How to deal with this?

[mwest]

Ever since I matched into Family Medicine (I decided against IM just a few months before applying), I have been on the recieving end of lots of c**P. People around me (esp. the IM academics among my family friends) seem to blantantly assume that my grades were not good enough, or I am intellectually lazy or not interested in training further/specializing. Instead of congratulations, I got more strange looks, like, " Oh. Family Medicine."
Many had discouraged and advised me straight not to go into FM because it's "on the verge of decline" and I've been told things like, " How can one doctor do everything?" , " Family Medicine invites just about everybody, don't worry just show interest", or " FM jobs are hard to find outside of the countryside these days because everything is so specialized."
I interviewed at very competitive programs ( 2 of them nationally ranked in top 10) and matched at my #4 choice but it disappoints me that people think it was so easy.

Trust me, I know that ideally I should not be bothered by all this, but in reality I am really upset that I am being categorized like this because of my choice of specialty. Sorry for the rant, but I am looking forward to hearing from you guys about what you faced and how you handled it.

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[asmallchild]

I personally like taunting naysayers by informing them, "You're probably just jealous. It's okay. I understand."

But then again, if they're family friends, you might want to avoid this passive aggressive method.

 

[Tigerz_Fan]

Ever since I matched into Family Medicine (I decided against IM just a few months before applying), I have been on the recieving end of lots of c**P. People around me (esp. the IM academics among my family friends) seem to blantantly assume that my grades were not good enough, or I am intellectually lazy or not interested in training further/specializing. Instead of congratulations, I got more strange looks, like, " Oh. Family Medicine."
Many had discouraged and advised me straight not to go into FM because it's "on the verge of decline" and I've been told things like, " How can one doctor do everything?" , " Family Medicine invites just about everybody, don't worry just show interest", or " FM jobs are hard to find outside of the countryside these days because everything is so specialized."
I interviewed at very competitive programs ( 2 of them nationally ranked in top 10) and matched at my #4 choice but it disappoints me that people think it was so easy.


Trust me, I know that ideally I should not be bothered by all this, but in reality I am really upset that I am being categorized like this because of my choice of specialty. Sorry for the rant, but I am looking forward to hearing from you guys about what you faced and how you handled it.

Personally, I have a great amount of respect for the FPs. Mainly because they do it all, and the knowledge base has to be vast.

 

[deleted87716]

I don't really care what stupid people think. That's how I deal with it.

 

[MedicineDoc]

I deal with it by remembering how much I hated my previous specialty residency and and how much I love the broad scope of FM. Additionally, there is a release that comes with doing what makes you happy and being able to not care what some malinformed douche thinks.

 

[lowbudget]

Agree with Blue Dog. Why are you looking for people to validate your decision?

Good for you for having the guts to do your own thing, not follow the crowd, and not doing what other people tell them to do.

There are people out there who never learned how to break free, think for themselves, make their own decisions, and live with the consequences for their decisions... because they're always looking for someone else's approval.

I'm sure you know some people who fit this profile, and they are the most miserable lot. These are the people who went into surgery because someone told them to. Or, the people who went into medicine to please their parents (or someone).

But, you bucked the system. Now, marching to your own drummer.

You don't have to justify yourself to anyone. You don't need to compare yourself to other people. And you don't need to seek validation from anyone. At least, not for something that you've obviously thought a lot about, sought lots of counsel, and have weighed all the pros and all the cons, and have accepted the consequences of your own decisions.

Welcome to adulthood. To taking control of your own life. To creating your own destiny. You got what you wanted. Now stop looking for that pat on the back.





... (congrats on your match & your decision to do the coolest job on earth.)



Now, go out and party away the rest of your 4th year!

 

[Bleurberry]

Agree with Blue Dog. Why are you looking for people to validate your decision?

Good for you for having the guts to do your own thing, not follow the crowd, and not doing what other people tell them to do.

There are people out there who never learned how to break free, think for themselves, make their own decisions, and live with the consequences for their decisions... because they're always looking for someone else's approval.

I'm sure you know some people who fit this profile, and they are the most miserable lot. These are the people who went into surgery because someone told them to. Or, the people who went into medicine to please their parents (or someone).

But, you bucked the system. Now, marching to your own drummer.

You don't have to justify yourself to anyone. You don't need to compare yourself to other people. And you don't need to seek validation from anyone. At least, not for something that you've obviously thought a lot about, sought lots of counsel, and have weighed all the pros and all the cons, and have accepted the consequences of your own decisions.

Welcome to adulthood. To taking control of your own life. To creating your own destiny. You got what you wanted. Now stop looking for that pat on the back.





... (congrats on your match & your decision to do the coolest job on earth.)



Now, go out and party away the rest of your 4th year!

 

[aparecida]

I am in the same position, and I've found that when you confront those assumptions head-on, people usually back down -- it becomes apparent that they're talking out of ignorance.

So, the proper response to "Oh. Family medicine." is "Yeah! I'm really excited, it's going to be awesome!" Generally people are too embarrassed to continue to express disappointment in the face of obvious, genuine enthusiasm, so they'll at least fake some interest/happiness at that point. If not, I go on and talk about how great my program is and how much people need primary care. That either shuts them up or brings out more biases that I can smack down.

If you get "How can one doctor do everything?" the answer is, "You have to be really smart! You've got to know your stuff and keep up." And when people suggest it's in decline or not in demand outside rural areas, I say, "Actually, there's a huge shortage of quality primary care. Especially with the population aging..." etc. When people suggest that it's easy to get in to, I talk about how my program draws candidates from well-known allopathic programs across the country ("UCLA? Really?!"), and how my other top choice told me 25% of their residents had board scores ~240+. (Now, I realize that prestige stuff doesn't matter, but if that's the only language people speak, fine, I'll speak it to them.)

It's all about knowing the facts and having proper responses:

"You just don't get enough peds ... how can two months be enough?" "Well, you see kids on the FM wards throughout your residency [if true], and a large proportion of your clinic population is kids, so your outpatient exposure to general peds is actually quite similar to a peds resident's."

"You're too smart for that." "Shouldn't the smartest people be going into the field where you have to have the broadest knowledge base and have the most potential for adding years of life?"

Et cetera. I know a lot of people don't think it's worth trying to talk with the ignorant, but I think it's important to confront misconceptions. Also, it entertians me

 

[thethom]

When you have finished seeing all your patients at 4:30 and you are out playing an evening round of golf, just remember that they are either still stuck in residency/fellowship, stuck at the hospital, or stuck doing the graveyard shift in the ED.

You have to do what you want and what makes you happy, not what other people think you should be doing. When you are 50, will it really matter what people said when you were 26, or will you be more interested in going to the office, doing your work, and then going home to see your wife and kids?

Remember, its just a job, but your LIFE is your real work.

-Dr. T

PS those without a life outside of medicine would disagree with the above statement...

 

[mwest]

Thank you so much for your comments. It was good to know that I am not alone in enduring this.
I hope our colleagues have better attitudes than what they show on SDN ( "my specialty is better than yours").