of empathy, some disconnect in your response.

That being said, my understanding is that regardless of your GPA succeeding in a particular field is never easy. I wish OP the best-hopefully you'll take the advice given previously.

I've noticed that, often, the people who struggle hardest to get somewhere are the least tolerant of the struggles of others. I've been guilty of that myself, for example in the arena of fitness and weight loss.
 
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I found this to be very harsh. Based on previous posts it seems you are a non-trad and also had to overcome barriers to achieve acceptance into med school, so I don't really understand why you, out of all people wouldn't be supportive of someone who is obviously struggling. There just seems to be some lack of empathy, some disconnect in your response.

That being said, my understanding is that regardless of your GPA succeeding in a particular field is never easy. I wish OP the best-hopefully you'll take the advice given previously.

The answer is simple. I don't make excuses for my "struggles", in fact I don't consider them "struggles". Sure I did Engineering and worked full time while pursuing my degree, and I didn't get a perfect GPA, but I am proud of that accomplishment. I did the same thing to gather my prerequisites for medicine. Instead of feeling sorry for myself because I had to work a 50 hour week and then study for school and the MCAT I buried my head and tried to kick ass. These experiences have made me stronger and wiser.

I am not supportive of this person because they make excuses for their failure. They are not seeking to better themselves, but rather trying to blame everyone else for their failure. I cannot count the number of people who would blame the professor because he was "too hard". The thing I loathe the most is when a loser sees the success of somebody else and attributes it to "luck" or because that person is "smart", or that person is at an "easier school". Every successful person I know works hard. There is no luck, there is no magic, there is no easier or harder. It all boils down to self-responsibility and what you are willing to do to make sure you reach your goals.
 
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The answer is simple. I don't make excuses for my "struggles", in fact I don't consider them "struggles". Sure I did Engineering and worked full time while pursuing my degree, and I didn't get a perfect GPA, but I am proud of that accomplishment. I did the same thing to gather my prerequisites for medicine. Instead of feeling sorry for myself because I had to work a 50 hour week and then study for school and the MCAT I buried my head and tried to kick ass. These experiences have made me stronger and wiser.

I am not supportive of this person because they make excuses for their failure. They are not seeking to better themselves, but rather trying to blame everyone else for their failure. I cannot count the number of people who would blame the professor because he was "too hard". The thing I loathe the most is when a loser sees the success of somebody else and attributes it to "luck" or because that person is "smart", or that person is at an "easier school". Every successful person I know works hard. There is no luck, there is no magic, there is no easier or harder. It all boils down to self-responsibility and what you are willing to do to make sure you reach your goals.

The only criticism/suggestion is disagree with is your assessment that individuals in the business field don't work hard. Plenty do and the ones that generally successful (the ones that move up the ladder) do work hard.

But I'm with you on this one. Making excuses for your own failures simply by blaming others gets you nowhere. There are plenty of rigorous schools out there and plenty of students do succeed and manage a better than 3.0 average.

And as someone who attended a "lowly" state school, I take offense to the assumption that state schools are easier. Mine most certainly wasn't a walk in the park. I busted my butt to get the gpa I got. I didn't just simply show up to get an A. That's not how it works and to be expected to be handed A's without working for them will only give you a one way ticket back to your parents house after graduation with a useless degree. In the grand scheme, if you're not up to par, when applying for jobs, McDonald's (or whoever, doesn't matter here) won't care that you want to a top 5 school.

So escape from the mindset that people at "easier" schools don't work for it. Don't be presumptuous.

Basically the point is, be prepared to work hard or do something else.
 
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The only criticism/suggestion is disagree with is your assessment that individuals in the business field don't work hard. Plenty do and the ones that generally successful (the ones that move up the ladder) do work hard.

Oh yea, good point. I definitely made a low blow there. I was showing some of my "bitterness" :D

This comes from working as an Engineer, being managed by Business grads. During my 10 year career, I realized that this model simply doesn't work. There has to be some sort of technical expertise in order to drive a technical project forward. I am sure Business grads do great in more business oriented ventures. Definitely not in a highly specialized field like mine.
 
Oh yea, good point. I definitely made a low blow there. I was showing some of my "bitterness" :D

This comes from working as an Engineer, being managed by Business grads. During my 10 year career, I realized that this model simply doesn't work. There has to be some sort of technical expertise in order to drive a technical project forward. I am sure Business grads do great in more business oriented ventures. Definitely not in a highly specialized field like mine.

Ahh, didn't realize this is what capacity you're working with business people. You'd be surprised at a real business firm (basically the point of its establishment is business practice. My fiancé is involved in valuation).

That's the problem when something is run by people who don't really know the details of your job. I work at cvs and policy is dictated by businessmen who have never set foot in a pharmacy. (Hence low job satisfaction).
 
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Sorry, but my friend who is working 12 hours a day, working out for 2, and going to school in her free time doesn't have the time to study for her 5 Biology classes, but she still gets As. Yes, this school is expected to have a slightly higher than average GPA, but it really makes me feel worthless. Especially since I found out she's applying to PA schools. I chose the wrong path, because I thought I could handle having to work harder. But I clearly can't. I'm going to try to apply to a few in state schools and hopefully they accept me.
 
I don't think medical school is going to be any easier than undergrad.
I don't expect undergrad or medschool to be easy, I just want possible and more transparency.
 
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